Disclaimer: I do not own any part of Inuyasha, just a fan of Sesshoumaru and Rin…

I dreamed a dream

She found herself roaming aimlessly through the forest-like path, enveloped in a haphazard combination of midnight fog, piercing branches, thick-thorn shrubs and sharp rocks which were cutting just so slightly at her bare feet. She looked up, praying that the stars might give her a sense of direction but to no avail. It was a moonless, starless night sky; its black cloak mysteriously curtaining all hopes.

Where am I? Why am I here? A chilling shiver tinkled down her spine. It was from the cold of the night, she decided immediately, not that of fear of this unfamiliarity. Even though she could have sworn she hadn't the faintest idea where she was, she seemed to have known… somehow… and that feeling of not knowing and yet know… was what she was desperately trying to understand within herself at this very moment.

A sudden white light shone from a distance, catching her attention and bringing her vision to a ghostly silhouette. It was a… male…without a doubt... with silver white hair touching his knee. Even from afar, she could tell he was tall, extremely and unbelievably tall, his features defined, sharp. His ghostly golden eyes were seemingly peering in her direction and yet, not looking at her. As the night breeze tussled his silvery fringe, it revealed an imprint the shape of a crescent moon on his forehead. On his almost perfectly flawless white skin were brick-red strips, two on each side of his cheeks. Tattoos? But who in the right mind would do that to their faces?

Without a hint of warning, the figure turned and started pacing away… further and further into the myriad of forest shadows.

"Wait!" She waved with obvious desperation. "Wait! Sesshoumaru!"

Almost instantaneously, her hands moved to cover her own lips. Wh…at did I just say? Sessho…what? She could not remember it anymore. What was that again? What do I just do? Se… what? She felt her memory fleeing from her as if the wind had carried it off.

Her focus returned to the white male figure. He seemed to have stopped, though he hadn't shown any signs that he would turn and look at her again.

"Wait up!" She decided to bravely go to him.

Before a step could be taken, a brilliant light lit up the darkness. Her hands moved to shield her eyes, closing them at the same time. In the next second when she opened them, the figure was no more. In its place was a ball of light, hovering in mid air for a while and then sped off into the distance.

"beep,beep,beep….beeP, beEP, bEEP, BEEP!" Rin's hand clumsily felt through all the buttons on the alarm, randomly pressing just to make it stop.

She rubbed her eyes, taking a deep breath from the cool air-conditioned room as she pulled the quit over and covering up to her nose. She closed her eyes for a few seconds, enjoying this simple serenity, and then pushed herself out of bed. Briefly noticing that the one beside her was still sound asleep, she didn't wish to wake him. Quietly she opened the glass door of their bedroom and walked down the stairs. Passing the living area, she stepped onto the wooden platform of her balcony and looked out at the huge expense of looming trees before her.

She sighed, contented. She loved her house, how there was nothing but trees surrounding it. For one who lived in the city, it is rare to find a place as such...a forest within a city… Of course it had not come inexpensive, but, being the company's head of the performing division, together with her hubby's income as a professional cellist in the orchestra, it was still comfortable.

Her fingers moved instinctively to massage her forehead. She vaguely recalled that strangest dream she had the previous night. Of course everyone had a fair share of odd dreams and this one… it was STRANGE. Whatever it was that she had dreamt, she could no longer remember the details. What remained of it was a very strong feeling… a feeling of something …unknown… familiar… warm… white…And it felt so strong and real, it gave her prickly tingles from the tips of her fingers down to her toes.

She breathed out a lengthen sigh. It must be last night's performance ending so late that she only had five hours of sleep. A conductor friend had asked her to help play the violin for a string ensemble chamber concert and she said yes… of course… as she loved being a musician and she loved the stage, the orchestra. In fact, she had given one of her dance groups the slip last night. She was supposed to drop by their night rehearsal before an important competition.

Right! She had to make up to them by paying them an inevitable visit this morning. Rin made up her mind. I'll just drop by, show my face, watched them for twenty minutes and then, I'm politically right and off the hook.

Among her performing groups, dance was the least of her interest. They were also the most under achieved. They were always viewed as an interest group, rather than a competitive one. Since young, she was trained as a classical musician and had remained very much so to now. Hip Hop Funk dance B Boy was really not her forte.

Oh well! She decided. No harm just saying hi to the dance instructor.

New and arranged by the personnel in her dance division, he had been with her dance group for little over a year now and in her busy schedule, Rin had never found an opportunity to "just say hi". Or rather, she never felt the need to. Though words were going round the company about him, words like "incredibly tall", "deadly cool", "cute smile", she never found the time to ascertain that.

Walking down the richly carpeted corridor, Rin stopped in front of the dance studio. Even with the sound proofing doors, she could hear the loud music from within. Peeping through the tiny tinted glass on the studio door, she could vaguely the dancers at their rehearsal. Squinting her eyes to the obstructed corner, she could only make up a very slim figure. He didn't look incredibly tall, as in the rumours.

