Written for rosencrantz at the livejournal community iyflashfic, where she requested Byakuya/Kagura platonic. Obviously, this fic will contain spoilers for the manga; be sure to be up to date.
Disclaimer: I am not Rumiko Takahashi.
Elephant
There is a cloud hanging over Naraku's castle. Whenever Byakuya steps onto the grounds, he can feel it press down on him just so.
It is invisible, this cloud, which makes its weight all the more tangible. It isn't so much frustrating as it is mysterious, but Byakuya, who'd rather stand aside and witness rather than participate in battle, has always loved a good mystery.
Naraku himself is a mystery, too, but Byakuya's been working to figure him out.
Byakuya has begun to question his master. He knows not the role he plays in his plots, the purpose for his existence, the purpose for the heart beating away in his chest. He knows he shouldn't pry too much or too hard or too often – he's the personification of stealth and grace, so he's been aware of that ever since he'd breathed his first – but curiosity has taken hold of him like it would a cat.
Byakuya must, then, make sure that it will not kill him in the end.
The first time he hears her name, it is from the mouth of Inu-Yasha. Naraku had sent Byakuya to spy on the hanyou's ragtag group, and though he did not know why he needed to, it was his duty not to question. His compliance found him on a freshly-folded paper crane, low enough in the sky so that he could observe the company but high enough to keep out of scent-catching range. The monk and half-demon seemed to bristle when he appeared, but otherwise he remained undetected.
"So what are we going to do about Naraku?" the green-and-white clad girl asks. "He's overthrown Moryoumaru and will probably keep getting stronger."
"Keh, 'course he will," says Inu-Yasha, folding his arms. "But if he does, I'll be there to kick his ass."
"Inu-Yasha, we shouldn't underestimate Naraku's power." Byakuya turns his attentions to the houshi, whose robes sway in a passing breeze. "We've seen the extent of his wrath – he'll inflict it upon even his own underlings."
This piques Byakuya's interests, and he can't help but strain his ears a bit to hear more.
"What happened to Kagura shows us exactly why we should beat the shit out of him in the first place."
And while the group keeps talking, the wind blows just a little harder.
Kagura…
Byakuya feels like he should know the name. It pricks at his heart like a memory he can't place, calls out to him like a voice without an echo or a heart without a pulse.
Kagura…
From what he'd gathered from the group's brief exchange, he knows that she was Naraku's minion that died at his hand. The fact that he killed her doesn't surprise Byakuya in the least, for he knows his master far too well.
It is that he knows nothing about Kagura that makes curiosity tease at his brain, and even as he rides the wind back to Naraku's castle, it does not cease its buzzing about, like a relentless fly he cannot swat away.
It is Byakuya's duty not to question. This he knows by default.
But Kagura, a name he knows but doesn't and shouldn't, brings the inquiry of "who?" bubbling to the surface of his mind.
When Byakuya touches down on the grounds of the castle, he briefly feels the welcoming press of the cloud upon his shoulders.
And then, suddenly, it disappears. The skies clear, the wind howls, and Byakuya is confused.
The one thing he does know is that this cloud has a name, and it is "Kagura."
There is only so much that Byakuya can learn from observing. His skill of being able to choose his battles has done him well thus far in life, but if Byakuya wishes to quell his curiosities about Kagura, he will need to take action.
Byakuya won't mention his curiosities to Naraku, of course. The demon probably doesn't feel well-disposed toward his late underling, and Byakuya is aware that if Naraku is nudged in the wrong direction, he could be the next dead incarnation.
And so he searches for a girl who could not nudge even if she wanted to, who can speak out loud but won't tell Naraku and please don't tell him anything.
(And she won't.)
"Kanna."
The nothing child's eyes are as black as the walls of her cave. Her white hair illuminates its insides well enough, but it is her eyes that beckon Byakuya closer.
"Younger brother…"
Her voice is a whisper, though Byakuya's swells to fill the whole of the cave.
"So you know who I am."
Byakuya had first come to know of Kanna's whereabouts on his own; there were perks to being a master at observation, and as a descendant of Naraku, he'd utilized them to find her, a girl that smelled like Naraku but gave off no aura. She had fascinated him, drawn him to her home-but-not, and from the recesses of his heart, he'd produced her name.
Kanna looks down briefly as if to say, "What is it that you want?" Byakuya can't help but notice how white her knuckles are as they cradle her all-seeing mirror.
Finally, Byakuya speaks again. "Do you know Kagura?"
There is the quickest flash of pink on her hand-skin, but it fades into immaculate paleness even faster.
"Sister…"
"I know," Byakuya replies, and Kanna tilts her head toward him. "But who was she Kanna. Who?"
It is a question he's wanted to know the answer to ever since he'd heard her name.
And Kanna's answer to it is as simple as the snow is white.
"The wind." Then, as if it is an afterthought: "The free wind." Byakuya cannot stop Kanna's slow sentences now, which trickle out from her like rain, or tears. "She died betraying Naraku… and he killed her… she wanted her heart… and Naraku destroyed it."
