A/N: New Tricks and Keeping up Appearances crossover, despite the shows being about ten years part at least just imagine they are set around the same time. About S4 for NT and post series two for KUA. DISCALIMER: I OWN NEITHER OF THESE SHOWS (unfortunately). I do hope you enjoy it as much as I have enjoyed writing it. Gee :) x
"Sorry I'm late I had to take my mother to the station, she insisted on leaving this morning and then I got side tracked chatting with Strickland about his weekend, when I went to pick up the case files." Sandra Pullman said struggling to balance the mountain of files as she took off her coat. She rolled her eyes in annoyance when neither Jack nor Brian looked up from their computers to offer her a helping hand.
"Don't worry Gerry isn't here yet." Jack said still not looking up at his boss.
"Well where is he? He is twenty minutes late."
"So were you" Brian Lane reminded the Superintendant.
"Yes well I am the boss round here, he would do well to remember that."
"He took some blonde woman home last night, that's why he's late." Brian explained. "After you left the pub to get back to your mum, some woman wearing a short skirt and not much else came in, she was looking for directions to some bloke's flat, needless to say after she met Gerry she didn't find that bloke's place." Brian said, this time actually looking up at Sandra.
"Now why am I not surprised, how old was she?" She asked heading up the white board as it was about time they actually began looking into their newly assigned case.
"Oh, late forties, early fifties?" Jack said hazarding a guess.
"Good god, was she blind as well as desperate?"
"No, I think just the latter; I think she needed someone to make this fella jealous. The man she was looking for was an ex you see, he has just moved to London, with some other woman and I don't think she was too pleased. She seemed like a nice girl though."
"Well Brian, I won't be too pleased if he doesn't get here soon." Sandra said.
"Now why do I feel my ears burnin'" a cockney voice called, as Gerry Standing waltzed up to his desk and sat down, that impish grin still spread wide across his face.
"You're late" Sandra said coolly.
"Yeah, sorry about that Gov'nor, I had a bit of business I needed to attend to."
"And how much was she charging, for this 'bit of business'?" Sandra joked.
"Very funny Sandra, she was actually a really lovely woman." He said smiling as he recalled last night and this morning's events.
"Did she find her boyfriend's new flat?" Jack said unable to let an opportunity of teasing Gerry Standing pass.
"He's her ex, she was going there because- actually I don't know why she was going there." His colleagues all smiled at each other and kept in their laughter as best as they could.
"Right then, ten years ago there was an attempted armed robbery on a bank in Hackney, no money was taken, nor was it demanded. A man, in his late sixties, early 70's is believed to be the culprit, however, witnesses did not see his face as he was wearing a balaclava and an oversized trilby." Sandra said reading from the original case notes. Gerry laughed at this bizarre description.
"Oh it gets better, the man, who was carrying a toy rifle and a bayonet, claimed that the bank had been seized by German paratroopers and he had been sent in by the army to defend it to the last man. He tied the manager up, a Mr. Harold Kissington, saying that he was a traitor to the English and it was he who had sent the Jerries, who had not yet arrived. A little while later there was an altercation outside and the man upped and left, leaving the manager tied to a chair."
"Blimey O'Riley" was all Jack could think to say.
"But if no money was demanded, can it really be classed as an attempted armed robbery?" Gerry asked.
"Well that's what we are here to find out, Gerald."
"So why has this come to light now?"
"Panorama, Brian."
"Eh?"
"Panorama have investigated the security of Britain's banks in the past ten years and this HSBC bank features rather heavily in the programme apparently, but before they can show it Strickland has insisted at least one case of attempted robbery is investigated, and well this one seemed to keep coming to the top of the pile, I thought you might like the challenge of a unique case, it gives you a change to stretch those little grey cells you keep complaining about."
"What I don't get is why the police weren't alerted." Gerry said squinting at the grainy CCTV images of the man holding up the bank.
"Oh they were, just half an hour after the man had gone."
"Helpful" replied Gerry sarcastically.
"Well that's what keeps cropping up in the documentary, which is why we have been drafted in to investigate" Sandra explained.
"Do we know what this altercation outside was about?" Jack thought he better ask seen as he hadn't said anything for a little while.
"Well apparently, according to witnesses, there was a man outside who looked 'like a thug'; he was wearing a vest which 'didn't look like it has been washed for months', faded ripped jeans, trainers and a baseball cap with the initials FH on them. He also had tattoos on his upper and lower arms and looked like he hadn't had a shave for a couple of days."
"Do we have any CCTV images of the man?" Jack asked.
