'Give Me Love' by Ed Sheern is the song this story was inspired by.
I fell in love with a boy.
Not just any boy.
Peeta Mellark, my little baker.
Before him my life was all about sex and one night stands, I was welcomed every morning in a cold, damp bed feeling nothing. In the beginning I thought going to clubs finding girls was fun but now it's more of a habit. I also hate it when the girls don't leave in the morning and beg to stay.
My friends also tell me to stop the one night stands and start to settle down and find a nice girl, start a real life. I think they're saying this just because all of they are in long term relationships of there own. Glimmer and Marvel have the longest running relationship being married and been together for five years. They also have children too and Clove haves been dating this guy called Chris for about a year and a half now.
Even Finnick,a guy who was in same position as me a while back ;even worse. Found 'the one ' a girl Annie who has social anxiety and who I only met once or twice. People were pretty shocked to say the least about the whole thing but I never seen him so happy, I'm a bit jealous of him.
When I met Peeta it was in Glimmer and Marvels house.
"Hey so why am I here ?".
"Dude you promise you would help with the repainting in the nursery, everyone else is here." True enough they were, even Annie surprisingly. They were already in deep conversion about something and when they notice me they all stopped to stare.
I give them a tired look, "What ?"
"I'll put on some coffee". Finnck stated. Annie followed with a tight grip on him. Everyone started to laugh, all asking how many girls I banged and if any stayed the night.
"Only one tonight and she didn't thank God" I say sinking into my chair.
"Oh, yeah someone should get Peeta to see if he wants any coffee" Clove says.
"Who?" I never heard of Peeta before or at least I can't remember if I did.
"Peeta, he's Glimmer cousin. He's super cute"
She gusted, Chris elbowed her gently raising a eyebrow.
"Not like you baby, more like a little brother kinda cute " She kisses his cheek and gives him a quick squeeze, I look at them envious.
"Anyway where is he?" I ask.
"Nursery" Annie squeaks, I give her a grateful smile. She is really nice but I wish spoke out more. I make my way to the nursery when this Peeta guy is suppose to be, as I walk closer to it I start to hear music. I recognise the song, 'Something good could work' by Two Door Cinema Club, I love that song. The door is wide open and I look in to find a boy about eighteen/nineteen dancing and singing along with the music and doing a damn good job of it. The floor was covered in paint tins and papers, but I couldn't take my eyes off the man in front of me but I can only see the back of him, not that I'm complaining. Suddenly he turns, screams and falls. I rush to catch him but I only get his arm and his ass hits the floor with a loud bang.
"You okay, mate?" Now that I get a proper look at his face I realise Clove was right, he was cute but not in a little brother way. He had golden blonde hair, a define jaw and big beautiful blue eyes. Okay this is weird, I've never described anyone like that before let alone a guy. We stare at each other for what feels like forever before he shakes his head.
"I'm so sorry, I must look like an idiot. I'm really sorry but you're kinda like my savour or knight in shining armour, Wait! No that can off wrong! Um I'm going to shut up now.". He blushes furiously, which makes him even more cute. His voice is so smooth I could listen to him babble all day and I hate babble.
" No problem my pleasure. Well . . . Um Finnick was wondering if you wanted some coffee"
" Yea, sure. I 'll come now." he gathers the paper from the floor. When he gets up he still has that adorable blush dusting his kinda chubby cheeks. I ask if he's okay, he nodded again opening his mouth,
" I'm Peeta"
I look at him weird but he gives me such a wide smile that I nod.
" And I'm Cato. Here let me help you" I extend my hands so he can pass me some papers. While we make our way to the kitchen/dining room, I said he was a great dancer just to see his reaction and I wasn't disappointed at all his face turned bright pink.
"Shut up" he shoved me playfully pouting at me, so worth it. I can't help but laugh and so does he.
" I like your laugh" he says out of the blue. I'm shocked, no one has ever complimented me like that. It was so pure, people usually just say how hot or sexy I am. It feels different but good different. I look at him, what are you doing to me Peeta.
Before I knew it we were surrounded by everyone in the kitchen, it seemed like everyone has meet Peeta before me because he is welcomes with hi's and hugs even Annie greeted him. I feel myself fill with an unknown feeling I don't know how to describe it but I feel like the odd one out and I want to be included.
" Here you go Peeta, some tea with milk no sugar, right?" Finnick questions.
" Right, Thank you Finnick"
" I thought you were making coffee? " I questioned. I'm not a tea drinker this is America we don't drink tea, coffee is more our style or mine at least.
" I did but Peeta doesn't like coffee so I made him tea instead."
