Hello. This idea has been plaguing me for the last couple of days. It was supposed to be a one-shot but it was just too long. Maybe this time, the ending will come out to how I want it to. I'll try to update quickly but no promises (since I just break them anyways lol)
Just as a warning, there is light shounen-ai in this fic but it's more of a...pure/innocent love if anything else.
Disclaimer: I don't own Vocaloid in any way, shape of form. Also, the "song" is called Clover from the manga Clover by Clamp. So I don't own that either.
~0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o~
I wish for happiness.
I seek happiness.
To find happiness with you.
To be your happiness.
Nestled against the long green grass, a boy of sixteen looked up to the sky. Digging his bare toes into the ground, his right ankle burned ever so slightly with the movement. Paying no attention to the old but persistent pain, he stretched a hand out towards the impossibly blue sky. The sleeve of his navy blue coat slid down to his elbow, revealing the pure white of his shirt that shined brightly off the sun that glinted against the enforced Plexiglass ceiling. Just once, he wanted to know what it was like to live outside of the sanctuary, or the birdcage as some guards called it. He wanted to feel a real breeze on his skin, not the artificial stuff that filled the dome he lived in. But more than anything else, he wanted to see the ocean.
According to Galaco, the ocean was very beautiful. Translucent and crystal blue, it was a body of water that stretched for miles and miles, farther than the eye could see. He wanted to see it so bad. He wanted to touch it, feel it, smell it, taste it. The desire burned so steadily in his chest, it almost hurt.
The ocean was important. He didn't know why, but the ocean was unbearably important. Maybe it had to do something with his past. Maybe it had to do something with the things he couldn't remember. He tried asking the scientists once. They ignored him. He tried asking Galaco. She said she didn't have access to information like that.
And so, he was left to wonder. Clutching his precious sailor's hat to his chest, the lonely boy dreamed of the ocean he only knew from stories. Maybe one day, his wish would come true.
I wish for happiness.
I seek happiness.
So please
Take me
Someplace far away
Somewhere far from here
Leaning against the balcony railing, a man of nineteen looked up to the sky.
Leaning lazily against the palms of his hands, his long purple hair danced with the passing wind. Watching the clouds pass by, he considered heading down to the beach again.
The man loved the beach. And at the same time, he hated it with all of his being. With his toes in the hot sand and the ocean breeze filling his lungs, he felt a joy so big that it was unexplainable. Rushing through his veins and filling his heart, the beach was, in a way, paradise.
But at the same time, it frustrated him to no end. Every time he went to the beach, he was forced to remember that something was missing in his life. Someone precious. Someone important. But he didn't know who that someone was. And that bothered him to no end.
He tried so many times to explain the feeling to Luka. To express his joy. To express his pain. But she never seemed to understand, try as he might. So he gave up. It was as simple as that.
Reveling in the silence that surrounded him, the man tried once again to remember that one person that just always seemed to be missing. But it was no use. Angrily scratching his head, the man closed his eyes and sighed. Maybe one day he would remember.
Take me away
Take me somewhere far from here
Take me away
Make me happy
From the distance, the boy picked up the sound of the gates opening and closing. Assuming it to be Galaco with his lunch, the boy pushed himself up from the comforts of the ground. Rolling out his shoulders and stretching his arms, the boy casted a final glace to the unreachable sky. Straightening out his black knee length shorts and long coat, he frowned at the white shirt that never managed to stay fully tucked in.
Bending over to pick his white and navy sailor's hat, he fondly dusted off any dirt off the soft material. Flexing his weak knee, he secured the hat on his head. As his blonde hair settled over the bandage of his damaged right eye, the boy remembered the word the assistant used to describe his hair color. Butterscotch. Apparently, it was some sort of candy. According to the girl, it tasted very yummy. Too bad he would never know.
Pursing his lips together, the boy whistled, gentle and sweet. Almost immediately, a yellow and black bird settled on his outstretched fingertip. Nuzzling the bird affectionately against his cheek, the two set off towards the gazebo where their meals where usually held.
Settling into his chair, the young assistant smiled in greeting.
"Good afternoon Oliver." She glanced at the bird. "James."
