Author's Note: So I just couldn't get over what Kensi said to Sabatino about her and Deeks. And so those thoughts led to this.
Disclaimer: No profit, just borrowing for fanworks here.
Thanks to those who read and review.
On with the story…
"What a rough day," Deeks announced as he and Kensi walked out of NCIS together, "I'll be glad to have my back meet my mattress tonight."
"I'm just glad it didn't go any longer," Kensi said, "I thought for a minute there we were going to be stuck pulling an all-nighter."
"Definitely glad that didn't happen," Deeks agreed and then he stopped moving, smacking his palm to his forehead, "Man I forgot my keys! Shoot!"
He turned and began walking back in the direction they had come, ignoring Kensi's snickering.
"I'll see you in the morning," Deeks called out to Kensi who had just reached her car, "and it's your turn to bring the donuts!"
"I bought them last time, it's your turn," she responded without looking back at him, getting in the car and turning it on a moment later.
Deeks laughed to himself as he turned around, coming face-to-face with CIA Officer Vostanik Sabatino.
"Hey there," he said to the other man, "what brings you to our neck of the woods? Nothing too serious, I hope?"
"Nah," Sabatino replied, "Just had a meeting with Director Granger, is all. I'm glad you two seem to be getting along better," he continued, nodding in the direction of Kensi's disappearing car.
"Better? Better than what?" Deeks replied, confused.
"Well it's just that I know she was pretty frustrated with you before so it's nice to see you two acting like real partners now."
And just what had Kensi been telling this guy?
"What do you mean she was pretty frustrated with me before? What did she say?"
"Nothing big, just that you guys were barely partners."
While Deeks was immediately hurt by the words he reasoned that he didn't know the full story. That could mean a lot of different things. Better to find out which one it was before he spoke up and embarrassed himself.
"Barely partners? What context was this, exactly? Because if she was talking about laser tag then yes, we are barely partners. I am obviously carrying most of the weight there."
"I asked her if there was anything between you guys," Sabatino said, looking amused despite himself, "you know, romantically?"
"Oh," Deeks said, falling silent as his mind began to whir.
Sabatino only let the silence build for a moment.
"Yeah well like I said I'm just glad you guys are getting along, it makes the work a lot easier to bear if you get along with your partner."
"Yes, yes it does," Marty said, wanting nothing more than to leave, "Well I'm gonna take off and grab my keys, got some take out with my name on it waiting."
"Sure thing," Sabatino said, beginning to walk to his own car, "see you around."
"Yeah," Deeks replied absent-mindedly, mind already consumed with thoughts of what he'd just learned.
Why had Kensi said that? When Sabatino asked she should have told him it was none of his business. Instead she'd said they were barely partners…why? Unless it was to make sure Sabatino knew she was interested in him. Try as he might Marty couldn't think of any other reason for her to have said that. And speaking of what she said—ouch. Well if Kensi wanted Sabatino then she could have him. Deeks was done with whatever dance they'd been doing, he decided suddenly. He deserved more than that. He knew he tended to be goofier than sometimes Kensi was comfortable with but for her to have said that? No, he hadn't done anything to deserve that.
"Hetty, I need to talk to you," Deeks said without preamble as he approached their diminutive leader the next morning.
"Can it wait, Mr. Deeks? We have a case." Hetty replied, noting that he was the first of the team to arrive, a heretofore unheard of event.
"It can but not for long," Marty told her and she studied his unusually serious expression for a moment before she nodded.
"As soon as we find out what we're up against and decide upon a course of action if there's a window open I promise I will be free," she said and Deeks gave her his own nod before he made his way to Ops.
Once the team had been given their assignments and they broke off to do their own thing Hetty called out, "A word, Mr. Deeks?"
He nodded and followed her downstairs to her desk. She gestured to the seat in front of it and he sank down into it.
"What is it you wished to speak with me about, Mr. Deeks?" Hetty asked once she had been seated at in her own chair desk.
"I want to give my notice," he said bluntly.
"I see," she replied carefully, "is there something in particular which prompted this decision you wish to discuss?"
"No," Deeks said but then in the next breath he was up and pacing, "it's about Kensi and me. Or rather how there's not a Kensi and me."
"And you want there to be?" Hetty asked, watching his agitated pacing.
"It doesn't matter what I want," Deeks said, "because now I know there's no chance of it happening and while I would love to say I'm the kind of guy who can just brush off getting blown off I really can't."
"Does Miss Blye know about your decision to leave?"
"No but she won't care."
Hetty shook her head.
"I highly doubt that, Mr. Deeks. Just because she may have indicated a lack of desire to enter into a romantic relationship with you doesn't mean she doesn't care about you at all."
"She told Sabatino we were barely partners." Deeks said and while he hadn't planned on telling Hetty any of the details he found himself pouring out the story, ending with, "so you see why I have to go?"
"Indeed, Mr. Deeks," Hetty told him with a sigh, "I understand though I must say I wish it were otherwise. You are an asset to this team."
"Thank you," Deeks replied, "and not just for saying that but for everything else. You've been the best boss I've ever had and no matter where I go I know that statement will remain true for the rest of my life."