Here goes… Taking a deep breath, Rin flipped the handle of the studio and opened its door. In an instant, the dance instructor turned to look at her, instinctively standing up from his half sitting position on the top side table. Slowly, Rin's eyes rose to his actual height. He IS tall! Rumours' right! She corrected herself internally.

Seeing that he did not speak, Rin politely broke the silence, since she had been the intruder to his rehearsal.

"Hmm… Hi.. morning," she gave a sheepish grin. "Do you mind if I hang around and watch you guys for a while?"

"Sure. Why not?" His voice was deep, rich, and sensual and he flashed her a cool boyish smile.

"Thanks," she smiled back, trying her best to look composed.

He gestured her to sit like he was half sitting and together, they sat, watching the rest of the rehearsal. Rin observed as he carried on his job, making comments for the individual sections and correcting the dancers on the choreography. At suitable points, he demonstrated what he wanted and, for the first time, Rin's eyes were open to how attractive dance was, or rather, a dancer could be.

She also observed how refine and sharp his features were. His silvery hair was tied in a neat low pony tail and hanging past his waist. His built was tall and slender, with extremely long arms, legs and even fingers. He didn't deliberately dress up, just a pretty worn casual T and dance pants. As a dancer, his movements were swift, precise and in good taste.

Time seemed to just whiz past and Rin stood to her feet when the dancers moved out of the studio. She greeted the instructor who was now marching toward her a smile. This time, he spoke first.

"So… what do you think?" He asked, lifting his eyebrow and looking down at her, his tone curious.

Rin blinked rather obviously, not understanding his question and he gestured pointing to the dance floor.

Rin gulped. "Oh…Hmm… I… well… I don't know what to think actually. I don't really know about dance," she admitted honestly. "But I just liked it" She ended with a smile that she hoped would erase his negative impression on her "air-head-useless" comment.

He raised his eyebrows again, this time, the corner of his lips curved with a slight grin. He did not respond to what she said.

"Hmm... I mean... I'm not a dancer. I'm a musician." For the first time, she said it as though that was a crime.

"You are really?" He seemed pleasantly amazed. "What do you play?"

"The violin… mainly," she suddenly remembered she had forgotten the most important question. "I'm sorry. What's your name? By the way, I'm Rin." Ceremoniously, she stretched out her hand.

He received her offer with a warm and firm handshake. "Sesshoumaru…they call me Sessh…"

His touch was electrifying and Rin retracted her hand, a mixture of shock and confusion washed through her. Why did this feel… so familiar? She could not comprehend.

"Nice to have met you, Sesshoumaru… hmm..Sessh…," She gathered what was left of her composure. "I'll be helping out in the upcoming competition so I guess I will see you again…soon."

"It is a pleasure to have met you too," He nodded, a hint of a smile in his tone. "…Rin"

His voice, that voice, calling her name… It echoed another wave of peculiar doubt and bemusement within her. With a quick goodbye, she quickly fled the studio.

As Rin marched back to her office, she tried fruitlessly to stop herself from shaking. What is wrong with her? How did one mere dance instructor cause her to feel this way? She slammed close her room door, shaking her head a few times. She rummaged through her drawers, fishing out her stash of aspirins and took two. Then, she sank into her chair, her eyes fluttered closed, taking a few slow breaths.

Perhaps I'm just too tired. She agreed to her internal voice of self deduction. I need to take it easy with this.

The dreams returned, like fragments from an old movie, a bi-headed dragon, something qurky and green breathing down her neck, a tall white figure which she called "my lord"…

Rin awoke, her breath heavy, the extreme dryness in her throat made her cough a few times to clear it. Taking a few of water from the glass by her bedside table, her brows furrowed as fragmented segments of her dream returned.

That tall white figure…have I seen him somewhere before? Was it a previous dream? Or…? She slapped her forehead with adequate force, wishing that would really help to clear her thoughts.

She turned the alarm clock to look at the time. Still early… She turned it off, paced downstairs to straight to her usual chair at the balcony. The trees were dark, rustling with urgency, signalling an imminent morning storm.

Today was the day of the dance competition… his first real showcase for the company.

She had promised to be there. Somewhat from her initial encounter with him, within that short timeframe, she had felt his intense passion and dedication to dance, to his work. She could identify with that intensity, being an artist herself, though of a different genre. In performing arts, it was never about making money. Those who really wish to be rich can forget about going into the arts. It is always about passion… passion driven and with a humble heart to seek perfection in every practice, every performance and every competition.

And for the first time, she saw a connection between them, a possibility of friendship between funk and classic…B Boy and Ballerina.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Let's go," Sesshoumaru spoke, at the same time, beckoning the dancers to go on the bus which would bring them to the competition venue. When every dancer had boarded, Sesshoumaru turned to Rin, gesturing her to hop on in the most gentlemanly manner.

"Oh… I'll be driving there…myself," She pointed sheepishly to her white VW Polo at the far end of the company carpark.

"So, I guess you would reach there before us then." He flashed a smile. "See you there."

