Second fic published, yay! This one was written entirely by Dazzle, so enjoy.
She really should have read the signs.
There was no other excuse, nothing which could make her seem any less stupid than she obviously was. She hadn't read the signs and now she was lying flat on her back in the middle of an empty sidewalk late at night. Her head hurt something awful and she was sure she had blacked out for a moment there.
She couldn't help but think that this was a metaphor for everything going on in her life. A sick joke played by the universe to show her just what she had done wrong, what she had missed.
She hadn't read the signs her parents had been showing, and now they were filing for divorce. She hadn't looked over the bills and now they were going broke because her father had been laid off. She hadn't taken the hints her long-term boyfriend had been dropping and now he was cheating on her with his best friend. She hadn't realized that she was inadvertently pushing away everything that mattered to her until she looked up and realized nobody was there. She hadn't paid attention and had slipped and fallen and she could not get up.
There had always been that expectation that all of her life's perfection would one day dwindle and she would have to stand up and figure things out on her own. She just never expected the plummet to be so fast. But it was and now she was paying for it. She should have gotten up by now, brushed herself off and headed home to ice her head and take a shower and sleep and maybe forget about this for the night.
But she didn't.
She laid there on the cold ground with the slush and ice all around her and watched as snow began to fall, cold and clean and beautiful in the dull silver moonlight. She didn't think. She'd been doing that too often lately anyway.
Instead, she felt. Everything that she had been through, all of the craziness, the stress brought on by too many projects and problems, she felt it all and let it out.
There, on the ground in the snow surrounded by cold and feeling that dull ache that tingles throughout the whole body, Wendy shed her first tears since the fourth grade. She let out all of her frustration, all of everything that she usually bottled up because she was strong and liberated and capable, always. It was terrifying and exhilarating.
"Wendy?"
The dark haired girl sat bolt upright, furiously scrubbing at her eyes, hoping that she was either presentable or that there was little enough light that the person would not see her tears, or what a mess she probably was. She spun around to face the unknown boy, forgetting that fast movement on ice was what had gotten her into trouble earlier.
With a shrill shriek and a thump, she was on the concrete again, head pain now much sharper. She heard a snort of laughter from above and briefly thought of socking the guy right in the face. Realizing that that would be somewhat difficult in her current state, and also figuring that she had risen out of her violent phase quite a while ago and delving back into it wouldn't get her anywhere, she decided against that idea and instead opened her eyes and attempted to stand up and run home and forget this ever happened.
"Hey, don't sit up too fast," the currently unknown kid says, leaning down and gently helping her to her feet. She wants to yell at him, tell him that she can take care of herself and she doesn't need him and there are people who need help in third world countries and he should go do kind deeds there. But, she decides, that's a bit demanding and she's so caught off guard by the utter kindness he's showing, a kindness she has become quite unaccustomed to over the past years, that she allows a small smile to form on her face as he steadies her.
Just as she begins mumbling a soft thank you to her rescuer, she looks up and finds her own face inches away from that of Kenny McCormick.
In a moment of clarity, she realizes exactly why she didn't recognize the voice. He doesn't have the hood pulled over his head and she's never heard his voice unmuffled.
In another odd moment, she realizes that Kenny has some of the prettiest eyes she's ever seen.
Finally, shaking her head of her previous thoughts, she turns to leave and realizes the most pressing matter at the moment. His arms are still wrapped around her waist.
"Uh, I have to get going. It's getting pretty late and things are kind of hectic at home and I have a big project that I was assigned and I have to start my research or I'll get behind and I won't get into an Ivy League school and end up flipping burg..." She looks up to see that the blond is lifting an eyebrow at her and slowly trails off.
They stand like that for a bit, just kind of staring at each other and the look he's giving her is both incredibly intent and disturbingly vacant. In the silence, something passes between them, like understanding only more substantial. Trust, maybe. Trust and camaraderie because, out of everyone in the world, he's the one that knows best what she's going through.
She realizes with a jolt that he's the one who should be comforted in this situation because he's the one whose family is dirt poor, it's him who comes to school in threadbare clothing wearing shoes that may just fall apart while he's wearing them one day, it's him who really understands what it feels like to live in a home where the only sound is drunk yelling and the only food is freezer-burnt toaster waffles. It's Kenny who is always left out when Stan and Kyle go into "Super Best" mode, Kenny who has to deal with Cartman constantly throughout the day.
She feels cruel and horrible and exactly like the frigid bitch everyone says she is when they think she's not listening.
"Hey!" Kenny shouts a bit too loudly, startling her, "Don't cry okay, no more crying. Shit Wendy, what happened?"
It's out of her mouth before he even completes his question, everything on her mind spews out in the form of a jumble of word vomit and she's sure he doesn't understand a word of what she's saying, but that doesn't matter. She just needs to let it out.
"-and I'm horrible!" she finishes. She thinks she might continue, but she doesn't . He doesn't really need to hear about how horrible she is. The entire class already knows.
He stares at her for a bit, expression as unfathomable as it was before. "You're horrible?" he asks and there goes that eyebrow again. She nods, looking down at her feet. She tells herself it isn't out of shame because she doesn't feel shame. She chokes back another sob and suddenly his arms are around her in a hug. "You, Wendy Testaburger, are not horrible," his voice is very soft and it's a striking difference from his normal boisterous behavior and crass jargon. She decides that she likes him much better when he isn't talking about girls like objects and recounting his latest exploits.
Maybe she just likes the fact that, with him there, she doesn't feel so alone.
"What about you?" her voice comes out muffled from its spot against his shoulder.
"Mine is the same as it's always been, family fighting and all that shit. I'm so ready to get out but-"
"College costs money?" she cuts in.
"Well, there's that. And I don't want to leave Karen with that. She was devastated when Kev left."
Wendy nods, "I am so sorry."
"Don't be," he says, and again they are standing in silence, the only sound their mingling breaths. Her arm subconsciously pulls him closer and his hand comes up to stroke her hair and, she thinks, this is weird and unexpected and confusing and out of character and nice.
They break away after what could have been seconds or millennia and she feels the cold hit her full-force. "You should get home before your parents freak out," Kenny says. Wendy nods for the umpteenth time that night.
"Thank you."
"Any time," he says with a smile that she can't quite fathom. He turns and begins to walk away and she turns to make her way to her house. His footsteps stop suddenly, snow no longer crunching beneath his feet. She turns around and he's looking at her.
"You know, Stan's missing out." Again he walks and this time she watches him fade out of sight and into the nighttime.
She feels a smile tug at her lips and attempts to slow her heart rate which is speeding by now and she thinks she might have just fallen for the guy.
She really should have read the signs.
Reviews would be much appreciated, thanks :)
