Never Knew I Needed
Chapter One
Sunlight broke through the small spaces between the branches, illuminating the sidewalk. Lovino glanced up, admiring the view before noting how far the sun had set. Shit. Roderich was going to kill him the second he set foot in the house. He sighed. He could try explaining, but it's not like his foster parent would ever believe him. He contemplated sneaking in through his window, but Roderich would find out eventually. Might as well get it over with. As the two-story building came into view, Lovino felt a cold chill run down his spine. Something was definitely going to happen. He just hoped that Roderich wouldn't be too harsh.
He unlocked the front door, wiping his feet on the placemat. "I'm home" he called out to no one in particular. He looked around the foyer. Empty. Where was everyone? "Uh, Hello? Roderich?"
"Ve~Lovi! You're home! We're upstairs. Come quick!" Feliciano's cheery voice drifted down from the stairs. He obliged his brother's request, wondering what had occurred now. When he reached the second story, everyone was crowded into Feli's room "What's going on?"
"Why are you so late?" Lovino looked to the tall Austrian man standing beside Feli. His eyebrows were quirked downward.
"'Cause the principal had me cleaning out lockers." He cringed; it sounded just as bad as it really was.
"Well, while you were out cleaning lockers, your brother and I have been waiting here for you."
"Why were you guys waiting?"
Roderich turned to Feliciano. "You want to tell him?" His eyes softened a bit when they turned to look at Feli. Lovino couldn't help but notice.
"Ve~Lovi you'll never guess. Remember that college program I applied to a few months back? Well I sent in my application and they accepted me! I'll be studying art in Verona in two weeks!"
Lovino felt his whole world crash around him. His brother was going away. He was going to leave him alone with Roderich for two years. He suddenly wanted to lash out, to make his brother feel the pain he felt in his heart in that moment. But seeing Feli's exultant expression, he knew he could never do that to his brother. "So…when do you leave exactly?" He wanted to prepare himself, and to make sure he wasn't in the house when it happened.
"We leave in two days."
We? "Who else is going with you?" He didn't dare hope that Roderich would actually let him go with his brother. That road just led to disappointment. Nonetheless, a small spark lit up in his mind.
"Oh, Roderich said he would come with me! Isn't that nice? I wanted you to come too, but Roderich said you didn't like art anyways. Besides, there really wasn't enough in the bank to send all three of us to Italy. But don't look so sad, I swear I'll send you a postcard every week! About the school and…"
Lovino didn't hear anything else that his brother said. His head held low, he walked out of the room to his own, shutting the door rather harshly and locking it before throwing himself on the bed, allowing a few tears to escape.
Bullshit. It was all bullshit. It wasn't that he didn't like art; he just didn't have talent for it. For anything artistic. Roderich knew that. And he still fucking lied. That fucking bastard. He'd learned not to trust Roderich after years of being second to his own brother. It's not like he could miss how Roderich would talk softer to his clumsier younger brother, or how he gave him random presents, or how he just treated him better in general. He saw it all, but he didn't say anything because he knew Roderich was right. Feliciano was the better brother, the talented one, the friendly one. The better one. All he did was sit around, being useless. He couldn't even do that well in school. So of course Roderich would indulge in his worthier brother. He expected it.
But why would Feli believe him? It was a stupid question. He already knew the answer. Because Feliciano trusted everyone. He believed in the good of everyone, even if there was none there. I made him vulnerable, so it was Lovino's responsibility as the older sibling to protect his brother. Apparently he doesn't need me he thought bitterly to himself. Fine. Screw all of them. I don't need them either.
Anger rose in him, pushing back the hurt he felt earlier. He wiped his cheeks, removing the tracks his tears had left, refusing to let anyone see them. Once he thought he looked ready, he left the sanctuary of his room to join the rest of his family in celebrating Feli's studentship.
"Come on Lovi! You're going to love living with Antonio." Feli leaned across from the backseat of the car to talk to his older brother.
"How the hell would you know? You've never met the guy" He snapped back, still annoyed with his brother, though he had gone out to eat dinner with them last night.
"Ve~I can just tell he's going to be a nice guy."