Struggling at the directions, Rin finally made it to the venue after a few wrong turns and even going into the wrong carpark. She was never an excellent driver but…oh well.. who can be good at everything?

Outside the theatre, from a distance, she could see Sesshoumaru's team gathering at the assigned location, waiting for their turn. Taking a few deep breaths to cease her panting from a short sprint from the carpark, Rin strolled up to them, trying to blend into the mixture of performers and supporters, hoping her late presence wouldn't be noticed. She was watching the dancers do their final warm-ups when a deep voice spoke beside her.

"Lost your way?"

Darn it! He noticed! She lowered her head, squeezing her eyes shut in despair and embarrassment. She took in a deep breath.

"Hmm…Yup…" She turned to meet his eyes with an awkwardly forced grin. "I'm kind of used to parking at the concert hall end. Forgot that the dance theatre is here."

He did not respond to her explanation, merely nodded with a smile.

The rest of the morning went quite smoothly and the dancers gathered at the porch, boarding the company bus. Sesshoumaru gestured the bus driver to go without him and that surprised Rin.

"You are not going back with them?"

"No," He replied plainly. "I have another engagement elsewhere."

"Oh…" She noticed the seemingly heavy bag that he was carrying. "Can I offer you a lift?"

"Sure. Why not?" His tone was one of thanks even when the actual words weren't said. "Just drop me at the nearest train station."

Rin nodded.

"Where are you going, actually?" She asked as she steered the car pass the exit gantry.

"A studio in the west."

Definitely out of the way… she concluded instantly even when she had entertained the thought of driving him to his destination. Well, the train station it is then.

The nearest train station was just a mile ahead, but there was a long string of cabbies blocking the drop-off area.

"Hey hey…you… missed…" He was a bit shocked when the car passed by the station drop-off. He laughed politely.

"Ah… I'm sorry." She made a silly face at him. This offer was really going to prove him right about her poor sense of driving. "There were so many cars I… didn't know where to stop."

"It's ok," It was obvious he was chuckling under his breath. "There is a U-turn right….in front…" He pointed.

"Where?" Rin peered around desperately and seeing it, right before her, she tried to filter but there were just too many car speeding past on her right…. And she finally missed it. "Sorry… I missed it…"

She only dared look at him from the corner of her eyes. His eyes were closed too, for split second and he did not speak.

"Hey, know what…" She suggested finally. "Can I just send you to where you wanna go?"

"You sure about that?" He asked, chuckling. "It's quite a distance away. You are not in a rush?"

'No…no…It's really alright."

"Okay then, thank you."

The long journey turned out to be an interesting one. Rin listened as Sesshoumaru shared openly about how he had a passion for dance since young and how he had to quit dancing to go into another industry because there was simply no market for it and he could not make enough to survive. He used to be a medic but he decided to leave the job because of a tragic incident where he was unable to save a little girl. She was alone at home when an accident happened. She was already not breathing when he arrived at the scene. Even though Rin felt that it was clearly not his fault, she sensed that he had definitely bestowed upon himself the responsibility of her death.

"I really feel happier teaching dancing," he said, seemingly jokingly. "At least, I wouldn't cause anyone else to die."

Rin frowned, sensing the slight reminisce of his pain. "It's really not your fault, but I guess you already know that." …she knew that was not the point.

He smiled in appreciation of the intent to comfort. "In recent two years, the dance industry seemed to have picked up suddenly and I started to have engagements everywhere. So I guess it was a good change after all."

She returned his smile with a nod of agreement. "And I'm really glad you joined us. You've really done a good job with the team, you know?"

He chuckled. "Well, we have yet to receive the result. It is too early to say it's good, don't you think? I didn't quite get enough time to work with them."

Oh yes… that reminded her. They were meant to be back at the competition venue to receive the result that evening.

'Well, I personally do not think everything is about results." Rin spoke her mind. "They put up a good show. Though it wasn't perfect, the effort put in was obvious and it was their best … and I think that's the most important."

"Well, that's the first I've heard so far. Don't all companies want the gold medal?" He chuckled, his tone with a little disbelief. "I figured the company might just drop me if I fail this round."

"Who on earth gave you that idea?" She shook her head in an attempt to assure him. "Like I've said, not everything is about awards. As long as they have done their best and we have helped them do their best, that is enough…isn't it?."

He smiled, nodding and seemingly deep in thoughts. "You… are … different."

Rin laughed. "So are you…"

Finally, the car stopped at the porch of the studio Sesshoumaru was meant to teach. They bid each other a quick goodbye-and-see-you-later-at-the-results-announcement.

Reaching her own destination, she felt a sudden urge to text him something she wanted him to know.

"Hi Sessh, this is Rin. Just want to thank you for the wonderful effort you've put in. However it turns out later, not important. Thanks again."

"Thanks for your encouragement, Rin. See you later."

At the audience stalls of the dance theatre, the two practically jumped out of their seats and hi-fived when they heard the announcement that the team received a Silver award. It was the first time ever that the company's dance group had been accredited this for a National based competition.

