VKCRACK: Welcome to my first Vampire Knight Fic. It's pure crack due to my addiction to AMP. All characters are and will be out of character. Nothing is serious. It's failure in the face. Eat it…. So yeah. Enjoy! :)

Disclaimer: Don't own Vampire Knight, fools!

Chapter one: Lay off the crack, bitch!

It was just a normal day at Cross Academy; the mass of female students from the day class swarmed near the gates awaiting the princes of the night class. Zero couldn't help but to roll his eyes at the sight of the obnoxious girls. Could they get any lamer?

"BACK UP! THE NIGHT CLASS IS COMING!" Zero looked over at the woman of his affections and couldn't help but smile at her frustration. Her pain was his pleasure. And oh what a pleasure it was to see her getting aggravated as she obtained possible bruises from having to deal with those noisy freaks. But he didn't have long to stare at the girl. The gates opened and the beautiful vampires walked out, some greeting their fans, while others moved on ignoring them all together. Zero chuckled but stopped when he looked at Yuuki and they way she drooled over Kaname. Such bullshit it was!

"Why thank you for your help, Yuuki." Zero cringed upon hearing Kaname's sickeningly sweet words towards the blushing and stumbling Yuuki. As if they would ever make such a nice couple.

"I-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-it's my pleasure." Disgusting was the only word that crossed his mind. Man, would she ever stop being so blind to his real love? Probably not, he figured.

"Yuuki, back to work!" He shouted. He received a glare from the Prince of Homos, as Zero liked to think of them, and couldn't help but stick his tongue out. So the Night class managed to go to their dumb class that they never pay attention to. Zero sighed as the last of the night class obsessers left the vicinity. "Time to do our rounds. Don't get killed." Zero darted off and went to his special corner to wallow in self pity. He could never get Yuuki! He wasn't as gorgeous as the other men! He cried tears of pain and could feel the darkness crushing his barely beating heart. Life was too cruel! So, while Zero cried in emoness, a dark shadowy figure slowly approached him before jumping down in front of him. The crying boy didn't notice anything until the strange person grabbed a hold of him. All that was left was his blood tablets. Zero couldn't scream; tape was put over his mouth, muffling any and all sounds that came from him. As for moving, he was immobile from bindings. He heard a cold laugh echo in his ear before he was knocked it. Was it Kaname?

Kaname smirked as he looked down at his newly acquired toy. Kiryuu Zero was just too perfect! "You are mine now! MUWAHAHAHAHA!"

VKCRACK: Yup.... That was chapter one...! Chapter two coming soon!