Peeta sips on his tea quietly looking over his pages, I always thought drinking tea was for women and little girls but it sort of suited him. Clove started a conversion about tea and coffee drinkers about how that tells you so much about a person.
We discuss this until we hear the front door open revelling a pregnant Glimmer with her three year old son Bradley, he looks miserable until he sees Peeta.
" Peeta! " he shouted running into his arms.
"Hey, how's my man?". Peeta says while lifting him up, I smile at the sight thinking that Peeta would make a wonderful father. He would make a wonderful anything.
"Are you going to help us paint your new baby brother or sister's room today?". Peeta asks setting him down. Bradley agrees and says he was a bit scared of having a little brother or sister.
"You'll be fine, everyone feels like that" Finnick says.
"True, when Rye was born I was so terrified that I would be a bad big brother to him but all you have to do is help and protect them also it helps when you are more of a best friend than a brother. It's like how your mum and dad fell in love they became best friends then fell in love. Friendship is a key factor in love, if it's not there then there's nothing, remember that. "
Peeta's words really got to me because they were so true. I never really thought about it before love is nothing without friendship maybe that's way I never really connected with anyone I wasn't looking for a friend, I was looking for a quick fuck. It would be nice to fall in love with a friend but I don't really have any other ones that I'm interested in or maybe there is . . .
"So is that like you and Katniss?" Bradley asks. Who's Katniss? She sounds like bitch. I look at Peeta and it turns out he was sneaking a glance at me, his expression terribly sad. He open his mouth to speak but Finnick's voice comes first.
"Come on Bradley, why don't you help your mum out and bring her a cup of tea."
Brady looks disappointed but he nods anyway, then Peeta says he going to the bathroom. When he left I asked who Katniss was.
"This girl he's been dating for . . . What a few mouths?" Marvel asks.
"I think so. Anyway he doesn't like her that much every time her name is even mentioned he goes as pale as a sheet and changes the subject. She treats him like shit supposedly, like cheats on him non-stop with some childhood friend of hers." I nearly break the mug I was holding because I'm so mad. How dare she, the bitch. I want to kill her, Peeta deserves more than that.
"Why is he with her?" I ask.
"I don't know, like that quote from 'The perks of being a wallflower'. We except the love we think we deserve." Chris explains " but it's sad though he really does deserve better."
The room went silence and I couldn't help but feel bad for him. I'm also filled with anger because he doesn't see how amazing he is.
Glimmer started to shout, "Will you guys just start to paint this God damn nursery and LEAVE!".
Peeta was dragged into the room by Bradley, who was gathering us to head to the nursery. We all pick up a brush and started, Clove and Marvel had a massive argument about the music. Finally Peeta said to put on the radio thankfully, when it's turned on we all start to sing Rude by Magic together soon after Glimmer came inside and Marvel offers a hand asking for a dance.
"AAAwwww !" everyone chants. Peeta nudges me playfully.
"Come'on that's cute ".
"I don't find public displays of affection. . . nice to look at" I state.
"But nice to be in. " he says wistfully with a sad sort of smile.
We finish up about a few hours later but before I left I exchanged numbers with Peeta and when I look back on that day I always remember how nervous I was.
The only time I was ever close to calling Peeta was when I was drunk but I thought of calling all the time. After I met Peeta all I did at clubs was make out with girls and eventual leave them to get drunk. I couldn't get him out of my head at first I was a bit freaked out because he was a guy but slowly I didn't mind. I like him he is the only person I have ever liked on a more than just a shag level and he is the most beautiful person I have ever met, physically and personality wise.
Every time I begin to make out with a girl, she begins to turn into Peeta. I image her fake tan kissed skin being his beautifully pale skin. Her lips plastered in lip stick being his perfectly sharpened natural ones, his hands wandering into my hair but then I need to breathe and it ends. The smoke is lifted and the mesmerising boy I was kissing turned in a bleach blonde bimbo. I'm trying to convince myself that I haven't done the unthinkable and he has a girlfriend, a shit one but one none the less. However that isn't my unthinkable mine is to fall in love.
The day Peeta and I became really close was the day he broke up with Katniss. We hung out before hand but this was the day we really connected. We meet at Starbucks and the day started out good we talked about anything and everything as usual but then that's when we seen her. Katness with some tall brunette guy, when Peeta saw them he shielded his face so she didn't see him.
"What are you doing?"
"Hiding from my sorta girlfriend" he said as if it was obvious.
"Why it's not like you're the one being a slut. Wait, if you don't like her and she treats you like shit. Why are you still with her?"
He looks at me like he didn't know himself.
"She was the only person who really noticed me. I'm basically invisible, no one ever really sees me, you know and she did." He tells me.
"I see you".
