AN: Picks up after the phone call between Garrett and Skye in the last episode. I'm changing things up so I guess after this it's AU. This is also a product of my adhd because I sat down to work on the story series that basically only entertains myself and instead I went tanning and then listened to music and heard a set of songs and a plot came anddddd then I painted my nails….Welcome to adhd my friends. Legit.
The song (because I have to have one) is Better As a Memory by Kenny Chesney
and no I do not just prefer country songs it just so happens those are the most emotionally revealing ones lmao but it's not integrated like they usually are with me since the story just had so much going on lol
Ward watched his mentor shut the phone as he leaned over the railing towards him.
"Raina told me how special Skye is. I know you've seen that from the start. You want orders?"
Ward looked up.
"Get her."
On instinct Grant began to turn away voicing a small thank you. He stopped mid turn when something inside him clicked realizing what it was John had just said. He knows about Skye…and now he wants me to go get her?
He was confused. Maybe his S.O. was finally allowing something he'd been wanting for so long. It's just...the way he said it…it didn't sound right. He placed his hand on the railing and looked back towards Garrett who was now looking at Mike Peterson.
"Sir?"
He watched the older man whip around suddenly and let loose a growl in frustration.
"What?"
Grant winced at his tone, but kept his nerve. "Why do you want me to get Skye?"
Garrett turned his body to completely face Ward brining up one hand and slapping it down on the railing again. "First you ask me for orders, and then you question them?"
Another wince; he knew what was coming. "John, I just—"
The back of a hand collided with Grant's face with a force he had not ever seen from the man before, the force causing him to remain bent over putting a hand to his jaw.
"I don't want her, I want what's inside."
Grants eyes shot open.
"Make a choice son, be that weak teenager in the woods, or be a man and go get her!"
He didn't want Skye just for him…he wanted to hurt her. Images of Skye lying in the hyperbolic chamber flooded his mind.
No.
He couldn't let that happen. This time, he would protect her.
Grants body acted as if it was on autopilot as the hand cradling his jaw reached around to his back and started to slowly raise his body back up. He saw John's smirk turn into something akin to fear as Grant stretched his arm out in front of him leveling his pistol with his S.O's head.
"No, John." He took a deep breath. He could do this. "I'm tired… I'm tired of giving up so much to make you happy only to get nothing in return."
He took a step closer to the older man as he kept a watchful eye on Peterson behind him.
"I told you Skye was off limits."
Grant noticed that John's expression of fear had relaxed a bit as he let a smirk appear on his face. "And I told you to follow orders…This is a bad move son," Garrett moved to place a hand on the gun pointed at him, "put down the gun and—"
"No John!" his mentor backed down a bit with a scowl on his face, but Grant's voice never wavered. "You're losing your mind John…I can't let you keep doing this."
"If you do this Grant, you'll have S.H.I.E.L.D. and Hydra on your ass. You'll never survive this."
Without so much as blinking, "I'll take my chances." Grant fire one shot into the man's skull and shifted his attention to the half cyborg in the corner.
He turned his arm towards Peterson, "Anything to say?"
Mike slowly walked over to where Garrett's body had fallen and looked down without any flicker of emotion on his face.
"My assignment was to never leave his side," He turned his head towards Grant, "I see no further purpose for me here."
He began to walk away when a thought occurred to Grant.
"Why didn't you stop me?"
Surely he had ample time to stop him from shooting. He was half cyborg now; his reflexes could be twenty times that of Grant's.
"By the time you pulled the trigger I had already calculated the possibilities of interfering. All of which ended the same." He turned back to face the agent, "You're training would have had you shoot with the slightest indication of my moving. There was nothing I could do."
"What will you do now?"
Mike turned back towards the door he was heading to, "Find my son."
With that he left Grant alone with the corpse. He refused to look down at the man lying in a pool of his own blood knowing the bottom of his boots would leave bloody footprints in their wake from standing to close.
Skye.
His mind shifted back into high alert as he made his way to the tech offices to find Skye.
"Is Hydra the plucky little family you never had? Or are you here because of the incentives program."
She knew that struck a nerve with the man in the chair in front of her. She needed information, if he would just give it to her, they could leave this all behind them-
"She's not gonna kill you."
That voice.
She whipped around to find Grant walking with gun raised straight towards her.
"She had a chance to kill me before and couldn't do it; and she hates me…a lot."