"You flatter me, Mr. Deeks," Hetty said with a sad smile, "and while I appreciate it don't think it will influence my letter of recommendation. I will remain honest and objective when composing it."
"I expect nothing less," Marty told her, finally showing a hint of a smile, "though if you want to say I'm the best LAPD liaison you've ever had I'm not going to object."
"Go join your team," Hetty said, "and I will start the necessary paperwork. We can discuss your specific employment options later."
"All right," Marty said and he turned to go with a salute.
It was a tense few weeks while the team tackled their latest case. A man tried to smuggle weapons into the U.S. and though the team had caught him there was still worry that the shipment they had seized was not the only one, merely the latest one. They were going over his life with a fine toothed comb in order to see if there were in fact any shipments of illegal weapons floating around L.A. and once the rogue weapons had finally been discovered and confiscated the whole team breathed a sigh of relief.
Kensi had been tense for the past couple of weeks but not only because of the case. Agent Sabatino had called her a few weeks back and they had tentatively scheduled getting together for drinks when she was done with her latest case. And now that they were done and she was in fact going out for drinks with Agent Sabatino, who tried to get her to call him Nick, she found she was more nervous than she'd been in a while.
It didn't help matters that Deeks had been unusually professional throughout this the last case. And now as they each were getting ready to go home she briefly wondered if she should ask him what was going on. Callen and Sam had just left when Agent Sabatino—Nick—made his way into NCIS to pick her up. Deeks didn't do anything when he saw him aside from tip his head in greeting, a fact Kensi thought was strange but she was too nervous to pay it much heed.
"I'm leaving," Deeks told her and she frowned at his serious expression.
"Okay well good night, then," she said, turning to Sabatino and smiling.
"Goodbye, Kensi." Deeks said.
Why was he doing this? She looked away from Sabatino and over to Marty who was still sporting the serious expression from before. She felt her face heat up at his persistence in having her attention on him and her exasperation bled through into her tone.
"Goodbye, Deeks."
He held her gaze for a moment before he nodded and turned away. She shook her head and managed a smile for Sabatino.
"Shall we go?" she asked and prayed he didn't say anything about the whole weird exchange. To her relief he merely nodded and gestured for her to precede him.
The next morning Kensi was smiling as she made her way into NCIS. Drinks had gone well last night and though she wasn't sure there was a long term future for her and Nick she was happy the date had gone well. As she came in sight of their four desks she noted with amusement that she wasn't the late one.
"Deeks not here yet? Did he oversleep again?" she said with a smile which faded as she looked up and caught Sam and Callen exchanging a glance. "What? What is it?"
"Didn't he say goodbye to you last night?" Sam asked and she nodded.
"Yes, while I was trying to leave, actually. He got all serious and kept trying to get me to say goodbye."
"That's because he was leaving." Callen told her gently.
"Leaving? Leaving where?"
"Mr. Deeks accepted a transfer to another agency," Hetty announced as she joined the group, "yesterday was his last day."
"Transfer?" Kensi repeated, "To which agency?"
"The Miami-Dade Police Department."
It took a few moments for the words to make sense to Kensi.
"Miami? Miami as in Florida, Mianmi?" she gasped out, "how could you let him go?"
"Mr. Callen, Mr. Hanna, would you mind going up to Ops and seeing if there's a case breaking?" Hetty asked and Sam and G. nodded and left, sparing Kensi a pitying glance as they did. Once they were out of earshot Hetty turned back to Kensi. "Mr. Deeks is a grown man, Miss Blye. It is not for me to stop him if he felt feels that his talents would best be served elsewhere. And though I may on occasion point out alternatives when I feel as though those alternatives have not been given their due consideration in this case I agree with Mr. Deeks. NCIS is no longer the place for him."
"But why?" Kensi asked, "What happened? Why didn't he say anything to me?"
"Do you remember the talk I had with you and Mr. Deeks before you went undercover as a married couple?" Hetty responded and Kensi nodded. "Well suffice it to say when Mr. Deeks found that his affections were not requited he recognized that his ability to function as a member of this team had been compromised."
"His affections were not requited?" Kensi repeated, blushing as she recognized that they were talking about his affections for her but frowning as she tried to understand what had happened to make him think that. And only one thing came to mind. "Is this because I went out for drinks with Agent Sabatinoi?"
"No, Miss Blye," Hetty said with a frown of her own, "it is because when asked if you had romantic feelings for Mr. Deeks you said the two of you were barely partners. Obviously with two such differing views on the relationship between the two of you it makes sense that one of you would choose to leave. I am just thankful Mr. Deeks was able to make the decision before it had impacted the work our team does."
Kensi had gone pale as soon as she heard the words "barely partners."
"Who told you I said that?" she whispered, afraid of the answer.
Hetty put a hand on her elbow and Kensi let herself be steered toward her desk chair and she dropped down into it.
"Mr. Deeks did, of course," Hetty replied, frown intensifying, "But from your expression it is clear you thought someone else may have told me. Who did you think I was going to say?"
"When we were working the Viktor Varlamov case Agent Sabatino asked me if there was anything going on between me and Deeks."
"And you told him the two of you were barely partners."
