"Johnny Cage vs. A Burrito"

Rated T for mild language

Disclaimer: I do not own anything associated with Mortal Kombat or any of the characters from that game. Mortal Kombat and its characters are owned and associated by WB Games, Netherrealm Studios and the game's creators, Ed Boon and John Tobias. Anyway, since I'm bored, I decided to do something silly like always. So just to clear my mind, here's another silly yet maybe-randomnous Johnny Cage drabble! So here you go!


It was just another day inside the confounds of the Special Forces Base. Of course, that's where Johnny Cage would spend his mornings walking around hallways while looking at cute cat pictures sent to him by his own daughter, Cassie Cage. Just right now, Cassie had sent him a picture of a cat posing as Cage's ex-wife Sonya Blade, which cracked Johnny up so much that he couldn't stop laughing.

"Ah, I swear I love my daughter so much," Cage said, chuckling at the picture on the phone, "I can't believe my wife's like a grouchy cat all the time."

However, Cage had come to a sudden stop when he looked to the right and saw a vending machine. And inside those machines were not also just chips, candy bars and salted pretzels, but it had Cage's favorite's breakfast item:

Breakfast burritos.

"Oh hell yeah, today's my lucky day." Cage smirked in anticipation as he headed over for the machine.

The half-actor, half-martial artist wasted no time getting his wallet out of his pocket, thereby pulling out a $1 bill. He currently inserted into the machine followed by Cage hitting the C4 button, therefore releasing the wrapped breakfast burrito from its clutches and landing on the entranceway, which Cage managed to get to it first without anyone getting there and stealing it from his hands.

He then unwrapped it and inhaled that sweet, meaty breakfast smell full of eggs, bacon and sausage rolled up in a steamed tortilla.

"Mmmmm, come to daddy..." Cage smirked to himself as he took that first bite.

But when he did...

*SPLAT!*

The rest of the fillings spilled down to the floor, which created a hole at the other end of the burrito and getting it all over his shirt.

"Aw, fuck." grumbled Cage before shouting, "This burrito sucks!"

Once he threw the burrito down in disgust, Cage finally left the hallway, until...

*BAM!*

He slipped on the burrito and landed on the floor face-first!

"OW, MY PRECIOUS FACE!" Cage muffled in pain.

While he laid down in defeat, his ex-wife Sonya Blade somehow started walking by Johnny Cage and looked down with a smirk on her face.

"Got beat by a burrito again, honey?" The general smirked.

"They're tougher than they are..." Cage said, still muffling in pain once again.

"And that's the reason why I'm glad I'm single." Sonya smirked by, sipping her morning coffee while she left.

Cage, on the other hand, was left alone to lick his wounds and the rest of the messy burrito toppings that was still on his shirt. In a matchup between man vs. food, it was the burrito who stood victorious. Talk about a flawless victory.


Eeyup, that's Cage for you in a nutshell. Quite a lovable a-hole he is too. Why on earth is he so likeable and goofy? I don't know, maybe it's just me.

Anyway, read and review, my fellow kombatants. Until then, happy Valentine's Day! ^_^