"No the bank's CCTV didn't cover that part of the pavement, there has been a dispute with the owner of the shop next door over who's patch of land it is, so neither of their security systems cover that 'CCTV blind spot', it's hell with the insurance companies, I am told."
"I'm not surprised" Gerry scoffed.
"Do we have names and address of witnesses; I guess that is the only sensible start to all this nonsense." Jack sighed, the prospect of going round and round in circles was already irritating the eldest man.
"Only two, a Mrs. Doris Simpson and a Mr. Jackson Butler, the others were too scared to come forward".
"Great, you had to pick this case didn't you?"
"Less moaning Standing, it was you who said these cases didn't challenge you enough."
"I was joking, I thought even you could understand that, surely by now you know I don't do hard work."
"Yes of course I do Gerry, that's why when Strickland very kindly let me choose which case I wanted UCOS to investigate, I saw this and thought of you." She smiled.
"Well thank you very much."
"Anytime Gerry, Brian what are you doing?"
Brain hadn't been listening for the last five minutes, his brain had gone into over drive, he was riffling through his desk draws, neatly putting various items on his desk as his search turned into a frantic panic.
"BRIAN!" Sandra shouted, hoping that would get his attention.
"What?"
"Are you paying attention?"
"Umm no."
"Well at least you are honest she said flatly.
"No I mean yes I am, I was looking for this book Esther got me for me birthday last month" the Northerner replied.
"Does it have any bearing on the case?"
"I think it might, Sandra, you see there are a lot of these sort of cases, I saw a news bulletin about an elderly man not so long ago, from near the Midlands somewhere, he had been arrested for holding up a bus station on account of thinking it was being overrun by Germans, he was wearing a big trilby and had a bugle. It was reported that he fought in the Second World War when he was in his twenties. I became interested in this sort of thing so I researched it, there are many reported cases of this, a lot in the Midlands, you see there was no such thing as post traumatic stress then, you just had to get on with things and this book is all about those war heroes who haven't been able to adjust back to a normal life, even now." He smiled pleased with his information he had locked up away, he knew this sort of thing would come in handy at some point.
"Cheers, Brian, let's have a look at that book, can you see if you can track down that case in the Midlands, even if the description doesn't match it might be a good place to start. Jack you try and track down the two witnesses and Gerry see if you can scout around for the bank manager, I think we may be getting somewhere." Sandra said doing what she did best delegating.
About an hour later Jack and Gerry had done all the tracking down they needed to do and had made several telephone calls that didn't give them any more information than what was already enclosed in the files and written up on the board.
"Any luck?" Sandra said returning from the scene of the crime where she had gone to find out more about the CCTV problems.
"Not really, both Mrs. Simpson and Mr. Butler just gave us the description of the chap outside, their descriptions both match up with the one we've got but they don't remember much else, apart from being scared and confused about the hold up. Neither of them bothered to wait for the police to arrive once the man had gone. Mrs. Simpson said her cats needed feeding and Mr. Butler said he needed to collect his children from school, the incident is believed to have happened around 2:45 on the 5th of March ten years ago." Jack explained.
"What about Mr. Kissington the bank manager, what did he have to say for himself?"
"Not a lot, he was involved in a hit and run, his ex wife ran him over five years ago, as she wanted his cold hard cash. He was in a coma for a long period of time so he doesn't remember much as his memory was damaged, apparently. He seemed to clam up when I showed him the CCTV photos."
"So you don't believe him?" Sandra asked?
"Nah, I wouldn't say that exactly, just he is very embarrassed about the whole security issue and most of these incidents happened on his watch." Gerry explained.
"Well, even so go back to him and get records from his doctors about his memory loss, just to be on the safe side, there must be something he can tell us."
"Right O Gov'nor." He saluted.
"Brian how about you?"
"Here" he said handing a wad of printouts to his boss. "All about the same man in the Midlands, the incidents date back from fifteen years ago to present day. Poor man, I think he needs professional help."
"Cheers Brian, do you think he could be our man in question?"
"I don't know, it is possible, do you want me to get in touch with the Midland's boys, see if I can dig up something?"
"Yes please Brian."
"How did it go at the bank?" Jack asked.
"Bloody hopeless, nobody wanted to help."
Just as Brian was about to pick up the phone it rang, it was the front desk. "Yes, yes that should be fine, I'll tell him, bye."
"Who was that?" Sandra inquired.
"Upstairs, there is a woman wanting to speak with Gerry, she's on her way down now."
Gerry rubbed his hands together with glee.
