Untitled House AU Fic
Part I:
Rating: R for language and possible sexual situations, I don't know yet this is the first chapter, I will warn as needed at the beginning of each.
A/N: I know that never in a million years could this happen, but that won't stop me from writing it and it didn't stop me from writing Blood On The Bracelet so if you don't like crazy, impossible situations then don't read this. You've been warned.
Cuddy was sitting at her desk going over paperwork as usual when House came through the door with an amazingly stunning woman in tow. The woman was almost six feet tall but Cuddy realized that was only because she was in six inch heels. Everything about her from head to toe was perfect. Her chest was perky and bounced as House pulled her. She was wearing a low cut red dress that was obscenely short, showing off her perfectly tanned and toned legs. She had hips that Cuddy wished she had and not a tan line was to be seen. Her eyes were big and bright green, her hair was waist long and it was the most perfect shade of caramel that Cuddy had ever seen. She didn't look sick or injured, so Cuddy wondered why exactly House was dragging her into her office.
"Tell her what you just told me." House directed and the woman looked at him and then to Cuddy. This woman was so perfect it was almost ethereal, Cuddy wondered if she had a voice to match the body. The woman pulled away from House and carefully took a seat in a chair across from Cuddy's desk, taking the time to smooth out her skirt after she did.
"All I asked him was if he would help find a way to kill me." The woman said, her voice was like that of an angel. Cuddy wondered why House wasn't falling all over himself trying to impress her, or maybe it was just that she was so perfect he couldn't see himself scoring with her in a million years.
"Not that, the other thing." House snapped like he was annoyed with her.
"What's going on here? Who is this woman?" Cuddy asked, quite annoyed that she had been interrupted for one of House's stupid games. The woman stood up and offered her hand to Cuddy like she wanted her to shake it.
"Sandra Meriwether." The woman said, "You're Lisa Cuddy." For a moment Cuddy was surprised that the woman knew her name but then she remembered that it was on the door to her office so the surprise was fleeting.
"What is the point of this House?" Cuddy asked after shaking Sandra's hand. Sandra sat back down and then looked at House with a sly smile.
"I'm just waiting for her to tell you what she told me." House repeated and then folded his arms over his chest. He looked at Sandra and then at Cuddy, what could possibly be so important that House needed to storm into her office and bring this woman with him? Cuddy rolled her eyes at him and then looked to Sandra. Cuddy had taken into account the fact that Sandra had asked for House to find a way to kill her but she was convinced that this woman was just some sort of nut, House usually dealt with those people on his own she didn't need to be a part of it.
"I'm immortal, I can't die." Sandra said like she was being bothered. Cuddy bit her bottom lip for a moment and then let out a laugh.
"Look Ms. Meriwether, I really don't have time for this." Cuddy said and then looked at House, "As for you, you should know better than to--"
"I can prove it." Sandra said suddenly. This brought a stunned silence to Cuddy's lips. Was she really going to sit there and watch this nut job prove that she was immortal? No, this was going way too far.
"House please take your…interesting friend here, and leave my office." Cuddy said in a dismissive tone. House on the other hand looked intrigued by the prospect that this woman was offering to prove that she was immortal.
"Prove it then." House said, ignoring Cuddy's orders. Sandra shrugged and quickly reached onto Cuddy's desk. She picked up a long, metal, and sharp letter opener and before anyone could stop her, she plunged it into her chest right where her heart was. It went all the way in too, there was no mistaking that she had just stabbed herself in the chest.
"Oh my God!" Cuddy cried and then came quickly over Sandra who looked perfectly fine for someone who had just been impaled on a letter opener. Before Cuddy could bark at House to help her, Sandra pulled the letter opener out of her chest and set it back on the desk. It was coated with a thin layer of blood but the moment the object left Sandra's chest, the wound it left behind closed right up. Blood didn't even trickle out. Cuddy was nonplussed by this and without thinking she put her hand where the letter opener had been just moments before.
"How did you do that?" House asked, almost sounding like he was in awe of her. He took came in and took a close look at her chest, a little closer than needed until Cuddy elbowed him in the side. "Ow." He said accusingly, almost as if she had really hurt him.
"I told you, I'm immortal." Sandra replied and then sat back down. Cuddy knew that this had to be some sort of trick. She was a doctor, and she knew you didn't just stab yourself in the heart with a letter opener and walk away from it. She turned towards her desk and picked up the letter opener. It was covered in blood and a little dripped off of the end and landed on the toe of her shoe.
"You know most people would kill for immortality, why do you want to die?" House asked and it seemed at that moment that he actually believed her. Sandra turned to look at him, she had an anger in her eyes that was immeasurable.
"I've been alive for about two thousand years, I want to see what I'm missing." She said through clenched teeth. If she really was two thousand years old Cuddy did not see it in her. She looked like she was in her early twenties at most. In any case Cuddy wasn't buying any of this, but no matter how her brain clamored she couldn't refute the chest wound.