How dare him. "I feel sorry for you. Betraying the only people who gave you a chance at being a decent human being…Fitz was a hero because he still wanted to give you that chance after everything."
He was getting closer.
"But, some people are just born evil I guess."
"Yeah, yeah maybe they are."
Skye steeled herself for whatever he had planned.
"I've learned things about you Skye…history. Things you'll wanna know. You and I aren't that different."
He was insane. She was nothing like he was.
He's a traitorous murdering bastard!
She chuckled slightly, mocking his statements. "You're not the evil I was referring to, Garrett is evil. You're just weak," she crept closer to him. Two could play this game, "Doing anything you're told." She smirked, "I hope Garrett orders you to walk into traffic."
"You're right Skye…" wait what? "You woke up a weakness inside me…"
Skye stared back as she tried not to let her shock show on her features.
"And for the first time in a while I wanted something for myself."
She picked up on the edge to his voice.
"But I realized it wasn't an option for me anymore…so I took out the variable that took it away from me."
She watched him lower his gun before reaching behind him to put in the waistband of his combat pants.
What's he playing at?
He had to have cards up his sleeves that she didn't know about. She kept her confusion well hidden to throw him off and she arched her eyebrow in question.
"What are you talking about?"
He ignored her question, "Tell Coulson, he'll find Garrett in the boiler room outside the lab," the silent implication of the Clairvoyant's wellbeing made clear. Gesturing with a nod to the man she still had tied to the chair, "the Incentives program is on the bottom floor. The keys are in the desk drawer behind him."
Skye looked at him warily before walking around the desk to open the drawer and grab the keys she found lying in the bottom before looking at the man she had tied up.
"Mike Peterson will be looking for it too, Ace is down there."
Why was he telling her all this?
"What are you doing Ward. What are you getting at?"
Grant put his hands in the air as a sign of surrender. "I'm not playing any games Skye…I'm just…" He shook his head with a bitter smile on his face and turned back to look at her as he took a deep breath, "I'm just trying to do the right thing for once and walk away."
Walk away? He can't be serious. She narrowed her eyes at her former S.O. before
Coward!
She must have said it aloud because his eyes took on a sadness she didn't see a minute ago.
"Skye—"
"You're just going to walk away? Leave everything you caused in shambles?"
Grant starts to make his way towards her slowly and Skye stands her ground.
"In the beginning, you asked me what my defining moment was." She blinked up at him as she waited to see where he was going with this.
"The one I told you was a lie—"
Of course it was!
She rolled her eyes at the agent in front of her "As if that is the shocker of the day…Grant Ward lying about something."
She crossed her arms as she saw him shut his eyes tightly and take a deep breath. Was this really that difficult for him?
"My family was something that I had already come to terms with…I had become numb to it."
Until you set a house on fire…
"But," She was brought out of her thoughts as she patiently waited for him to finish. She was slightly interested in what he had to say now. Just for, S.H.I.E.L.D. information purposes of course, so she'd have something to tell Coulson.
In no way did she care about anything he had to say….
Another deep breath and he opened his mouth as if he was trying to find the words. "But, my real defining moment was probably about fifteen minutes ago." Well that was unexpected. Her eyes widened when he continued, "I know what I have to do now."
She continued to stare into his eyes in search of a lie, but could find none. She must be out of practice. Or tired. Or maybe she was hungry. Something had to explain why she couldn't find anything.
Her radio produced a large scratchy noise that broke them both out of the tension filled atmosphere causing her to wince and scramble to reach for the offending object.
"Sk-Skye! Can you hear me?"
Coulson's voice came through the small speaker on the hand held device and she quickly glanced back to the audience of captives she forgot all about.
"Yeah, AC, listen…Garrett's in the boiler room by the labs and the Incentives program is on the ground floor….Deathlok might be around so be careful. I have the keys to the cells; I'll meet you down there soon."
"Alright Skye, just be—caref—okay?"
They must be a considerable distance away from her on the base for the radios to cut out so badly. With a sigh she turned back around to continue the confusing conversation she was having with Grant when she noticed he was no longer standing there.
Panic filled her entire being as she glanced around quickly spotting him moving at a good speed behind one of the glass panels in the hallway attached to the room. She started after him before turning to her captives, "Stay put! I'll be right back…nobody...uh...move." With a last point of her fingers she broke out in a jog to catch up to the man trying to make a quick exit.