"Thank you Sesshoumaru. You've really done a wonderful job!"

The dance instructor chuckled. "Thank you for your support."

That comment sent a definite guilt trip for Rin. She really hadn't done anything for him. Suddenly, all the recollection of how it was reported to her that the dance team was short of a venue to even practise and they had to go to the most remote areas of the company to do so. He was also given the most haphazard and ill-disciplined team… He really had achieved this completely on his own… definitely.

As they strolled out of the theatre, Rin noticed how dark it had become.

"Hey, you know, it's kind of difficult to get out of here. Can I give you a lift to where you want to go?"

His brow furrowed only slightly, then, he nodded. "Sure. Why not? Thanks."

"Where are you off to?"

"Heading home, I suppose," he stated rather certainly.

"Where do you stay?"

"In the west end, near J Point."

"Oh, really?" Rin smiled. "That's where I used to stay, before I moved nearer to the company. I missed that neighbourhood so much."

Indeed, after moving nearer to the city, Rin missed the suburbs, the little cafeterias selling the simplest breakfast which she would just drop by before going to work. There was none of that now, only sandwiches prepared daily for her to bring to office.

On the journey back, their conversation became more in depth as they shared about everything under the sun. Sesshoumaru revealed more about himself, his father being a boxer and he had an elder brother and a younger one. Knowing the violent traits of his dad, he had always managed to avoid the brunt of the anger by staying out of friction amongst the siblings. He hated to see how his brother were beaten up and preferred to stay out most of the time. At the last year of high school, he challenged his mom to a bet that if he had aced all subjects, she would let him whatever he wished. And when he did, he chose to not go to college and pursue dancing instead. He had a team of friends with similar passion back then but as time passed, many dropped out and became delivery boys, cabbies, sales… jobs that actually made a living. He was the only one left behind. That was when he became a medic.

Rin listened to his life story in silence. This was the first time she had met someone with a character that was so strong and resilient to the unavoidable unpleasant encounters in life. He was so …different… from her. She had lived a sheltered childhood, dad and mom provided everything she needed. She never had the chance to choose, never dared to fight back even when she was forced to learn the piano though she hated it. She obeyed her parents and finished college, got a regular job. Somewhere in between, she had found her love for the violin and picked it up on her own.

Directed by Sesshoumaru, Rin finally reached the block where he lived. It was the most average of suburbs neighbourhood. He had come from the simplest most ordinary neighbourhood…the most boy-next-door-ordinary family…dressed in the simplest comfortable clothes…was…someone with such an outstanding character.

His stories, his image… that was all that was on her mind throughout the journey home.

It was true that she had achieved much more tangibles in life, a nice house, a decent car, above average income… but…he had dared to choose a different path for himself. He had dared to pursue his passion …dared to be different.

Walking to her lift, she heard her phone beeped a message. She flipped it up and looked. It was Sesshoumaru.

"Thanks for the ride. It is indeed a time to celebrate. Thanks for everything. Good night."

She texted him back immediately.

"I should be the one thanking you. Good night."

And the dreams continued, becoming more vivid, clearer, more intense. Though they were still largely segmented, they were slowly piecing together a story… one moment, she saw herself as a little girl in orange checked yukata, running gleefully behind the tall white figure, calling his name… Sesshou…maru…sama… in another, she was much taller, much older, still with her lord. That time, she had felt that their relationship had somewhat changed, the feeling of faith, of wanting to be with him …and ….love…She felt their vast difference, though she couldn't understand why. She saw their lives together as a couple… against all odds…

Rin's eyes blinked wide open as she awoke from the dream. She had a realisation this time. Though she still couldn't see clearly the face of the white figure, she…felt him… felt his presence, not in the dream, but here, in reality. He felt like someone she knew. He felt like…. Sessh?

She shook her head to clear her thoughts. It wasn't that she had deliberately done so but through the time spent with him, she admitted that she had felt a sort of connection between them. Since that night after she had sent him home, she had regularly popped by to his dance practices and chatted with him. She would watched his rehearsals, smiling back at him whenever he flashed one at her through the reflection of the mirror at the dance studio while demonstrating some dance moves. He was indeed an enchanting dancer, a gifted performer, one who was born for the stage. Rin found his smile most captivating, so much that she had to step back to reflect why she was feeling that way.

Why is she feeling this way? This attraction towards his dancing…or ….might be…just…him… was becoming more and more unsettling with each encounter, each conversation with him. This strange connection she felt… It was as if they had known each other somewhere…. as if in a past lifetime….But no matter. There was no possibility of any romance between them. Period. This was a statement that was somehow recurring continuously in her mind lately. Why was she even thinking of that? She shouldn't be. She could not.

Since alerted by her personnel in the dance division, Rin had made some new discoveries about Sesshoumaru. The contract between her company and him was to be renewed after the previous competition they had won. To make it more specific, the contract was not between them, but, between her company and his dance company. He came under Studio Naraku, one of the famous, if not, the most famous dance company in Tokyo. She was to meet up with Naraku soon to discuss the terms of their new contract. Through an exchange of email addresses, Rin was startled to see his labelled as .

