Credit for characters goes to Stephenie Meyer, at least ones you recognize.
Also vampires exist in this, Jasper is a vegetarian vampire, but he doesn't live with the Cullens. Werewolves do not exist; I figured I'd switch it up a little. Also Billy is not handicapped.
Think of You Later
Jacob POV
This was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. Returning to La Push was not my decision, but then again it was never my decision to make. There were endless questions running through my mind as we pulled up to our old home, small, red, and decomposing, this was where I came back to. Why did I have to do this? Did my dad have it out for me? I hated coming back here. There was too much pain, too many memories of what could have been.
My best friend, well ex-best friend I guess. She was still here, in Forks, no doubt she'd be coming to see me. To be honest I didn't really want to see her, she was very mean to me the last day I was here. She told me to get a life that didn't involve her, so that's what I did. She had it in her head that I was in love with her, like that was the case! I only got mad because I liked her hunk of a boyfriend, Edward Cullen. She's so oblivious sometimes. I guess I could forgive her, but I'm not sure if I should trust her with my secret, no one knows.
Well actually let me correct myself, one person knows. The same person that caused me to move back to this hell hole. I met someone when I moved; he was sweet, kind, and gracious. That is until I knew him for a while. His name was Jasper, Jasper Whitlock; he looked strangely like Edward, the same skin, same eyes, same tousled sex hair. I wonder if that was why I was attracted to him in the first place. He was always nice to me, but sometimes too nice. He had a major problem with jealousy though; he acted as if I wasn't allowed to have any friends that were boys. He wanted me to spend all of my time with him; he almost hit me when he caught me looking at a guy while we were walking past. I still loved him, and it took all I had to break up with him. I think that's why Billy insisted on moving back here, he didn't want to see me hurt like I was when we broke up. I was crying in my room all day, he didn't know why, I didn't even think he would care. I wouldn't talk to anyone; I never went out of the house anymore. He probably thought this move would be good for me, I seriously doubted it. He never knew the real reason why I had acted like that, and I couldn't tell him because he was a homophobe. I felt ashamed of what I was, but I couldn't change it if I tried.
Ah well, I closed my eyes and turned up the music on my iPod. I didn't want Billy to think I was awake, I'd rather have some time to myself before I had to unpack, even if that time was spent pretending to be asleep in a car. As I listened to the comforting words of the song I thought about how ironic it was.
This might be my last chance
So maybe I should take it
I just hope you're listening
To everything I'm saying
I miss the long drives, the car rides
The bad fights, the good times
The way you make me feel
Will never leave my mind
I felt a tear stream down my cheek before I realized that this meant I was crying, of course I was. Whenever I listened to this song it made me think of him, how could I not? He was my only boyfriend, and the only person that knew my secret. He was mad at me for breaking up with him, but he said he'd wait for me. I still have his number on a piece of paper burning a hole in my pocket, but there was no need for it, I already had it engraved in my memory. Sometimes I thought he was so angry that he would call my dad and tell him what I am, that was my personal fear. I knew what his reaction would be; I would be kicked out of the house, and never be allowed to come back.
I felt myself fully crying now, as I thought about what I would do if I got kicked out. I had nowhere to go, maybe I would go to Bella, if we were friends again I guess. Maybe I could go live with some friends from La Push. I sat silently, eyes closed, head leaned back, even though I was full-out crying I was still pretending to be asleep.
I was so caught up in my thoughts that I didn't notice two things, my iPod dying before I could listen to the chorus, and my dad walking up to my rolled-down window and staring at me. I put my head in my hands and asked, "Why me?"
"Why what son?" Hearing his voice so suddenly made me jump in my seat. Without thinking, I turned to look at him. He gasped at my sullen tear-streaked face, "Are you okay?" I just shook my head at him. Honestly, what kind of a question is that? I'm crying my eyes out with no emotion on my face and you have to ask that? "Look here boy, I know you miss your friend down there, but it's not good for you to be like this. You should get together with your old friends, you were always so happy after playing with them when you were little." He smiled at me, probably remembering happier times, simpler times. "Can you even smile anymore?" He sounded serious.
I tried with all my might to smile, but it came out as a weird lopsided grimace. He took one look at my face, my smile I had sincerely tried hard on, and laughed. He started breaking down into fits of laughter so powerful that I joined in. Soon we were laughing our asses off like there was no tomorrow. I forgot what it felt like to laugh; the last time I had laughed was when I was with Jasper. I stopped my train of thought right there, if I thought about him it would bring on the depression again. "I can try dad, I can try my best, but I'm not making any promises." I smiled at the thought of what just happened, and Billy grinned in return.
