Okay here is the first chapter of My sorry Life and I am really, really, really sorry about starting another story before finishing my other one, I won't make a habit out of this I promise
Started: December 10, 2011
How long was this going to go on, I wasn't sure if I could take it anymore. I was lying to everyone, and myself. I watched her any chance I could get and I'm surprised that no body had found out how I lusted for her. It was sick, I know but I couldn't help it. Something about her drawn me in, and when I wasn't near her. There was a pain, that never went away. I had tried everything, even going so far as to cutting myself, but I knew it would never help. I tired hiding in the dark and under pain to cover up my unrequited love for her. I know I was giving everyone unnecessary worry for my selfish reasons, but I had been a unselfish person my whole life; just this once I wanted to do something for myself.
I pulled my wool coat tighter around me to keep the wind out and to keep my cuts hidden from the world. This was my usual routine for me. Coming to the CVS and waiting for my dealer to come by. Yea that's right I was a drug addict, but it helped me forget. And Charlie didn't care what happened to me anymore, he had a new family to take of. I was just someone that was keeping him back. And the Cullens had long since stopped talking me, though we still saw each other at the bonfires I were forced to. The Quileutes and the Cullens had abolished the treaty and welcomed them like family after the battle with Victoria.
"Here." a man said handing me a bag of white powder, I took out my wallet and handed him a five, when he didn't walk away I gave a sigh and put a ten in his hand.
Once he was gone I quickly got to work on my drug, pulling out a lighter I could already feel the adrenaline rushing through me. Bring the Cocaine filled cigarette to my lips I lit it up. I knew my pupils were already starting to wide because I could feel how I was inching closer and closer to death each time I smoked this crap. Taking a short cut through the forest I began my walk from the CVS back to Charlies house. I was just a few block from the house at the end of my journey but I never left the woods. I wasn't ready to put it away yet.
I watched from a distance how Jacob pulled into our drive way on his motorcycle with Leah on the back. I watched how they shared a passionate kiss and hugged before Leah walked into the house. Once Jacob pulled out of our drive way and was far gone the road, I broke down. It was hard watching them share a life I wished I had. I wanted to be the one on the motorcycle and the one to share the hug. Tears continued to run down my face long after the third cigarette, but by then I was to high to even understand why I had been crying.
I know it's not good for my but dammit it made me forget, and if it could do that then I'm going to use the shit. I doubt no one understands the heart break I was going through right now, to the see the woman you loved being kissed by your ex-best friend, it heart crushing. Yea that's right, you thought I wish I was in Leah's place didn't you, hoping to get back with the one that got away. No, I wanted to be with the one that didn't even have a chance. Back then I had been to obsessed with Edward and the supernatural, I was like a toddler when you tried to feed them, a mess.
I don't know what happen next but the next morning I woke up still in the woods, but I was naked and covered in blood, thankfully me coat was still intact and I could put that on. It covered up the red irritated gashes, and the new animal like marks on my hips. I would have time to inspect them when I got into the bathroom, that was in the safety of Charlies house.
I climbed up the tree and to the window I still kept unlock. Quietly I opened the window and jumped through it. After the first time I had been out late like I had yesterday, I decided it would be great to learn how to climb up trees. It was much easier than going through the front door and having to go through many questions asked by Charlie and Sue.
I walked past the twin sized bed that Leah now slept on, since we shared a room now, getting a pair of pants despite how the temperature was considerable rising into the 90's, a long-sleeve shirt and knew socks I quickly walked to the bathroom. Opening the door to my room I grimace when it creaked, behind me Leah only gave a groan and tossed in her bed.
Running some water, I started to clean the wounds, now don't get me wrong though I cut my self I wasn't much for bleeding to death or, scabs. Which is why I had gone to doing drugs, easy to hide, quick to get, and you got twice the amount of adrenaline you would from cutting yourself. After dressing I walked back into the room to make sure Leah was still sleeping before I went down the stairs, skipping the third to the bottom since it creaked loudly.