"If you are two thousand years old, why don't you look it?" Cuddy asked and then tossed the letter opener into the trash can, she certainly wasn't going to use it again. Sandra turned to look at her and swallowed hard. She looked like the next information to come out of her mouth was going to be painful.
"Because I'm also omnipotent." Sandra said softly. Cuddy's eyes went wide, what this woman really claiming that she was all powerful? No, no, no this wasn't right this was some sort of joke. Cuddy went back to her chair behind the desk and sat down on it hard.
"Omnipotent?" Cuddy repeated like she absolutely didn't believe it. "I don't suppose you want to prove that too."
"I just slammed a metal object into my chest without consequence and you still don't believe me?" Sandra asked sounding a little more than ticked off. Cuddy didn't know what the big deal was, if the girl was omnipotent then it shouldn't be so much of a burden on her to prove it. "Why don't people ever just believe me?"
"Because it's a pretty outrageous claim and if you have lived for two thousand years you should have come to expect this reaction from people." Cuddy said. House was still just standing there looking absolutely fascinated with Sandra.
"I'll show you that I'm omnipotent, not him." Sandra said as she pointed to House.
"What how is that fair I don't think--"
"Sleep, House." Sandra commanded and suddenly, just like that, House was asleep. He didn't fall over, he remained standing but he was definitely asleep. Cuddy looked amazed by this but any side show hypnotist could do that, although she was intrigued. Sandra walked over to House and got close to his ear, "You are going to leave now, do what you would regularly do and not bother Dr. Cuddy for two hours."
"Is this really going to work?" Cuddy asked not really believing that anyone could get House to leave her alone for two hours.
"Sure it will." Sandra said and then smiled at Cuddy, "Now House, you go you will wake up and forget all about this once you are out of the office." With that she shoved House forward and in a weird sort of sleep walk House left the office. Cuddy watched him, as soon as the door shut behind him he woke up and walked off, as if nothing had ever happened.
"Wow you hypnotized him, I never thought House would be susceptible to that." Cuddy said. House had a strong mind and if a person wasn't willing to be hypnotized then it wouldn't work, what she didn't realize was that House hadn't been in a trance, he was actually following orders that Sandra gave him…she wasn't lying about her power.
"Okay so how do you want me to prove it?" Sandra asked and then sat down across from Cuddy. This was a new kind of question, how in the world could Cuddy ask for someone to prove that she was omnipotent? At that point she guessed she could ask for anything she wanted and if Sandra couldn't pull through the whole thing would be over and Sandra would have to leave.
"Have you ever been to Hawaii?" Cuddy asked. She had been there once, it was one of the most amazing places she had ever been in her life, "Take me to the beaches of Maui." Sandra shrugged and before Cuddy could even blink they were standing on a beach. The sun was shining down on them, the waves were crashing gently on the sand, behind them was a hotel of some sort, and there were cabanas lined up and down the beach. Cuddy was a little disoriented by this and she took a step back and stumbled because her shoes were high heels. She fell back into the sand and landed hard on her butt. She was absolutely speechless. Regardless if this was actually Hawaii or not, she was just magically on a beach and Sandra was standing right next to her.
That's when she realized Sandra had changed from the dress she was wearing into a blue bikini and platform sandals with some black, cat eye sunglasses. She stooped down and offered her hand to Cuddy, who looked up at her and took it. She pulled her self back onto her feet and slipped her shoes off, if they were going to walk anywhere in this sand she would be hard pressed to do it in heels. She took in a deep breath, the air was salty and yet calming. She had to be in Hawaii, she just had to be.
"How in the world did you do this?" Cuddy asked, wondering if this was all an elaborate practical joke. Maybe Sandra had knocked her out and taken her to the Jersey shore, but that didn't make any sense because she was sure in the distance she could see palm trees. "This is impossible, you could…you could do anything you wanted…you're…"
"Tired and want to die." Sandra said glibly. "Is this enough to prove to you that I'm omnipotent?" She motioned around her like she had actually created the beach herself, although Cuddy knew that she hadn't, not that she wasn't capable of doing something like that.
"Why, did you come to us? Me? How can I help you?" Cuddy asked, feeling the warm sand between her toes.
"I actually came to see House. I heard he was a brilliant doctor, a force to be reckoned with, then I actually met him and realized if I revealed to him that I was omnipotent he'd go drunk with semi-power." Sandra said and then from out of nowhere a beach umbrella and two towels appeared. The umbrella was already unfurled and propped up in the sand over the towels. Sandra sat down on hers and took off her sunglasses. Cuddy was still in awe of what had happened but after another moment she sat down next to Sandra. If anyone had noticed that beach items were popping up out of nowhere then they weren't saying anything, but she guessed Sandra had the power to conceal things from the general public.