"Now come on son, I know you were pretending to be asleep and I didn't buy it. You have to help me unpack, at least your things, I'm not some superhero." I groaned and jumped out of the truck to get my things from the back.
I only had two boxes of stuff, one was clothes, and the other was the rest of my things. I remembered the reason of why this was, and my happy smile turned into a sulking sneer fast. I had burned any reminder of our time together. Since I was forced to move up here, I wanted no part of our times together to influence me here. This is why I now had few clothes, and had burned a couple of my favorite shirts. I didn't have any pictures, and his number was deleted from my cell phone, but as I was burning I found the napkin with his number that he gave to me before we were dating, for some reason I kept it, and I have no idea why. I feel it in my pocket as if it weighed ten pounds.
The old furniture was here. We had it moved here and unpacked a week before we arrived. It reminded me of my past here. When I went into my room, I saw where my fist had connected with the wall the day my dad told me we were moving down south. I had friends here, but again, it was a simpler time. People didn't judge you for your sexual preferences when you were younger, not that any of them knew I was gay anyway, it was just Jake. Now at my old school I was always "Jake the gay boy" or "Jake the faggot". I was so relieved it was summer vacation. Jasper was the only one that had helped me; he was my only friend there. I hoped I wouldn't be put in the same situation here.
I had just finished unpacking my light load when I felt another presence in my room, hoping it was just my dad, I turned around. "Jake dude! How's it going? It's so awesome you're finally back!" Embry and Quill spoke simultaneously. As they said this Embry playfully punched Quill in the shoulder, and Quill retaliated by pushing Embry into my dresser. It had the napkin with the phone number on it, and I didn't want to lose that, just in case.
"Hey hey watch it guys!" I carefully picked up the napkin that had landed on the floor after catching a breeze, making sure not to rip it. I stuffed it into my pocket. I looked up and recognized them as my old friends, they were the ones I always used to hang out with, and they were the ones I had missed when we left. Now I was embarrassed to see them again, especially because they were both insanely hot. I could never tell them my secret though; I'd never be able to see them again. They would probably shout "freak" at me while running away.
They noticed my long pause, and my stare. But they were my friends, and they could tell that I was focused on something entirely different, my mind wasn't there, and they could see that in my eyes. "Umm, Jake? Hello?" Quill jumped in front of me and waved a hand in front of my face. I gulped and made my eyes snap out of it. I shook my head, trying to rid the dazed feeling from my skull. I wonder if I could trust them, but I don't think I can.
"Sorry guys, but I think I have a little unfinished business here. I need to go see my other old friend, but can we catch up later?" I needed someone on the inside really badly; it was so annoying not being able to talk about this to anyone, not that I could really talk about it to Jasper. I needed Bella; I needed my good friend back.
"Sure dude, hey we were planning on going cliff diving in three hours, wanna join?" Embry's voice sounded indifferent to the fact that I had just gotten here. He was acting as if I'd never left, I liked that, I knew we could be friends again. "We'll pick you up here okay?" I nodded my head, lost in my imagination. As they left fear washed over me, cliff diving? That sounded dangerous, oh well. I guess I'll figure out later.
I didn't know whether she'd be home or not, but I didn't have a choice. I didn't have her number, so I was just going to have to hope for the best. I ran into the living room, breathless at the thought that Edward might possibly be there. "Dad, I'm taking the car, I need to see Bella." My dad looked at me with questions in his hazel eyes, but nodded his approval. I hope I didn't have to give him a play-by-play when I get home, I don't think I'll have time for that.
The truck sputtered and sounded close to its death by the time I got to Bella's house. It had been three years since I've been here, and the second I saw her house I realized how much I missed her. She was my best friend, and at the same time, the mom I didn't have. My mom died when I was little, I was told it was tragic, but I really don't remember her too much. Billy's face sets into a hard line and he speaks through his teeth when I ask him about it. Bella's porcelain face appears in the window, I hope in recognition.
She looks sleepy, much too tired. I look at her and try my smile, it actually worked this time. Bella was my sun. She saw me and I noticed disbelief race across her features. I think she hated how things ended on a sour note before I left. Then I saw that eye-crinkling grin that Bella got from her dad. She ran out of her house and bounded into my arms as soon as I had climbed out of the truck. "Jake! Oh my god Jake you're here! I'm so sorry, I never meant anything I said before you left, please forgive me." I pulled back from our hug and saw the sincerity in her chocolate eyes.
