Notes : Here's the penultimate part of the "My little brother TK" series, Yamato is now 20 years old, okies, that's all you need to know, enjoy..



My Little brother TK - 20 year old Matt

I pick up my diary once again, realising how much I've let my writing slip recently, however my life has been a hectic one since you last heard from me. My band The Teenage Wolves are currently in the middle of our latest tour and we're hoping to hear our new album has reached the top spot again. Things have changed since the days where we used to practice in Gendo's garage but they've certainly changed for the better. Our first number one came when we were sixteen and success has followed us ever since!. On another subject, I'm happy to say I did pluck up the courage to ask Taichi out, and we've been boyfriend and boyfriend for four years now and we couldn't be happier. Taichi has been so supportive when I've had down days and sunk into depression. He always manages to make me feel better about myself, he means the world to me. TK is at the tender age of seventeen, and we're closer than ever. Just the other day he bugged me for tips on romancing Kari who he has been seeing for two years. We don't talk much about the past, I think we're both trying to forget it, almost like it never happened. I've never been so happy before, things are really looking up. However, my new happy mood fluctuates for a second when I see my reflection in the mirror. My fingers raise to my throat as I touch the scar that circles around it. I remember the night I got the scar.

**flashback**

"Yamato you get out here now"! HE rattles the door, I guess he wants to know why I haven't made dinner. Well, I don't care anymore, I don't care about anything. This is no way for a sixteen year old to live, locked up like a prisoner in my own home. I hang the guitar string from a hook in my ceiling that used to hold my aeroplane model when I was younger. I expertly make a noose. I stand on a chair and slip my head into the noose I just made. I stand their for a few seconds, listening to HIM yell, taking them as my last sounds I will ever hear. I quietly sing lyrics to the tune in my head.

I am so lonely....you don't even know me...but you'd like to stone me...

Eventually I kick the chair from under me and the pain hits me as the string cuts into my neck, I dangle there as it gets harder to breathe.waiting for my own mortality..

**end flashback**

Thank God, My father broke down the door and saved me that night. Otherwise I wouldn't be here writing this today. I bet you're thinking it's strange I don't refer to my father as HIM anymore..well, I think we found our peace. After my suicide attempt, we had a long talk at the hospital where he stayed with me the whole night. He explained how he had never meant to hurt me and treat me badly. He told me about his own upbringing, which sounded ten times worse than mine. He admitted that was the only way of raising children he knew. Eventually my father booked himself for therapy sessions where he could sort out his own pain and anger. Now we're almost like proper father and son, it means so much to me to see his face in the crowd at our concerts. The best present my father ever gave to me was after our first album got to number one. He looked me in the eyes, hugged me and said "I'm so proud of you son". That made the both of us cry, still brings tears to my eye even now as I think about it. Finally I mention my mother, whom I have not seen for years now, we keep away from each other as much as possible. Her upbringing was not hard, and I have no sympathy for her. However, I hold onto the hope in my heart that one day I will be able to forgive her. My thanks however and my highest praise, is for the one person I love more than life itself

My little brother TK...

THE END