Kensi nodded.
"Somehow Deeks must have heard about it," Kensi she told Hetty, "but how?"
"If he was not present for the initial conversation and you did not share the information with him then it seems as though Agent Sabatino is the likely answer, is he not?"
"But why would he have said anything to Deeks?" Kensi questioned. She had thought there was no chance what she'd said would ever make it back to Deeks but clearly she was wrong.
"In my experience there is only one reason for Agent Sabatino to have relayed the information," Hetty told her, "so that the field would be well and truly cleared for his own overtures."
"You mean so that Deeks would know there was no chance?" Kensi asked and Hetty nodded.
"Indeed, Miss Blye, it seems as though Agent Sabatino may have detected some hint of Mr. Deeks' feelings and may have wanted to indicate their unwelcome nature so as to avoid a messy display later when it came out that you and he had begun dating."
"What am I going to do?" Kensi said and Hetty frowned.
"About what, Miss Blye?"
"Deeks. I need to talk to him, explain everything."
"What is it you feel you need to explain? Did Agent Sabatino lie to Mr. Deeks? Did you in fact not say those words?"
"No, I said them," Kensi admitted, feeling shame and remorse descend even heavier on her.
"Correct me if I am wrong but your response to Agent Sabatino was made to confirm your availability for dating."
"Yes," Kensi acknowledged, "I was so flattered by his attention, and he's just so different from—from anyone else."
"Then there is nothing to explain to Mr. Deeks, Miss Blye," Hetty told her, "For this outcome would have happened regardless as soon as it became clear you and Agent Sabatino were dating. Mr. Deeks would not have likely been content to sit and watch you date Agent Sabatino for long while he himself harbored romantic feelings for you."
"But I shouldn't have said that," Kensi said, "I didn't mean it! And I never thought Deeks would know I had."
"That is regrettable," Hetty acknowledged, "As for what you said was it a lie?"
"Yes, of course it was," Kensi said, "of course Deeks is more than barely my partner. Even if he and I aren't—together—we're more than just partners. I thought he knew that."
"Although I cannot say for sure I feel it is a fair statement that before he heard what you had said Mr. Deeks shared that sentiment," Hetty said, "But Miss Blye though you wish to have things repaired between the two of you I feel it is only right to warn you that may not be possible."
"Why not?" Kensi said, only barely aware of how close she was to a whine.
"Though you may wish your word choice had differed, or that Mr. Deeks had remained ignorant of your conversation with Agent Sabatino the facts remain that you did use those words and he does know. I believe you feel upset that his feelings were hurt at your words. However this is not a situation for which a simple apology will turn back everything to what it was before. You have both tipped your hands. You have indicated a desire to date Agent Sabatino. Mr. Deeks has made it clear he is unable to maintain a partnership with you while he has romantic feelings. And now things are in motion which cannot be undone. Mr. Deeks is no longer affiliated with this agency. He's not coming back, Miss Blye. There will be no reformation of the team as it once was."
"Why didn't he say anything to me before he left?" Kensi said, "I could have told him what happened, made it so he didn't leave."
"Miss Blye," Hetty said, "Mr. Deeks knows what happened, and why you said what you said. Telling him you wish your word choice had been different would not have encouraged him to stay. If he had confronted you about what he heard would you have told him it was a lie? That you in fact wanted to date him?"
"I—no, I wouldn't have told him it was a lie. I would have told him I was sorry I said that, that I knew we were more than partners. But I'm not sure I would have had the courage to say I wanted to date him," Kensi admitted.
"Well Fortune favors the brave, Miss Blye," Hetty told her, "and now I would caution you about your next course of action. Even if you decide to get in touch with Mr. Deeks and apologize to him the fact remains he has given up his place here."
And Kensi couldn't let herself focus on the finality in Hetty's words.
"He never told me he had feelings for me," Kensi said, "I didn't think he would."
"I believe Mr. Deeks thought the two of you were on the same page and were waiting for things to unfold naturally," Hetty said, "though it is all a moot point now."
"I want him back," Kensi said and Hetty shook her head.
"I cannot stop you from trying to ensure Mr. Deeks is still in your life however you must prepare yourself for the possibility he has decided to make a clean break and open himself up to a new start. Things may not go at all how you wish they would."
Kensi fell into thought, not knowing what to say to Deeks, only that she wasn't ready to accept that he was gone for good. She wanted to be mad at Sabatino and part of her was, he had no right to repeat what she'd said regardless of his intentions however she was the one who had uttered the words in the first place.
"Come, Miss Blye," Hetty said, "let us go up to Ops and see what the team has for us today. Your thoughts could use with a distraction."
Kensi nodded and got to her feet, following after Hetty. She had a job to do though she doubted she'd be anywhere near her top form today. How was she going to get Deeks back? She held onto the thought that she was going to get him back, there was no alternative. He was too important to her and just because she'd been too afraid to say so before didn't mean she couldn't find a way to now.
Hetty was right…things couldn't go back to the way they were but maybe they could be even better than they had been. Things were indeed in motion and Kensi could only hope she could make it so those things were actually her dreams coming true and not her worst nightmare come to life.
Only time would tell.