"Of course I forgive you, you silly girl. Do you really think I would be over here if I wasn't? I missed you so much Bells. I had to come see you, we moved back. I live in La Push again." I smiled at her. Her eyes got wider with every word that I said, and she nearly took my ear off with her answering scream at my news.
"Jacob that's amazing! We have so much to catch up on!" She turned around and literally dragged me to her house and up the stairs, I guess Charlie wasn't home, but I'm not surprised. Charlie was the police chief of Forks, and that caused him to be pretty busy.
When we got to her room she dashed over and sat cross-legged on her bed. It looked like she was way too excited for a sleepover. I laughed at her. But then I remembered part of the reason why I came here. "Bella there's something I need to tell you."
She looked at me with all seriousness in her voice, "Jacob you know you can tell me anything, we're best friends." She touched my hand in a reassuring gesture as she spoke.
I looked up at her; I could see my long lashes in my vision. She was telling the truth. I could always tell if she was lying, and she was not lying this time. "Things have changed since I left, well, right before I left actually. Something about me has changed." She leaned in with every word. "I completely trust you here." I could feel sobs coming on, I had to get it out fast or I wouldn't be able to talk. "I'm gay Bella." I couldn't stop the tears that were flowing, I was already reacting to telling her, I was preparing myself for the rejection I was positive was about to come.
Her eyes got wide, wider than usual. And then understanding hit her eyes. She climbed into my lap and hugged my broad shoulders. This wasn't hard because she was so little compared to me. "Jake it's okay, I understand. You don't have to be sad about it." She spoke into my hair because I had bent down to cry into her neck. "Jake I don't care if you're gay, you're still my best friend, and nothing will ever change that. Please stop crying." I heard the genuine concern in her voice and it immediately stopped the sob-fit. Tears were still running down my russet-colored cheeks, but I felt worlds better.
I managed to glance up at her from under my wet eyelashes, "Do you really mean that Bella?" I can't imagine the hurt I would feel if she said no. I would start crying uncontrollably then. The tears were still flowing, but right now I felt hope, not sadness or fear of rejection.
Her eyes bore into mine, staring into my soul. "Of course I mean that Jacob, you're my best friend." She broke out into a warming smile that I involuntarily returned. I hugged her with all of the strength I had left. My sad tears had turned into tears of joy. "You're crushing me Jake!" She managed to choke out her sentence. I immediately put her down and then laughed at her expression. She glared at me for laughing at her, but she couldn't hold it in and burst out in fits of laughter.
All of a sudden I saw her eyes brighten, which only happened when she was really happy or had an idea. "Bells? What are you thinking about?" Then I saw the devilish shine to her eyes, not always a good sign.
"I just thought of the best thing that we could do now, to celebrate you know?" I raised my eyebrow at her, something I picked up from years of living with my father. "Let's go to the mall and check out some hot guys!" I chuckled at her.
"Don't you have a boyfriend Bells? Not becoming a whore are you?" She stuck out her tongue at me.
"No Jake, for your information I broke up with Edward a long time ago. He was a real jerk-off."
"I'll bet." I muttered under my breath. "Oh just how much I would like to do that Bella, I can't. I already have plans with Embry and Quill. I'm sorry, but I needed to see you as soon as possible. Wanna hang out tomorrow instead?" Her face fell but quickly lightened at my suggestion.
"Sure Jake! Here take my number, call me tomorrow when you want to hang out." I nodded my answer, too happy to really say much. Then I looked at the clock.
"Oh my god is that the time? I have to go! I'm sorry; I'll call you later today." I waved goodbye to her from the driver's seat of the truck. It screamed in protest as I started it but quickly quieted into a soothing rumble I was familiar with. Soon I was headed down the swerving roads that were made unpredictable by the forest. I was still new to driving these roads so I almost crashed into a tree in my haste to get home.
I ran in the door and chucked the keys in the general direction of the counter. I groaned when I heard the unsatisfying clunk of the keys hitting the floor. I ran over to pick them up and placed them in the dish. I was on my way to my room, mumbling about what I was going to wear when Billy finally noticed me. "Stop acting like a girl Jake, you don't need to worry about what you're going to wear, it's just Quill and Embry." I rolled my eyes at him, if only he knew how important and necessary this was to me. Luckily the doorbell rang and Billy gave up on interrogating me, for now.
I was dumbstruck by the image I was greeted with at the door. Embry and Quill were both shirtless, wearing bathing suits. "Hey dude! Ready for some cliff diving?" Embry had a really deep rumble to his voice. I didn't really notice much though. I was staring right at their chests, but they thought I was in deep thought about something else, hopefully.