I move on like a sinners prayer
She gets to the opening of the hallway and watches his back as he continues down the straight path, "This doesn't mean I forgive you."
Letting go like a levee breaks
She doesn't know what she was intending on getting across with that statement, but it seemed to make him stop none the less. She watches his shoulders rise and fall in deep breaths and lets his head roll back to rest on them as he looks at the ceiling.
Walk away as if I don't care
He finally turns around and faces her and it almost takes her breath away with the dramatic aspect of their situation.
Learn to shoulder my mistakes
He wasn't a very far distance away from her, but she found herself moving towards him without being entirely conscious of it. She noticed him moving back towards her so she figured it was okay that they were getting closer…it was just so that they didn't have to yell…right?
I'm built to fade like your favorite song
The look in Grants eyes was so intense she felt herself shiver. They were so close now he had to look down at her and as her eyes made their way up to meet his, she stopped at his lips.
Gettin reckless when there's no need
She watched them move as he whispered, "I know."
Laugh as your stories ramble on
Skye didn't see his hands moving until they came into her peripheral vision as he placed them gently on both sides of her head, much like he had done on the bus before.
After he handcuffed you?
Break my heart, but it won't bleed
She couldn't help shrug off the warning. Surely he didn't have handcuffs on him now and there was nothing he could cuff her to anyhow.
My only friends are pirates
She felt as if she was in a daze as he ran his fingers through her hair to move it away from her face.
That's just who I am
"I will never ask for your forgiveness Skye. I don't deserve it."
I'm better as a memory than as your man
His hands settled on the back of her neck with both of his thumbs under her ears where she felt the pads of his thumb stroking the skin there.
"—and, I know it's probably too late now, but I've come to realize something."
Her feet suddenly became more interesting than the conversation and she looked down at her shoes.
I can't handle how he's looking at me. Come on Skye snap out of it.
If he noticed she was looking at her feet and not him, he didn't acknowledge it as he continued. "When I told you that someday you'd understand, I didn't understand completely myself…especially when it concerned you."
She couldn't help it now. She brought her gaze back up to his and her hands reached up to wrap her fingers around his wrists by her face. Screw Hydra. Screw S.H.I.E.L.D. This was her chance to understand. She'd listen to him; after all, they gave her a second chance.
She whispered his name I an attempt to urge him to continue.
"I thought—at first I thought, it was just your looks…I didn't know what anything else felt like so I chalked it up to lust, but."
One of his hands dropped down to her waist and her now free hand found purchase on his waist as her fingers hooked around his belt loops.
"When you were shot, I...I—"His sentenced died on his lips and she watched him carefully as he switched the gears of the conversation.
"I know," He stops and she watches him swallow quickly before starting to shake his head, "I know, I've lost every ounce of whatever it was that you may have felt for me—"she interrupts him and squeezes the wrist of the hand he still has in her hair.
"No, Grant…you can still come back," Coulson would disagree and May would no doubt kill her but right now she didn't care, "come with us."
She felt him tense briefly as he brought his eyes back to hers from their attempt to find anything else he could focus on.
"Skye…" She knew she had tears in her eyes but she also wouldn't let them fall. If she was going to do this…if she was going to offer this chance. She needed to be strong for the both of them.
"Come with me." Her emphasis on the 'me', although quiet, seemed to relax him as she felt his thumb begin to rub her jaw once more soothing her.
She watched his frown turn into a small and weak breathy smile, "The second they see me they will throw me in jail."
She can't argue with that. She knows he belongs in jail. He's killed, he's lied, and he's betrayed them on every level. Yet, here she was, in front of him still offering him something. She shuts her eyes tightly forcing the tears back.
Some things never change I guess.
"I have a chance to fix a little of what I helped damage," she wasn't sure if he was trying to convince her or himself, "and I'm going to take it, even if it means I'll always be on the run."
Her heart ached for him. He was always alone, and what's worse was he was always prepared to be alone. No one should feel like that…ever.
Skye turned her head away from him to look out the windows lining the hallway overlooking the body of water near the building.
Typical.
She'd had a real agent badge for a day. She'd had finally grasped her happiness in the form of love and it lasted for all of one day…She just couldn't seem to hold on to anything anymore, and the thought scared her more than she liked to admit.
