Jump Then Fall
"Grey with Davis in 4201. Avery, Karpman, OR 2. Yang, ER. Karev…," Miranda Bailey walked through the halls of Seattle Grace talking to herself mostly under her breath. She was trying to remember where all of her residents were. They were like little marbles scattered throughout the hospital and she was trying to mentally collect them all. "Karev with T-something. Something with a T. T-t..." Her memory was usually always on point, but it had been a long day. She recounted her list of residents and their assignments. "Karev… T-Tenezeca!" She said with a small fist pump.
Behind her, she heard someone call her name. She knew the voice. It was that of Ben Warren, an anesthesiologist, and one of her colleagues. But, to be fair, he wasn't just any colleague. None of her other colleagues could call her name and put butterflies in her stomach. Miranda smiled to herself. He called her again trying to get her attention. He didn't know that he already had it. She hesitated for a second, debating whether or not she should stop or keep walking. She could act like she hadn't heard him. It was a busy hallway after all. "Dr. Bailey!" Ben called out for a third time. His voice getting louder which meant that he was getting closer. She resisted the urge to look into the screen of her phone to make sure she looked good. He caught up to her and touched her elbow. She stopped moving, his touch semi-paralyzing her. She sighed softly, trying to compose herself and turned to look at him. His brown eyes pierced hers. She remembered a scene much like this one three weeks ago, Valentine's Day to be exact. Ben had tried so hard to get Miranda to notice him all day. Unaware of the fact that she'd been actively ignoring him. He made her so nervous, more nervous than she'd been around a guy in a while. Looking at him made her stomach churn and her cheeks flush. It was an unfamiliar feeling, but one that she was slowly starting to remember. She was developing a crush and that was something she hadn't had in years. It unnerved her. She couldn't be falling for someone while she was still reeling from an ongoing divorce with Tucker, the father of her child and her soon to be ex-husband. And she definitely didn't want to fall for someone at work. She knew how the rumor mill at the hospital worked; everyone seemed to know everyone else's business. And she was proud of the fact that no one knew anything about her personal life unless she was the one to reveal it. But looking at Ben that day had erased all of those thoughts and all she wondered was if he was as nice as he seemed. And were his hands as gentle as they looked…
Urged, quite unsubtly, by her friend and colleague, Arizona Robbins from Peds, she had stopped pretending to be so busy and confessed to Ben: "I can't talk to you." He'd sighed loudly, apologizing for his advances. "You make me nervous…," Miranda continued to ramble on without giving him any room to interject. She had to tell him everything now, on the most romantic day on the calendar, or she wouldn't be able to say it later. As she talked, she watched his face, waiting for him to hightail it in another direction. But he was still there, still interested which confused and intrigued her more than anything. "I like you. That's all. There." She'd finished her blabbing with a wave of her hand. Finally, it was his turn.
"Alright." He'd gotten one word out before she'd jumped back in.
"And so, if you want to go to dinner… fine. I will show up and try to talk."
"How's tomorrow night?" He'd asked quickly with a smile on his face. He really was handsome, standing six-feet with brown skin and a low haircut. If she had a "type," he would definitely be it.
She'd shrugged. "Fine." Her voice was serious. "I might have surgery," she added. She needed him to understand that, outside of being a mother, surgery was her priority and while she liked him, she loved surgery.
"I might join you," he'd said with a slight chuckle. She'd watched him open his mouth as if to say something else. He changed his mind, turned around and was gone. When he was out of sight, Miranda exhaled. She hadn't even realized that she'd been holding her breath. She'd smiled to herself, shaking her head. They were supposed to go out the next night. But it'd never happened. She ended up having surgery that night, (although he wasn't able to join her). And every night that they'd planned a date, something always happened. Sometimes it was a small procedure and she felt bad for cancelling and other times, it was a big surgery, something she couldn't pass up. She wasn't the only one cancelling either. He'd cancelled, too. So it wasn't all on her. Luckily, their line of communication was great. They always called and messaged each other. They'd even exchanged emails a few times. It was nice; although she often wondered if Ben was getting tired of chasing her and trying to fit his schedule into hers. "Miranda?" Ben's voice pulled her from memory lane. She loved when he called her by her first name and she smiled when he did.
"Yes?" She said. His hand was still on her elbow.
"I, uh, want to take you out on Friday." She nodded. They'd had this conversation before. She tried not to smile at him. He raised an eyebrow making her face break. She chuckled a little. "No, seriously, I want to go out with you. To dinner. Not a date in the OR. No more cancelling." She agreed. She was tired of postponing and rescheduling. They'd been trying for what seemed like forever to go out and there was always something in their way. What if he lost interest and stopped trying to pursue her? She didn't want him to stop pursuing her in the hallway or her office or the OR. She really didn't, no matter how much she acted like it. "I want to sit across from you at a nice restaurant where we'll talk and laugh and drink, have food and dessert. And I'll pay, I'll take you home, kiss your cheek and…" His voice trailed off.
"And?" She asked as his hands dropped down to hers. If he thought she was going to be having sex with him on the first date, he was most certainly wrong. His thumbs rubbed her knuckles and the hairs on her body stood up. Miranda waited for his answer.
"Well, then I'd say goodnight and call you when I got home and we'd talk some more." Miranda looked up at him. "I really want to give us a shot, Miranda." He smiled; his teeth bright and his face cool. He meant it. And he wasn't taking any excuses. "We can't do that if we're always putting this on the backburner," he said gesturing between their bodies.
"Fine. Friday," Miranda said twisting her lips. She swallowed and waited for a response.
Ben squeezed her hands. "Good. Don't make any plans."
"I won't," she promised.
"No surgeries, Miranda. No, uh, play dates for Tuck, no classes, no banquets and record all of your TV shows," he told her, his finger wagging in her direction.
"I will be free," she chuckled. He backed away, not letting go of her hands until he had to. On the outside, Miranda remained calm and nonchalant. Inside, she was going absolutely insane. Her first date in over a decade! Her mouth was going dry. She walked toward the Attending locker room. She hoped to find Callie in there. Callie Torres was an Orthopedic Surgeon at the hospital, the wife of Arizona Robbins and one of her best friends. She found the tall, olive-skinned Latina at her locker pulling her long, brown hair into a ponytail.
"Bailey, hey, I know I have Karev today, but can I have Avery instead?"
"Um, sure. Any reason in particular?" Miranda asked. She hoped that Alex Karev, the feistiest resident that she had, hadn't messed up his chances with yet another Attending.
Callie shook her head. "Nothing bad. It's just that Avery and I have worked on Mrs. Tenezeca before."
"Yeah, sure," Miranda said nodding and touching the wooden lockers absentmindedly. "Anything else?"
"You came over here," Callie reminded her. Callie sat down to put on her sneakers.
"Oh, I was… just… you know… coming to say hey."
"'Hey'?" Callie repeated suspiciously.
