Noah Puckerman walked out of his room, keeping a very close eye out for his mother, or worse, his grandmother. He needed to sneak some food back to his room and didn't want any questions. Unfortunately, he was caught just as he got to the stairs.
"Noah!" His mom, Debbie was the one who called him. "Good morning. How are you this morning?"
Uh oh, something's up. "Mornin' Ma, Nonna. What's up?"
"Oh, well I made pancakes this morning." The elder woman, Connie, told him. "I know my pancakes are your favorite. Sorry you missed them."
"Yeah, me too." He responded.
"We would have woken you up, but your door was locked." Debbie added. "Oh, and also we didn't want to wake Rachel up."
Busted. His mouth fell open causing a chuckle from both the women.
"We heard you sneak her in last night. You know, you used to be a lot better at that."
He looked in between them, wondering if he was about to get his ass kicked. Actually, he was more worried about Rachel, he'd seen what his mom had done to girls she found in his bed before.
"Calm down." His mother said. "You're not in trouble."
"I'm not?"
"No. Just try to be a little less obvious about it in the future. Sarah lives here too."
He stuttered, in absolute disbelief that he was getting off the hook.
"You're lucky we want you to marry that girl." Connie told him.
"I guess. Ma, you gotta be the only mother in the world who's actually happy that her son's girlfriend slept over."
"I didn't say I was happy." She clarified. "You're not married yet."
"We're still in high school!" He argued to deaf ears.
"But first off, I'm not an ordinary mother. Years of your grief have driven me crazy. Second, Rachel Berry is no ordinary girl. She's my future daughter-in-law."
"She's goin' to New York after we graduate."
"Like we don't know you've already planned on following her there." Connie rolled her eyes.
"Whatever. So, I'ma go wake her up. If your loud asses haven't already. We'll be down for breakfast soon."
"Language, Noah." His mother scolded him as he walked back to his room.
With his hand on the doorknob, he turned back to the women. "Hey Nonna?"
"Yes Bubeleh?"
"Not that it's gonna be anytime soon or anything, but once I got a job and can afford a house and all that crap, can I give Rachel your engagement ring?"
She smiled, and Puck legit thought his mom was going to cry.
"Of course, my Noah. Nothing would make me happier."
"Cool." He said, disappearing back into his room. He didn't know how, but Rachel was still sleeping. Guess he wore her out a little the night before. Puck crouched down beside her and rubbed his hand up and down her back. "Baby? Wake up."
Her eyelids fluttered and she inhaled deeply. "What?"
"We been busted."
She didn't open her eyes, but she scrunched her nose. "Hmm?"
"Ma and Nonna know you spent the night."
Her eyes flew open and she sat straight up and shrieked.
"Shhh. Damn, baby. They already know you're here, you want their minds jumpin' to the gutter."
"Noah, how do they know? They didn't come in here while we were asleep did they? I'm naked! Oh my God, your mom is going to call my dads and they're going to kill you. Worse, I'm going to have to do the walk of shame past them, knowing that they know what we did last night."
"Your walk of shame is worse than me dying?" He chuckled. "Gee thanks. Nice to know where your priorities are."
"This is not a joke! Your mother and grandmother are so very important to you that what they think of me means almost as much to me as you do. I don't want them to think I'm a harlot!"
"I'm sure they don't think that. I guess. What's a harlot?"
She groaned and jumped out of bed, grabbing clothes as she stomped around her room. He thought it was pretty damn funny, but he couldn't remember if he locked his door or not and his little sister loved Rachel. If she heard her voice and came into her room to find her naked, he'd never hear the end of it.
"Baby. Baby, Baby, chill." He grabbed her. "They're not mad. Actually, they almost seem happy. They wouldn't say so, but I'm pretty sure they're hopin' we're making little jews."
"No-ah." She whines. "I'm never going to be able to look either one of them in the face again. This is horrible."
"They love you. More than they love me probably. Hell, I bet you could smash every one of Ma's good china and she'd still want me to marry you."
"She wants me to marry you?"
He nodded
"Because I'm Jewish."
He laughed. "That ain't the only reason."
She sighed and sat down on his bed, apparently giving that some thought.
"Now, get dressed and make yourself look like you haven't just been rolling around in bed. We gotta go downstairs and eat breakfast."
Her eyes got big again. "What!"
"Would you stop screaming! Damn, woman. My hearing function had gone down, like, at least fifty percent since we started dating."
"I cannot eat breakfast with them."
"Why not? You eat here all the time."
"Not when I'm aware that your mother and grandmother both know we're having sex, I don't."
He shook his head. "Well I done told them we would, so unless you wanna dissapoint them, you better get that hot ass presentable."
She glared at him. "This is all your fault." She grumbled, heading off to the bathroom. "You're not getting laid again until we graduate."
He knew that was crap, but let her throw her tantrum anyway, and when she kept her head down all through breakfast, he just laughed at her.