"Hi Galaco."
Setting down his approved meal in front of him, Oliver couldn't help but wonder how the girl managed to perfectly….dye her hair so many colors. The boy found it very beautiful to look at but at the same time, unnecessarily complicated. But the boy liked Galaco. Besides James, she was pretty much his only friend. So he never called her out on it.
Eating in silence, the only sounds in the dome were Oliver's utensils scraping across his plate and James pecking at his bird food. Swallowing the thick and bland mush called 'food', Oliver imagined what it would be like to eat real food. Food like in Galaco's stories. Rice, lobster, soup, juicy fruits, crunchy nuts and all kinds of fun things. Looking down at his grey and undefined meal, Oliver couldn't help feeling jealous of the life Galaco lived outside of the sanctuary. But he would never admit that. Not out loud.
Wiping his lips with a napkin, Oliver nodded to Galaco, letting her know that he was done with his meal. Gathering up the dirty plates, Galaco took out the standard set of medical instruments from her cart. Untying the golden ribbon to his coat, Oliver let the material slide off his shoulders and arms. Leaving the coat to pool at his waist, he rolled back the sleeves of his shirt to his forearms. He knew the drill.
Silently enduring the multiple injections to the insides of his elbows, Galaco asked the usual set of questions.
"How does your ankle feel?"
"How does your knee feel?"
"What about your eye?"
"Is anything bothering you?"
"Did you remember anything from your past?"
And just like he did every day, Oliver answered,
"Fine."
"Fine."
"Fine."
"Nothing."
"No."
Watching Galaco change the bandages on his ankle and knee, Oliver wondered if there ever would be a day when he could say something different. It didn't have to be important. It didn't have to be life-changing. Just something that'd break up the monotony of his everyday life.
Getting off of her knees, Galaco straightened out her galaxy inspired dress and smiled sadly at the boy in front of her. Staring with a single honey colored eye, he watched the girl set his hat on the table and unwrap the bandage surrounding his right eye. Grabbing a particularly long needle, she set a hand on his chin to steady herself and inserted the injection in the unseeing eye.
Screaming out at the fire that burned from his eye, the boy whimpered at the white hot pain that threatened to devour his sanity. Gasping out in short breaths, tears rolled from both eyes, staining his cheeks. Grabbing on to Galaco's white lab coat with clenched fingers curled tight, the boy struggled to stay conscious for the required amount of time. Feeling Galaco's soothing hand on his back and hearing James chirp from the top of his head, Oliver desperately focused on the two sensations, his lifelines.
Feeling the pain recede in subtle waves, he vaguely felt the assistant scoop up his trembling body. Settling into the comforting warmth, the boy closed his eyes so he wouldn't have to see the blurred and deformed shapes that danced past his sight. Placed gently on the fluffy white bed, Oliver latched on to Galaco's receding hand with practiced reflexes.
Unseeing honey eyes searching for dark orange, the boy begged, quietly, weakly, "Galaco….tell me a story?"
Pitying the young and broken boy curled up on the gigantic white bed, Galaco complied, as she always did. Settling by his side, she pulled his head on her lap and told him stories of the world outside the birdcage. Even though the act was 'extremely' unadvised by her superiors, the girl stubbornly continued to give the boy hope. She would keep his heart alive at the risk of hers.
An unbreakable spell
A never ending kiss
An endless dream
Eternal happiness
Please take me away
"Gakupo, it's getting late."
Leaning against the windowsill leading out to the balcony, Luka Megurine looked out to her boyfriend outlined by the setting sun. Washed over with colors of red, orange and gold, Luka couldn't help but compare her boyfriend to a lost child, hopelessly frustrated and unbearably insecure.
She wanted to help him. She wanted to help him so much. Problem was, she didn't know how. No matter how much she tried, she couldn't make sense of the emotions Gakupo tried to explain to her. They were too vague, too big, too undefined, the words unclear even to him. And after some time, the man gave up trying.
Sending out a quick prayer to God, she crossed the windowsill. Padding barefoot across the concrete, she wrapped her long arms around Gakupo's waist, finding comfort in his warmth. Pressing her bare legs against his jeans, the long shirt she was wearing fluttered along with her long pink hair. Resting her cheek against his back, Luka whispered, "Come inside Gakupo. I made dinner."
