Ginny's Dilemma
This is a missing moment from Half Blood Prince, in which Ginny seeks out help to deal with a potential problem with her new found relationship with Harry. WARNING: contains mature, sexual themes.
"Goodnight, Ginny," said Harry with a goofy grin.
"Goodnight, Harry," she replied with a loving smile. Ginny watched as Harry slowly ascended the steps to his dorm room, and disappeared behind the door.
Today was the day that Gryffindor had won the house cup. Today was the day that Harry Potter had returned from his detention to find the victory celebration in full swing. Today was the day that Harry Potter had kissed Ginny Weasley for the first time, right in front of the entire house.
Today was the worst day of Ginny's life.
The athletic redhead bounded up the steps to the girls dorm and found the door for which she was looking.
Knock knock knock
Hermione!
Knock knock knock
Hermione!
Knock knock knock
Hermione!
The sleepy eyed brunette herself pulled the door open.
"Good lord, Ginny, what's wrong?"
"We need to talk," replied Ginny in a frantic voice. "We need to talk right now!"
"Okay, okay," she replied, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. "C'mon in."
Ginny followed Hermione back to the four poster and the two girls climbed in. Hermione pulled the curtains shut around them, plucked her wand from under her pillow and cast a spell. "Muffliato!"
"What the hell was that?" asked Ginny.
"Privacy spell," replied Hermione with a yawn. "Anyone listening in will only hear a faint buzzing noise."
"So that's how you guys do it!"
"Been trying to listen in on us?" asked Hermione with a grin.
"Of course I have!" said Ginny. "like you didn't know!"
The two shared a laugh and then Hermione spoke up. "So what's this life ending problem you need me to fix?"
"Well," began Ginny. "You probably already know that Harry kissed me tonight."
"Probably?" asked an incredulous Hermione. "It's all anyone can talk about! Dean is crushed! Romilda Vane is plotting your assassination!"
"Okay then… wait, assassination?" Ginny looked concerned for a moment but then regained her focus. "What you don't know is that Dean and I… well… "
"You were sexually active?"
Ginny nodded.
"And you think that Harry is going to be upset when he finds out that you're not a virgin?"
Ginny nodded again. "That and the other thing."
Hermione frowned. "What other thing?"
Ginny hid her face under her hands and spoke. "Dean is… big, I mean very big, and I'm worried that Harry will feel like he doesn't measure up."
"So I'm assuming that you already know that he doesn't measure up?"
Ginny's eyes almost popped out of her head. "NO!" Ginny turned much redder than normal. "We've only just kissed," she said shyly. "We are nowhere near that far… yet."
Hermione considered the problem for a moment before speaking. "I can see why you're so upset," said thoughtfully. "Harry is kind of fragile, there's no telling how he'll take any of this."
"So what do we do?"
"I think we need to consult with Ron."
"You can't" said Ginny, on the verge of a breakdown. "If Ron finds out I slept with Dean he'll go bonkers!"
"Are you afraid of Ron?" asked Hermione with a sly look.
Ginny returned a defiant gaze. "Of course not, I just don't like pulling out the big guns unless it's absolutely necessary."
"You don't think that this problem qualifies?"
Ginny deflated. "Yeah, I guess it does. Let's go."
The two girls made their way to the common room, and Hermione dashed up the stairs, returning with a sleepy Ron.
"Okay," said Ron with a yawn. "What's goin' on, and why can't we tell Harry?"
"Ginny has a real dilemma, and she needs our help," said Hermione.
"All right, Gin, what's the problem?"
"I… I… I can't tell him," she finally said to Hermione.
Hermione just rolled her eyes. "Ginny is afraid that Harry is going to feel intimidated by her relationship with Dean."
"But I thought you and Dean were over?" asked Ron.
"They are," Hermione said, answering for the completely embarrassed Ginny. "But we are concerned that Harry might be upset when he learns that Ginny and Dean were together."
"He already knows that they were… Oh, you mean that they…" Ron shot Ginny an angry look. "You mean to tell me that you shagged Dean?"
"Like it's any of your business, you practically shagged Lav Lav right here in front of everyone!" Ginny shot back at him.
"But I didn't, besides you're a girl… wait till mum finds out!"
"You're not going to tell mum!"
"No, but I bet Bill will, when I tell him!"
Ginny grabbed Ron by the collar of his pyjamas and pulled him close. She whispered something in his ear that Hermione couldn't make out, but what eve it was made Ron turn three shades of red and his jaw dropped.
When Ron finally regained his composure, he spoke. "I really don't think this is going to be a problem," he said.
Both girls gave him a quizzical look.
Ron rolled his eyes and explained. "Harry can't really be mad about Ginny not being a virgin, because he isn't either."
"What?" "Who?" "When?"
"And what did Ginny say that made you so agreeable?" asked Hermione.