"Yeah, it's a very popular greeting, you know?" Miranda asked grinning.
"What is with you?" Callie said staring at the shorter doctor. Miranda couldn't help but to smile. She tried to straighten her face. She knew she must have looked ridiculous. Her reputation was one of being serious and tough. Miranda Bailey didn't just go around smiling unless—"Is it the guy?" Miranda twisted her lips to the side and looked up. "It is the guy!" Callie gushed. "He bought you coffee?"
"No," Miranda said waving her friend off. "Think I'd smile like this for coffee?" Callie shrugged. "He asked me out to dinner."
"Haven't you guys made dinner plans like fifty times already?"
Miranda scoffed. "Yeah, well, this time we're serious."
Callie laughed. "Well, then, I'm happy for you."
Miranda looked at her. "Torres…" she said softly while reaching out to touch the other woman's hand. Callie looked up at her sympathetically. "What if I'm not cut out for this? What if I'm no longer patient enough or stupid enough to deal with this crap?"
Callie stood up. "Come here. Come here. Come here." Callie pulled Miranda in for a hug. Miranda moaned and scrunched her face up. "You can do this. You can do this." Miranda sighed deeply. "You can." Callie rubbed Miranda's back and released her.
"Thanks, girl," Miranda said. "I'm still nervous though."
"But it's a good nervous, right?" Miranda nodded reluctantly. Callie laughed. "Girl! It's okay to be nervous."
"It is?"
Callie nodded. "That feeling that you're feeling right now, embrace it."
Miranda shook her head with a wide smile. "Why?"
"Well, there may come a time in five years when you feel like punching him in the guts and you're going to need to remember this feeling so that you don't." The two women laughed and talked a little longer before going back to work.
Miranda tried to keep her mind on her patients and the job she was at the hospital to do instead of thinking about Ben. But no matter what she did, that guy was on her mind. He was the scrub nurse, the guy working at the cart when she bought her sandwich for lunch and the best friend of one of her patients. She just couldn't get him out of her head. That face and that smile seemed to haunt her comically. He was everywhere.
Focused on her career, she managed to get through the week, deftly keeping her Friday night available. She really wanted to go out with Ben. She hadn't known how much until she woke up on Friday morning. Miranda sat up in her bed with the covers wrapped around her waist, rubbing her eyes and grinning like a "Ches cat" like her grandmother used to say. Her smile was so wide and there was only one reason for it. Ben. Their long-awaited date was tonight and she was beyond ecstatic. She would be getting dolled up and dressing in something other than the casual attire she wore to work every day. They would be having dinner. And they would finally get an evening together without scalpels and blood and interruptions. She said a quick prayer and rolled out of bed while making the sign of the cross. She walked to her dresser and pulled out some underwear. A soft knocking sound made her turn in the direction of her bedroom door. She put a smile on her face. This one wasn't about Ben. It was for the one who she loved more than anything or anyone in the world. "Come in, Tuck," she said to her son. The almost four-year old slinked into the room. "Good morning."
"G'morning," he responded. He moved to her and hugged her tightly. She loved his little hugs.
"Did you put your game in your bag like I told you to do last night? For your weekend at your dad's house," she said pulling out a shirt and pair of jeans to wear to work.
"I don't go to his house," Tuck said with a wide grin on his face. He danced around giddily. Tuck was in the Kindergarten, a bit younger than his classmates, but no less smart.
"What? Is that right?" She asked. Tuck nodded. "Can you bring me the calendar, please?"
He laughed and left the room to get it. The calendar was posted in the hallway. It contained all of their important and semi-important life events, Tuck's school and sports schedules. The thin book was scribbled with Miranda's work schedule, on-call nights and the dates of major procedures. It also contained the weekends he spent with Tucker. She and Tucker were going through a divorce and it was soul-straining. And while he would always be in her life (they had the most perfect son), she could not wait to wash her hands of their marriage. Miranda cracked her knuckles as she waited. Tuck brought back the calendar. "See?" He said holding out the calendar.
Miranda scanned the current month. "Oh, bother," she groaned.
"What's wrong, mommy?" She looked into his wide eyes. "Huh?"
"Nothing. I just…" Her voice trailed off. How could she have missed this? It really wasn't Tucker's weekend and not only that, but, now that she was remembering, he was out of town. Damn it, she thought. "Nothing's wrong." The boy smiled, making Miranda's heart melt. He was so adorable, his brown skin matching her own and a smile that made him identical to her. "Go and get dressed and then we'll go downstairs and have breakfast before you get on your bus."
"Okay," Tuck said hugging her again before leaving her room. For her son's sake, she wouldn't outwardly express how disappointed she really was. But while he was gone, she cursed aloud. Miranda sat on the edge of her bed and heard the familiar sound of her phone going off. She picked it up and looked at the name and number centered on the screen. It was Ben. Perfect timing, she thought sarcastically.
"Hello?" She said smoothly.
"Good morning, Dr. Bailey," he said. She could hear the smile on his face. Why was he so into her?
"Same to you, Dr. Warren." She waited for him to speak. He was the one who called; there must have been a reason.
He cleared his throat. "I, uh, just called to say 'hi'."
"Hi," she said sassily. "Look, um, there's…" She wanted to tell him now that there was a little problem with tonight.
He cut her off with a laugh. "Usually we just text in the morning, but I wanted to show you that I'm technologically diverse."
"I can see that."
"I'm not going to ask you if we're still on for tonight. I'm making the assumption that we are and I am a little more than excited," he told her. She felt her heart leap in her chest. He was excited and eventually, at some point, she was going to have to cut him down from his ladder of excitement. "How did you sleep?"
"I slept well. Like I always do."
"That's good."
"A-and… and you?"
"I slept okay, I kinda fell asleep in an awkward position, so I have some knots in my back." They laughed. She noticed that their laughs complimented each other. His was hearty and smooth; hers was higher-pitched and easy.
"That sucks," she said sympathetically. "Need a massage?" The words were out of her mouth before she could stop them. He didn't respond. Maybe he didn't hear me, she thought.
"Is that an offer?" He asked. Was his voice serious? Or was he joking? She couldn't tell.
"N-no. I… There are places you can go… for you to get massages, so you can go to one of those places and get one."
He laughed again. "Oh, damn."
"Excuse me?" Did he want her to give him a massage?
"I'm sorry, Miranda—That wasn't for you. I'm on my way into surgery."
"Oh."
"So, I'll see you tonight?"