After a moment of silence, the violet haired man patted his lover's delicate hands with his large ones before turning around and smiling. Kissing her on the forehead and again on the lips, the tall man gripped her hand tight and allowed himself to be led back inside where dinner was waiting.
Casting a final glance towards the bleeding sky, he stepped through the windowsill and slid it locked behind him. Sitting down at the table set for two, Gakupo shared a dinner of spaghetti and salami with the woman he loved.
He had met Luka three years ago when he accidentally crashed into her on the bus. Their love was a fast and furious one, even with a seven year age gap. His parents never really accepted his relationship with her. But that didn't matter to him. His love for the pink haired beauty was stronger than the need for his parent's approval and if that meant 'disappointing' them, then so be it.
Every moment spent with Luka was beautiful and happy. No. That would be a lie but the joy the woman gave him was enough at times to make him believe otherwise. Her melodious voice. The way she laughed. The feisty way she'd put up a fight. Her constant use of sarcasm. He valued every aspect of her. He loved it all.
But if he was to be really honest with himself, he would admit that sometimes, it just wasn't enough. If he really wanted to be honest, he'd admit that secretly, deep in his heart, he intensely yearned for the person whose face or name he couldn't remember.
But he would never be honest with himself. He loved Luka too much to hurt her in such a way. He would keep quiet if it was the last thing he did.
That night, with Luka wrapped up tight in his arms, Gakupo dreamed. He dreamed of a little boy with butterscotch hair and honey eyes. He dreamed of the ocean and small clasped hands. He dreamed of infinite possibilities. He dreamed of a song.
The next morning, he forgot everything. Not a single moment remained in his mind. But it didn't matter. Because that morning, he woke up happier than he had in years.
The birds sing a song
In a foreign tongue
In a place where wings are not enough
Perched up high in a tree, Oliver hugged a branch stretched across the expanse of his chest. Small fingers wrapping around the rough bark, the boy smiled happily to himself.
For the first time in years, he had a dream! A happy dream! A wonderful dream!
From a nearby tree, James chirped at him, eager to know of his happiness. But as much as Oliver loved the yellow and black bird, he couldn't bring himself to fully trust it. He was no idiot. He knew the true purpose of the bird. He knew that the bird was not really a bird but the latest killdoll. He knew the bird existed solely for his 'protection'. The AI was programmed to eliminate any unauthorized intruder that came his way without mercy. The outside world could never touch Oliver. The scientists would make sure of it. And for those reasons, he knew not to trust the tiny machine. For as much as he loved it, he knew it would record every word he spoke.
So he kept his dream to himself. His wonderful, glorious, dream. Stroking the bird with a gentle fingertip, he sighed happily to himself.
He had dreamed of a young boy with beautifully long hair. With violet hair and eyes, he was beautiful in the way that Oliver knew he was 'cute'. In his dream, the boy clasped his hand tight. In the dream, the boy took him on adventures to wonderful places. Together, under thick blankets, they whispered about the ocean and the wonders hidden in it. And in a meadow where tiny flowers bloomed, the boy taught him a song. A beautiful song. A sad song.
Fingering the golden embroidered dal segno on the lower right corner of the top flap of his coat, he closed his eyes and brought the song to memory. Listening to the lovely baritone replaying in his head, the lonely boy wondered if his dream was actually a memory. He hoped it was.
Hugging his tree branch affectionately, his short legs dangled high up off the ground. Humming the tune to himself, Oliver wondered if it would be ok to admit that he actually remembered something about his past to Galaco.
Thinking about it for a moment, he eventually decided against it. Galaco would tell the scientists. It was her job. Oliver didn't like the scientists. They did cruel and painful things to him. They kept him locked up from the rest of the world. He would not trust the scientists with the dreams he held dear. He did not want to give them a reason to be interested in him.
Hugging his tree branch even tighter, the bark scraped against his long coat. The sun glinted through the leaves and shined across the golden embroidery on his coat and shorts. Encased in the heavenly light, Oliver felt his defenses falling.