She is quiet, now, and the silence makes Byakuya only that much more aware of his pulse in his ears.
"But since she is dead… does this mean she is free?"
And the pink on Kanna's cheeks is so bright, Byakuya thinks her face will combust.
"It is what she had always wanted."
When Byakuya leaves the cave, the wind screams away to greet him. Navigating back to Naraku proves difficult with the gale's added turbulence, and Byakuya can't resist turning around to say, "Just because you're free doesn't mean you get to torture me."
The wind doesn't stop.
Byakuya learns just a little more about Kagura.
It is the most insignificant things in life, Byakuya thinks, that make each second worthwhile. In his search for all knowledge surrounding Kagura, he's begun to appreciate this more and more. The way a molting bird sheds a single white feather appeals to him. The way that spiders' webs bend and snap in an unrelenting breeze is entertaining.
The way that Sesshô-maru tries to snub him off but then bristles at the mention of Kagura's name makes Byakuya hover between amusement and offense.
"So, what do you know of Kagura, Sesshô-maru-sama?" The demon lord's continued apathy adds to Byakuya's delight, and he can't help but playfully tack the honorific onto his name for effect.
"She was a fool," Sesshô-maru says, closing his eyes as the wind picks up to slap his face.
"How so?"
"Kagura never knew her place in the world," Sesshô-maru continues. Byakuya's a bit surprised that he's being so talkative, especially considering that he is an incarnate of Naraku, the dog demon's greatest enemy. But then, Byakuya thinks to himself, so was Kagura. "Kagura was not content to accept what she had, and it cost her her life. That is why…"
(And his eyes reopen.)
"…she deserved to die."
"But…" Byakuya steps closer to the white-haired man; Sesshô-maru does not stop his approach, but the resounding crack of his claws gets his hostile message across easily enough. "…if there had been a way to save her, would you have done so?"
Even the wind is stagnant now. Byakuya feels it sit on his shoulders, an attentive audience to Sesshô-maru's reaction.
The demon lord has none.
"It would have made no difference," he says, and the world breathes a sigh of relief. "Those who are born foolish never change; she would have fought until she died anyway, and nothing would have been any different."
Byakuya stays quiet, and, taking this as a sign that their conversation is over, Sesshô-maru begins to walk away.
Though he doesn't know if he is heard, Byakuya grins and mumbles, "Sesshô-maru…" (He never thought that the demon liked that honorific much anyway.) "I can see why Kagura liked you so much."
This time, as Byakuya rides through the air, he travels with the wind at his back.
It's a little thing like that that makes him happy.
One day Byakuya realizes that information about his fallen sister can only give him so much. He'd always considered himself a realistic person; he'd known that dead was dead, and no amount of research on his part could change that.
One could make the argument that Kagura could manipulate the dead, but it did nothing to soothe the sprinkling of insignificance the tugged at his heart, which beat and beat and beat without guilt.
"I think I would have liked to know her," he says to whoever is listening. He makes sure Naraku doesn't hear him, for he can't ever know, but as far as the rest of the world is concerned, Byakuya doesn't care if it hears him so long as it keeps his thoughts a secret.
After all, Naraku keeps so many secrets from him. What should stop Byakuya from having a few of his own?
"We would have gotten along well, the wind and me."
And Byakuya can't help but smile at what could never be.
Naraku had called Byakuya in to tell him of his next plot to slay Inu-Yasha. Having recently regained his human heart, he would need to stave off the hanyou and his friends by dispatching stronger, more deadly youkai. There was one in the north, he'd said, that was protective of his territory, so much so that it could be sent into a murderous rage whenever any living thing set foot on its grounds.
"It'll do the job nicely," Naraku says with a malicious smirk.
"That it will," Byakuya agrees. "But if I go to it, won't this youkai slay me as well?"
The corner of Naraku's lip quirks slightly. "Yes. But aren't you the master of illusions? I'm sure you could find a way to escape with your head."
Outside, a windstorm begins to stir itself up. Byakuya turns his head toward the noise, taking his eyes from his master.
"Byakuya…"
Within moments the hanyou produces a red orb in his hand and does not hesitate to squeeze it will all of his strength. Byakuya crumples like a discarded wad of origami paper, feels his knees turn inward as he falls and hits the ground hard.
"You must remember, Byakuya," Naraku continues as his offspring writhes on the floor, "You are the master of illusions. You cannot let your personal illusions master you."
A passing thought skirts through his consciousness: this is what Kagura had to go through… But he cannot examine this further, for Naraku still holds his heart in his hand and reminds him of this with another crushing motion.
"Rid yourself of those thoughts, Byakuya, or it will be your downfall at my hand."
And when Byakuya is finally given permission to leave, he searches and searches within himself for a heartbeat only to discover none.
"I think I understand you better now," Byakuya says to the wind later as he rides it north to what is sure to be his death. He cannot keep thoughts of Kagura out of his head; her past is consuming, swallowing him whole, drowning him in curiosity even though he knows that in the end it will kill him. "I know what you had to go through…
"…and I know you can hear me."