Eighty-four? She felt her heart sank to the deepest abyss she could imagine. That would mean he is…. twenty-eight this year. He…is…young… compared to her thirty-eight. They are ten years apart!

Rin laughed rather bitterly at herself. Look, Rin. Look at the impossibility even if you had even vaguely entertained the idea of a Sesshoumaru-and-Rin future.

Number one: He is TEN years younger than you! And trust me, you are no cougar, Rin. Do not EVER become one.

Number two: You are married!

Number three: You have a working relationship with him. Isn't romance the biggest tattoo under such circumstance (not mentioning reasons number one and two already stated above)? Yes, he had been friendly but he could be just being politically correct, since he is working for your company. When you offer him rides, he took it because he was polite enough not to refuse. When you visited his rehearsals, he was also smiling because he was being….polite… And that goes for all the rest of it. Rin, he was just being polite, NOT interested!

Number four: Rin! Do you even need a 'number four'? Aren't the above enough to erase even the most remote possibilities?

Friends. She concluded. That was all they could ever be.

From that moment on, somehow, she found that she was not able to pick herself up from that internal abyss. It was dark, heavy, confusing, helpless, trapped and with no hope to smile with a light heart anymore.

The meeting with Naraku was the worst experience Rin had ever encountered. He was a shrewd businessman, one who had only money in mind, with absolutely no passion in the arts, in dance. When Rin spoke about insisting on Sesshoumaru to be the dance instructor from their company, Naraku debated that his company policy was to switch their instructors around. His reason was that they were all just as good. But Rin knew what he was thinking. Basically, he just didn't want to be held ransom by one single instructor. If Sesshoumaru were to switch dance companies, Rin's would have followed him and there would go his business.

When Rin spoke about possibilities of bringing the dance group for overseas dance workshops, Naraku was dead against the idea, stating that his company could offer the best workshops. Thus, there was no necessity to do so. After a good one hour, she decided that there was no way she could get anything across to him. This man was impossible.

After returning to her office, she sank into her chair, her eyes closing to take a short break. Then, she picked up her phone.

"I just met Naraku just now. Sigh."

After an hour, his reply came.

"You don't sound too happy."

"Is he the owner of the company?"

"No, it's his uncle."

"Oh … it's a family business."

"Yup"

"He is definitely good at business…cos… that's all he cared about."

"What happened?"

"Long story."

"Try me."

Rin sighed. She wasn't sure if he should even know all of this as she had considered Sesshoumaru's position…but she just wanted to share it with him…as a friend…

"The truth is… I'm really mad with him."

"Why?"

"He doesn't seem to understand the passion in….in everything that we are doing here."

"He's quite a decent chap at times."

"Really? Why can't I feel that? I told him about our overseas trip and all he said was Studio Naraku can have workshops of equal quality that wins awards. He doesn't understand it's not that I think he's doing a bad job. It's about bringing our dancers to experience the world. Not everything is about awards."

"I know… but not everyone feels the same way as us, Rin. I had my fair share of differences with him but mostly, I just let him win."

Rin pouted. "Well, but I don't have to. I'm going to make his uncle gets a piece of my mind on this!"

"lol Cool down gal… you are too agitated. Need to sleep it off."

Rin sighed. "I guess… good night."

"Night."

The contract was eventually renewed successfully, and Rin lodged her displeasure on Mr Naraku, the nephew to Mr Naraku, the uncle. She found an apology in her email and she was quite pleased with how everything was resolved. She made sure they knew that the contract was renewed solely based on Sesshoumaru being the instructor, not anyone else.

There was an upcoming performance, a community outreach, at a hospital for patients and visitors. Sesshoumaru gladly took up the offer. They had a meeting that afternoon with the hospital personnel to view the performance venue.

"Hey…hey…Rin… I think you missed the entrance to the carpark," Sesshoumaru pointed, his tone a little worried.

"SORRY!" Rin cringed as she missed it. "I….I will do a U-turn and get back here again."

Sesshoumaru chuckled.

Embarrassed, she stepped on the accelerator.

"Hey… hey…Red lights!" His tone was anxious this time.

Rin stepped hard on the brakes and they both jumped when the car screech to a halt. She gulped, sticking out her tongue at his rather startled face.

"Sorry… I… I didn't see that."

"You …are…quite reckless…: He said finally, after a short silence.

"I'm usually reckless when driving alone," She admitted.

Sesshoumaru's eyebrows rose questioningly and she caught that.

"I mean… I don't want to put someone else's life in danger as my passenger."

He did not answer to that, just nodded.

"You don't have a car, Sesshy, but somehow, I think, you CAN drive, can't you?"

He looked a little surprised. "Yes, I do."

Rin smiled. Somehow, something told her that he was capable of anything. "Then, perhaps next time, you should spare us both of my poor driving by taking over the wheels."

He did not answer to that.