Opening his lips, he let the song escape past his lips. His voice was different than the other boy's. His voice was higher pitched and he couldn't pronounce the words just right. But it was close enough.
Filling up the dome with his beautiful voice, the outside guards would later recall the voice to be 'holier than the angels'.
Filled with unnamed hope and happiness, the boy sang and sang. Singing of desires too close to his own, he lost all sense of time. And for the first time in years, it felt as if he wasn't alone.
A place
Not reachable alone
Hanging out in a shadowy corner on the college grounds, Gakupo spoke casually with his two friends Kaito and Len. Waiting around until their next class started, his good mood, though well disguised, was easily identified by the two men. Multitasking between eating a banana and folding multiple paper airplanes, the usually cheery blonde kept sneaking glances at his face in the most obvious way.
Snorting at his friend's indirect interrogation, Kaito took a drag off of his cigarette and lazily blew the smoke back into the air. Running his hand through his perfectly disheveled hair, the blue haired beauty raised an eyebrow at Gakupo and said, "Well, we're waiting. Are you gonna spill or not?"
Smiling wryly to himself, Gakupo asked, "Can I choose 'or not'?"
With his mouth full of banana, Len replied with a muffled, "No."
Nodding in agreement, Kaito brought the cigarette to his lips and stared at his friend meaningfully.
Groaning with semi-frustration, Gakupo leaned back in his chair and eventually admitted, "There's really not much to say. All I can say is that I had a good dream last night."
Perking up with interest, Len asked, "What kind of dream?"
Smirking suggestively, Kaito added, "Was it a fun dream? Did it involve a certain pink haired hottie that we all know and love?"
Waving his hand dismissively in Kaito's direction, he replied, "No….Well at least…I don't think it was. I don't exactly remember it."
Unsatisfied with the response, Len tried to continue the obviously hanging sentence. "But…?"
Giving in, Gakupo went on to say, "But I think it had to do with that person."
"The one you can't remember?"
"….Yeah."
Things went silent after that. It wasn't an awkward silence but a comfortable one. Kaito and Len knew how important that person was to Gakupo. Even though the violet haired man tried to deny the unknown and mysterious presence over the years, they've always known. It was simply the way their friendship worked. Just like he knew their secrets, they knew his.
But more than anything else, they knew better than to take the dream lightly. Something was changing. Dreams did not come easily to Gakupo. But whether it was a good or bad omen, it was still too early to tell. After all, love was never an easy thing, especially when the other party involved was practically faceless.
Running out of time, Len mounted and stood on the table, like he normally did. Waiting patiently for the right breeze, the blonde gently and lovingly cradled the paper airplanes in his arms. Sensing a burst of air, the blonde threw all the planes into the air. Watching his creations take flight, he smiled gently and prayed.
"Len." The owner of the voice stood up. Taking a final drag, he crushed the cigarette against the table and gathered his things.
"Yes Kaito?"
Meeting his eyes with the smaller blonde, he seriously asked, "Did you get a response yet?"
Hopping down from the table, the blonde sadly shook his head. "No. Not yet. But I'm sure that if I keep trying, she'll answer back. Eventually. After all, Rinny could never stay mad at me for long."
Looking up to the sky, Gakupo wished the best for his heartbroken and traumatized friend. Standing up to gather his things as well, he paused as he heard the familiar tune of a song in the air. Pausing to get a better sense of the distant sound, he got the vague sense that someone was calling out to him.
"Hey Gakupo. You coming?"
Clearing his thoughts, Gakupo pulled his backpack onto his shoulder and quickly followed his two friends to class.
So please
Take me
Somewhere far from here
"Oliver."
"Oliver!"
"OLIVER!"
Looking out dazed from the leaves, Oliver ended his song midway through. Swaying dangerously, James chirped frantically, worried for the honey eyed boy.
"Hmmmm?"
From the ground, Galaco called up to the small boy. Wringing her hands, she wore a strained smile on her face. "Oliver, could you come down from the tree please...I...I need to talk to you."
