I wrote this at 2 am. I apologize. Inspired by a real post by tumblr user mama-bird.


Sitting on her and her girlfriend's bed, Belle giggled and looked up from her computer screen at her love sweeping the floor in the bathroom.

"Oh my god, Ruby, you have to see this."

"Okay... what is it?" Ruby climbed onto their bed and wrapped her arm around Belle.

"Look at this post on Tumblr. It's an idea for a game where one person randomly yells 'infomercial!' and the other person purposely fucks up whatever they are doing in a really dramatic way. And if the person doesn't do it, the other one gets to draw whatever they want on their face."

"Holy shit that is the best game ever," Ruby laughed, "we're so doing that. Let's start tomorrow."

"Of course," Belle grinned slyly as her girlfriend slid off the bed to resume her sweeping, "Infomercial!"

Ruby immediately threw the broom up in the air and dodged when it came back down.

"Hey, not fair! We were going to start tomorrow!" Ruby walked from the bathroom door and tackled Belle on their bed.

"Tomorrow is for losers. We're the cool kids."

"I love you, so I'll allow it," Ruby winked, "hey, you wanna-"

"Hell yes."

"Just don't shout 'infomercial'."

"Hell no."

Belle glided into the diner the next morning, with a devious intent. She took a seat at the counter and saw Ruby flipping pancakes in the kitchen.

She didn't seem to notice Belle yet. Perfect.

"Infomercial!"

Ruby jerked her arm as she was midst-flip, sending a half-cooked pancake up into the air and stuck to the ceiling.

"Fuck! Belle, you little bitch!"

"I love this game," Belle laughed and walked into the kitchen, "wow, how are you going to get that pancake off the ceiling?"

"I don't know. But if Granny finds out-"

"Ruby! Is the order done?" Granny's voice came from outside as she walked towards the kitchen.

"Shit!" Ruby whispered to her girlfriend, "Be cool, be cool!"

"They're almost done, Granny!" Belle shouted as Ruby glared playfully at her.

The door opened and Granny stuck her head in, "Hello, Belle. You two better not making out back here again."

"Nope, no making out, just pancake flipping," Ruby said nervously, "nothing out of the ordinary going on back here."

"Really? Then why is there a pancake on the ceiling?"

"Goddamn it! Belle!"

"I said nothing!"

Granny pulled a stepladder from the pantry and grabbed a spatula. She dragged the ladder underneath the troublesome pancake and climbed up as Belle attempted to hold in her laughter.

"I'm not even going to ask you two how this thing got up here, just stop messing around."

The pancake fell on the floor and Belle stopped laughing to jump out of the way. She widened her eyes and wrapped her arms around Ruby.

"Afraid of pancakes?" Ruby smirked, "so scary, aren't they?"

"Oh, piss off." Belle replied, holding her girlfriend even tighter.

Granny sighed, picking up the pancake and throwing it away.

"Behave. We are in a professional work environment. And you're burning the order."

She rushed to the stove and turned it off. Belle came up behind her, turned her around, and pressed her lips to Ruby's.

The two remained that way for a few moments before Granny appeared in the window of the kitchen.

"No making out!"

"Sorry, sorry!" Ruby said as she broke from the kiss while Belle chuckled at her, "oh, shut your face, you."

"Hell no." Belle smiled.

"Go away."

"I love you."

"I love you too."

Belle skipped out of the kitchen, satisfied with her morning.