"Whatever." Lovino stayed silent the rest of the car ride to Antonio's house. There had been much debate over where he was supposed to stay while Roderich and Feli moved to Italy. Lovino wanted to stay home, but Roderich didn't want him there alone. He just doesn't trust me not to burn down his house. Since Lovino didn't have any other family, and neither did Roderich, he'd been forced to call friends. Lovino had shot down every single offer, either finding some excuse for why it would be impossible, or they eventually did, after talked with them on the phone. Antonio had been the only one thick-headed enough to not get how hard it would be to care for a seventeen year old high-school student; that and Roderich didn't let him talk to the guy directly.
"Okay we're here." Roderich called out to the twins. Feliciano jumped out of the backseat, eager to meet someone new. Lovino moved in slow motion, pretending to struggle with his suitcase in the back. He joined the rest as they walked up to the porch. Roderich rang the doorbell twice. They could all hear pots clanging together, someone cursing, and water rushing before the door was finally opened. Lovino drank in the sight of the Spaniard, all five feet ten inches of him. He wore faded blue jeans with a button up red shirt and a white apron over it all. His face was clean shaven, but his brunette locks were wavy and tousled. But it was his eyes that caught his attention. They were strange mixture of light green, and the darkest jade uncovered. They mesmerized him.
"Hey Antonio." Roderich's voice brought him out of his stupor. He turned his head down, letting his hair cover his face while his cheeks flooded crimson. He hoped no one had seen him.
"Hey Roderich. Come in, sorry it's a bit messy, I wasn't expecting you guys to come so early." When he heard his voice, Lovino's head snapped back up, his eyes zeroing in on the Spaniard's lips and how they formed each word. It took a lot of effort just let his eyes move back to the floor, the back of his neck and ears heating up. What the hell was wrong with him? He cursed at himself for losing focus, trying to listen in on what they were talking about.
"No that's fine, we just came to drop off Lovino. We have to be at the airport in an hour anyways. Thanks a lot for agreeing to take him in."
"No problem. It does get kinda lonely in this house by myself, so I'm glad you offered to let me take care of him."
Lovino had been listening intently to Roderich and Antonio converse, dreading the time when they would say good-bye and he would be forced to stay with this stranger; then he noticed Feli beside Roderich, wiping at his eyes with the inside of his wrist. Leaving his suitcase behind, he walked over to his younger brother.
"Hey, what's wrong Feli?"
"I'm just so sad. I don't want to leave you, Lovi. I'm going to miss you so much."
Don't go. I don't want you to leave either. He tried to form his lips around the words, but they were stuck in his throat. He had never been good with expressing his thoughts. "It's okay. This is a great opportunity for you. So don't worry about me, I'll come see you soon. I graduate in a year, so just wait." It wasn't what he meant to say, but if it comforted his emotional brother, then je was okay with that. He wiped away the remaining tears with his hand, giving his brother a rare smile too. He turned back to get his suitcase, when he noticed Antonio staring at him. He was shocked at first, but his anger soon took over.
"What the hell are you looking at, bastard?" He glared at him until he looked away.
"Be nice Lovino." Roderich reprimanded him, half-heartedly. He'd already gotten used to Lovino's rough language, and knew there was no curing the boy of his bad habits. "Come on Feli, it's time for us to go." His voice had softened, as it always did when he was talking to his brother. Lovino yanked his suitcase off the ground, rolling it behind him as he walked inside the house. He didn't care to say anything to them as they left. Antonio shut the door behind him.
"Well, Lovi, what do you wanna do first?" Antonio stood in the center of his living room, talking to the Italian boy as if he was twelve.
"Don't call me that. My name is Lovino. Where do I stay?" He didn't want the Spanish bastard to act so familiar with him, so even if he was being rude, he'd put the guy off any way he could.
"Aw come on Lovi. Why don't we eat first? Just leave your suitcase there." Without bothering to see if the boy would follow, Antonio took off for the kitchen.
Lovino stared at his retreating figure, not believing his ears. Most people would leave him alone after the first snappy remark, but this guy wanted to keep talking to him. Well, might as well give him what he wants. He followed the Spaniard, picking up multiple scents along the way. He poked his head around the corner, watching as Antonio stirred a small pot over a large flame. The aroma coming off of it was so appealing, Lovino's mouth started to water. Casually, he walked into the high tech kitchen, pulling out a nearby chair and settling down into it, resting his head on his hand.