"Yes, of course." The lie fell easily from her lips. They said goodbye and Miranda dismissed the call. She continued to sit on her bed and sighed deeply. She hated to lie to Ben, her first lie to him. She looked at the calendar again. Maybe she was reading it incorrectly. She took a minute. Nope. There it was: Tucker going to Nevada; in her handwriting with a star next to the date. She smiled looking at the star. It was a reminder of her date. How was she going to break it to Ben that another one of their dates would have to get cancelled because she hadn't checked her schedule more closely? Her brain popped. Maybe she could find someone to watch Tuck for the night? Maybe she could get in touch with his babysitter or any one of the people Miranda used as a backup when she was in a pinch. Usually, she could rely on Callie or Robbins. Callie was Tuck's godmother and the two of them never minded watching Tuck for a few hours. Miranda made a few phone calls and sent out text messages as she and Tuck made their way out of the house. At every turn, she was politely rejected. Tuck's main babysitter was busy and so were his backups. Torres and Robbins were going out. For a second, she even debated calling her mother and asking her to get on a plane and come to Seattle to watch Tuck. This date was that important. At work, Miranda did her best to avoid everyone, especially Ben. She stayed in her office for most of the day, doing paperwork. She had a plan. She would hideaway all day in her office, emerging only if she was paged, and sneak out of the hospital without anyone noticing. She would pick Tuck up and they'd go home and at some point when Ben called, she'd let him know that she just wouldn't be able to go out with him, letting him down easily; apologizing profusely. Maybe it was fate that she wasn't supposed to go. Maybe they weren't supposed to date at all. While working, her stomach grumbled. She searched her mini-refrigerator for something to snack on and came up empty-handed. Sticking her head out of her office and looking both ways, she stepped out, pulled the door behind her and headed to the cafeteria. She walked briskly, keeping her head down and slowing down only when she came upon Richard Webber, Chief of Surgery, her mentor and one of her good friends.
"Where are you off to in such a hurry?" He asked, his footsteps heavy next to hers.
"Cafeteria," she said glancing up at the six-footer. "You?"
"Oh, then, I might join you," he responded with a chuckle. "We haven't had lunch together in a while." She nodded. "You're always having lunch with Dr. Warren." Miranda blushed and kept moving without saying anything. "Where is Dr. Warren?" The Chief asked.
"Sir," Miranda said with a slight laugh. "I'm just trying to get some lunch before I die of starvation."
"Fine, fine. You don't want to talk about it. Don't want to share your, uh, gossip with me. I understand."
"It's not that… it's just that—"
"Oh! Speak of the devil. Warren! Over here!" Richard said waving Ben over. Miranda looked over at Ben. His smile was wide and his stride long. Ben shook hands with Richard.
"Sir. How are you?" Ben asked.
"Very good. Can't complain," Richard answered.
Ben turned to Miranda and stuffed his hands into the pockets of his lab coat. "Miranda." Her stomach lurched at the sound of her name leaving his lips.
"Benjamin." She watched his jaw shift.
The Chief looked from Miranda to Ben. He coughed, cutting into their private moment. "Bailey, I'm, uh, I'm going to get us some sandwiches and find us a table."
"Sounds good," she said normalizing her voice. "I'll be there… in a second." They watched The Chief walk away.
"He's a cool guy," Ben said smiling.
"Ben," Miranda started. There must have been something in her voice because he looked at her, concerned.
"Yes?" His eyes were widening.
"I…" She hated having to say it in the middle of the cafeteria where it felt like everyone was looking at them. "About our date…"
"You're cancelling on me—again," Ben predicted.
"That's one way of putting it." Ben scratched his face. "I, uh—" She couldn't seem to find the right words. And as if she'd planned it, Miranda's beeper went off saving her. "I have to go. Sorry." She looked past Ben and saw Richard hurrying in her direction. The two General surgeons trotted off. "I wonder what it is."
"I hope it's something good," Richard said. She looked at her mentor. "Nothing fatal, of course, just good. I haven't had surgery in three days."
"That's because you're supposed to be slowing down," Miranda said out of the corner of her mouth.
"Thank you, Adele, Jr." Miranda chuckled as they hustled to the ER bay.
Miranda could say without a doubt that her afternoon was productive after performing surgery on a guy who'd been stabbed by a tree branch. She and The Chief scrubbed out while laughing and recounting the highlights of the surgery. It had been fun and, ultimately, the patient would be okay. The door to the scrub room opened and Ben walked in. "Warren, twice in one day." Ben nodded shortly with a polite smile on his face. "I don't suppose it's me that you're following around." Both Ben and Miranda looked at him.
"Ben, we need to talk," Miranda said speaking first. She lowered her voice trying to keep Richard from hearing her side of their conversation like he wasn't standing two feet away.
"Okay…," Ben replied.
She could feel the eyes of Ben and Richard on her, waiting. She took a deep breath. "I have looked forward to nothing all week, but our date," she said. She tried to hide the nervousness in her voice, but her heart was pounding underneath her scrub top. It echoed in her ears loudly. "But… I can't—I didn't know that Tuck wasn't going to his father's house this weekend. I didn't read the schedule properly. I'm sorry that I'm cancelling again, but there it is. I c-can't read." With her last statement, a smile inched across her face and quickly turned into a giggle. Ben and The Chief joined in.
Ben took a step in Miranda's direction. She saw Richard move awkwardly in the corner and resisted the temptation to laugh at her mentor. Ben was standing in front of the door. "Why didn't you just tell me that?" She didn't answer. "I thought you were blowing me off."
"No!" She said. Her tone was emphatic and truthful. She hoped that Ben understood that. "I just don't have any other options."
"If I may," Richard said jumping into the conversation.
"Sorry, sir, I'm blocking the door." Ben moved even closer to Miranda, giving Richard space to go past them and raising her heart rate. She took a deep breath, closing her eyes temporarily. Even though he'd been working all day, he still smelled good.
"No, it's not that," Richard said with a deep chuckle. "I can, um, watch Tuck for you, Bailey. I mean, the wife and I were planning to have dinner tonight, but we would be more than happy to have little man over to the house. I don't have surgery in the morning and I'm sure Adele wouldn't mind him staying the night." He winked at his mentee.
"N-no, I couldn't ask you to do that, sir." Miranda stammered.
"I don't mind, really," Richard countered.
"You've spend enough time away from Adele, Chief."
"True, but just know that—" He started.
"We can just postpone our date… again." Even as she was saying it, she realized that that wasn't what she wanted. She wanted a night with Ben to talk freely and really get to know him outside of phone calls and text messages. But she also didn't want to burden The Chief with her problems, crossing the lines between professional and personal; although she was sure that line had been blurred years ago. While she debated within herself, both men stared at her waiting for an answer. She turned to Richard. "Can I get a rain check on that offer?"
He nodded. "Of course," he said patting her on the shoulder before walking out of the room.
Ben looked at her. "I know you're thinking that I should have taken him up on his offer, but I don't want Tuck to feel bad."
It was Ben's turn to nod. "Listen, Miranda, I totally understand."
"Good," she said finally.
"So are we still on for tonight?" He asked with a grin.
"You… still want to go out?"