Staring at the young assistant with a half-lidded eye, the boy unconsciously gripped the branch in front of him. Leaning sleepily against the branch, he silently shook his head no. He would not come down from the tree. He wasn't really sure what it was but there was something...off about the girl. And even though she was his precious friend, he knew that in that exact moment, he couldn't trust her.
Trying again, the girl called up. "Oliver, please! It's really important!"
Frowning, he responded with a horse voice. "Can't you talk to me from down there?"
Clenching her hands harder, she shook her head. The act itself seemed...sad and ...resigned. He didn't like it. He would stay up in the tree. "Oliver...It...It has to be face to face."
"No." Firm and resolute, the exhausted boy denied the desperate and suspicious request. He was safe in the tree. Several feet up in the sky, Oliver knew that the branch he was sitting on was too high for Galaco to manage.
Biting her lip, Galaco whispered into the communication device lodged in her ear. "He won't come down."
Looking up into the tree where the small boy hid, she held down her dress as a huge burst of wind tore through the birdcage. Shivering at the intensity, her hair lifted up violently behind her. Unnaturally directed towards the tree Oliver hid in, the leaves shook and trembled. Hugging the trunk of the tree in fear, small branches and twigs rained around him. As his coat snapped dangerously against his body, the boy clenched his eye shut to protect it from the debris in the air. And then he felt it. As his precious sailor's hat lifted from the top of his head, Oliver shot an arm out and scrambled to grab it. Snapping his hand out frantically, the boy tried as best as he could to catch the fly away hat without letting go of the tree. Escaping out of his reach, the boy was forced to make a decision - save his hat or stay safe.
He chose his hat without a second thought.
Leaping out of the tree, the boy caught the cap and cradled it in his arms. High in the sky, his eyes momentarily met Galaco's. The sadness stretched between them both. Landing gracefully on the balls of his feet, the boy crumpled as his ankle and knee gave out under his weight. Curled up against the grass, he hugged his hat against his chest and looked up at Galaco, hurt reflected in his eye. "You did that on purpose."
Unable to meet his eye, she didn't confirm the statement. But she didn't deny it either. "Oliver...that song...Where did you learn it from?"
Stroking his hat, the boy stayed silent. He would not play this game. He would not walk into the trap of the scientists. He already did that once. He didn't want to do it again.
Sighing deeply, the girl dropped to her haunches and hung her head down. "Oliver...did you remember something from your past?"
A heavy and tense silence settled between the two. Staring at James who hopped a few inches away, Oliver admitted, "No." It wasn't the truth but it wasn't a lie either. She asked about a memory. He learned the song in a dream. It would have to do.
Unconvinced, the girl accepted the answer, refusing to press further. Reaching out to rub Oliver's head, she clutched the hidden devices hidden in her lab coat pocket. Meeting his gaze, the girl regretfully whispered, "I'm sorry." Slapping the strange device of the boy's forehead, she quickly activated the control before the boy could even think to resist. Honey eye rolling back, Oliver spasmed with the shock to his system. After three minutes, the girl gently peeled the device off of his forehead. Slipping it back into her pocket, she picked up the boy and walked over to his bed.
Blinking his eyes with a dazed look on his face, the boy looked back up at Galaco. Fragile trust shining in his eye once again, he mumbled, "W-what's...going...on?"
Pressing a kiss to his forehead, right where the device had just been, she lied and said, "You fell out of the tree and hit your head. But don't worry. You're fine. You just need to sleep for a bit."
Nodding his head slowly, he fell back into the fluffy white bed. Easing his eyes closed, he couldn't help but feel as if he forgot something very important.
To find happiness with you.
To be your happiness.
Take me away
I wish for happiness
That night, Gakupo dreamed again.
"Gakupo! Gakuuuuppppoooo!" Running towards him at full speed, a small _ with _ colored eyes and _ hair screamed his name from the distance. Clutching a large and heavy looking item in _ thin arms, a sense of enthusiasm and excitement surrounded the young child. Slamming into his chest, Gakupo gasped out with a loss of breath. Laughing airily at the small _ bouncing in place, he hugged the child in greeting and rubbed his hand over _ head.