The wind shifts suddenly, and now he is flying against it.
Even she has betrayed him now, and it stings because betrayal like this is also what she needed to put up with everyday.
There is one option left, Byakuya thinks, and he has immersed himself in Kagura so much, it is the only one he can hope to pull off while keeping his life minus a heart intact.
"A greedy demon?" the taiji-ya inquires, stroking her two-tailed cat idly. Beside her, the green-and-white girl shies away from Naraku's spawn, while the monk simply stares and Inu-Yasha reaches for Tetsusaiga.
"Keh. How do I know that Naraku's not putting you up to this? You trying to pull a fast one on us?"
"Be silent, Inu-Yasha," the monk – Miroku, he'd said his name was – murmurs before turning to Byakuya himself. "I'll admit that I, too, am a little wary of you – " (Here, Inu-Yasha makes a small noise of anger before getting shushed again by both women.) " – but I think that what you're telling us is true."
"Feel free to mistrust me," Byakuya says, making a move to leave. "But know that I'm not doing this for your benefit."
"Then why?" the green girl asks, balling her fists and throwing her head forward.
"I am telling you…" he continues. "…for her."
"Who?"
"Kagura."
And before they can say anything further to him, he strides away.
It is something he thinks Kagura would have done.
Once he's gone, Miroku gathers the group about him to discuss battle tactics to use while fighting the demon Byakuya described to them. "We shouldn't help but feel grateful that he made a move to help us in the first place," he says, much to Inu-Yasha's obvious chagrin.
"Hmph. I just think he's a moron." The hanyou speaks the words without attachment, but quickly wishes he hadn't said them at all when the subduing spell falls from Kagome lips and he forms an Inu-Yasha-shaped crater in the ground.
"Inu-Yasha! Don't say that about him!"
"But it's true. All of Naraku's spawn are the same; they're all stubborn, they're all stupid, and they'll never change one bit."
What Inu-Yasha doesn't know is that the wind is whispering all of his words back to Byakuya, who, at this, can only think back to what Sesshô-maru said about Kagura. He closes his eyes, unnerved by his now-evident similarities to her.
"I wish I knew you," he says to the wind. It blows him back south – no longer against him – and he lets it guide him to where it wants him to go.
"Inu-Yasha and his brother really are similar, aren't they?" he asks, knowing he won't get a response but attempting conversation with his sister-but-not-quite anyway. "Their ways of reading people are the same, and their grudges against Naraku…" He shakes his head as his paper crane touches down in a field of flowers, white and silken and translucent like spirits long dead.
"Of course," he says, stooping to pick a blossom and twirling it between his fingers, "I like to think that we're the same as well, Kagura."
The wind blows and the flowers tickle the fabric covering his ankles. He thinks this act is something akin to sisterly, but Kagura is an uncertainty in his brain, an illusion he simply can't master, so he can't be sure.
And then something blows across his thigh, and he has just enough time to see the white feather streak across the field before it makes its journey into the sky.
He smiles.
"Kanna told me you were the free wind," he says, sitting beside his paper crane. "And I think that I'm glad to have been able to fly with you."
Byakuya returns to Naraku's castle later and should suspect something when no cloud presses down on his shoulders. He makes it inside Naraku's chamber, learns that Inu-Yasha and his friends vanquished the northern demon, and then sees his heart glittering in his hand.
And something is squeezing and exploding in a shower of red inside his chest, and Naraku is smiling as he presses in and in and in and in.
"It was your own fault, Byakuya," he says, the once-heart becoming nothing more than a streak of crimson across his palm. "You could not control yourself. This is your fate."
"And I will gladly accept it."
Naraku's eyes widen as Byakuya stares up at him. While his gaze is not defiant, the smile on his face is, and this shakes him because no one has ever dared to smile in the face of his evil before.
"You are my master, Naraku… but Kagura was my sister. And being her brother… that was my purpose. And if this is how I die…"
When Byakuya goes, he goes piece by piece, one illusion after another.
If this is how I die… if this is truly my fate… then I'm happy to accept it.
Before long only his detached eye remains writhing on the ground below, searching for a master it will not find.
Byakuya is gone, wiped clean from the earth like a bloodred stain on the ground.
And yet his dying smile remains forever.
There is something so calling, so incredibly curious about that smile, that Naraku can't help but remember it. He doesn't regret his actions toward his minion, for they were right in his own mind, but he can and will recollect that grin for days after.
There is no remorse in his not-heart, and so it continues to beat away in his chest.
One day Naraku leaves the grounds in search of a new youkai to manipulate.
He does not go far, because the weight of two clouds combined crushes him flat.
And from then on, the wind blows happily through the land, and there is nothing curious about that at all.
End fic. As always, I love reviews. Did you like this fic? Hate it? Fangirl one part and loathe another? I'd like to know. Thank you for reading. ((bows))