"Yes, definitely." Ben touched her hands, shocking her system. "That's if you're okay with me meeting Tuck. I know you're probably not ready." He was so right about that. The eventual meeting between Tuck and Ben had been on her mind a lot lately even though they'd never had an official date. She knew it would come up and she also knew that she was nervous about it. Tuck meeting Ben meant that her young child might have to really process the fact that his parents were separated and weren't getting back together. Maybe it was too much. "I made reservations at Maggiano's, but I think I have something that Tuck would like much, much better." Ben's face lit up. He was obviously still as excited as he'd been this morning. She smiled, too. He reached up. Miranda thought he was pulling her in for a hug. If he did, it would be their second one. The first one had happened after she'd bumped into him accidentally just a week after she'd told him that she liked him. After apologizing, he'd wrapped his arms around her saying that if she'd wanted a hug; all she had to do was ask for one. She'd shrugged him off, rolled her eyes and kept going wherever she going. And while it seemed juvenile, she was keeping count of every little thing, adding tiny intimacies up and coming to a conclusion about the validity of their—Friendship? Potential relationship? Ben's hands settled on her shoulders. "So?"
She looked into his eyes and all of her doubts about her son and Ben meeting were erased. She prayed that she didn't regret it. "Y-yes."
"More conviction so I actually believe you."
"Yes. Tonight. We'll be ready at…"
"Six thirty," Ben offered.
"Right. We'll be ready at six-thirty."
"Great!" Ben exclaimed pulling her in for a hug. Number two.
When she picked up Tuck from school, she thought of ways of bringing up and explaining Ben. She still hadn't thought of anything to say as her son played with her cell phone, so she pushed it to the back of her head. Over the low music that filled the car from the radio, she heard her phone ringing. "Mommy? Who is 'Bean'?"
"Bean?" Miranda said putting her hand back to grab the phone. The phone stopped ringing. They pulled into their driveway and Miranda parked the car before looking at the missed call. "Oh, 'Ben'."
"Yes, who is 'Ben'?" Her three-year old asked. She looked at him in the rearview mirror. Tuck was the carbon copy of his father; except his eyes. He had Miranda's eyes, big, brown and beautiful.
"B-Ben is a friend of mine. He works at the hospital with me and he wants to take us out for dinner."
"Me, too?"
"Yes, you, too, goofy." Tuck laughed loudly. "So is it okay that mommy's friend takes us out?"
Tuck seemed to think for a second before nodding. She wasn't astonished, but she was very glad that Tuck was open to the idea. Miranda got out of the car, opened the door for him and he scrambled out of his booster seat. She hugged him before they went into the house.
Getting ready, she realized that they didn't have much time before they had to be ready. She helped Tuck get dressed before he lay down on his bed, playing his game. Afterwards, Miranda showered quickly and put on lotion. She still hadn't picked out an outfit to wear, but since they weren't going to the extra-fancy restaurant, she could go casual. Cute casual. She put on her underwear and her heart jumped as she heard the doorbell rang. "Shit!" She said out loud. She threw on her robe, pulling a pair of shorts on underneath it. Getting downstairs, she peeked out of the window next to the door and saw Ben standing there. She took two deep breaths to slow her racing heart before she opened the door. "Hi!" Miranda said with a bright smile.
"Hello, Miranda."
He moved toward her awkwardly and placed a kiss on her cheek. She felt her knees buckle a little and tried to play it off. "Th-thank you." Even though his lips were no longer on her face, she still felt them. She had to actively stop her fingers from touching the spot where he'd kissed her. The first time his lips had touched a part of her body. "Um, come in. Sorry. Please, come in." She tightened her robe around her waist although it was already very secure.
Ben nodded while looking around. "You have a nice home, Miranda." Why did he always have to say her name?
"Thank you. A-as you can see, I am not quite ready, but Tuck is," she spoke quickly and nervously. Miranda gestured at her body, suddenly becoming aware that she was shirtless underneath her robe.
He touched her elbow. "That's okay. I'll wait."
"Oh, good. I'll introduce to my son. Uh, Tuck!"
"Yes!?" He shouted in his squeaky voice from his room. Miranda blushed and didn't respond. Within seconds, Tuck was jetting down the stairs.
He came and stood in front of Miranda. She put her hands on his shoulders. "Tuck, this is—"
"Bean!" Tuck said.
Ben looked confused, but smiled away. "Not, Bean, Tuck. Ben."
"But I like Bean," Tuck said giggling. "It's funny."
"Well, then, call me Bean," Ben said extending his hand to the youngest one. Tuck took his hand and shook it firmly. Miranda began to breathe normally. They were getting along and there were no problems. She really couldn't ask for more.
"So, Bean and Tuck," Miranda said making her son laugh maniacally. "I'm going to go upstairs and finish getting ready. You two can wait in there." She pointed to her right to the large living room. "I will be back shortly."
She watched as the two of them sat down and started talking immediately. In her room, she wondered what she'd been worried about with Tuck meeting Ben and vice versa. Tuck was great. And Ben was great. She inhaled deeply as she tried to empty the anxiousness from her mind. The last time she'd gone on a first date, it had been with Tucker and she hadn't even been a doctor then; she'd just been dreaming of becoming one. They'd gone to the movies to see "My Girl". Even though he'd claimed that he didn't want to see the film, she noticed that he'd had tears in his eyes as the movie progressed. She ended up crying, unabashedly, on his shoulders. She smiled remembering one of the good times in her relationship with Tucker. There never came a time after that when they could watch that movie without crying. The last time she'd gone out on an actual date, she and Tucker had made plans to meet at a restaurant to try and talk about their failing marriage. For her, it was a last shot, her last try at their relationship. She could tell immediately that he wasn't interested. And she had gotten fed up. During dinner, she'd had enough and asked him to move out. He'd tried to protest and tried to pretend like he didn't know what she was talking, but she knew about his emotional affair and she was over their marriage and ready to be happy—without him. Miranda sat down on her bed and debated whether or not she should even go out with Ben while listening to the voices beneath her. From her past experiences, first dates only led to someone getting hurt. And didn't want to risk that happening to her. Or to Ben. Maybe they should just stay in their pre-dating bubble. Eventually one of them would lose interest and there would be a mutual separation. Miranda took a deep breath. If that happened, she would hate it; she would resent everything. Her feelings for Ben were real and something inside of her wanted to see how far they could go. But, boy, was she nervous. She had to shake the mental images of herself tripping in front of Ben or saying something completely ridiculous. Something that would make him think twice about asking her on a second date. Miranda ignored those negative thoughts; even if they turned out to be true, she still wanted to have fun tonight. She pulled out a pair of tight, cuffed, blue jeans that stopped just above her ankles and silky white t-shirt. Maybe she was scared that she'd have to dismantle her relationship with Ben if Tuck didn't like him. That would have been the worst-case scenario. Luckily, everything was going smoothly. Miranda decided on a black blazer and accentuated her casual outfit with a few pieces of jewelry and a pair of three-inch black boots. So focused on the kiss that Ben had planted on her cheek, she didn't even remember how he was dressed, but she was sure that he looked handsome. Thinking about the kiss, were they supposed to kiss at the end of the date? Like, really kiss? There really should be a first date rule book. The only man she'd ever kissed was Tucker. Miranda's heart started to pound. She had to sit down on the bed again. Would Ben be expecting her to kiss him? Was she ready? Maybe it was all too much. Maybe they were moving too quickly. Ben was a good guy. If she explained or even tried to explain what she was thinking, he'd understand. Miranda was just about to go down and tell him all of this when she heard Tuck calling her name from the living room. They were ready and waiting for her. She inhaled and exhaled a few times before she picked up her purse, glanced into the mirror one last time before walking down the stairs. Going to the living room, Ben saw her and stood up.