Silence followed between them till the car was parked and they strolled together to the outdoor podium where they met up with the personnel from the hospital. After a short conservation, they realised an obvious problem with the location. There was no power source!

"Hmm…are you able to dance without music?" The lady from the hospital asked.

Rin stared at her with total disbelief! Is she nuts? How can anyone dance without music?

"I do not think that is an option," Sesshoumaru replied coolly. "May I know where your nearest power source is?"

"Hmmm… Over there in the cleaner's room," she pointed toward a far end, a very far end. "It is really far and you would probably need at least a twenty-meter extension cable."

"Can your hospital provide this cable for us?" Rin asked politely, though she wasn't quite pleased with the situation. Shouldn't they have the basics before they even asked them to go?

"Erm… not sure." The lady replied rather helplessly. "I don't think we have something like that."

"It's alright," Sesshoumaru was still as composed as ever. "I will think of something."

As they strolled back to the car, Rin was still wondering how Sesshoumaru could solve this.

"Can we even buy a twenty-meter cable at the DIY stores?" She had never seen one that long.

"Nope. I don't think so," his tone deep in thoughts. "But I can make one."

"You can?"

"Sure." He nodded. "It won't be difficult. Just buy the wires, the sockets and the casing and put everything together."

"Okay," She smiled. "Though I don't have the faintest idea how that could be done." Truly, this was a Sesshoumaru trait. Nothing can stand in his way. "Let me know how it goes."

He nodded and he pointed ahead. "You can just drop me there."

"Oh…" Rin was a bit surprised. "Aren't you going home?"

"Yes," he answered coolly. "But you don't have to send me all the way. Don't you stay around here? I can take a bus from home."

"Oh…ok…" She steered the car and stopped near the bus stop and he waved at her with a smile as he alighted.

That evening, Rin picked up her phone as she heard a text message.

"Thanks for today. You know, you don't have to give me a ride everywhere. I don't want you to think that you are my driver, fetching me around all the time."

Rin frowned, a little hurt.

"I never thought it was any trouble at all. Actually, I did it because you are always carrying that awfully heavy bag."

She sent it and then she thought of adding something else.

"And I really enjoyed chatting with you. I think you have a really nice personality." That was the most genuine truth. She hadn't an agenda, she just wanted to send him to wherever he wanted to go, spend time chatting with him in the car… for as long as she could… and she knew it wouldn't be long. She knew there was no forever between them and she was treasuring every single moment she could spend with him… Without regrets.

"I enjoyed chatting with you too. But if I don't feel bad at all, then, that doesn't speak very well about me, does it?"

Rin smiled. Well, at least, he said he enjoyed chatting with her. He shared the same connection… somehow she could feel it.

"I understand. You know, I'm not your driver. I'm your friend. Big difference."

":)"

Rin laughed when she saw the smiley. There were a few minutes of silence from him after that and she wondered if he had just gone to do something else. But suddenly, she received a whole string of photos on her phone.

What's all these? She squinted to make out the photos. Wires, scissors, sockets…

Then she laughed as she realised what they were. Sesshoumaru had made the twenty-meter cable and he was showing her step-by-step how he had done it.

She amused herself by looking at them; In one, his hand held the wires; In another, he had fixed them to the plug; In the next, he drilled the casing to fit in the wires. And in the last, the final product.

"You had to drill the casing?" She texted him.

"Yup. Not difficult."

"Well, it is difficult for a girl to imagine. Forgive me."

"lol"

"Somehow, I figured you might not be able to wait one day to do this, knowing you."

"Spot on. No prize."

Rin laughed. "It's ok." Having to have met you… is probably the best prize I have…

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

From that day, Rin continued receiving texts from Sesshoumaru. In fact, it had become quite a daily affair and they would greet each other "good morning" and messaged throughout the day, talking about anything and everything, whenever they were available. They would bid each other "good night" just before bed.

Through these conversations, Rin discovered more of their common interests. They both loved food and loved cooking, though they had different specialties. They loved Russell Peters.

"Hey, guess what, I'm going to Russell Peters tonight." Rin texted.

"Really? I love these sit-ups!"

"You like Russell Peters too?" She was surprised. Not all know about the famous Canadian comedian here in Tokyo.

"Yup. Seen all his videos. Someone's gonna get a hurting real bad!"

"lol. I do hope he doesn't tell old jokes."

Rin laughed as she put down her phone. And then, the hurt, abyss swarmed her again. All these chats with him, had pulled them closer, but, it did nothing but cause her more and more pain as each day passed.

Would he have still chatted with her so freely if he had known the truth? That she was ten years his senior? That she was married?

Perhaps not.

Was she misleading him by doing so? Causing him to think that there could be a romantic possibility but yet there is not? Or was she misleading…. Herself?

Being more or less a reserved person, Rin found this connection between them precious and hard to come by. In this present world we live in, it is so difficult to find someone whom you can speak your heart to, someone whom you feel you can connect with, someone whom you feel you could spend a lifetime with.

To her, Sesshoumaru… is someone from a completely different world. They are so different that their paths would probably never have crossed….if not that she had decided that fateful day to drop by his studio.

