Author's Note: Well it's been a while. I mean a while. I just suddenly felt inspired while writing an essay for my acting class. So this is what you get when you mix wine, Yael Naim's version of Toxic and Kingdom Hearts. Normally I don't write in first person, but this originally started off as a personal essay..

Pairings: Riku and Sora, hinted Akuroku (of course)

Disclaimer: I own absolutely nothing.


I couldn't help but feel that every time I saw him, I was in the worst circumstance imaginable. I was either in the dining hall, shoving food into my face and ending up with pieces of broccoli stuck in my teeth or he'd see me the one night I decided to drink way too much and "adventure" on campus. So needless to say, I seemed to have the "best luck in the world."

When I was seventeen years old, I was told I had hypoglycemia. Meaning, when I don't eat, I tend to get sick and throw up. Unfortunately, when I was first diagnosed I didn't really think my reaction would be severe. There were days I would spend the whole twenty-four hours writing poetry or just getting lost in my imagination and eat nothing the whole day. These days never ended well. Sometimes by around five o'clock I was already huddled over from the stomach pains. Once the pain started, if I tried to eat, my body would reject every single bit of it. It was wise to stick near a bathroom or trashcan when I was having a bad day.

I distinctly remember my doctor telling me the worst thing I personally could do on an empty stomach was drink alcohol or orange juice. I was never sure why orange juice was an issue, but I figured a little sip of something here and there wouldn't kill me. I remember one time, my freshman year of college, I ended up not eating very much that day and got very sick in middle of what would become Kairi's annual end of the semester get together. Of course I was drinking on an empty stomach and I was probably trying to impress him by making him think I could hold my liquor. One moment I was taking tequila shots with Selphie and Tidus, the next thing I know the room is spinning and the only things keeping me from toppling over is the trashcan someone shoved in front of me. Do I need to elaborate? Naturally, he witnessed the whole thing. I think what really sucks the most is after the whole ordeal I was so unbearably coherent, that I understood to the full extent what had happened.

I had thrown up barely even three hours into Kairi's big party in front of Riku. Should I say it again? Mother fucking sexy silver hair god Riku. Even thinking those words to myself left me with a huge lump in my throat. I tried to swallow but I stomach was so weak from the lack of sustenance I got sick again. I knew I should have eaten at least a sandwich before I left home. Why did I always have to be so stubborn when it came to doctors? I was convinced if I took enough vitamins and drank enough water my system would balance out. Maybe it was time I really took what they told me into account. I suddenly felt soft hands place themselves gently on my shoulders, "What do you need?" I heard them speak. Their voice was so smooth and kind, but it was much too deep to be Kairi's. I thought maybe it was my friend Axel or perhaps my lab roommate Demyx who always seemed to jump into action when I needed them. I lifted my head, expecting to see a familiar tattooed face or a blonde Mohawk but I was met with two vibrant aquamarine eyes. Staring me directly in the face was Riku. I felt a bright red blush creep across my face and my pulse quickened. His silver hair fell around his shoulders and face effortlessly framing his features. I noticed how the light silver color of his hair was the perfect contrast to his tanned skin.

"I- I… I'll be fine…" I managed to muster "I just need to eat something." I finished, shyly hanging my head in utter mortification. When I imagined myself face to face with him, I never thought it would be over a bucket of my own puke. My imagination was much more ideal and romantic. This really couldn't be happening; I could only imagine what Riku must have been thinking about "light weight Sora." My head mulled over all of the terribly possibilities until I felt his hand tenderly fall upon my back. My blush deepened; not only was I shoulder to shoulder with the boy of my dreams, but he was rubbing my back.

"It'll be okay Sora" he said gingerly. He knew it. He knew my name! I felt my heart sore and suddenly my chest felt like I had butterflies instead of lungs. If it was possible for my face to get redder, it did at that moment. I lifted my head up in an attempt to speak to him. Unfortunately, to my utter horror the feel of butterflies was just another wave of nausea hitting me. In the instant, I wanted to die, shrink into nothing or be abducted by rogue aliens. I had just puked all over him. He sat back, looking down at his vomit covered clothing. All I could do was hang my head into the trash can and wish it would swallow me whole.

"I'll be right back" He stated with a strange look and took off in the direction of the kitchen. I immediately let out the breath I had been holding the whole time. My panic level went through the roof, what should I do? Let Riku take care of me and never be more than "Pukes McGee" to him or leave with the small amount of dignity I have and one day we'll laugh about it? The thought of being forever friend zoned by the most wonderful boy I had ever met made me sit straight up and reach for the nearest thing to grab on to. This happened to be Kairi. Her smiled quickly faded into a horrified expression once she took in my state of being.

"What happened to you?" She leaned down to my level, brushing my bangs out of my face to examine my eyes. "Are you dying, Sora?" She jokingly said, her face flushed from the numerous drinks.

"I'm having a drunken hypoglycemic attack and I just threw up on him. Get me out of here" I barely squeaked out.

"Who are you talking about?" Her brows furrowed and she looked puzzled.