"Wow, Miranda. You look beautiful," he said making her blush. She looked at him and saw him in a pair of black jeans, a white t-shirt and a red and black plaid shirt on. Even dressed down he looked sexy.
Tuck turned around at the compliment. "You look pretty, mommy."
"Thank you, fellas. Are we ready to go?" Miranda locked the door of her house. She unlocked her car door and grabbed Tuck's booster seat and clipped it into Ben's car. Ben watched her and opened the passenger door after Tuck was buckled in. "Thank you, Ben."
"It's still a first date. I have to pull out all of the stops," he said with a smile. But it wasn't just any smile. It was the kind of smile that she was sure was just for her. The smile showed the entire top row of his teeth, his eyes became thinner and his cheeks rose higher. And it always made her smile. Which explained the smile that was on her own face. As they backed out of her driveway, Ben held her hand. He snuck a look at her as if asking if it was okay that he was doing it. He knew she wanted to take things slowly and seemed to respect that fact and never pushed her. She smiled and glanced out of the window.
"Where are we going?" Tuck asked over the radio and over Miranda's loud thoughts.
She had no clue and waited for Ben to speak. "It's a surprise," Ben said looking at the three-year old through the rearview mirror. Like his mother, Tuck usually had one million questions that Ben would have to answer thus feeding not only the child's curiosity, but hers as well. She waited for him to spout them off, babbling quickly with his little lisp. Silence. She reached up and pulled down the passenger mirror and looked at her son who was dancing to the music. She smiled and put the mirror up. "So, Miranda, how was the rest of your day?"
"It was… entertaining, to say the least. A guy came in with a branch in his stomach!" She said in a low voice. Tuck knew she was a doctor, but she liked to keep the gory stuff from him.
"I heard about that," Ben said mimicking her whisper. "That sounds crazy."
"It was!" Her face lit up as she shorthanded the surgery. She hoped that he wouldn't think that she was nuts talking about surgery so energetically. She stopped speaking, her voice trailing off, leaving her words in mid-air.
"No, don't stop. I love your passion, Miranda," he said as he let go of her hand as they pulled into the parking lot of a restaurant she'd never been to before.
"Where are we?" She asked looking up at the suspicious-looking restaurant.
"Action Burger!" Ben said.
"Action Burger?" Tuck echoed.
"Yeah, it's a really cool restaurant. I saw it online and thought it'd be perfect for us. Especially you, Tuck. Your mom told me you like video games." Tuck's head moved rapidly. "I mean, we can go somewhere else you want?" He looked right at Miranda.
"Well, I guess we're already here," Miranda said firmly. Then she smiled with her eyes to let him know that she was only kidding. The three of them walked into the restaurant. She truthfully wasn't expecting much from the small and dingy place. But she was pleasantly surprised that there was a lot of room in the building. The tables were staggered around the room and the walls were full of arcade games.
"Hi, welcome to Action Burger. Feel free to seat yourselves. Someone will be with you soon," the hostess said gesturing to a few empty tables behind her.
"Thank you," Miranda said. Ben led the way to a table off to the side. Tuck bounced around. She knew that he was trying to be patient before he asked for money. He looked around the restaurant with his mouth open as they sat down.
The waiter came over putting three glasses of water in front of them. She was a Black girl with a head full of curly hair. "Hi, my name is Symone and I will be your server tonight. Have you folks ever been here before?"
Tuck shook his head. "No."
"No? Well, you are in for a treat." Symone smiled as she reached behind her at one of her passing colleagues, took a few menus and handed them out. "You, sir, can choose to eat from the villain or hero menu. And...," her voice trailed off. "Yo, Kay," she called out to another one of her coworkers. "Two drink menus." The person called Kay slid two menus across an empty table to Symone. "And, for the lovely couple, take a look at our drink menu that has been rated in the Top Five Tastiest Beverages in this area for the last three years." Miranda blushed. She knew they must look like a little family: woman, man, child. Her heart did a little dance thinking about it. She looked at Ben to see him looking at her. Her heart sped up a little.
"How do you play games?" Tuck asked, his menu unopened.
"You can cash them in for tokens at one of the machines. Each game is one token or fifty cents."
"Can I, mommy?" Tuck asked, his eyes wider than they usually were.
"Patience, William George," she said. "Look at the menu and see what you want to eat."
"While you're looking through the menus, can I get you guys anything to drink?" Symone asked pulling a pencil from behind her ear.
"Chocolate milkshake, please," Tuck said flipping through the kids' menu.
"I'll have an Uptown," Miranda said handing the drink menu back.
"I'll have one, too," Ben said. "You like Uptowns?" She nodded. It was one of her favorite drinks. It was part lemonade, part iced tea. Some people called it an Arnold Palmer, but in her neighborhood they were called Uptowns and they were delicious. She was shocked that both Symone and Ben knew what she was talking about. Then she remembered that Ben hailed from Chicago.
"Uptowns on deck!" Symone called across the restaurant. "Y'all are from the East Coast?" They nodded. "East Coast is the beast coast," she said high-fiving the both of them. "That's where this restaurant originated from. In New York."
"That's cool," Ben said. Symone nodded and walked away. "So, bud, are you going to be a hero or a villain tonight?" Ben asked taking Miranda's hand and turning to Tuck. She thought about snatching her hand away. Holding hands in the car where her child couldn't see them was one thing; doing it right in front of him was completely different.
"Hero!" Tuck said posing with his fists on his hips. Tuck laughed infectiously. Miranda just smiled and shook her head. Ben's laugh shook the table. When Symone came back, the three of them ordered their food. "Now?"
Miranda laughed and dug into her purse. "I got it," Ben said touching her arm. "It's all on me, Miranda."
"No, I… it's fine. This is not what you planned, so—"
Ben had already gone into his pocket and pulled out a twenty dollar bill. "Here you go, Tuck."
"Thank you, Bean," Tuck said hopping off of the chair. "Come with me?"
She couldn't help but grin as Ben was pulled away by Tuck. "Don't spend it all!" She called after them.