"Well if she actually came to see House, how do you expect me to help?" Cuddy asked and then crossed her legs. She did understand, though, that House would become drunk with semi-power and Cuddy was glad that Sandra could realize that. She looked out into the ocean and took in a deep breath, if only she could live here. Maybe she could ask Sandra to relocate the whole hospital to one of the Hawaiian islands. It was just a pipe dream though, it would be a major life change to move all the way out here.
"I've been watching the dynamic between the two of you, I think you can actually get him to help without him knowing about my power. You seem to keep a good reign on him." Sandra explained and Cuddy wondered how long exactly Sandra had been watching them. She could have been there in many different forms for a few days, a month, maybe even longer, but she wasn't going to pry into it. Sandra knew what she knew and nothing was going to change that.
"So you expect me to throw a hypothetical situation about how to kill someone who is essentially a god?" Cuddy asked. She couldn't see that conversation going over well, House would want to know why she was asking him about that and then he would probably write her off as crazy. "Why do you think he'll have any idea anyway?"
"He seems very intellectual, and he tends to think outside of the box, even to the extreme." Sandra said and then a drink appeared in her hand, it looked to be just a glass of Coke. Cuddy didn't care how long she hung around with Sandra she was never going to get used to seeing things appear out of thin air. Sandra took a sip of her drink and then looked over at Cuddy, "I'm sorry do you want something?"
"Diet Coke?" Cuddy asked almost as if she was unsure that Sandra could produce it. Sandra nodded and then a glass appeared in her hand and she held it out to Cuddy who took it and took a sip. "You know I really should be at work."
"Don't worry no one knows you are missing." Sandra said, "Do you think you can help me? Or do I just have to blink out of your life never to return?" Cuddy suddenly felt as if her life would be totally different without Sandra. She was startled at the thought that Sandra would just vanish and wipe her memory clean like they had never met before. Besides she really didn't want to disappoint Sandra, she wanted to help her, but first she wanted to know exactly why Sandra wanted to die.
"Are you sure you want to die? I mean you have everything you could ever want at your fingertips…you could do amazing things, cure diseases, help people, end world hunger…" Cuddy said slowly. Sandra nodded like she had heard this all before and Cuddy was sure that she had.
"You think that a world without war would be perfect? Well it wouldn't. I can make world peace happen for a few minutes but sooner or later someone is going to be jealous of what someone else has and it all starts over again. If I ended world hunger by increasing food supply then there would be a surplus of food adding to our already high pollution rate. I could invent a car that ran on water but then people would start price gouging and hording water. I've thought of all these things before it never works out, trust me." Sandra explained. She sounded schooled on the subject, like maybe she had tried doing some of these things before. It was true she could end all the war in the world but sooner or later someone was going to get mad at someone else. She could take away all weapons that currently existed but what would stop someone from producing more? "Imagine being alive for two thousand years. You get tired. You fall in love only to see the ones you love die time and again, and you can't make more people immortal because then someone would catch on and besides I wouldn't wish for anyone else to be immortal I would not place that burden on anyone's shoulders. Being able to die, I envy that like you wouldn't believe."
"Are you omniscient? Do you know that there's an after life that you are missing out on? Or do you just not care either way?" Cuddy asked and then took a sip of her coke. It was cold and refreshing, the heat there wasn't overpowering but she was getting hot. She envied the fact that Sandra could just randomly changed out of her clothes at her slightest whim.
"I am far from being all knowing but I do know there is such a thing as reincarnation. I can tell who is a soul mate with who. I can read souls of people I knew in their past lives, the thing is having to find them again among six billion people. I gave up trying a long time ago. Time is fleeting for me, when you know you have all of it in the world it just gets away from you. Before you know it a hundred years have passed and you are still alone…not able to even care any more. I am so tired, I just want this to be over." Sandra said, her voice breaking like she was going to cry in the middle of it. At that point she quickly put on her sunglasses and looked away from Cuddy.
"Why are you omnipotent? I mean how did it happen?" Cuddy asked and downed a few gulps of her drink. She was assuming that Sandra wasn't just born that way, that it was something that happened to her. If she was born that way then she would probably be sitting up there with God and Jesus and whoever else anyone believed in. Sandra took in a deep breath and let it out as a shaky sigh.
"When I was fourteen back in Rome, all around me my friends and family were dying from a plague that was washing over the town, as plagues often did back then. I went to the temple of Zeus and offered the one coin I had. I demanded that Zeus stop this plague, I said it wasn't fair, and I said that if I was as powerful as him then I would never let things like this happen. As I was walking away from the temple a storm struck up and I was hit by lightening, only to survive it. After that I had powers that I just couldn't explain." Sandra explained. Cuddy couldn't doubt the story, obviously all of this was real, although she could just be dreaming.
