Disclaimer: I own NOTHING of J.K. Rowling' "Harry Potter". The only person that belongs to me is Amalin… And of course any other characters I create throughout the making of this fanfic.

A/N: This fanfic was originally meant to show why I should never be made into a Hogwarts character. However, upon starting to write it, I realized that only in very few ways did it at all show anything that in any way would be something I would do. Therefore, this is about a Girl who finds out she's a witch and believe it or not doesn't want to go to Hogwarts and because of this she creates great amounts of mischief and graces everyone by letting them hear her witty*cough* remarks. This is your one last chance to turn back before I begin. If you don't like my fanfic because of certain content then don't say I didn't give you another change to turn back. For those who decide to stay, I think this will be great fun regardless of language. Thank you.

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Discovering I'm a Witch

I used to think I was normal and so did everyone else. Till my parents decided to utterly destroy my life by telling me that, surprise, surprise! I was a witch. I know when most people think of witches they think "Ew!!! Green faced warty witch, GET AWAAAAAY!!!!" and then being the pussies they are they run away and hide. Well, witches are nothing like that. I'm a witch, I'm NOT green and I'm MOST DEFINITELY not covered in warts.

Silly muggles, yeah, that's what you are. Don't know what a muggles is? Well, you're not magical, you're what I used to be; absolutely nothing. That is, before I found out I was a witch.

By now you're probably wondering who I am. Well, hello you muggle pussies. I am Am, short for Amalin. I come from a family where my parents are out to totally and absolutely destroy my life. Just when things start to look good, they always come rushing in to put an end to it. This being just another example; here, I'll show you what I mean.

I was just getting home from school. I had had the greatest day I had ever had in what I would consider my life. The cutest boy in school had finally noticed me. ME, of all people he chose to notice today; he notice me. Not that there was anything wrong with me I guess, other than the fact that my hair was Shit brown and it never fell the way I wanted it to. There was also the fact that I was slightly overweight and the only reason I didn't get picked on by people because of my weight problem was because I was so much taller that I could knock them into the ground rather easily. The only two things I truly liked about myself were my creativity and my blue eyes.

When my parents told me that I was a witch, I FREAKED!!! I got so angry. I just couldn't ever win in my life and I was tired of it. I became so angry that my mother could have sworn she'd seen smoke coming out of my ears and I started to make the house rumble as if there were an earthquake that attacked only our house.

With time I'd learned to accept the fact that whether I liked it or not, I was going to this Magic School for Prissies called Hogwarts.

My parents got all excited when I finally said I would go. "Like I had a Fucking Choice" I thought to myself.

Once I saw Diagon Alley though, I must admit I didn't mind the Hocus Pocus world as much anymore but, I still hated that whether or not I liked it, I had to go to a school that I didn't think I would even like. My parents saw that I was definitely not a 'happy camper' as they called it, so, the decided to take me somewhere they thought I'd enjoy a great deal.

 "A BROOM SHOP!?!" I yelled. "WHAT, YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS!?! NOW YOU'RE TRYING TO GET ME TO BE MORE ACTIVE IN THE CHORES!?! FUCK YOU" I said pointing at my mother. "FUCK YOU" I said pointing at my father. "AND I DON'T EVEN KNOW" I said pointing at the shop keeper "BUT, FUCK YOU TO!!!"

As you can see my temper shone through… just a tad.*cough*

After my recent outburst in the shop, my parents decided that perhaps getting me a broom would not be the right course of action to take to make me a 'happy camper' again and instead they bought me a book called "Quidditch Through the Ages", which upon my reading of the book made me feel quite silly for the actions I had taken in the shop. Um…sorry Mr. Shop Keeper… sir… *cough*

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AN: Well, that was interesting… *cough* In case you were wondering what reflected me in this chapter, if anything, it was the whole do stupid actions without thinking and then regret them later… thing. *cough* Hope you enjoyed!!! Please read and review…