She turned up the car radio as she heard one of her favourite songs and tears just flowed down her cheeks uncontrollably at every word sung:

I Dreamed a Dream by Susan Boyle

I dreamed a dream in time gone by

When hope was high and life worth living

I dreamed that love would never die

I dreamed that God would be forgiving

Then I was young and unafraid

And dreams were made and used and wasted

There was no ransom to be paid

No song unsung no wine untested

But the tigers come at night

With their voices soft as thunder

And they tear your hopes apart

As they turned your dreams to shame

He slept a summer by my side

He filled my days with endless wonder

He took my childhood in his stride

But he was gone when autumn came

But still I dream he'll come to me

And we will live the years together

But there dreams that cannot be

And there storms we cannot weather

I had a dream my life would be

So different from this hell I'm living

So different now from what it seemed

Now life had killed the dream… I dream…

She didn't why she had cried, the lyrics did not apply to her directly. If only one thing was right for them, just one thing, that she wasn't older, or she was single, then perhaps, she could dare to imagine a slight possibility between them.

And even so, he may not actually be interested. They were very different people ultimately even if he hadn't yet fully comprehended as much as she THAT difference.

She had to stop this pain. She could bear it no longer. She had found it most difficult to even breathe the air surrounding her lately. The suffocation was choking her.

She had to stop lying…to him… to herself.

Well, she had tried to hint to him before in her texts. She recalled.

There was an once a few days back where she was to help him change a rehearsal date and she did it immediately and she texted him. "All confirmed. You are set on the 18th."

"Wow… you work fast. Thanks."

"I am old and my memory is failing. Got to do it immediately or risk forgetting totally." She just wanted to hint him the truth.

"lol I am old too."

"But I am OLDER…" She tried to emphasize that to him on deliberately, hoping he would pick up the hints.

"You behave younger…" His reply didn't help at all."Grandpa. That's what my dance buddies call me because I behave like one."

Rin smiled a forced smile he could not see. "Well, I guess you can say cute. Can't be young so may as well be cute."

"lol Indeed you are."

Neither did she purposefully kept from him the fact she wasn't single. Well, everyone in the company addressed her as Mrs Hara. He should have heard or realised by now… shouldn't he?

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

She stopped her car as she arrived at her destination, a tiny little beer place that she had arranged to meet Sesshoumaru for an afternoon drink. She quickly took out a wet wipe and dried her tears. Using the rear view mirror, she took a glance to make sure she was presentable before she got off.

Sesshoumaru was already there. He had texted her a few minutes ago, a photo of a glass of beer with the attached messages.

"Here already. Chilling. Drive safety. Don't rush."

Rin sighed as her eyes fluttered closed. She let herself relax a little before she headed off to meet him. It would be just a five-minute walk to reach there.

As she lay her head against the car head rest, more recollections flashed in her head and how she had appreciated his vast knowledge of everything under the sun… also how she had shared everything so instinctively with him….

One Saturday morning, she texted him a photo of her dying basil.

"Good morning. It's gardening day but my basil is dying…I'm really sad."

He replied after ten minutes.

"Morning. Did you check the PH?"

Wow… he knows about plants too? He was spot-on. That was what the gardener friend said to her as well. The surprises never seem to cease.

"Yup. I was told to do that…basils cannot take too much acid. Well, I'll try my best."

And yet, at another occasion where a huge branch had suddenly fallen at her estate, the estates manager had the entire tree cut down the very next morning. Watching the men at work sawing the seven storey tall tree down to its roots, Rin was deeply affected and she instinctively texted him.

"Yesterday, a huge branch suddenly fell out of no reason. Thank God no one was hurt. But today, they cut down the entire tree! I can't believe it and I'm really sad. Why do they have to cut down the whole tree? It had lived at least a good sixty years."

His reply was almost immediate. "Sometimes, the acid from the rain affects the trees and caused them to decay from the inside. When that happens, the tree is actually dying. They are right to cut it down to prevent people from getting hurt."

Rin pouted, though she knew he was right. "I don't care! I'm still sad!"

"LOL Yes. I'm sure you don't."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Rin shook her head hard to clear all these flashbacks which were not helping the situation at all. What's the point of remembering all these wonderful and yet painful memories about them? Till now, she had yet to successfully classify how she felt about Sesshoumaru.

Friends? Soulmates? Crush? Infatuation? Love?

She didn't have the answer and the truth was, she dared not think of one.

Even if their conversations had never touched on relationships, she could tell that Sesshoumaru would be a loyal and faithful lover. If he had one day found someone he loved, he would love her forever, and only her.

And for that, she knew. Even if, one day, he really told her that he loved her, she would never leave her hubby. If she had done that, then, she would never be that faithful lover that he would be seeking, one he truly deserved.

Then, she would then rather love him as a friend, a good friend… forever…

Finally, she knew what had to be done.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

There was a slight drizzle but Rin's heart was so heavy she didn't care. She just walked toward where Sesshoumaru was.

