What REALLY Goes on onboard Voyager, a PADD story
Author: Kendal Campbell, Kendal_86@hotmail.com
Disclaimers: Well, I don't own nothin but the ideas.
Synopsis: What Paramount and UPN don't show you about the Crew.
Rating: erm, PG:13-ish. Slash implied.
I'm not used to writing this kinda stuff. It's really not a real big 'shipper peice, just focusing on the daily meanderings of the crew....slash IS implied, so if you are like totally squeamish about that kinda stuff, don't bother reading this. I'ts really very innocent, and not really suggesting anything...much.
Anyway, on with the fic!
* * * *
To: Chakotay, Commander Starship Voyager and dead-man
From: A Very Peeved off B'Elanna Torres
Subject: Dead Borg
Time Sent: 09:47 hours
Chakotay, get this Blonde Borg Bimbo away from me now! She is relating stories about her hair- Her HAIR, Chakotay!
I swear to you, I will decapitate her limb by limb if she doesn't get the hell away from me and my 'core!
~B'Elanna
* * * *
To: Janeway, the Best Captain in the Quadrant
From: Chakotay, your overworked XO
Subject: Help!
Time sent: 09:57 hours
Captain…we might have a problem. Seven is down in engineering assaulting B'Elanna with her hair..or something like that. I just...I don't know, Kathryn. Are you sure we should have kept her on the Regeneration Alcove? You know how she is every time she gets finished with a cycle…..I'm beginning to fear for the crew's mental safety.
Please, do something more than lock her in the Cargo Bay this time. She only regenerates contunuosly..which makes problems worse. I don't know, maybe send her to the Doctor for a lecture on….something.
But PLEASE do something so B'Elanna wont have to kill her...I'm rather fond of looking at her...
~Chakotay
====Original Message=====
To: Chakotay, Commander Starship Voyager and dead-man
From: A Very Peeved off B'Elanna Torres
Subject: Dead Borg
Time Sent: 09:47 hours
Chakotay, get this Blonde Borg Bimbo away from me now! She is relating stories
about her hair- Her HAIR, Chakotay!
I swear to you, I will decapitate her limb by limb if she doesn't get the hell away from
me and my 'core!
~B'Elanna
* * * *
To: EMH, The Doctor
From: Janeway, Kathryn, Captain Starship Voyager
Subject: Seven, and other stuff RE: HELP! RE: Dead Borg
Time Sent: 10:14 hours
Doc, Sevens malfunctioning again. Could you get her to stop going on about her hair? Lecture her about her mental and physical safety if she doesn't stop. Or better yet, shave the damn stuff off!
By the way, I have a date tonight…so I'll be down for my monthly a bit later.
See you soon!
=====Original Message=====
To: Janeway, the Best Captain in the Quadrant
From: Chakotay, your overworked XO
Subject: Help! RE: Dead Borg
Time sent: 09:57 hours
Captain, we might have a problem. Seven is down in engineering assaulting B'Elanna
with her hair..or something like that. I just...I don't know, Kathryn. Are you sure we
should have kept her on the Regeneration Alcove? You know how she is every time she
gets finished with a cycle...I'm beginning to fear for the crew's mental safety.
Please, do something more than lock her in the Cargo Bay this time. She only
regenerates contunuosly..which makes problems worse. I don't know, maybe send her
to the Doctor for a lecture on...something.
But PLEASE do something so B'Elanna wont have to kill her...I'm rather fond of
looking at her...
~Chakotay
====Original Message=====
To: Chakotay, Commander Starship Voyager and dead-man
From: A Very Peeved off B'Elanna Torres
Subject: Dead Borg
Time Sent: 09:47 hours
Chakotay, get this Blonde Borg Bimbo away from me now! She is relating stories
about her hair- Her HAIR, Chakotay!
I swear to you, I will decapitate her limb by limb if she doesn't get the hell away from
me and my 'core!