"Spend it all," she heard Ben whisper, encouraging the boy.
She sat and watched her son and her… what? What were they? He wasn't her boyfriend, nor was she his girlfriend. Friends? Ben helped Tuck get some tokens and he made his way back to the table. Before he could sit down, Miranda was saying: "You really didn't have to do that. Do any of this. I know this isn't how you thought our fir-first date would go, but I… you—I hope you understand that I wanted it to be normal, but I'm a mom and nothing's ever… normal and I didn't do this on purpose and I hope you still like me after this."
Ben touched her hand. "Miranda, if you can make yourself believe this, I like you even more. I know you're a mother. That's one of the things I admire about you. Please, don't work yourself up over this. Tuck is enjoying himself and that's the important thing. He's amazing." She nodded. "Are you enjoying yourself?"
"Yeah, I am. Are you?" She asked. She stared into his brown eyes.
"I am having a great time, Miranda."
"Why do you do that?" She said picking up her drink.
"I'm sorry," he said sincerely, pulling his hand back across the table and picking up his own drink. She watched him put it to his lips and thought for a second what it would be like if her lips were the glass. "Wait, do what, Miranda?" His voice woke her up from her mini-daydream.
One side of her mouth curled into a smile. "Call me 'Miranda'." She watched his face contort with confusion. He didn't know what she was talking about. "Any time you say something to me, you always start or end with 'Miranda'." She watched the realization spread across his face and he blushed, hard. Then, she felt her own cheeks getting hot. Why did she even have to mention it? It was such an odd thing to notice.
"I didn't even realize that I was doing it, M—" Ben snapped his mouth shut before he could say her name again. She started to laugh and found that she couldn't stop. Ben joined in. When they'd finished laughing, she looked over at Tuck who was so engrossed in a game that she was sure he'd never played before. She turned her attention back to Ben who reached over and touched her hand again. He couldn't keep his hands off of her. A man hadn't shown noticeable and true interest in her in years, including Tucker. It was a little overwhelming, but Miranda didn't want Ben to stop. When Symone came back with their food, they jumped apart.
"Sorry for interrupting an obviously romantic moment," she said. Miranda gritted her teeth. "We have a Toragon burger with onion rings for you, sir. An action burger with fries for you, ma'am. And for little man, a chicken tender meal with mac and cheese."
"Thank you," Miranda said. Symone asked if they needed anything else.
"No, we're all good," Ben said winking at Miranda.
The waitress walked away and came back a few seconds later with some ketchup and barbecue sauce. "For little man over there."
"Thanks again," Ben told her.
"So, how long have you two been together?" The curly-haired waitress asked suddenly. Ben and Miranda exchanged curious looks. "Fifty years or something like that?" She laughed. Miranda and Ben laughed as well. A water pitcher appeared out of nowhere and she started to refill their glasses.
"We, uh…" Ben started.
"This is our first date," Miranda said slowly.
"You're lying!" Symone said. "I mean, excuse me, but that can't possibly be the truth."
Miranda tried not to burst out into a fit of laughter. "Well, it is. Trust me."
"Kay, come here!" The girl shouted across the restaurant.
Her coworker came over. A white guy with bulging muscles and a cap on backwards. "Guess how long these two have been together?"
"Ten years," he said after taking a glance at them.
"They're on their first date," Symone said knowingly.
"Get the hell out of here," Kay commented while readjusting his hat. "Seriously?"
"Seriously," Ben said. "Now, if you two don't mind…"
"Oh, right. Yeah, go ahead, playa, do your thing," Kay responded. Symone and Miranda looked at each other and rolled their eyes with wide smiles.
Before they started eating, Ben put his hands under his chin and looked at her as she put some of her fries in Tuck's food basket. "What?" She asked, her voice semi-cross when she caught him looking at her. A whole minute passed before he spoke.
"I guess," he started. His voice startled her a little. "I guess I say your name so often because I need to know what I'm up against."
"What do you mean?" She asked dipping a fry into some ketchup. She matched his gaze.
"You're Miranda Bailey. The toughest and most badass and sexiest doctor at Seattle Grace and I don't want to screw this up." She blushed. "And I... saying your name helps remind me of that. The magnitude of this relationship." All of a sudden, Miranda found it hard to swallow. It took a second before she could force the piece of fry that was in her mouth down her throat. She started to speak. Ben beat her to it. "But if it bothers you, Miranda, I will try to stop." He was so earnest.
"It doesn't bother me at all. It was just something I noticed. Actually, I like it. I like when you say my name," she admitted. Ben smiled and picked up an onion ring and bit into it. Tuck came back to the table.
"I'm hungry."
"Your food has been waiting for you, hero," Miranda told him. The three of them laughed and talked, enjoying the rest of their meal. Ben paid more attention to Tuck than he did to Miranda. She didn't mind. She knew that she liked Ben and vice versa; she needed Tuck and Ben to genuinely get along if their relationship was going to go any further. After they finished dinner, they got up to play some more games. Back at the table, they had dessert. Tuck had his own and Miranda and Ben shared one, on the house, courtesy of Symone. As they got ready to leave, Ben paid the tab and left a big tip for Symone. And before they could even get on the highway, Tuck fell asleep.
When they heard the young boy start snoring, Ben said: "I guess tonight was a success."
"I would agree," she said giggling.
"Seriously, Miranda. Tuck is a great kid."
"He is. He really is the brightest part in my life."
Ben looked over at her and smiled. "Do you really think we have the feel of a couple that's been together for a long time?"
She paused before answering. "I think we do…have a certain essence or familiarity with each other that usually comes across with time."
"Is that a yes?" He said trying to get her to clarify her vague statement.
"Yes," she said simply. The two of them continued their conversation as they made their way back to her house. She found that they had a lot in common. The more they talked, the more comfortable she became. Ben turned off the engine of the car and came around and opened her car door. "Still pulling out all of the stops?" She asked.
Ben took her hand and helped her out of the car. "I sure am," he said winking at her.
She went to get Tuck out of the backseat and Ben moved in front of her and effortlessly picked up the exhausted three-year old. Miranda got the booster seat. She put it back into her car and unlocked the door to her house, closing it behind them. "Can you take him upstairs for me?" She asked raising her eyebrows.
"Sure. Y-yeah, of course," Ben responded. "After you."
She walked up the stairs ahead of Ben and thought she felt his eyes on her butt. Miranda's face flushed with blood. She put her hands to her face. She turned on the light in Tuck's room revealing a room full of his favorite cartoon characters. "You can just put him on the bed."
"Okay. Well, I wasn't going to drop my new buddy on the floor," he said sarcastically while laying the boy down.
"Smart ass," she said clenching her jaw.