"Who's my soul mate?" Cuddy asked suddenly wanting to know more than anything if she had met her soul mate yet. Sandra held back a smile.
"Well you've met both of them. Which one you'll end up with is anyone's guess." Sandra said. Cuddy was taken aback by this statement. How could she have two soul mates? Weren't people only supposed to have one soul mate? She couldn't imagine how she would choose between two soul mates, but Sandra hadn't been any more specific.
"How can I have two soul mates?" Cuddy asked and then finished her diet coke.
"One's a woman and one's a man. That's how you can have two soul mates." Sandra said. Cuddy laughed and set her empty glass down in the sand, the ice cubs clinked against the sides.
"Then I'll end up with the man of course." Cuddy said not thinking of any possibility other than that. She was straight, or at least she thought she was. Although she had to say she worked with a few hot women and maybe on a drunken night she would…no, that was silly. She forced herself to stop that train of thought at the station.
"Oh so you are attracted to women?" Sandra said slyly. Cuddy looked at her, immediately her face flared up red. She looked away from Sandra, obviously the woman had read her thoughts, and why not she had every other power known to man why couldn't she read minds? "Look I'm not here to judge, I am attracted to women myself."
"Then why don't you make yourself into a man?" Cuddy asked and just as she was thinking that she wished she had more diet Coke, it appeared in her glass with fresh ice cubes and a straw. She blinked a few times and then picked up the glass and took a sip. It was cool, bubbly, and refreshing like it had just been poured. No, she was never going to get used to this.
"Cause I think women are beautiful and it shouldn't matter if I am a man or a woman. If I want a woman I go get one in this body. Then again, I can get anyone I want so it's become boring and not much of a challenge unless I don't use my powers. It's hard not to use powers though, you know when you meet a chick and you just want to close the deal and they won't give you that chance and you're just like…COME ON!" Sandra exclaimed. She looked at Cuddy who looked a little shocked and she let out a pleasant little laugh.
"Yeah I know what you mean, only for me it's always been with guys." Cuddy admitted. She had never tried to be with a female but she had always wondered what kind of pleasure she would be in if she had gone after a woman, "So who are my soul mates?"
"Can't tell you, it's against the rules. Besides it's no fun if you know." Sandra said with a wink and a smile. Cuddy started to sift through all of the people she knew, all of the people she was close to, which ones were her soul mates and which ones were just friends? And what were these "rules" Sandra was talking about? She supposed, though, that no, it wouldn't be any fun if she knew. She was just going to have to figure that out by herself.
"If one is a man and one is a woman, then what happens when I choose the man over the woman?" Cuddy asked slowly. Sandra looked at her and picked up her cat eye sunglasses and put them on skillfully.
"The woman will become your close friend and vice versa, but don't be so sure that you won't choose the woman. I know who she is and she is hot." Sandra said. Cuddy once again found herself thinking. Who, of all the women she knew, was considered "hot". Cameron yes, Dr. Hadley (or as House referred to her, Thirteen) and there were a few nurses that she came in contact with on a daily basis that she would call hot, but Cameron had found her mate…Chase. They were getting married in the spring, so it couldn't have been Cameron. Maybe it was Thirteen. She found herself entertaining that thought and blushed a little. She looked over at Sandra who just smiled at her. It wasn't a telling smile, it was just a smile and Cuddy hated her for that. "So are you going to help me out or what?"
"Yeah I think I can help you." Cuddy said after taking a few more gulps of her soda to cool her down. She didn't know how she was going to be able to help Sandra, House was fickle and if she gave him a hypothetical question to mull over he might just dismiss it and move on with his life. "I just don't know how I'm going to get House to help out."
"You ask him the question and I'll do the rest. In the mean time I'll cater to your every whim and make you as comfortable as possible. If it doesn't work out I'll leave you with a pleasant memory that will sound like complete crazy talk if you ever tell anyone." Sandra said with a bit of laughter behind her voice. Cuddy got the feeling that Sandra was telling the truth, but she would probably only use her powers in small ways and never around anyone so no one would be the wiser.
"It's a deal." Cuddy said. She held out her hand to Sandra, who shook it and then looked around, "As much as I hate to say this, I have to get back to work…you think you can blink us back there?"
"Done and done." Sandra said and suddenly they were back in Cuddy's office. Cuddy was seated in her chair behind the desk and Sandra was seated on the couch. She had changed out of her bikini and back into the dress she was wearing before. Cuddy couldn't imagine how Sandra had made it so no one knew she was missing but things didn't seem completely chaotic upon her return. She suddenly remembered that she had removed her shoes on the beach, but when she looked down she saw that they were on her feet.
"You're good." She said to Sandra, "Now if House isn't going to bother me for a few hours then I might as well get some work done."
"You're the boss." Sandra said and with that she was gone…but Cuddy knew she would be back and she also knew she would not renege on the deal.