~B'Elanna
* * * *
To: Seven Of Nine, Hair Queen
From: Tom Paris, Resident Fly Boy
Subject: If you would like some company...
Time sent: 10:25 hours
Sev,
I'm going to go to my quarters for lunch...you're more than welcome to join me if you wish..
~Tommy boy
* * * *
To: Lieutenant Tom Paris
From: Seven of Nine, Tertiary Adjunct to Unimatrix Zero-One
Subject: PIG!!!!! RE: If you would like some company...
Time sent: 10:30 hours
OHH!!! I don't know whether to throttle you, or maim you with my Bat'leth! We're OVER, Tom! You Hear me you little weasley pig faced double timing S.O.B.!
~Torres
=====Original Message=====
From: Tom Paris, Resident Fly Boy
Subject: If you would like some company...
Time sent: 10:25 hours
Sev,
I'm going to go to my quarters for lunch...you're more than welcome to join me if
you wish..
~Tommy boy
* * * *
To: B'Elanna Torres
CC: Seven of Nine
From: Tom Paris
Subject: What the hell? RE: PIG!!!!! RE: If you want some company...
Time sent: 10:41 hours
What is going on? B'ella, why do you have Seven's PADD? Seven, what in the name of all that's holy is going on?!?!?!
~A Very confused and innocent Tom Paris
=====Original Message=====
To: Lieutenant Tom Paris
From: Seven of Nine, Tertiary Adjunct to Unimatrix Zero-One
Subject: PIG!!!!! RE: If you want some company...
Time Sent: 10:30 hours
OHH!!! I don't know whether to throttle you, or maim you with my Bat'leth! We're
OVER, Tom! You Hear me you little weasley pig faced double timing S.O.B.
~Torres
=====Original Message=====
From: Tom Paris, Resident Fly Boy
Subject: If you would like some company...
Time sent: 10:25 hours
Sev,
I'm going to go to my quarters for lunch...you're more than welcome to join me if
you wish..
~Tommy boy
* * * *
To: Tom
CC: Seven
From: B'Ellanna
Subject: HEHE!! RE: What the hell? RE: PIG!!!!!
Time Sent: 10:59 hours
Tommy,
You see, it's really quite simple. I was (or so she says) annoying Bee, so she got mad threw me out of Engineering. Wellll, you know how Klingons are and their weird mating...thingies, and I suppose I must've triggered somethting when I hit her back...
Well, to make a long story short, our PADDS got switched...and now we have each others. Funny, ain't it?
Not really as funny as my hair looked this morning.
You see, I got out of my alcove just like normal. Well, I did my log and went to astrometrics to do my work as usual. So this crewman comes in, and immediately starts laughing. I start bouncing up and down, 'cause I wanted to know the joke too, y'know?
He gets this REALLY weird expression on his face, and faints. I dunno. Maybe it was somehting to do with my broken bra.
Anyway, I call the doc and ask him about my hair, 'cause if there's something wrong with it, I can't go about my work!
So I went to sickbay, and he started laughing- stupid mechanical meanie- well, anyway, I had gotten something on my brush when I went to brush it 1000.8 times, as per usual. So it was sticking like...straight up. I swear, I was like that guy...Kirk! Y'know, when he tried to use a tribble as a toupee.
Sorry about that Tom. This is Bee. What she said was true...if not exaggeurated. I'm afraid we're over...she's much better anyway.
See you around, Tom.
~Seven, and the Right-minded B'Elanna
=====Original Message=====
To: B'Elanna Torres
CC: Seven of Nine
From: Tom Paris
Subject: What the hell? RE: PIG!!!!! RE: If you want some company...
Time sent: 10:41 hours
What is going on? B'ella, why do you have Seven's PADD? Seven, what in the name
of all that's holy is going on?!?!?!