Big eyes shining brightly, the _ yelled out, "Look Gakupo! Look! LOOOOKKK!" Lifting the heavy item from between their pressed bodies, the _ practically shoved the mystery item in Gakupo's face. Taking a step back to get a better look at the item, he quickly realized that it was a book, old and worn, the pages yellowed with age. Clutching the book tightly with small hands, the _ practically twirled in place. "Isn't it wonderful?"
Quirking an eyebrow at his friend, Gakupo said, "I don't get it. What's so exciting about a book?"
Unperturbed by the question, the _ simply smiled wider and grabbed onto the older's hand. Leading him to a nearby bench, _ settled the book between to two of them. Leaning in conspiratorially, _ whispered, "Don't tell anyone...but I snuck it out of Grandpa's room."
Biting back a smile, a laugh slipped through his lips. "Jeez, _. Why'd you do that?"
Throwing _ hands up to the sky, the child eagerly proclaimed, "Because it's about the ocean!" Flipping the book open, _ started to point out everything that excited _. "See! See! Look! Isn't it so pretty! It's so blue! Apparently, the ocean overs seventy one percent of the earth...and..and...it contains ninety seven percent of the world's water and can you believe it!? More than ninety five percent of it remains unexplored! Isn't that amazing! The ocean is SOOOOOO COOL! And look! ..." Rambling on and on about the ocean, the young _ looked so happy, Gakupo didn't have the heart to stop him, even though he wasn't really all that interested. Looking through the book for hours, the sun settled behind their backs.
Looking up at the darkening sky, _'s face drew up in worry. "Oh no! I have to get home before Grandpa comes back! I have to hurry!" Slamming the book shut, _ carried his new treasure in his arms and waved goodbye. But before _ could get anywhere, _ was yanked by the sudden grip on _ hand.
"Wait! I...I have something to give you!" Pulling on _ hand, Gakupo ran in the opposite direction where _ had to go.
"Gakupo~! I have to get home before Grandpa does! He'll be super mad at me if he finds out I took his book without permission! Gakupo!"
Ignoring the cries at his back, Gakupo sped home. Skidding to a stop at his front door, the boy gasped out, "Wait here." Tearing through his house and up the stairs, the boy ran through his room and started to dig through his mess of a room. Throwing aside old toys and dirty clothes, the boy desperately searched for a present he received a few months ago from an aunt. Finding the item in a bag in the back of his closet, Gakupo thundered down the steps and out his front door.
Walking over to the panicking _, Gakupo stopped in front of _ and plopped a hat on _ head. Confusion coloring _ face, the violet haired boy went on to explain, "My aunt gave me that hat...but I never wear it. It looks better on you anyways. Suits you and stuff. Plus, I'd figure you'd like it since it had...to do...with the ...ocean."
Tilting _ head, _ reached a single hand up and took the foreign hat off of _ head. Holding it out in front of _, _ eyes widened in pleasure and surprise. Almost dropping the book held by _ other arm, _ exclaimed, "It looks like a sailor hat! Like the kind real sailors wear! Thanks Gakupo! I love it!" Placing the hat back on _ head, _ hugged Gakupo tight with one arm.
Stepping back, _ adjusted the hat on _ head and asked, "Couldn't you give this to me tomorrow?"
Looking away sheepishly, Gakupo admitted, "I…ah…couldn't wait."
Giggling pleasantly, _ looked up with those _ colored eyes of _ and exclaimed, "I know! When we're older, let's go see the ocean together! You and me!"
At the sincerity in _'s voice, Gakupo smiled and said, "That sounds good. Now let's go."
Confused, _ asked, "Go where?"
"Back to your place. We still have to beat your grandpa." And grabbing onto _'s hand once again, Gakupo took off running. With hands clasped tight, the two friends ran with the wind rushing through their hair. Smiling with mischievous glee, they dreamt of the future they would soon experience.
Soaked feathers
Fingers locked
The warmth of skin
Two hearts
Curled up on the fluffy white bed, Oliver cried silently to himself. Clutching his pillow tight to his chest, the small boy cried for reasons he couldn't fully understand. He felt sad. So unbearably sad. With his tears pouring out of his one good eye, the pillow in his arms quickly grew damp. The bandage surrounding his unseeing right eye was starting to get heavy but the boy felt too broken to try and change it.
