Bernard, Manny and Fran wake up on the desert island. They are drunk. It's messy. Few bottles of wine are still intact.

Bernard: So we really are on the desert island.

Manny: (panic) What should we do now?

Fran: What about threesome, guys?

Bernard: Good idea! But let's drink first.

Manny: Well, I actually wouldn't do such things.

Fran: (sits near him) Oh. Come on, we *are* on the desert island. What else is left for us?

Bernard: Manny, corkscrew!

Manny: (panic) Oh, my god, what is a cock-screw?

Fran: (picks up a bottle from the sand) Ouch, it's hot. Manny, Bernard meant a bottle-screw.

Manny: (sighs) It's in the shop, why take it here?

Bernard: You're a heartless bastard!

Fran: Wait, and how did we open all yesterday bottles? It must be somewhere nearby. Let's search for it.

Bernard: (takes a cigarette) And a lighter, too!

Fran: Geez, it's so hot here, just turn your head to the sun.

Manny: I found a book.

Fran: Throw it away.

Manny: But it's Shakespeare.

Bernard: What exactly?

Manny: The Tempest.

Bernard: Give it to me, at least I'm not alone! (to the book) Hello, my fellow companion!

Bernard opens a book, it has a hole in the middle and there is a bottle-screw in it.

Bernard: Thank you, Prospero! I have it!

Manny and Fran return from the other side of the island with wineglasses. They drink.

Manny: It's not really bad here. Just hot. (takes off his shirt)

Bernard: Are we starting already?

Manny: (panic) No, no, actually I wanted to clarify some details.

Fran: (turning her head away from the sun, with a lighted cigarette in mouth) Ask, sweetie.

Manny: I never did it…

Bernard: Oh, I'm not surprised at all.

Manny: … with two people. I'm afraid I don't know what to do.

Fran: It's easy. There are 3 options. The first is - you and Bernard are men, I'm a woman.

Manny: Wait, how could it be that there are any other option?

Fran: (getting angry) Do not interrupt me! (drinks up) In this case you two behave like masculine species, trying to please me in the best way you can and even fighting for the honor to be the first to pop in. Of course, the decision is mine, it means that you, Manny, can expect to get a blow job.

Manny: (drinks up) Let me guess, I know what is the second option. You and I are playing the feminine roles, pleasing and petting Bernard till he decide whom he would screw first. The winner gets his happy ending, the loser is desperately trying to get any attention. Well, anyway Bernard will probably muff everything and just get drunk.

Bernard: (drinks up) Yeah. The third variant – we all are old lesbians, who have lost their dildos and now don't remember how they managed to come off without sex toys but hopelessly trying to turn each other on.

Fran: (opening the next bottle) Hey maybe just getting drunk again would be enough?

Manny: (collecting the empty wineglasses) My thoughts exactly.

Bernard: Manny, make me a banana sandwich.