~A Very confused and innocent Tom Paris
=====Original Message=====
To: Lieutenant Tom Paris
From: Seven of Nine, Tertiary Adjunct to Unimatrix Zero-One
Subject: PIG!!!!! RE: If you want some company…
Time Sent: 10:30 hours
OHH!!! I don't know whether to throttle you, or maim you with my Bat'leth! We're
OVER, Tom! You Hear me you little weasley pig faced double timing S.O.B.
~Torres
=====Original Message=====
From: Tom Paris, Resident Fly Boy
Subject: If you would like some company…
Time sent: 10:25 hours
Sev,
I'm going to go to my quarters for lunch…..you're more than welcome to join me if
you wish..
~Tommy boy
* * * *
To: Captain Kathryn M. Janeway
CC: Commander Chakotay
From: Lieutenant Commander Tuvok, Head of Security
Subject: Recent acts of violence
Time Sent: 11:15 hours
Captain, Commander,
As usual, I made my regular rounds of the ship. When I neared the Messhall, I found a particuarlary interesting sight: Lieutenants Paris and Torres and Seven of Nine in a fight right inside the doors.
I, of course, stopped them immediately. But I believe that their continued presence within range of each other will be a harm to the ship.
It is my recommendation that they be confined to quarters- logically, seperate ones- until a time specified by you. At this point in time, I shall not let them out without proper security escort.
I await your discision, Captain, Commander.
But I must say one thing, human/klingon mating rituals and rights are are very puzzling...
Lieutenant Commander Tuvok, Cheif of Security, Starship Voyager
* * * *
To: Kat Janeway
From: Harry
Subject: Dinner still on?
Time sent: 11:16
Hello love :)
Is dinner still on tonite? I'm looking forward to it, hun.
By the way, what's all the hubub with Bee, Tom, and Seven? Did Sev pick a fight with Bee and Tom get his arse whopped trying to be macho?
I miss you, darling. See you soon...if the evil captain doesn't make me pull double shifts ;-)
~Harr
* * * *
Hehe that's all folks! I might write some more, I dunno. We'll see how this one hits it off first. Thanks! ~Kendal~
7:27 PM 8/27/01
Author: Kendal Campbell, Kendal_86@hotmail.com
Disclaimers: Well, I don't own nothin but the ideas.
Synopsis: What Paramount and UPN don't show you about the Crew.
Rating: erm, PG:13-ish. Slash implied.
I'm not used to writing this kinda stuff. It's really not a real big 'shipper peice, just focusing on the daily meanderings of the crew....slash IS implied, so if you are like totally squeamish about that kinda stuff, don't bother reading this. I'ts really very innocent, and not really suggesting anything...much.
Anyway, on with the fic!
* * * *
To: Chakotay, Commander Starship Voyager and dead-man
From: A Very Peeved off B'Elanna Torres
Subject: Dead Borg
Time Sent: 09:47 hours
Chakotay, get this Blonde Borg Bimbo away from me now! She is relating stories about her hair- Her HAIR, Chakotay!
I swear to you, I will decapitate her limb by limb if she doesn't get the hell away from me and my 'core!
~B'Elanna
* * * *
To: Janeway, the Best Captain in the Quadrant
From: Chakotay, your overworked XO
Subject: Help!
Time sent: 09:57 hours
Captain…we might have a problem. Seven is down in engineering assaulting B'Elanna with her hair..or something like that. I just...I don't know, Kathryn. Are you sure we should have kept her on the Regeneration Alcove? You know how she is every time she gets finished with a cycle…..I'm beginning to fear for the crew's mental safety.
Please, do something more than lock her in the Cargo Bay this time. She only regenerates contunuosly..which makes problems worse. I don't know, maybe send her to the Doctor for a lecture on….something.
But PLEASE do something so B'Elanna wont have to kill her...I'm rather fond of looking at her...
~Chakotay
====Original Message=====
To: Chakotay, Commander Starship Voyager and dead-man
From: A Very Peeved off B'Elanna Torres
Subject: Dead Borg
Time Sent: 09:47 hours
Chakotay, get this Blonde Borg Bimbo away from me now! She is relating stories
about her hair- Her HAIR, Chakotay!
