Yume: Yeah I know I should be working on my chapter fics "EAS" and "DWTDS" but this has been stuck in my head since Friday and was preventing me from working on my other stories. So I wrote it down to get it out of my head then thought what the hell and posted it.
Disclaimer: does it look like I own One Piece
Warnings: Implied sexual themes, cursing, implied Yaoi, and pure stupidity ahead.


It was the morning after a wild night of partying for the Straw hat Pirates and Whitebeard Pirates plus a few of their friends and allies. Nami knowing full well that several people got laid last night and the Straw hat's gruff swordsman got pounded into his mattress. So Nami decided it was time to teach Zoro the universal rule of wearing nothing but the man's shirt after an amazing night of sex which she knew the swordsman had because she could hear him a third of the time through the music, cheers, laughter, and chatter of the party. The navigator silently and carefully approaches Zoro's room so she doesn't step on or wake any of the sleeping pirates littering the Sunny's deck and to not draw the attention of those who were already awake besides her. Nami is slightly surprised to find the door to Zoro's room already open, but since the lazy swordsman would never be awake at this time unless he had to so she figures his partner has left the room for the time being. Seizing the golden opportunity to launch her plan in action Nami uses all the skills she's honed over the years as a thief to snatch all of Zoro's clothes and lock them inside her room. By the time Nami had locked the door to her room with all of Zoro's clothes inside the rest of the Straw hat crew, all of the Whitebeard division commanders, Vivi, and a few pirates from the other crews were now awake and about the ship. After saying good morning to those she was acquainted with and ordering Sanji to make breakfast for everyone Nami made her way back to Zoro's room. Upon entering the room Nami finds Zoro wincing slightly as he sits up in his bed while rubbing his lower back.

"Oh good your up that saves me the trouble of waking you," Nami states announcing her presence to the swordsman who turns to look at her in response. Zoro gives Nami an irritated look as he sighs in exasperation and runs a hand through his short green hair.

"What do you want Nami," Zoro asks gruffly but the usual edge to his voice was missing and he sounded more disappointed than irritated.

"I'm here to make sure you follow the universal rule of what you must do after getting thoroughly pounded into," Nami tells the swordsman commandingly giving him a pointed look saying she won't take no for an answer. A light blush spread across Zoro's cheeks before he rests his face in his hands in annoyance.

"And that rule would be," Zoro asks seemingly in no mood to argue or fight at the moment which was fine with Nami. The less Zoro fought her the faster Nami could get Zoro in his partner's shirt for the day.

"To wear nothing but your partner's shirt for the entire day," Nami states with a tone that any normal man wouldn't even bother to argue with. Zoro whips his head up to look at Nami eyebrows raised in an incredulous look and a dark red blush covering his face.

"A-are you crazy! Fuck no," Zoro sputters out wrapping the sheets around his waist while shifting on the bed to sit on the edge of it.

"It would be a major turn on for your partner when he comes back and see you in nothing but his shirt on," Nami relays suggestively trying to appeal to the swordsman's libido. Zoro simply glares at her before slowly standing up.

"No," Zoro utters rather curtly as he walks over to his dresser with a poorly hidden limp.

"I don't think you quite understand Zoro I'm not giving you a choice you have to follow this rule," Nami says in an authoritative way shaking her head at Zoro's useless efforts as she watches him tear his drawers out looking for his clothes.

"Woman what the hell did you do with my clothes," Zoro yells at Nami as he stand up quickly, winces in obvious pain, and turns to face her.

"I put them somewhere where'd you never find them," Nami replies nonchalantly giving a half shrug as Zoro limps closer to her causing the sheet to slip lower on his waist.

"Give me back my clothes witch," Zoro barks very loudly as he glares fiercely at Nami though the usual intimidation it brought was ruined by the dark red coloring his cheeks.

"You'll get them back tomorrow," Nami declares calmly as she walks over to Zoro's bed and sits on the edge of it.

"Then what the hell am I supposed to wear," Zoro growls out clearly frustrated with the navigator and this whole ordeal.

"Your partner's shirt," Nami states plainly looking piercingly at Zoro. By now everyone on the Thousand Sunny was awake and Nami notices Marco leaning in the doorway while Haruta, Usopp, Vivi, Robin, and Izo stood gathered around the doorway.

"That's impossible witch," Zoro spits out between gritted teeth.

"Heh and all this time I thought you were an honorable, proud, and brave man, but if you're too much of a dishonorable coward then I guess you can walk around in that sheet for all I care," Nami proclaims in mock disappointment. Zoro growls swiping his right arm through the air angrily as he glares at the floor.

"There's no need to jab at my pride woman. I can't do what can't be done," Zoro states irritably shifting his glare on Nami.

"I didn't want to do this Zoro, but you forced my hand if you don't wear your partner's shirt I'll raise your debt by ten million belli," Nami says seriously rubbing her finger together to signify the amount Zoro would owe her if he doesn't do as she says.

"Damn it woman! That's robbery I don't have that kind of money," Zoro sputters out hardly believing what he was hearing.

"So you'll do what I say," Nami asks smugly seeing she was starting to corner the swordsman.

"It's impossible woman I can't do that," Zoro declares angrily shaking his head in apparent defeat as he turns slightly away from Nami. Sighing Nami stands up then walks up to Zoro placing her left hand on his right shoulder she really didn't want to do this but the swordsman really was leaving her no choice.

"Would you do it if I erased your debt completely," Nami asks in a strained voice while looking at Zoro.

"I can't," Zoro groans out shaking his head. Nami glares at Zoro with discontent before walking towards the door. Stopping in front of Marco Nami turns to face Zoro.

"You know I never thought I'd see the day when Roronoa Zoro was so ashamed of something," Nami announces disappointment and disbelief lacing her every word. Zoro hands ball up into fist at his side causing the sheet to fall to the floor pooling around his feet and with his face furrowed in anger he turns facing Nami plus the audience they gathered which grew a little bigger since Nami last check with fury and determination to prove himself shining in his eyes. Nami's disappointed look turns into a smile at seeing she unintentionally backed Zoro into a corner and it was time to deliver the finishing blow.

"I'm not ashamed it's just-" Zoro starts to say with barely concealed rage.

"Just what Zoro? You don't want to advertise you're the bottom," Nami asks crossing her arms over her chest.

"No it's not that," Zoro replies gritting his teeth.

"Was it really that bad of a lay then," Nami pushes on seeing that Zoro's close to his breaking point.

"NO!" Zoro shouts apparently insulted that Nami even suggested that.

"Then what Zoro?" Nami inquires glaring questionably at said swordsman.

"ACE DOESN'T WEAR SHIRTS!" Zoro blurts out extremely loud and angrily for the entire ship and then some to hear.

"Oh," is all Nami could say after she gave Zoro all that trouble, so she stares dumbfounded at Zoro. Robin raises an eyebrow in mild surprise and interest, Vivi attempts to stop her nosebleed, Usopp fainted from pure shock, Sanji didn't know whether to laugh or gape in astonishment leaving him with his mouth hanging open and cigarette on the floor, Haruta laughs hysterically, Izo smiles in amusement, and Luffy smiles brightly in glee.

"Wanna wear mine," Marco asks smirking devilishly only to be punched by Ace when exactly he showed up Nami may never know.


Yume: Yeah this is what you get when I have an in depth discussion with one of my best friends about universal rules and then watch a few episode of One Piece before going to sleep. I dream some weird things and they stick. Anyway tell me whatever you want in a review or pm at this point i really don't care which you do.