Quill relieved my fears, "Aw shit man, he's out of it again." He waved his hand in front of my face, but it didn't work this time. "Wow he's really out of it this time, Jake? Yoo hoo!" They looked at each other, shrugged, and laughed. I was mesmerized by the way their muscles moved under their skin with each shake of laughter. They were both completely gorgeous.
When I finally found my voice I managed to pry my eyes away from their bodies, "Oh sorry guys, I was just thinking about stuff." I took a quick glance at their bodies again, being casual, as if I hadn't noticed before. "I guess I need a bathing suit huh?" They both nodded and looked at me like I was insane, maybe I was, oh well. "Just wait here, I'll be back in one sec." I dashed to my closet and got dressed in record time. It was nice to be in my bathing suit anyway, I had my own set of muscles, but I didn't like to show them off much. I wonder if all the guys from the rez looked like this. I walked calmly back out to them, "What are you guys waiting for? Let's go!" I ran out past them and into the sunny day.
They laughed and joined me. Soon we were having a race to the cliffs, like we used to do when we were little. Quill was always the fastest, it didn't look like that had changed, however, I'm faster than Embry now, and I beat him. He wasn't happy about losing to both of us. We just laughed at his scowl. We were at the edge of the cliffs now, and I took a look to see how far down it was. I felt my stomach drop at the sight, oh dear. Quill noticed my hesitation, "Jake do you want me to explain or just watch us first? The tide's perfect today, so you should have no trouble when you hit the water."
I gulped, "I'll just watch if that's okay." I backed up. They both flexed their muscles, I almost drooled. I saw Quill and Embry expertly take a few steps back, and then they were off. They both jumped, and gracefully did a flip in the air, ending with a perfect dive in. I waited until they were out of the way, afraid I would hit one of them. I closed my eyes, backed up, and ran until I hit the edge. I jumped off with my eyes closed. It felt like a rollercoaster, as long as I had my eyes closed, I was okay. But then I hit the water.
I was really dizzy, and I couldn't tell which way was up and which way was down. I refused to open my eyes, knowing I would feel pain if I did. I furiously kicked my legs and moved my arms trying to find purchase in the water, signifying air. I felt none. I swam forward and hit my head on a rock. My limbs grew tired and my head hurt from the pain of the hit, my body slumped in the water, I had given up. I thought nothing as I was dying, trying to clear my head. Then my ribs were being encased by a set of strong arms as I was being pulled out of the water. I needed breath long before we hit the surface and breathed in on reflex, bad mistake. My lungs were filled with water and my body was having spasms in a desperate need to find oxygen. The arms were still pulling me out of the water, and I felt it when my head was above the surface, but I couldn't breathe in due to the water in my lungs. Now I was drowning above surface, how ironic this was.
I almost blacked out when my back was on the sand. Someone pounded their fists on my chest, attempting to get the water out. They turned me around and pounded on my back, but I needed air soon, or I was going to die. They turned me around and pressed their lips to mine, blowing air into my system, it caused the water to come up, and I sat up as I coughed out water. It wasn't the most pleasant of feelings. My savior kept hitting my back, hoping to help me as water was gushing from my mouth. As soon as my lungs were free of water I breathed in. My throat felt raw, but I was whole and intact, that was all that mattered. My body shuddered as my breathing returned to normal, which is when I remembered I had not thanked the person for saving my life.
"Thanks." I managed to croak out one word. My voice was hoarse and cracking, but it was there.
"Are you okay?" I was confused; this was not a voice I recognized. I rubbed my eyes with my hands and looked at the person sitting in the sand across from me. I was in a trance, or dreaming, I had to be. He was the most heartbreakingly beautiful person I had ever laid my eyes on. He had russet colored skin, but his looked and felt like silk. He had straight milky white teeth but a crooked smile. His eyes were a stunning dark brown color, almost black, I think he was scared.
"I think so, what happened?" My head hurt and I automatically reached up to touch my wound. There was no blood, but it felt like a bad bruise, I winced.
He noticed and replaced my hand with his, moving my hair out of the way to get a better look at it. "That's a pretty bad bruise. Anyway, I was following you guys to go cliff diving with you when I saw you jump. I went to look at the edge to watch you come up, but you never did. I jumped in and found you, and then I brought you up the sand here and, well…" He trailed off, a blush forming in his cheeks.
I saw Embry and Quill running up the beach frantically. Quill spotted me, "Jake! Embry he's on the beach!" They both ran up to me and kneeled down. "Are you okay? We saw you go down but never come up. We were searching for you in the water; I was really worried about you Jake." He eyed up my hero, whom I still didn't know the name of. "Seth what are you doing here?"