"Riku." I dead panned. She winced, knowing my plight.

"Oh shit! That's bad. Don't worry, we'll be inconspicuous." She clapped her hands and then two sets of arms scooped me up from the floor. I looked to my right to spy a mop of red hair, definitely Axel and on my left I saw the friendly blonde Mohawk. "You guys get him out the back door and I'll dispose of the evidence" and just like that, Kairi was gone and I was snuggling my perspiring face against the soft grass of her front lawn.

"Okay Hug-a-bunch, time to get you back to your brother" Axel chuckled, picked me up from the ground and slung me over his shoulder. The motion was so quick it sent my vision back into a spinning motion, I couldn't help but let out a groan. "Oops, sorry Sor. Let's get you a burger before home". I drooled at the thought of a greasy big mac to soak up the alcohol from my system. After that all I remember is singing Elton John to the rollerblading waitress at Sonic; of course Demyx videoed the entire thing. But hey, what are friends for?


After that incident, it was hard to talk to him for a while. When I would pass him on the way to my mythology class I would immediately pick up my phone and pretend to be preoccupied with something important. The image of what he saw and what must be going through his head smacking me in the face. Though, I never missed the way those eyes who look at me until the last second. I guess, in retrospect, the whole thing was hilarious, Murphy's Law in full effect. At the time it seemed as if the earth was going to collapse in around me and the reality I knew was cease to exist around me. All I could think about were those silky hands drawing concerned circle along my back in what was almost a caring gesture. As much as the memory warmed my heart, I couldn't face Riku yet. How could he ever find me attractive after being an innocent bystander in my whirlwind of vomit? The thought left a feeling of doom in my stomach.

I had turned the story over and over again inside my head. Each time I tried to give the night a more ideal outcome, but to my dismay, it always ended with me running away. As much as I wished Riku and I were madly in love and expecting a child; I had decided to throw inhibition to the wind and make an ass of myself. I threw my Fundamentals of Speech book across my dorm, sighing loudly and dramatically.

"I can't take it anymore!" A voice shouted from the other side. Funny, it didn't sound like Axel, my suitemate.

That sounds sorta like Rox-

"ENOUGH, SORA!" My thoughts were cut short by a seething spikey blonde midget, otherwise known as my younger brother Roxas. The blonde nearly shattered my mirror as he flung the door open, busting into my room. "I'M SICK AND TIRED OF LISTENING TO YOU BITCH AND MOAN ABOUT SOME STUPID PARTY AND SOME STUPID BOY!" He only paused for a second to take a breath "If you really feel that strongly about him, don't give up just because you're a super lightweight and can't handle a few shots!" He threw his hands up in exasperation.

I blinked. Twice to be exact. "Roxas… Why are you here? I thought you went back home days ago?" I could see Roxas stiffen and his faced turned a bright shade of red.

"T-that's beside the point!" he managed to spit out "The point is: one stupid insignificant moment of embarrassment is not enough to ruin your love life forever! It's only your freshman year for Christ's sake! Think of all the stupid things you'll do in front of cute before you graduate!" Roxas then proceeded to grab me by the shoulders and shake me violently "PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER MAN!" I'm not sure if he heard my cries of "But I PUKED on him, Roxas! PUKED!" he seemed to be enjoying my torture a little too much.

"Roxas! Don't kill the poor kid, I think he sees your point." How long had Axel

been standing in my doorway? Roxas, suddenly back to his normal less-violent self, released my shoulders. The redhead slinked his way over to my bed. Gently pushing Roxas out of the way he leaned down to be directly at eye level with me. "He's right though, Sor. You gotta shape up and go get him." Something in his eyes left me frozen and unable to protest. "Get off your ass and show that pretty boy what you're made of!" He gave me a playful smack on the arm.

Just as quickly as the two barged in, they were gone. I could vaguely here Axel's voice in his room saying something along the lines of "So I take it he knows about us?" a loud crash and various curses followed. But Axel was right, Roxas did have a point. A very large, point in fact. Maybe it wasn't the end of my existence as I knew it? Roxas had a nasty habit of always being right, especially when it came to me. Maybe I just needed to change my outlook? I began to mull everything over again, and just like that I remembered my favorite inspirational quote of all time: "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."[1] Oh Eleanor Roosevelt, you always knew exactly what to say! "No one can make me feel inferior without my consent…" That was it! I chose to be embarrassed; I chose to make a big deal out of it. Come to think of it, no one had mentioned the incident to him at all. Well, I was done with hiding and feeling sorry for myself. Starting tomorrow, I had a new outlook on life. I jolted up to a standing position on my bed, striking a victorious pose. "Nothing can stop me no-" then I fell off my bed, landing with a loud thud.


A/N: Well I was going to leave this as a super long oneshot, but I'm going to have to break it up into two parts for my own sanity.

Clearly, Sora and the gang are in college.. American college because it's the only one I've been to.

R&R!

Part two will be up soon if you'd like!

-theLooBird (Formerly DxT)