Peeta uncovered his face so his eyes meet mine, his big blue eyes were sparkling. I reach for his hand which was laying alone on the table, my hand is greeted with a warm sensation. I give it a reassuring squeeze suddenly he stands up nearly knocking his chair over. It was a very funny sight to see, he had his cheeks puffed and his chest pushed out. I followed him in case he needed some back up, Peeta takes a deep breathe and pokes Katniss on the shoulder. She turns her head and screams.
"Peeta! What are you doing here?"
"Hanging out with Cato while you cheat on me again."
She opens her mouth but he doesn't let her speak.
"No, you know what! I'm breaking up with you, you never treated me like I deserved. I know I'm not perfect but I like to be treated like I have feelings. You should have just told me."
He grabs my hand again, tugging me to leave.
"Come on Cato. Let's go."
"No. Wait" I walk up to her, " Peeta deserves an apology because you have no idea how lucky you are to even be able to call him you're ex-boyfriend" I could literally smell the fear off her.
"I'm sorry Peeta, I love Gale but I should have broken it off between us. I just didn't know how. I'm so sorry."
I was about to shout at her that was a creap apology however Peeta accepted it anyway. I couldn't rap it around my head, I ask him why he accepted it.
"I don't need her to say sorry, I just wanted it over. There is someone else that I kinda like already so I feel better now." I looked side-ways at him and I could see a small smile on his face. As long as he is happy, I guess.
"Well who is it? Maybe I can help"
I really didn't want to but he just broke up with someone so I can't just jump in there. He may not even be gay or like me.
"I don't think so. Can you keep a secret" I nod. " I'm actually gay" yes! " and the guy I like is really too good for me and I heard a lot of bad stuff about him but I don't believe them. Is that just wishful thinking?" He paused for a while. "Would you go out with me?".
My heart just stopped and so did my feet. He walks a few steps in front of me and stops, do I tell him how I feel? About how he makes me feel like I'm worth more than just sex. Do I tell him that he is the most beautiful person I ever meet or that I may be in love with him.
I don't know I mean he would make me the happiest person alive and I would do anything for him but he just broke up with someone and he deserves someone much better than me. However I can't hold myself back any more, I crave his touch, I need his smile and I live for his love.
"Peeta, I " I step forward to fill the space between us. I can now feel his hot breathe on me, he looks up at me biting his pump bottom lip which makes me even more tempted to confess.
"Yes Cato?"
"God " I let out a breathy laugh. "Peeta I . . ."
Ring! Ring! Ring! Ring!
Oh dear God, who is it? I rip my phone out of my pocket. It's one of the girls from the club.
"I'm so sorry, its just some girl" Wait, shit. "Oh yeah, course. It's okay. I better go anyway. Bye." Then he runs away, I shout after him but this girl won't stop calling me. I pick it and growl into it.
"What the fuck do you want?"
"Hey, my big Cato cat. I'm feeling horny and was wondering if you could help me." She says in a fake cute voice.
"Go fuck yourself then, bitch" I hung up harshly. God, why is my past coming to ruin my future. I could be kissing the greatest boy in the world right now but that bitch just had to be the biggest cock block of all time. When I think back on that day I can always remember that feeling when my heart broke for the first time.
I didn't see Peeta for about two weeks, all I did was turn off my phone and rap myself up with my bed covers, eating left over pizza for breakfast. Clove, Marvel and Finnick all began to worry about me, they actually came for an intervention in my apartment.
"Dude, what is wrong with you. You never go out any more to the club or anywhere." Clove stated.
"What's wrong with you? The last time you were out was with Peeta, last week wasn't it?" Finnick asked.
"Well something must have happened between you two because he came to our house crying." Marvel stated.
Oh my God. I'm horrible, he was crying and it was all my fault. Wait, does that mean the guy he likes was me? No it couldn't be me. It doesn't even matter now because he must hate me. I feel like such an heartless dick.
"Shit! Does he hate me now because I hate me."
They all exchanged weird looks. Then Clove spoke, "I don't think so, why? Did he tell you about the whole G-A-Y thing."
"Umm. . . Yeah." they all nod slowly, " why?"
"His mum isn't really the best women in the world and being gay isn't really praised in their family. So he finds it hard to tell people". Marvel says.
Bitch, how could she be like when she has Peeta as a son.
"Cato, we don't know what happened between you too but we know that Peeta is even worst and I mean dangerously worst. So could you please make up soon." Marvel tells me.
"What do you mean dangerously?"
"Glimmer told me about it, when Peeta was younger he went through some really hard times with his mum, school and stuff. Then it got so bad he started to cut himself." Please no!, " it took him a trip to the hospital to finally stop. Even now he finds it hard from time to time."