Staring at the plain white wall that defined his 'bedroom', Oliver tried to make sense of the depressing feelings rising up in his chest. He was sad. Why was he sad? He...he...he lost something important? What did he lose? He didn't know. But it was something special, something he loved. If only he knew what that something was. How did he even lose it to begin with? He didn't know.
Groaning out in frustration, Oliver rolled about in bed. The sadness just wouldn't disappear! His hat flopped off of his head. Rolling onto his stomach, he stared at the accessory that was always with him. Reaching out his index finger to poke the inanimate object, he realized that he didn't know why the hat was his most prized possession. It just was. Staring at the sailor's hat with warm affection, the boy despised how his life had more questions than answers.
How he longed for another person to talk to, to trust. There was always Galaco, but Galaco worked for the scientists. She wasn't good enough. He needed something more, something bigger, something happier, something warmer. Staring at his empty palm, the boy couldn't shake off the vague sense that it was...empty. Yearning to clutch another hand other than his own, Oliver's unnamed emotions swirled dangerously in his chest. On the brink of explosion, Oliver threw his pillow against the wall. Satisfied with the forceful thwack, Oliver started to throw the remaining pillows off of his bed, one by one. Thwack. Thwack. Thwack.
Out of ammo, the boy thoughtlessly reached for his hat. Clenching it tight in his hands, he never let go. Crumpling over to the side, a new wave of tears shuddered through his body. Holding back his sobs, the pitiful boy was more frustrated with himself than when he began. Suffocating from the pressure of his pain, he looked over and stared at James, who was sitting quietly on top of his bedpost.
The bird tilted its head. Lifting its wings, it flew over and landed inches from Oliver's nose. Pecking the boy once, twice, the bird opened its beak and started to sing in the oddest of ways. So different from his usual chirpings, the song sounded...even and calculated. It was less of a bird chirping and more of an...actual song... Like something he could honestly sing. Staring at the bird in startled amazement, the bird stopped and pecked him again. Starting up again, the bird sang in its odd way. Somehow getting the message, Oliver closed his eye.
And from somewhere deep within, in a place where memories never really die, the boy sang. Softly and gently, the boy sang to a song that he did not recognize. But he continued to sing anyways. Feeling happier by the second, his tears slowly dried on his cheeks. Smiling to himself, the boy sang and sang, never once noticing that the bird had stopped long ago. Nuzzling against his hand, the small bird encouraged Oliver to go on; to sing and be happy.
And then...and then...something cracked. Not something real but something from within.
To find happiness with you.
To be your happiness.
Take me away
I wish for happiness
Waking up that morning, Gakupo stared up at the ceiling in silence. Thinking back on the dream still fresh on his mind, the man started to wonder about his past, his childhood. It was something that he hadn't looked back on in so long and now that he wanted to, he realized that he didn't know where to begin.
It was weird to think that there's been someone else in his life other than Kaito and Len. He even remembered how they met: in middle school extended detention. Len, a cheery and quirky shorty, had been sent for being too chatty and a repeated classroom disrupter. Kaito, a brooding and rebellious loner, had been sent for refusing to do his homework and generally pissing off his teacher. Gakupo himself had been sent for repeated tardiness. Stuck in a small classroom for two hours with nothing to do but stare at the wall, the three boys quickly became friends despite their obvious differences in personalities. Thinking back on it, Gakupo figured that even then, the three knew that they were all alike in a way neither wanted to admit. Broken and scarred by the lives they lived, the three boys understood each other in way that others never could. Strung together by the secrets they harbored within, their friendship became something that was as natural as air.
So with that in mind, it was extremely hard to believe that there was someone else before Kaito and Len. Someone different. But as Gakupo searched deeper into his past, he found that the memories became fuzzier and the faces turned unrecognizable. If Gakupo thought real hard, he could remember the vague outline of a child smaller than him. A child with big eyes, a beautiful smile and warms hands. Then again, if that person was so important, why did he forget in the first place? It just didn't make sense! It could have been possible that he imagined 'remembering' to make sense of his dreams. Going in circles deep in his mind, Gakupo inwardly sighed at his inability to make sense of the mush of information flooding his consciousness.
