Sam Chooses Poorly

Author's Note: And yet another recurring theme that I think has probably run its course.

Sam's a smart guy. Hell, he's a genius. Everybody says so. He even got a full ride to Stanford! Plus, Dean's been following him around all his life being a good example. But still, every time he's left to his own devices, Sam makes bad choices. He drinks demon blood. He chooses Ruby over Dean. He settles down with a married veterinarian rather than look for his missing brother. (And, seriously, WHAT were they smoking when they thought that up? Does anybody not on the show's payroll think that was a good idea?)

I, for one, think it's time to let Sam grow up a bit, learn from his past mistakes and start acting like the smart guy we all know he is. Unfortunately, I have no actual sway with The Powers That Be, so I figured I'd try the time-honored strategy of Ridiculing Them Into Submission. Hey, it worked with my pregnant niece! Her daughter is starting kindergarten this year as Jane instead of as Everlasting Sunshine. ;)

Disclaimer: This collection of drabbles is not intended as Sam-bashing. It's intended as TPTB-bashing!

I. (Drabble - 100 words with a side of limp!Sam)

Sam moaned.

Dean hurried back with a fizzling glass of medicine and helped his younger brother drink it.

"I don't understand how you got so sick so fast," he growled. "What did you do when you left the library?"

"I just stopped off for an ice cream cone."

"Could be food poisoning. Maybe? Where'd you go?"

"Baskin Robbins. You know? The place with the . . ."

". . . thirty-one flavors? Yeah, I saw it when we drove past. Looked clean enough. Doesn't mean anything. What kind of ice cream did you get?"

". . . all of them?"

II. (Drabble - 100 words)

Dean pulled his pocket knife out and stooped to cut the ropes around his brother's wrists and ankles.

"We're done here," he said. "The Good Witch of the North had a cursed wand. I salted and burned it and they've all gone back to being a normal bunch of drama geeks. Say, how'd you get caught anyway?"

"I don't know, man. I was wearing the same costume as twenty or thirty other people, but they just immediately singled me out and grabbed me. Like they had some kind of radar!"

"Huh. That's odd. What were you dressed as?

"A munchkin."

III.

Sam made short work of Dean's bindings and caught his brother's weight as he slumped with pain and fatigue.

"Sorry! I'm sorry! I wanted to be here sooner. I tried, Dean. I really tried!"

"I know you did."

"I stole a car," Sam explained, "but the owner had a moped and chased me down."

"On a moped? Wow! Musta really wanted it back!"

"No, actually, he just wanted to thank me. And he helped me push-start it when it stalled."

They reached the exit. Dean saw the vehicle parked next to the Impala and face-palmed. "Dude! You jacked a Yugo?"