But it seemed that didn't matter since Sue was already in the kitchen making breakfast, I nodded to her and tried to keep the worried look off her face when she saw the bags under my eyes. Taking a seat in my chair on the island away from the table they usually ate at, Sue sat a plate of pancakes in front of me. From up stairs I could hear the others waking and shuffling around.
"We'll be going to the bonfire again tonight." Sue said.
"Will Jake be there." Leah asked as she finally came down the stairs.
My heart wrenched in my chest at the sight of her, I only dared to look at her for a few seconds before I became to suspicious. Digging back into my pancakes I felt the sudden need for a smoke and could keep from taping my hands on the counter lightly. It was what I did when I fidgeted, or the need for my drug came to me. Jumping out of my seat I couldn't take it any more and quickly thanked Sue before running out back pulling on my wool coat that no doubt still smelled of Cocaine.
Running into the woods behind our house I quickly pulled out a cig I had prepared before everything last night went blank. Lighting it I felt the drug getting to me, and I knew if I kept this up I would come to the end of my supply and maybe even my death from OD.
Leah's Pov.
I watched as Bella ran out of the house, before taking her plate and eating the rest of the pancakes that looked like they had barely been touched. She had been acting funny ever since the battle between the Newborns, and she smelled of smoke when ever she came home now. I was on her case, but I wasn't going to let it get between me and Jake.
We had finally found the love we had for each other after he had gotten over vampire lover girl. We spent most of our times down at the beach or over at his house, it would be embarrassing for him to come over and see what had become of his old best friend. This had really shocked me though. Bella had isolated herself from everyone, even the Cullens, and her friends had school. She always seemed to be nervous and she would fidget when I stepped into the room.
I would have to talk to the pack, and council about her behavior, it would do no good for her or Charlie if she went off and got herself killed. So better to solve the problem now than later. Finishing the plate of pancakes I gave mom a kiss before I walked out side when my ears picked up the sound of a motorcycle coming down the road.
I smiled and waved as Jake pulled in our drive way, hoping off the porch I ran to him and gave him a hug. He smiled and kissed me before giving me a helmet, he was such a gentlemen. On the way back though my mind was clouded with thoughts of what was wrong with Bella. I was so deep into my thinking I barely noticed we had pulled up to the trail that lead to the beach.
Jake got off and then helped me before we walked hand in hand down to the beach. It was a gorgeous day, the sun was out and shining, the waves were calm and everyone was at peace. Everyone except for me, the idea of what Bella could possible be doing was ruining my day with Jake and I don't like it.
"What's wrong?" Jake asked, walking in front of me and staring into his eyes, I smiled. His concern reminded me of why I loved him.
"Nothing big, you don't have to worry. Let's just enjoy our day." I said tugging on his hand, leading use to a washed up log.
"If you say so." Jake murmured taking seat next to me.
Bella's Pov.
I must have passed out again because I woke up in the forest again, clothing intact I mind you. My nerves had calmed down, but looking at the watch I quickly got to my feet. Tossing and turning I looked around for my large Altoids box, it's were I stashed all my cigs. Looking down at my digital watch I noticed I had enough time to run into the house and freshen up so don't go to the party smelling like cigarettes. Running into the house I quietly tip toed passed charlie who was yelling at the TV, men and football I don't get it.
By the time I got out of the shower I had ten minutes before the Bonfire started, getting dressed once again. I ran down the stairs and into the garage were a black shiny 1964 Flashback mustang sat lone, next to it was a brand new sports motorcycle. If your wondering how I had gotten the money for these two vehicles, well let's just say I don't only do the drugs. I blew a kiss to my precious bike before hoping into the drivers seat of the mustang. The car itself smelled little to none of smoke, but that's because I loved it so much; I would never get the smell out if I smoke in it.
Speeding down the roads until I got to the dirt one that would bring me to the Reservation, I started to bring my baby down to a more suitable speed or at least according to the law it was suitable. Taking my key out of the ignition. I checked myself over in the mirror. I wore a white blazer, a pair of black baggy pants, a grey tight V neck shirt, and a pair of flats. Stepping out of the car I walked down the sandy trail to the beach, it was a while before I heard laughing and the bright red flames of the fire.