He saw her from a distance and waved. She walked up to him. He had found a quiet corner for them and he looked with concern at her.

"You walked in the rain?" He frowned. "You could fall sick."

He fished out his handkerchief from his pocket and proceeded to dap on where he saw she was wet.

"Thanks." She muttered, almost inaudible.

"Are you alright?" His tone was one of genuine concern. "You don't look your usual self."

"I'm fine," Rin forced a smile and she was sure he had recognised it. She had to pick herself up and just enjoy this… perhaps, the first and last time they could be out on a …date.

As she sat down, he quietly placed his jacket over her. She ordered half a pint of lager and they started chatting till Sesshoumaru picked up his phone as he received a message. Rin watched as he read it and waited.

He looked up, noticing her questioning smile. "It's my buddies. They are all wishing me happy birthday."

"Today is your birthday?" She asked, surprised.

"Yesterday," He corrected.

"Oh. Did you celebrate it with… your family, your friends, your…" She didn't continue. She didn't wish to sound like she was testing if he was attached.

"I don't celebrate my birthdays," He said, his tone nonchalant.

"You don't? Not at all?" She was even more surprised. She hadn't one non-celebrated birthday her entire life. "Not even your family?"

"No need," His tone still unaffected. "I don't spend lots of time with my family anyway."

"Well then," Rin brushed it off lightly as she raise her glass of beer. "Happy Birthday!"

Sesshoumaru smiled as they cheers.

Why does a part of me wish so fervently that I could celebrate his birthday for him every year till…no end…?

Of course I can… She decided, smiling to herself… as a friend.

She looked at, noticing that he was staring at her questioningly. She did not respond, just shaking her head and brushing it off with a smile.

"You should have a birthday wish, still," She suggested playfully, hoping that he wouldn't pry deeper. "Every birthday boy deserves one, whether there is a celebration or not."

He chuckled. "I've never made a wish my entire life. Don't believe in them."

"Well, if you don't try, you will never know." She challenged.

He was thoughtful for a moment. Then, he spoke.

"Perhaps, I do have something I want… this year," He looked straight in her eyes as he said that. "Or rather… hope to… though I'm not yet certain…"

Rin swallowed, feeling a little uneasy. What did he mean by that? She trembled under the cold air-conditioning and she felt his hand on hers.

"Are you cold?" His tone concerned.

She gasped but did not move her own hand.

His hand was huge compared to hers, covering it entirely. His touch was warm with a deep sense of security and comfort.

She nodded, not being able to stop herself from shivering, not knowing whether it was from the cold…or… from his touch.

Swiftly without warning, Sesshoumaru stood up from the opposite side of the table and moved to sit beside her. He seemingly pondered for a brief moment before putting a strong arm over her shoulders, pulling her to him in a loose hug. "You know, you are cold because you were naughty. You walked in the rain just now."

Helplessly, Rin rested her cheeks gently in his chest, reveling in this tiniest moment of just Sesshoumaru and Rin. It was a precious one, she knew, for it may just never happen again. His hand was still on hers and she turned her palm over. Slowly, their palms touched, and their fingers weaved into a firm grip.

Silence followed as time had stopped.

Suddenly, Rin felt her tears trickling down her cheeks. Reality has returned.

Sesshoumaru, I will remember this moment…for the rest of my life.

"Rin, what's wrong?" He had felt her crying and wanted to release his hold to check on her.

"Don't," She whispered, stopping him. "I….have something to say."

"I love you Sesshoumaru. Don't ask me why…But, I can only love you as a friend. Perhaps, if we had met in another time, in another space, where things were….different from what it is now, then, without a doubt, I wouldn't mind if you do not feel the same way… but…I wouldn't think twice before I'd fall in love with you and want to share my life with you forever."

Sesshoumaru listened in silence and he stayed still, without a word for a while.

"I understand…" He finally spoke. "I will not ask you why, until you are ready to tell me…But… we are… still friends, right?"

Rin dried her tears, nodding. She moved up, giving him a gentle kiss on his cheek. Cheek to cheek, she paused there for a moment, remembering how his face felt on hers, his breath softly in her ears. He shifted slightly, till they were looking at each other straight in the eyes, their lips only less than an inch apart.

And then, she stepped back and smiled at him.

"Friends…definitely… forever."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

It's heartbreaking to learn that, even when one is no longer single, they could still meet another person whom they could feel such a strong connection with, regardless the age difference. He arrives without a hint of warning, and you are helpless and powerless to stop your heart from feeling something for him. The connection was so strong, you can't help but feel that you've met him, perhaps, in another time, in another space.

Love comes in many variations, not all strives on possession. You could love your teacher, your friend, care for them, worry about them, be there whenever they need you …and yet, never become lovers, whatever circumstances had made it so.

This one-shot is dedicated to Derek, a friend whom I had the greatest honor to have met, to get connected with, one who will most possibly never read this story in his life…

It's my wish that this fanfic would help remember our story…though not all parts are true, and no matter how many years would pass, I would never forget …