The name and the face clicked in my mind. Seth, Seth Clearwater. I remembered the face of the boy one year younger than me. We would always complain about how he followed us around. He always wanted to hang out with me, Embry, and Quill. What they didn't know was that I secretly liked it. I liked having Seth around, he was always so insightful. He saw things in a different way than most people. "Seth? Seth Clearwater? Is that really you? I didn't recognize you." He was no boy anymore; he had as big muscles as I did. Oh god, I think I really liked him.
Just then, I remembered his lips on mine, I concentrated on that wonderful feeling, I definitely wanted to feel that again, but he was probably straight. I blushed at the memory and frowned at my thought at the same time. Seth smiled, "Yeah. Hey Jake." He turned to look at Embry and Quill. "Well I was planning on cliff diving too when I noticed Jake didn't come up from the water, so I dived in and pulled him out." Embry and Quill gaped at him while I was speechless from his beauty.
Embry started talking, finally. "Well normally I would be pissed that you followed us, but, thanks for saving Jake man. I owe you one." Seth beamed at Embry, I felt fury. I wanted that smile to belong to me, and no one else. "Come on we better get Jake home." Embry started to help me up when Seth stopped him.
"It's okay I got him. You and Quill are faster anyway. Go run to his house and tell Billy what happened." Embry nodded and he and Quill took off running. I looked up at Seth shyly and he shrugged. "I guess we better go then." He almost picked me up as he helped me stand up. Then he supported most of my weight almost effortlessly as we walked down the familiar path. I couldn't not marvel at how soft his skin was on mine.
I was stumbling by the time we reached my house. I tripped and felt four pairs of hands catch my fall. They all carried me into my room and onto my old bed; I curled up there, tired. One by one they all left, saying sorry and hoped I would get better. Seth was the last to leave. He hugged me before he left. As he hugged me he whispered in my ear, "I hope you get better Jake, by the way, I know your secret." I froze at his choice in words. He kissed my cheek and quickly left.
When his lips touched my skin my eyes rolled into the back of my head. My skin burned and tingled wherever he touched me, the spot on my cheek burning the most. I raised my hand to my face, feeling where he touched me. Then I remembered his words. What secret did he know? Did he know that I liked having him around as kids, or that I was gay? I shuddered at the thought. I hope it isn't the latter.
I recalled that I told Bella I would call her. I wasn't up for talking, so I texted her instead.
Sorry, stuff happened today and I can't talk. I'll call you tomorrow so we can hang out. – Jake
I made sure to save her number in my phone. I got up and stretched my limbs; it felt good to have control of my arms and legs again. I grabbed my now charged iPod and flopped back on the bed. I resumed playing the song I was listening to when it died, and smiled.
Think of you later in my empty room
Where I, I will fall asleep alone
Think of you later in my empty room
Where I, I will fall asleep alone
I thought about how this related to me. I would most definitely be thinking about Seth. Even the thought of him brightened my smile; it made me forget about Jasper. In fact, I felt nothing for Jasper anymore. With this new revelation, I smiled even wider, if that was possible.
So quit your crying and wipe the tears from your eyes
Cause this is "See you later"
I'm not into goodbyes
Watch the brake lights, as I leave your driveway
The warm nights, will stay beside me
No matter where I go
I laughed in my mind as I recognized the crying part as me. I was crying a lot lately, something I'm not proud of. I hate goodbyes too; I hated it when Seth left me here. But I'll stay warm from his hug and kiss.
As I listened to the rest of the song I drifted off into a deep sleep. Smiling even in my dreams, of course they were about Seth. I heard the song replay in my dreams, over and over again.
Think of you later in my empty room
Where I, I will fall asleep alone
Think of you later in my empty room
Where I, I will fall asleep alone
So this might be my last chance
To wipe the tears from your eyes
Cause this is "See you later"
I'm not into goodbyes
Watch the brake lights, as I leave your driveway
The warm nights will stay beside me, no matter where I go
Think of you later in my empty room
Where I, I will fall asleep alone
Think of you later in my empty room
Where I, I will fall asleep alone
Think of you later in my empty room
Where I, I will fall asleep alone
Think of you later in my empty room
Where I, I will fall asleep alone
This is the song Think of You Later by Every Avenue
You should check them out, they're pretty cool, they also have all rights to this song.
Please Review!
I had an idea to base each chapter off of a different song, so give me a review with a good song to use; I can go pretty much anywhere with this fic
Also check out my story A World Without You is Impossible, it still has no reviews):