Worried about her boyfriend's concentrated silence, Luka gathered her courage and asked, "What are you thinking about?"
Surprised that his girlfriend was awake, Gakupo sighed out loud and he ran a hand through her long pink hair. Speaking to no one in specific, he admitted, "I had a dream. A dream about my childhood. Maybe. I'm not really sure. I don't actually remember it happening now that I think about it. I could have just imagined it all. But for some reason, I want to believe that I didn't. Does that make sense? I'm not even sure myself. But if it was real, then I now know why the ocean is so...important to me..."
Snuggling deeper into his side, the woman asked, "Why?"
Waiting patiently for her answer, the man at her side bit his lip in thought. "I think...a long time ago...I made a promise. A promise... to visit the ocean with... someone."
"Who?"
Sighing deeply, he replied, "That's the thing. I don't know."
Dropping the topic, Luka laid her head on her boyfriend's chest and drew lazy circles against the skin of his upper stomach. Settling back into bed, Gakupo's ears quirked as he heard the familiar tune that he heard the other day in college. Hastily sitting up and roughly jostling Luka in the process, Gakupo strained to hear the distant song. Yearning to get up and walk in its direction, the man struggled to make sense of the words filling his ears. Unconsciously leaning forward, Gakupo instinctually knew that someone was calling out to him. Someone important.
But as quickly as the song appeared, it disappeared into absolute nothingness. Face drawn in concern, Luka laid a cautious hand on his arm. "Is everything...alright?"
Looking down at her worried face, Gakupo kissed her once on the lips and drew her tight in his arms. Laying the both of them back into the bed, he whispered, "Yes. Everything is alright...I'm sorry."
I don't want your past
I seek your present
Retrace my broken future
Screaming without a sound, his body arched back against the bed. Clawing at the sheets, the boy struggled to breath. Rasping loudly, millions of images flooded into his brain at once. Attacking his brain without end, Oliver managed to identify the relentless images - memories. Memories...MEMORIES! He actually had memories! He was remembering his past! Finding pleasure in the pain, Oliver opened himself up further. He would not deny himself what he had sought after for so long.
Memories. Beautiful memories.
Memories. Memories of a boy with too long violet hair.
Memories. Such precious memories.
Clasped hands. Hidden pranks. Naps in the meadows. A promise for the ocean. A hat worth more than any treasure in the world. A smile that replaced the sun. Such wonderful memories.
"Oliver...There's something weird going on with the people you're living with now."
Memories. Sad memories.
"You're going to move away soon, aren't you? You're going someplace where I can't reach you. Don't lie. You know it's true."
Memories. Pained memories.
"You can't escape them, can you? Running away isn't an option. Not with those guys."
Memories. Devastating memories.
"Remember Oliver. Never trust those guys. They're hiding something. Something bad. I don't like it."
Memories. Important memories.
"Oliver. I'm going to teach you a song. It's a magical song. It's a song that I'll hear no matter how far away I am. And when I'm strong enough, I'll come and save you."
Memories. Promised memories.
"I wish for happiness. I seek happiness. To find happiness with you. To be your happiness..."
Memories. The kind that can never be forgotten.
"Now just stay still and we'll make the pain go away."
Memories. The kind full of lies and hidden motives.
"You fell out of the tree and hit your head. But don't worry. You're fine. You just need to sleep for a bit."
Memories. The kind that are full of betrayal.
Opening his eyes, Oliver realized that he had a visitor. Staring at the girl standing unnaturally still, Olivers frowned and said, "You knew all along, didn't you Galaco?" Watching her tremble, the defeated boy quietly asked, "You're going to take my memories again, aren't you?"
Crying quietly, she whispered, "I'm so sorry Oliver. I'm so, so, sorry."
Feeling the familiar pressure against his pressure, the honey eyed boy closed his eye and resigned to his fate. He realized his truth. As long as he was stuck in the birdcage, he would forever lose his memories. All he had left to hope in was the future. Such a fragile thing.
Oh memories. Beautiful, glorious, memories. How easily they can be stolen.