She felt disappointed when his hand untangled itself from her hair, only to have it return to her face when she felt his finger curl under her chin and lead her face back to his. She continued to avoid his stare for a few seconds longer as she prepared herself for the blow of him leaving her again.
She finally worked up the courage to look him in the eye and all her work went to nothing. She felt a few tears streak their way down her cheeks as she attempted to swallow the lump in her throat to keep them back.
"Especially if it means you're safe."
I see you leaning, you're bound to fall
She shook her head in protest, "Who! Who, do I need protected from Grant? This is it! We are taking down Hydra and there won't be anyone—"she stops suddenly as she feels him take her hand off his belt loop and grabs her other hand lying limp at her side. He holds her fingers in his much larger hands and rubs his thumbs over her knuckles.
I don't want to be that mistake
"You'll be safe away from me."
Her eyes widen in shock as she tries to process what he could even mean by that. The Berserker staff? His childhood? Lorelei; What? What could possibly be in him to cause her danger?
"Grant, no. Stop"
I'm just a dreamer and nothing more
He ignored her please and brought her hands up to his lips and she could only watch in anticipation as his lips ghosted over her knuckles.
You should know it before it gets too late
"I love you."
She felt him speak the words more than she heard them and against her better judgment she accepted it as purely genuine and tears spring forward to her eyes once more as she cursed how much of a bitch fate was.'
He finally pressed his lips to her knuckles in a slow kiss and she felt his grip on her hands start to lighten as he began to walk away from her for what felt like the millionth time that week.
She squeezed his fingers before their hands completely separated and she yanked him back towards her. She released his hands just as he raised his arms and threw her own around his waist pressing him up against her and quickly leaned up to slant her lips over his.
Cause goodbyes are like a roulette wheel
She felt his hand on her face again as his fingers wove themselves once more through her tresses; his response just as frantic as hers. Their lips moved together over top of one another's in a desperate hope to satisfy the need in both of them, despite knowing it would never be so.
You never know where they're gonna land
When they parted for air she brought him back to her quickly with a whimper and pressed their chests together in a possessive hug.
First you're spinning, then you're standing still
The hand in her hair brought her head to rest on his chest as his other arm swings up and around her shoulders holding her to him just as tightly, pressing kisses into her hair every few seconds before resting his cheek against the top of her head.
Left holding a losing hand
She cursed herself briefly for feeling so many conflicting emotions at once. She was saddened with the notion of him leaving and his affection made her feel content enough to never want to leave his arms. If Coulson saw her now, he's probably test her for a concussion.
The walls she had so skillfully built back up after the reveal of his true alliances were tumbling back down. This was not forgiveness. This was just her being selfish and not wanting him in a jail cell…away from her.
But one day you're gonna find someone
She grips the back of his shirt in her fists as she struggles with keeping the tears at bay and she pressed her face into his shirt before letting out a sniffle calming herself down before she got really worked up.
And right away you'll know it's true
She could deal with this. This was not the end of the world.
That all of your seeking's done
Time to put the big girl panties on.
It was just a part of the passing through
"That better not have been a goodbye kiss Agent Ward"
Right there in that moment you'll finally understand
She felt his smile against her head and sighed when he pulled away from her and slid his hands down her shoulders. She let out a wry smile as his hands continued their mission past her elbows and down to her wrists as he reached behind them to unlock the fingers she had clasped around his back just to lace them with his. He dropped their hands to their sides and leaned forward to press his forehead to hers.
"One day, I'll find you again."
I'm better as a memory than as your man
By the time she met up with May and Coulson she had put herself back together and had released the prisoners of the Incentive program. Her arms provided a nap to Ace as she looked around for his father who was apparently lurking around the building looking for his son.
She knows the two older agents could sense a change in her behavior and attitude, but she pushed it aside and continued walking towards the S.H.I.E.L.D. SUV's. After putting Ace in the backseat and quietly shutting the door, she turned around to meet Coulson's worrying gaze.
"Come on, Garrett's upstairs."
It wasn't all rainbows and unicorns for Skye. She had something confusing, crazy and strangely addicting going on with Grant, and she couldn't talk to her team about it.
If this was a merry-go-round, she wanted off.
AN: I know I said the song wasn't integrated like it was in the others but I couldn't help but put some of the words in there lol
This will have…4 maybe 5 chapters all of which I already had pretty much planned out in my google keep app with the rest of my stories and chapters…. =)
Let me know what you think!