I grimace when I heard the laugh of both Jake and Leah, suddenly I felt nervous and really needed a smoke, but I fought the erg. It had been a long time since I had been her, the past month I had been able to make an excuse for not coming, but luck wasn't with me this week.
"Ah there she is!" Billy said gesturing to me, this brought everyone's attention to me and I gave a small nod.
It didn't shock me that the Cullens were there, they had made it a tradition to come to the Bonfire. There stared at me and I saw how Jasper, and Alice's face were knitted in confusion as they looked at me. Turning back to there family they went back to there fast hushed whispers.
Pulling on my head phones I found a log a little ways from everybody else and pulled out my iPod. Pressing play a small smile came onto my face as I listened to the words and how they seemed so ironic.
Here's the thing we started off friends
It was cool but it was all pretend
Yeah yeah
Since you been gone
You dedicated you took the time
Wasn't long till I called you mine
Yeah Yeah
Since you been gone
And all you'd ever hear me say
Is how I pictured me with you
That's all you'd ever hear me say
But since you been gone
I can breathe for the first time
Im so movin on
Yeah yeah
Thanks to you
Now I get
What I want
Since you been gone
How can I put it? you put me on
I even fell for that stupid love song
Yeah yeah
Since you been gone
How come I never hear you say
I just wanna be with you
I guess you never felt that way
But since you been gone
I can breathe for the first time
Im so movin on
Yeah yeah
Thanks to you
Now I get
I get what I want
Since you been gone
You had your chance you blew it
Out of sight, out of mind
Shut your mouth I just can't take it
Again and again and again and again
Since you been gone
I can breathe for the first time
Im so movin on
Yeah yeah
Thanks to you (thanks to you)
Now I get
I get what I want
I can breathe for the first time
Im so movin on
Yeah yeah
Thanks to you (thanks to you)
Now I get (I get)
You should know (you should know)
That I get
I get what I want
Since you been gone
Since you been gone
Since you been gone
I groaned as there was a sudden burning pain in my shoulder, it felt something like what Jacob had describe when he said he first changed. The burning spread through my whole body and I jolted to my feet and without my command my legs carried me to the forest, i only caught a worried glimpse from the Cullens before i was in the forest.. I was farther in then I expected to go before I gained control of my feet, but also by then the burning had come to the point where I could do nothing but fall to the ground.
There was cracking in my body and something told me it was my bones making that sound. My legs started to decompose as well as the rest of my body, to the point I could see my muscle tissue and bones. It hurt like hell, but I couldn't scream or even cry, I was to focused on the pain I was going through. I wished for it to be over but it didn't happen.
This was my punishment for lusting after a female, my step sister no less. The gods were sending down there rage, and it was hitting me with full force. I prayed for forgiveness, and when I peaked my eye open I vomited onto the ground beside me. My body had become nothing but connected bones, and my eyes widen as I watched how my bones expanded and then broke before new ones grew in there place. Suddenly it came to me that this could possible happen to my head, finally my tears shut down. Luckily though my head didn't explode like the rest of my body, but it start to burn beyond belief.
I passed out after my torso had decomposed and exploded. But the next time I woke up I was on the ground again for the third time this day. But something was different I felt shorter to the ground, but I felt like I could rule the world or take on the Incredible Hulk. It wasn't until I looked around did I see a white cat tail behind me. Turning around it disappeared and I went in a full circle, then oddly I felt like I was one of the animals that would chase their own tails.
I froze and I looked down, and noticed I had white paws, a snout, and a tail. Finally I guessed that I must have shifted like the Quileutes did. Picking up the scent of freshwater I followed my nose and soon I came upon a small stream. Looking into the water my eyes widen, I was definitely not a wolf, but I was an animal.
Okay so first off Sorry for making another story before finishing my first one, I'll try not to make a habit out of it. Also I don't know much on drugs other then addictions and crap like that so if you have information on that it would help a lot, Lastly Review and tell me what you think and sorry for any errors.