"I've got to go"
I jump off the sofa so fast I tripped over my blankets, it hurt pretty bad but all I can think about is getting to Peeta. I get dressed and run straight to the door but then someone grabbed my shoulder. It was Finnick, he pulled me aside.
"Finnick I need to go, now "
I try to move but his grip is really strong.
"I know, I just want to give you some advice. I know it's scary when you fall in love with a person so. . . Different than yourself because you think they will be disgusted by you and your past. I was the same until I found Annie and now you've found him"
"Wait how did you know?"
"We all sorta do but that's besides the point. Just what I'm trying to say is that tell him how you feel because I'm pretty such he feels the same."
"Thanks, Finnick. You're a good friend."
"Yeah I know. Good luck, go get him tiger"
I nod and sprint out the front door, I call Peeta but he isn't answering. Fuck! In the car I had no idea what speed I was going all I knew was I have to get to Peeta as fast as possible. When I arrived at Glimmer and Marvel's house, I just bragged in the door trying to find Glimmer. She was in the living room typing away at her phone.
"Glimmer!"
She started to scream, " Jesus Cato, what the fuck are you doing in my house?"
"I need to see Peeta, where is he?"
She give me a knowing look, "At the park I think. Be careful okay, if you hurt him. I will hurt you!"
"Kay, gotta go. Thanks."
The park isn't too far away from here so I start to run. All I can hear is my heartbeat, I need to run faster, faster, fast-.
Then I see him sitting alone under a massive oak tree, his head down and his knees tucked under his chin. Oh my God, my heart is breaking just looking at him. I slowly walk up to him with every step my nerves become worse. I think he heard me because when I reached him, he started to freak out; Scrambling to his feet. That's when I seen his face, his eyes were ringed red and his cheeks were glistening with tears.
"Oh Peeta". I couldn't help but hug him with all my might. I've done this to him, I made him like this. Hugging him now so tightl, I feel everything, his hair tickling the tip of my chin. His lips on the nap of my neck and his heart beating against mine.
"Peeta, I'm so sorry. I never meant to hurt you, I swear to you."
He mutters into my skin, "I don't need your pity."
"I'm not pitying you, I actually came here for a more selfish reason."
He pulls his head out of the crook of my neck giving me a questioning look.
"I need you "
Peeta's mouth literally falls to the floor.
"But I-I-I thought . . . "
I interrupt him, "What? That I was going out with that whore on the phone. Hell no, she's just some girl I had a thing with. That's it."
When he hears this he pushes off me. Wiping his eyes, "Cato, I don't want to be just another fuck for you. I want someone who really cares about me, all your doing is playing with emotions." He starts breathing heavily,
" I mean come on! Isn't it a bit obvious that I am in love with you, you jackass!"
We're both speechless, he looks as if it was his first time swearing to his mum. I start to let out a hallow laugh.
"Don't laugh me! Why are you laughing it isn't funny. Do you know how much emotional damage I've been though. It hurts to feel this way because I know you'll never feel the same. I-I"
I shut him up with a kiss, he didn't respond at first but them slowly he began to move. So did I, one hand starts to encircle his waist while the other held him face. I feel a hand playing with my short hair and another around me. Now I have kissed many a person but they have never felt like this before feeled to the brim with love and so much hope. Kissing Peeta was like breathing fresh air, I needed it to live. I lick his lips playfully testing my limits and I'm rewarded with the most adorable yet sexiest moan I have ever heard. We break for air I see him face which was bright red. I let a wide smile fill my face, it feels so foreign because I haven't smiled for about two weeks. I rest my forehead on his.
"God, I love you"
He stares at me wide eyed.
"I do. I love you Peeta Mellark, you have no idea. Now I know I don't deserve you, I'm a man whore. I've never had a proper relationship with anyone but I want to try with you." I know this is going to take awhile to explain so I take his hand and lead him to his previous sitting place. " The two weeks we didn't see or talk to each other was the worse in my life. All I could do was lay around thinking about you and how I hurt you, I never want to do that again. Please Peeta, I need you. Please love me. That's all I need, your love. Please give me love."
The next thing I know is my lips are covered by his. I feel him throw his leg over my lap and straddle my body while also rapping his arms around my neck and pulling me closer to him.
"Now how can I give you something you already have."
Now its my turn to kiss him, pushing our smiles together. Oh Peeta, you make me fall in love with you more and more. I was in pure bliss until Peeta pulls away.
"Promise me one thing." He says.
"Anything."
"Love me. " He smiles so beautifully at me, what makes it even better is that I know that smile is for me and me alone.
"Now how can I give you something you already have."