Tuck didn't rouse as Miranda pulled off his sneakers and put the covers on top of him. She'd undress him later. He followed her down the stairs. In between the door and the living room, Miranda stopped abruptly. Making him crash into her, his chest hitting her back. "Oh, Miranda! My bad." She waved him off. She wouldn't tell him that it felt good to have his body pressed against hers. Her body heated up. "I guess... I'll be going now?" Did she hear a question in his voice? Did he want to stay? She looked up at the clock that was next to the door. It was just about nine-thirty. Should she invite him to stay a little longer? She thought she had some wine in her cabinets and pretzels. Men liked pretzels, right? She bit her lip. Did she want him to stay? Her mind zipped as the two of them stood there looking at each other. He was so handsome. Of course, she wanted him to stay. But how did she ask him to without sounding desperate? "Miranda?" Ben said waving a hand in front of her face.
"Yes, sorry," she said embarrassed. "You don't have to go if you don't have to go. We can sit for a little while in my living room. Have some wine maybe. Talk some more. Maybe watch a movie. I have pretzels." What kind of pickup line was that? I have pretzels. She wanted to slap her forehead.
"I love pretzels," he said smiling.
"Good. Well, you get settled on the c-couch and I'll go and get the… get the stuff."
In the kitchen, she moved quickly finding glasses for the wine and a bowl for the pretzels. She took the stuff into the living room. Her living room had two long sofas, one armchair, a table in the center of the room and a TV mounted on the wall. She took off her blazer and kicked off her boots, scrunching her feet on the carpet before sitting on the opposite side of the long sofa that he was occupying. "Do you want to move a little closer?" He asked, his voice deepening. "You know, so that we can converse better."
She nodded and moved in his direction. He met her halfway. "I like holding your hand, Miranda," he said while picking up her hand.
"I've noticed."
"You notice everything, don't you?" He chuckled lightly and stopped when she didn't join him.
"It's what I was trained to do."
"What made you want to be a surgeon?" He asked her.
"Would it be cliché if I said I wanted to make a difference? Or that I wanted to change lives?" She asked with a small smile.
He nodded. "But I like clichés. They keep the world going 'round." His finger twirled in the air.
"What made you want to be a 'gas man,' Ben Warren?" She asked with a knowing grin. The first time she used that phrase, she'd meant it as an insult. Now, it was a joke between them.
"The money," he said quickly. They laughed loudly. "No, I'm kidding. I wanted to be a surgeon, but something happened and I got sidetracked." His voice softened.
"Can I ask what?"
"You can."
"What happened, Ben?" She asked tightening her grip on his hand.
Ben cleared his throat and rubbed his head with his free hand. "My dad got really sick. I mean, he's okay now. Still sick, but a lot better, you know what I mean?" She nodded. "I had a decision to make and so… I'm an anesthesiologist. Although, I still have dreams of becoming a surgeon."
"You'd make a great surgeon."
"How do you know?" He said cocking his head to the side.
"Two words. Leslie. Wilson." Hearing that name, Ben exhaled and nodded. "In hindsight, you did a good job finding out what the exact problem was." Ben nodded. "Plus, you're quick and cool under pressure. And… you have good hands."
"Thank you, Miranda."
"You're welcome, Ben Warren." They were quiet. Miranda was thrown to find that she didn't mind the silences between them. They weren't awkward. She wasn't racking her brain trying to come up with things to say. She was patient and just let the conversation come as it may. She looked at the man in front of her.
Ben lowered his eyes at her. "You yelled at me."
"I don't know what that means or what you're talking about. When?"
"During that surgery. You yelled at me," he said pulling his hand away, crossing his arms and looking at her as he pouted a little. It took everything she had not to jump all over him. He looked so sexy. So attractive.
"I did not!" She claimed. That was lie. She knew exactly what he was talking about. She'd been scared during the surgery when Leslie had become conscious on her surgical table. "I did not yell, I emphasized."
"Quote: 'What the hell did you do?! Get her back to sleep!'" Ben mimicked her panicked voice perfectly. Blood rushed to her cheeks and she squished up her face, trying not to curse at him. "And that face you're making now—is very similar to the one you made while you yelled at me."
"I already apologized for that."
"Did you now?"
"I told you that it was the closest thing you were gonna get to an apology. Don't make me take it back," she said pursing her lips.
"Fine." He reached for her hand. She was surprised how much she missed holding his hand. They were quiet for a while. He played with her hand, slipping his fingers in between hers, their palms kissing. She gasped softly. This hand-holding position was for lovers. She looked up at him. "Does this make your heart speed up?" He asked softly. She could only nod. "Mine, too."
Miranda's mind went into overdrive as she tried to find something to say. "S-so, um, tell me some more about you, Ben Warren."
"Like what?" He said ignoring her sweaty palm and nervous speech.
"Have you dated anyone recently?"
He shook his head. "I haven't been involved in a long time."
"Why is that?" She asked. Ben reached for the glasses of wine and handed one to Miranda. "Thank you."
"Well! I was in a few short-term relationships, but nothing—none of them that made me feel like this," he said taking a sip of his drink.
"Like what?"
"Like I feel when I talk to you. Even if we're just rattling off the randomness of our days or when you're ignoring me in the hallway because you don't want everyone knowing everything or when you emphasize at me, I still can't help but to smile. You make me smile. And not the modest 'school picture' kind of smile. Naw, it's the 'I'm on the teacups at Disney World for the first time' kind of smile." He grinned at her. "I like talking to you. And working with you and from tonight, I know I like being with you. And hanging out with Tuck." Ben smiled. Miranda brought the glass to her lips; the smell of the wine filled her nostrils. She tasted it and set it back down on the table. There was the silence again. His confession about her made her stomach gyrate. If she didn't know it before, she knew it now—he truly liked her. "So, uh, what about you, Miranda?"
"Me?" Miranda said sitting up and took control of her hand and pulled her legs underneath her body. He nodded. "You know that, technically, uh, legally, I'm still married." Ben's head moved up and down. During some of their lengthy phone conversations, she'd told him this. She didn't want him to be caught off-guard if he heard it from someone else. He told her that he didn't mind as long as there were no issues with Tucker. Which there weren't. While they were uncompromising during their marriage, outside of it, she and Tucker were quite amicable. "And we were married for a long time. He was… my first love. So, really, the only person I've ever dated was Tucker. And Donald Battle in the eighth grade, but I'm going to go out on a limb and say that he doesn't count." Ben and Miranda chuckled. His leg touched hers. He moved it quickly, his face blushing. "But, uh, that's why I want to go so slowly. I haven't done this in years—a lifetime really. And I'm not really sure how it's-it's all supposed to go. But I do know that I'm focused on my child and my career and I don't have much time for games or time to fool around." She searched Ben's face and waited for him to smile politely and gently .excuse himself from her life.
"Miranda, why are you looking at me like that?" She looked away and picked up a pretzel out of the bowl. She didn't really want it, but she needed to do something with her hands; they were restless. "Are you waiting for me run the other way?" He turned in her direction, his leg touching hers again. She waited for him to move it. When he didn't, she relaxed.
