Author's Note: This is happening during the episode 5 (that's the one where D'eon and Anna spend time together in Longchamp and go to confession and stuff).
Look at them, prancing around like idiots. They do not look fit to be in His Majesty's court at all! Those who reside at Versailles must conduct themselves properly in public, which these two have failed at. If I was there, I would be much more poised and proper.
But I'm not there. I'm not alive. I'm dead. Well, somewhat dead, anyway. I envy the way they can move and talk like that. My earthly actions are limited to gruesome acts in D'eon's body. Now look at them, wasting their energy on such frivilous acts.
I can still recall the childhood we all spent together. With them, I could be like a boy but still be a girl. D'eon and I would spar and learn fencing from Teillagory and then I would play dolls and gossip with Anna.
There was the that day Anna told me she thought quite highly of my brother. We were talking about the noble boys around our age when Anna asked me if I had my eyes set on anyone particular. At that time, I had fancied the Duke of Chambray's son who was a little older than us and did not hesitate to name him. I asked Anna the same but she evaded the question. After a couple minutes of intense questioning, she finally said she had some affections for my brother. As expected, I found this utterly repulsive at the time and teased her about it as we grew older.
But, even thought we were children, I could see she had always loved D'eon in a different way than me. After it was announced that they were to be betrothed, Anna glowed with this happiness I couldn't help but be jealous of. Indeed, I thought I would be become betrothed at some point and be able to feel the same happiness. I died before any of that could happen.
I did love Durand but it wasn't the same as the relationship between D'eon and Anna. Anna had always admired D'eon and being chosen to be his wife was a dream come true for her. I knew Durante had loved me and I had loved him just as deeply but I would not have got the same satisfaction out of marrying him.
I have come to terms with the fact that I'm dead but I would do anything to be Anna right now. Doesn't every girl dream of becoming a bride someday?
But I also do pity Anna. D'eon is always so busy and secretive about all that he is doing which is for her safety but she does not know that. Anna is left with no choice but to give her love and support. He could also be a little more grateful and kind towards her. His outburst at her the other day was dispicable. That is so like him to get frustrated so easily and take it out on others. I can even remember him doing that as a child.
I really do miss D'eon. I watch over him constantly but it's not the same as being there and talking to him. I've done my best to communicate with him through small signs but he was always quite dense. I wish I could talk to him, like old times, just one last time. He was my best friend, companion, punching bag. My everything.
But for now, all I can do is watch. I look down and see that D'eon left Anna to pursue that Vorontsov man. Typical. Just before, they were running around like idiots but now they were parting to return to their lives apart. I just wish I could join them.
Author's Note: Sooo, how'd you like it? Loved it? Hated it? Think Auguste could write better than me? ;) I wanna know! R&R s'il vous plaƮt (that's French for please)!