I swear to you, I will decapitate her limb by limb if she doesn't get the hell away from
me and my 'core!
~B'Elanna
* * * *
To: EMH, The Doctor
From: Janeway, Kathryn, Captain Starship Voyager
Subject: Seven, and other stuff RE: HELP! RE: Dead Borg
Time Sent: 10:14 hours
Doc, Sevens malfunctioning again. Could you get her to stop going on about her hair? Lecture her about her mental and physical safety if she doesn't stop. Or better yet, shave the damn stuff off!
By the way, I have a date tonight…so I'll be down for my monthly a bit later.
See you soon!
=====Original Message=====
To: Janeway, the Best Captain in the Quadrant
From: Chakotay, your overworked XO
Subject: Help! RE: Dead Borg
Time sent: 09:57 hours
Captain, we might have a problem. Seven is down in engineering assaulting B'Elanna
with her hair..or something like that. I just...I don't know, Kathryn. Are you sure we
should have kept her on the Regeneration Alcove? You know how she is every time she
gets finished with a cycle...I'm beginning to fear for the crew's mental safety.
Please, do something more than lock her in the Cargo Bay this time. She only
regenerates contunuosly..which makes problems worse. I don't know, maybe send her
to the Doctor for a lecture on...something.
But PLEASE do something so B'Elanna wont have to kill her...I'm rather fond of
looking at her...
~Chakotay
====Original Message=====
To: Chakotay, Commander Starship Voyager and dead-man
From: A Very Peeved off B'Elanna Torres
Subject: Dead Borg
Time Sent: 09:47 hours
Chakotay, get this Blonde Borg Bimbo away from me now! She is relating stories
about her hair- Her HAIR, Chakotay!
I swear to you, I will decapitate her limb by limb if she doesn't get the hell away from
me and my 'core!
~B'Elanna
* * * *
To: Seven Of Nine, Hair Queen
From: Tom Paris, Resident Fly Boy
Subject: If you would like some company...
Time sent: 10:25 hours
Sev,
I'm going to go to my quarters for lunch...you're more than welcome to join me if you wish..
~Tommy boy
* * * *
To: Lieutenant Tom Paris
From: Seven of Nine, Tertiary Adjunct to Unimatrix Zero-One
Subject: PIG!!!!! RE: If you would like some company...
Time sent: 10:30 hours
OHH!!! I don't know whether to throttle you, or maim you with my Bat'leth! We're OVER, Tom! You Hear me you little weasley pig faced double timing S.O.B.!
~Torres
=====Original Message=====
From: Tom Paris, Resident Fly Boy
Subject: If you would like some company...
Time sent: 10:25 hours
Sev,
I'm going to go to my quarters for lunch...you're more than welcome to join me if
you wish..
~Tommy boy
* * * *
To: B'Elanna Torres
CC: Seven of Nine
From: Tom Paris
Subject: What the hell? RE: PIG!!!!! RE: If you want some company...
Time sent: 10:41 hours
What is going on? B'ella, why do you have Seven's PADD? Seven, what in the name of all that's holy is going on?!?!?!
~A Very confused and innocent Tom Paris
=====Original Message=====
To: Lieutenant Tom Paris
From: Seven of Nine, Tertiary Adjunct to Unimatrix Zero-One
Subject: PIG!!!!! RE: If you want some company...
Time Sent: 10:30 hours
OHH!!! I don't know whether to throttle you, or maim you with my Bat'leth! We're
OVER, Tom! You Hear me you little weasley pig faced double timing S.O.B.
~Torres
=====Original Message=====
From: Tom Paris, Resident Fly Boy
Subject: If you would like some company...
Time sent: 10:25 hours
Sev,
I'm going to go to my quarters for lunch...you're more than welcome to join me if
you wish..