"Let's just say that she appealed to my sense of sibling loyalty," replied Ron.
"I'm sorry,' said Hermione. "I just can't…"
"SIBLING LOYALTY!" said Ron. "That's all you need to know!"
Ginny just smiled.
"And since when is Harry not a virgin?" asked Ginny.
"The night of Slughorn's Christmas do," Ron replied. "Loony told him that since he was the first boy to ever ask her out, her first date, and her first kiss, he should be her first… you know."
"And Harry agreed?" asked an incredulous Hermione.
"Not at first, but she was very insistent."
"I can see that," said Ginny.
"And very energetic… and inquisitive… and flexible… and persistent."
"WE GET IT, Ronald!" said Ginny.
"Like a marathon runner, Harry told me, tireless."
"Enough!" Ginny said. "That's one problem down. " She turned to Hermione. "What about the other thing?"
"What other thing?" asked Ron.
Hermione turned to Ron. "Ginny is worried that Harry will feel… inferior, compared to Dean."
"Inferior? That's Barmy, Harry's got fame and money and he's bloody powerful and… oh, you mean his bits?"
"Well, yeah," said Ginny. "Dean is HUGE!"
Ron fell over laughing and pointing at Ginny.
"What?" she asked.
"You really don't know, do you?"
"Know what, Ronald?"
Ron composed himself and started explaining. "Do you remember that enchanted measuring tape that Umbridge used to measure Professor Flitwick?"
"Yeah."
"Well, you both know that Seamus is a right pervert, yeah?"
"That's what they say," replied Hermione. "Supposedly some of the things he makes the younger students do is scandalous."
"Well I don't know about that, but he did get his hands on Umbridge's measuring tape."
Hermione and Ginny both looked confused.
"Start of term this year, he managed to use it to measure everyone in our dorm, and he wasn't shy about telling us the results."
"So what were the results?" asked Hermione.
"Ron looked a bit embarrassed. "There was a tie for smallest, and then first, second and third place."
"And where did you come in?" asked Hermione with a smirk.
"we are not here about me, we're here for Ginny," Ron said smartly. "And I came in third, thank you very much."
"Third?"
"Third, ahead of Neville and Seamus, but behind Harry and Dean."
Ginny threw up her arms in exasperation. "So Dean was first, Harry second and you're third! How does that help my problem?"
"You don't get it, sis, Dean wasn't first, Harry was."
Ginny's eyes got really big, and her jaw dropped.
"Dean measured in at eight inches, and Harry was ten, so you see, you've got nothing to worry about."
"Ten," muttered Ginny. "Bigger than Dean?"
"He's also bigger the other way," said Ron. "What's the word…"
"Girth," added Hermione. "It means bigger around."
"What am I going to do?" cried Ginny.
"What? Problem solved, no need to worry about hurting Harry's feelings," said Ron.
"Harry's feelings? Who cares about hurting Harry's feelings? What about my bottom?"
"WHAT?"
"Are you scared that Harry will be too big for you?" asked Hermione. "Because the tissue of the Vagina is very flexible."
"EEWW!" said Ron. "Don't say vagina, call it a fanny, like everyone else. Vagina just sounds dirty!"
"And Fanny doesn't?"
"Well how about Twat or pussy? Anything but the V word."
"Would you two focus! What am I going to do?" said Ginny angrily. "Are there exercises I can do, or something?"
"Yes, there is," said Hermione with a grin. "It's called sex and you have to do it with Harry until your… twat," she said with a glare at Ron. "Can handle it."
"But I'll be impaled," she cried. "Skewered! He'll split me like an over ripe melon!"
Ron snorted, drawing glares from both girls. "That's what Harry told me Luna said; You'll split me like an over ripe melon!"
Hermione rolled her eyes.
"And what if he wants… other things? I'll never get that thing into my mouth, and my bum is out of the question!"
Ron laughed again. "Luna said that too, You aren't getting that thing anywhere near my bum!"
"You're not helping, Ron," said Hermione.
"She did try the thing with her mouth, though," he added. "Harry said she was brilliant at it."
Hermione thought for a moment. "Maybe you should talk to Luna, maybe she would have some advice."
"You think?" asked a hopeful Ginny.
"Look," said Ron. "As I see it, your boyfriend having a big weiner isn't very high on the impending doom problem list, so I'm going back to bed." Ron turned and started up the steps.
"Ron," called Ginny. "Thanks."
"Anytime, sis."
"And please don't mention this to Harry."
"Are you kidding?" replied Ron with a grin. "If I weren't afraid of forgetting my name or how to go to the potty, I'd obliviate myself right about now."
Ron and Ginny shared a laugh.
"He's right, though" said Hermione. "As problems go, it could be a lot worse."
"I suppose," replied Ginny. "But now I have to find some good exercises for my jaw!"
Hermione and Ginny laughed as they climbed the stairs to return to bed.