"Kind of," she answered honestly.
"Well, I'm not. I take pleasure in your company." She furrowed her eyebrows at him. There was so much she wanted to say. She wanted to tell him that her heart was broken and it wasn't ready to take another hit. She wanted to tell him that it was guaranteed that at some point, she'd try to push him away and he really shouldn't let her. She also wanted to tell him that she thought that they had a natural connection. But all of that could wait. "Miranda?"
"Sorry, yes? What did you say?"
"I was saying that I want to go out with you again."
"Even though it was tough getting to this one?" Miranda asked with a laugh.
"It was worth it, Miranda," Ben told her. He picked up her hand again and pressed it to his lips. The second time his lips had brushed against her skin. "I hope I wasn't being too forward with that kiss earlier and this one." A jolt in her stomach made her wince. He saw her reaction. "Sorry." He dropped her hand and looked at her with an odd expression.
"No," she said picking up his hand. "You just give me butterflies in my stomach." She spoke quickly, aware that she couldn't retract any of what she was saying.
"Butterflies, huh?"
"Yeah."
"Actually, they're more like… like elephants stomping around." Miranda gestured emphatically. Her confession made them laugh. Ben shrugged. "Is that your way of apologizing?" Ben inched a little closer, his bottom lip pulled in his mouth between his beautiful, white teeth. Her eyes got wider and her heartbeat moved rapidly as she wondered what he was going to do.
"Closest thing you're gonna get," he said softly. They looked at each other and cracked up. It was nice to spend time with him. They'd had a lot of conversations over the phone, but nothing compared to sharing moments in-person where she could see his facial expressions and actually look into his eyes and feel him. They talked a little longer and when Miranda looked up and saw that the clock was a little past eleven, she suggested that they wrap up the night. She didn't really want him to go, but she also wanted to leave him wanting more. She walked with him to her front door. "Tonight, was probably the…" He stopped talking.
"Worst first date you ever had?" She offered with a laugh.
"Don't do that. I had—we had a great time. I would do this every weekend if I could. If you'd let me."
"Me, too," she admitted. "Tuck really likes you."
"Oh, man! That little guy is so funny." Miranda agreed. "So, Miranda, can we go out again?"
She thought for a second. Not because she was deciding whether or not to say 'yes' or 'no,' but only because she wanted to make him sweat a little. When the length between his question and her response started to torture even her, she said: "How's next weekend?"
"I can't wait," he said. "I, uh, want to give you something."
"Something like what?" She asked.
He ignored her question: "I want to share a kiss with you." Miranda's eyes widened and her heart burst. She didn't even know how she was still breathing properly. Her worries from earlier were resurfacing. Did he want to kiss her? It was only their first date. Did she want to kiss him? That was a crazy question; of course she wanted to kiss him. They'd had a great time together. And she wanted to have a physical connection with the guy who could be her boyfriend. She wanted to feel his hands caress her body. She wanted to put her lips on his, tasting him. But was the timing right? Wasn't it too early for a first kiss? As her mind raced, Ben leaned in. Miranda held her breath and closed her eyes for a second. "Miranda?"
Her eyes fluttered open as she saw his unfolded hand between their bodies. In the palm of his hand were two silver-wrapped Hershey's kisses. Miranda gasped loudly, a smile spreading across her brown face. "Want to share a kiss?" He asked winking.
She let out a teenage-like giggle as she plucked one out of his hand. "Thank you… for kissing me," she told him holding up the small piece of candy.
Ben offered her the second one and she took it. He took a third one out of his pocket and they each ate one. Standing at the door eating candy, Miranda knew that if anyone had been watching them, they would probably think that she and Ben were nutty. But she thought that the moment was—"Melted. They're a little melted."
"Well, they were pressed against your chest all night." Lucky, she thought. She smiled at the wickedness that crossed her mind.
"I guess I should be going," he said. Ben moved toward her and kissed her cheek. This time, there was no awkwardness in his movements. He was sure. His lips touched her cheek in the exact same place as before. His lips lingered for a brief moment before he pulled back. Number three. "Goodnight, Miranda."
"Goodnight, Ben Warren." Miranda watched as he got into his car and drove away. She locked up her house, making sure that she and Tuck would be safe and secure for the night, and checked on her son. His pants and shirt were off and his arm was hanging off of the bed. She pushed him back onto the bed and kissed his forehead before going to her own room. She pulled off her pants and climbed into bed,, placing the second Hershey's kiss from Ben on the nightstand beside her bed. Miranda fluffed her pillows, pulled the covers up to her neck and took a deep breath. As her eyes started to close, her phone rang. She reached over and picked it up. She looked at the caller. "Hello, Bean."
Miranda heard Ben laughing. It was contagious and she started laughing as well. "You're hilarious."
"Are you at home?"
"Yes, ma'am," he said. She could hear his lips part into a smile. "Are you in bed?"
"I am indeed."
"So am I."
Miranda tried not to bite her lip and said: "So what exactly is your point?"
"Nothing." He chuckled.
"You know what? You are not funny," she said finally catching it on. They finished their short conversation, talking about random things. Miranda was surprised that they still hadn't run out of things to say to each other. She felt a yawn coming on and tried to hide it.
"Tired?" Ben asked, already knowing the answer.
She didn't want to lie. "I am exhausted," she sighed, yawning again.
"Oh yeah?"
"Yeah, I, uh, had a date. A great date, actually."
"With who?" He asked, feigning jealousy.
Miranda smiled. "Eh, just some guy. Call me tomorrow and I promise to tell you all about it."
"Sweet," Ben said. "Then, I will let you go. I'll see you tomorrow."
"Yes!" She said more excitedly than she meant to sound. "I mean, yes."
"Okay. Goodnight, Miranda Bailey."
"Goodnight," she said with her finger over the "end call" button. When she didn't hear the familiar beep of the call ending, she spoke again. "You're supposed to hang up." She smiled. She could tell that he wasn't ready to hang up and neither was she.
"I was waiting for you to say my name," Ben said plainly. He was always so simple and honest. She loved that about him.
"My apologies. Goodnight, Ben Warren." They each disconnected the call. Miranda put her phone on the charger and her smile got bigger. "Today was a good day," she said out loud. It was a bold declaration, but it was also thanks. She'd asked God for a good man and she'd gotten him…maybe. He wasn't really hers yet, but there was plenty of time. So much time. There was time for her to get to know him and time for him to get to know her. And he would do it. He would get to know her because he really wanted to. All she needed to do was open up and let him in, let the barriers around her heart fall. Because she was sure that somebody might want to love her and give her their all. She was also realizing that she had a lot of love to offer as well. And she didn't want to miss out on that. Miranda started to drift off to sleep, a small grin on her face. And if she was right, which she usually was, that person just might be Ben Warren.
-The End-