~Tommy boy
* * * *
To: Tom
CC: Seven
From: B'Ellanna
Subject: HEHE!! RE: What the hell? RE: PIG!!!!!
Time Sent: 10:59 hours
Tommy,
You see, it's really quite simple. I was (or so she says) annoying Bee, so she got mad threw me out of Engineering. Wellll, you know how Klingons are and their weird mating...thingies, and I suppose I must've triggered somethting when I hit her back...
Well, to make a long story short, our PADDS got switched...and now we have each others. Funny, ain't it?
Not really as funny as my hair looked this morning.
You see, I got out of my alcove just like normal. Well, I did my log and went to astrometrics to do my work as usual. So this crewman comes in, and immediately starts laughing. I start bouncing up and down, 'cause I wanted to know the joke too, y'know?
He gets this REALLY weird expression on his face, and faints. I dunno. Maybe it was somehting to do with my broken bra.
Anyway, I call the doc and ask him about my hair, 'cause if there's something wrong with it, I can't go about my work!
So I went to sickbay, and he started laughing- stupid mechanical meanie- well, anyway, I had gotten something on my brush when I went to brush it 1000.8 times, as per usual. So it was sticking like...straight up. I swear, I was like that guy...Kirk! Y'know, when he tried to use a tribble as a toupee.
Sorry about that Tom. This is Bee. What she said was true...if not exaggeurated. I'm afraid we're over...she's much better anyway.
See you around, Tom.
~Seven, and the Right-minded B'Elanna
=====Original Message=====
To: B'Elanna Torres
CC: Seven of Nine
From: Tom Paris
Subject: What the hell? RE: PIG!!!!! RE: If you want some company...
Time sent: 10:41 hours
What is going on? B'ella, why do you have Seven's PADD? Seven, what in the name
of all that's holy is going on?!?!?!
~A Very confused and innocent Tom Paris
=====Original Message=====
To: Lieutenant Tom Paris
From: Seven of Nine, Tertiary Adjunct to Unimatrix Zero-One
Subject: PIG!!!!! RE: If you want some company…
Time Sent: 10:30 hours
OHH!!! I don't know whether to throttle you, or maim you with my Bat'leth! We're
OVER, Tom! You Hear me you little weasley pig faced double timing S.O.B.
~Torres
=====Original Message=====
From: Tom Paris, Resident Fly Boy
Subject: If you would like some company…
Time sent: 10:25 hours
Sev,
I'm going to go to my quarters for lunch…..you're more than welcome to join me if
you wish..
~Tommy boy
* * * *
To: Captain Kathryn M. Janeway
CC: Commander Chakotay
From: Lieutenant Commander Tuvok, Head of Security
Subject: Recent acts of violence
Time Sent: 11:15 hours
Captain, Commander,
As usual, I made my regular rounds of the ship. When I neared the Messhall, I found a particuarlary interesting sight: Lieutenants Paris and Torres and Seven of Nine in a fight right inside the doors.
I, of course, stopped them immediately. But I believe that their continued presence within range of each other will be a harm to the ship.
It is my recommendation that they be confined to quarters- logically, seperate ones- until a time specified by you. At this point in time, I shall not let them out without proper security escort.
I await your discision, Captain, Commander.
But I must say one thing, human/klingon mating rituals and rights are are very puzzling...
Lieutenant Commander Tuvok, Cheif of Security, Starship Voyager
* * * *
To: Kat Janeway
From: Harry
Subject: Dinner still on?
Time sent: 11:16
Hello love :)
Is dinner still on tonite? I'm looking forward to it, hun.
By the way, what's all the hubub with Bee, Tom, and Seven? Did Sev pick a fight with Bee and Tom get his arse whopped trying to be macho?
I miss you, darling. See you soon...if the evil captain doesn't make me pull double shifts ;-)
~Harr
* * * *
Hehe that's all folks! I might write some more, I dunno. We'll see how this one hits it off first. Thanks! ~Kendal~
7:27 PM 8/27/01