"You're just in time. I'm making pasta today, from my own special recipe. Roderich mentioned you liked pasta over the phone yesterday, so I decided to make you feel more at home any way I could." He looked up from cooking to glance down at his upset companion.
"Great." His voice was devoid of all emotion, giving no indication of whether he was really happy about it or not.
"So, I overheard you and your brother talking earlier. Why is it that he's going to college now, but you still have a year of high school left?"
"That was a private conversation dammit. Why the fuck would I tell you anything anyways?" Lovino replied, a bit of a bite evident in his voice.
"Sorry." At least he had the sense to apologize. Maybe he wasn't so dense after all. "And besides! We're going to be living together so we should get to know each other, right?" Or maybe he was.
Shit, if this idiot didn't get that he wasn't in the mood to talk, then his life would be a living hell for the rest of his stay. "Fine. You're right. We are going to be living together. So then tell me about yourself." He decided to turn the tables and ask about him instead. Hopefully he'd forget about him in the process.
"Ah food's done!" He turned off the stove, grabbed two plates, setting down one in from of Lovi, and the other at the other end of the table. He poured generous amounts of pasta on both their plates, not bothering to ask how much his guest wanted, before adding the tomato sauce. Lovino just stared at him, incredulous at how thick someone could be. Antonio started in on his food. "You're not going to eat?" He glanced up at his charge.
"Are you going to answer my question?" Lovino folded his arms across his chest, prepared to wait a long time if he needed to. He knew when someone was avoiding a question.
"But, Lovi, I asked you first."
"You also asked me to eat. It's my turn now."
"But you're not even eating." Lovino just stared at the older man. He sighed. "Okay, I'll answer your question, if you eat."
He wasn't really hungry, but he'd at least try the pasta if it shifted the focus away from him. Picking up his fork, he twirled a few strands of pasta before lifting his fork and popping it into his mouth. A multitude of flavors burst onto his tongue, exploding with flavors all at once, neither one standing out any more than the other; he nearly had to stop myself from voicing his appreciation. He swallowed a few moments later, eager to put more into his mouth. He looked up to see Antonio staring at him, gauging his reaction. He smiled at him knowingly; Lovino blushed, his cheeks turning light pink. "Answer the question dammit."
"What was the question again?" The bastard was playing him. He knew the question; he just wanted to prolong the answer.
"Why are you alone?" He changed his question, watching to see what he would do.
"What? That wasn't–" He'd been caught and he knew it. Antonio chuckled. "You're very smart." Lovino just shrugged, eating more pasta, waiting.
The Spaniard ran a hand through his hair, clearly uneasy with the topic. "Well, my girlfriend and I haven't exactly had an easy relationship. She…uh…we broke up about a month ago, and I haven't really had anything to do meanwhile. Then Roderich called me, and gave me you!"
"He didn't give me to you stupid. He doesn't own me." Lovino's reply was quick and harsh, startling Antonio a little.
"I've answered your question, now answer mine."
"Fine. Then can I go to my room?" Antonio saw the stubborn glint in his eye; he would go whether he allowed it or not, he was just lucky that he was going to explain things first.
"Yeah. I'll show you to your room after we finish dinner."
"Feli's a junior now, yeah. But he applied to a program with a University in Verona, Italy. It lets him study in college, while finishing his high school credits at the same time. He'll graduate like everyone in his class, but he'll also have college credit. I'm not interested in art or anything, so I didn't apply when I had the chance." At least, according to Roderich, that was why he wasn't motivated to do anything. "I graduate in a year anyway, so it's not like it matters. Then I'm moving to Italy, so I can study there." His speech finished, Lovino got up from his seat, walking out of the kitchen with determined steps.
"Ah, your room is down the left of the hallway, at the end. My room is at the other end, so if you need anything, don't hesitate to call." His only answer was the slam of a door. At least he found his room all right. Antonio sighed to himself. Living with this boy was definitely going to be very different indeed. He picked up his plate, glancing down to where Lovino had been sitting. His plate was empty, not even excess tomato sauce had been left behind. But it would also be very interesting.
