Disclaimer: I don't. Sadly.
All I see is a blur of red.
Your blood surrounds me, condemns me. Every memory of you that I have haunts me.
My heart feels like it's about to break. We're so close, just so close. I can almost touch your slender fingers.
Just almost, but almost is enough to break my heart.
Countless times, I have questioned if I would have been happier without this accursed object. Would I have been happier if I let you go? Would I have been happier if I could always see your lopsided smile?
I don't know.
I regret what could have been. I regret what we might have had. What I regret most is… your death.
I never speak of it save in whispers. My unseen tears drown me, consume me… they are so close to killing me.
Lately, I've been thinking of you. Your face, your lips, your mesmerizing eyes. I cannot forget your face or your person. Your voice rings in my head, surrounding me. Even though you're gone, you're all that I am. You are the one who makes me complete. I wanted to be god, but what is god without the one he loves? That god is nothing. He may have everything, but he is nothing.
I keep fantasising that you are alive. With my mind, I am able to let my fingers touch upon a world where you truly are alive, and I mourn even more for whatvb we should have had. It was my mistake, I know.
I know that he will kill me. I know your successor will destroy me; obliterate me. Your successor will bring me back to you. He will give me my life… our life.
When we are floating about in nothingness, do you think we could touch? Do you think we could sense each other? Could we love?
Perhaps you hate me.
My heart is already half broken. Nothing matters any longer. I just want to be with you again.
My fingers slide against my watch. I try to tell myself that this is for my own survival. I fail.
Bullets slash across me.
"Someone kill these guys!"
And me, especially me. Kill me. I was the one who killed you. I didn't understand then, but I do now.
I didn't get to say the words I always wanted to. These are the wrong words, the words neither of us ever wanted to hear.
Aishiteru, L.
I'll be joining you soon, I promise. I'll be there in the sea of darkness. The only thing you feel.
Wait for me.
A/N: Hope you enjoyed!
