"Are you going to hurt her?" Ymir said to the dark-haired girl standing beside her on the top of a random house. The dark-haired young woman, whom Ymir would have probably addressed as Mikasa if she wasn't currently angry at her, turned to face her friend with an almost frighteningly neutral expression on her face.
"I would only hurt her if she wanted me to." Mikasa responded to her friend with a smile that Ymir would have been able to see if she had remembered to bring a high-powered microscope from her home instead of her almost useless blades and her omni-directional movement device.
"Krista would never let you hurt her, we both know that." Ymir said with a frown that, while slightly more noticeable than Mikasa's earlier smile, still went unseen by her dark-haired friend.
"You're right, Krista would never let you hurt her, we both know that." Mikasa said with a smirk, which infuriated Ymir to the point where she seriously considered using her blades to mutilate Mikasa as an experiment to see if Krista would still find her attractive with a missing arm.
"We should probably go help my girlfriend." Mikasa said, gesturing slightly with her head towards an area a short distance away where a group of three titans appeared to be ambushing a group of humans with no means of defending themselves. A few hours later Mikasa would have chastised herself for allowing two of the three humans to get eaten by the titans, but since none of the humans were named Eren or Krista or Armin, she decided that perhaps the world would be better off without them. Of course, when she discovered that one of the humans was named Historia she forced herself to feel guilty in order to convince Krista to cheer her up with a pity make-out session.
"I understand what's really going on." Ymir said to Mikasa as the two of them used their omni-directional-maneuvering devices to travel towards the three titans who were polite enough to wait for the two knights in surprisingly ineffective armor to reach their destination before feasting on their damsel in distress. Unfortunately, as revealed in an earlier paragraph, the other two damsels weren't as lucky.
"You don't want anybody aside from you to touch Krista, the thought of a titan eating her instead of you makes you feel jealous." Ymir said to her friend as they continued travelling, ignoring three other titans who were wandering throughout the city.
"That's exactly why I don't like you very much." Mikasa said as she gave her friend a glare. "We both know that if you dated her it would only end badly." Mikasa said, as she finally reached the area with the three titans and used her blades to incapacitate one of the three titans as Ymir killed the second, and smallest member of the group.
"And a relationship with you wouldn't end badly, right now she's literally about to be eaten by a titan!" Ymir yelled at her friend, before cutting off one of the arms of the titan who was holding Krista and preparing to eat her. This, of course caused Krista to fall towards the ground.
"That is true." Mikasa said with a smile as she caught Krista before she fell. "Of course, I saved her while you would have probably allowed her to die." Mikasa bragged as she landed on the ground with her girlfriend and gave her an eskimo kiss in an obvious attempt to infuriate Ymir even more.
"You know Mikasa, I think that I'm emotionally ready now for a regular kiss." Krista said as she puckered her lips in expectation and closed her eyes, Mikasa merely responded by smiling and leaning towards Christa's face to give her a chaste kiss on her beautiful nose.
"But you know that I'm not, I don't think I'm ready for an intimate relationship. Maybe once we're free from the distraction of the titans and Eren stops trying to break us apart…"
"Mikasa!" Eren screamed from a rooftop overlooking the two lovers as Ymir glared at her rival in love and the object of her obsessive love as she attempted to eliminate the titans that were travelling towards the two completely oblivious females standing in the street. While Ymir would have been delighted if Mikasa was killed by a titan, she didn't want to risk Christa being eaten by one as well.
"Break up with Krista! You can't fight titans if you're constantly being distracted by her, and you're relationship doesn't seem to be going anywhere. You won't even kiss her when she asks you to!" Eren screamed at the two girls. Mikasa smiled slightly at her friend/brother, before turning to face her girlfriend whom she was still holding in her arms.
"I suppose Eren has a point. Mikasa said to the beautiful girl. "We should probably kiss at least once since statistically we'll probably both be dead fairly soon." Mikasa said before leaning in towards Krista, who had somehow managed to keep her lips puckered up throughout Mikasa and Eren's slightly one-sided conversation, and the two lovers shared their first kiss.
"…And then they kissed, and Krista got pregnant." Armin said as he read his friend-fiction story to his audience of Mikasa, Eren, Ymir and Krista as the group sat around the dinner table and finished their meal. Eren and Ymir visibly frowned at the end of the story while Mikasa and Krista blushed.
"I don't think that's where babies come from Armin, and Krista's pregnancy had absolutely nothing to do with that kiss. Trust me." Mikasa said as she rubbed Krista's slightly larger belly with a smile that was returned by her wife.
"Then that means that my mommy lied to me." Armin said as tears started to form in his eyes. "Mommy told me that if you kissed a girl then the girl whom you kissed would become pregnant because the seeds to grow a baby human are stored in the mouth."
"That's only true for titans Armin." Ymir said with a frown. "Which is why Krista wouldn't let me kiss her when we were dating."
"Then how did she become pregnant?" Armin asked, directing his question to his two romantically-involved friends who started to blush heavily.
"Well, do you remember how Eren's dad was a doctor and had a stash of syringes in his house." Mikasa said to her friends who nodded uneasily with the exception of Ymir.
"I used one of those syringes and borrowed some of Armin's semen." Mikasa said with an embarrassed smile as she looked down towards her wife's belly.
"I put most of it back though."
