The Way to Recovery

by Lirulin

Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me, it's all property of C.S. Lewis and Disney. I also do not make any money with it.

Author's Notes: This is for SentimentalStar who put the idea for the story into my head so that I just had to write it. It follows my other two stories Resilient Fealty and Razors to My Heart, so please read those as well. :)

I also dedicate the story to my granddad who would have been 104 the day before yesterday and whom I still miss after twelve years.

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Chapter One
Love Hopes and Endures all Things

I don't know where Peter is at the moment, and frankly, I'm not even sure if I care. Last night has to have been one of the most horrible battles I have ever experienced, and I need to be alone now before I either break down completely and turn into a sobbing mess or become so furious that I kick Peter through the wall. Neither option sounds too thrilling.

Did I think things could not get worse? Did I think our relationship had alread hit its all-time low? Well, I have just learned that as long as you can say, "This is the worst", it most certainly can and will get still worse. He couldn't even look me in the eye!

So I now have retreated to one of these numerous small caves to be alone and to get my bearings. The raid was total failure, we lost so many, and the sight of them massacred in the courtyard will haunt me for a very long time. I am not even totally sure what went wrong. Caspian simply stormed off after Peter nearly attacked him, Susan has disappeared as well, and it's of course out of the question that I talk to Peter.

I am truly and honestly confused, and all I know is that it wasn't Peter fighting down there in the castle. It hurts to realise that even his fighting style has changed so much that I no longer recognise it. He has never been this uncoordinated and random before, just slashing straight straight on, seemingly without analysing what he's doing. If I previously thought I didn't understand him, he has now become a riddle wrapped up in an enigma for me.

I'm not renouncing my decison from yesterday, I'll still follow him, and I'll love him always, but at the moment I would like to shake him and pound some sense into him. What is going on inside his head, what did he want to accomplish with this rash, carelessly planned battle? I don't think we have ever had a council of war that was shorter than the one yesterday afternoon.

Somehow it appeared as if he was dying to do something, to rush out, to prove himself. But... that's stupid! Why would he need to prove himself? He knows we stand behind him always, doesn't he? And anyway, Aslan himself made him High King, so there is no reason for him to verify his position in any way. But as I don't know what's going on in him anymore, I have no way of knowing what he thinks and how he reasons with himself.

It's so frustrating, I should be there for him, if only to argue with him, but he won't let me. And I can't force him of course, that would only hurt us both more...

There is a commotion outside, and suddenly Trufflehunter barges in, completely out of breath.

"Sire, you have to come with all haste. There is something happening in the chamber of the Stone Table."

I get up and sprint into the tunnel system, fear coursing through me. What more could go wrong? Have we not suffered enough already? Why do I have to be right in saying it can always get worse? I only hope it's not Peter and Caspian dueling. That would simply be too much...

But no, there he is, coming with Trumpkin from the other end of the corridor. I try to catch his eye, but he refuses to look at me; face tense and Rhindon in hand he rushes into the chamber. I shake my head, pushing the hurt to the back of my mind and draw my sword as well, following Peter as always...

And I stop dead in my tracks. My fear dissolves in a wave of fury. What is she doing here?! How dare she intrude on our lives again?! A glance around the chamber tells me all I need to know. There's Caspian, standing inside a glowing magic circle drawn on the ground, hand stretched out and a glazed expression in his eyes. And then there are a hag, a werewolf and Nikabrik. I did not like him from the beginning. He had the look of someone who dabbled in dangerous things.

It's obvious what they are trying to do, and it's also clear that we will prevent it. Peter is already charging the hag, and the werewolf has picked me as its target, so no time to gather my thoughts.

My battle is short and fast, before I know it, it's already over, the werewolf lying dead at my feet. I will never understand creatures such as them. What did they wish to accomplish? Aslan defeated and killed the Witch, and as surely as I know that the sun rises every morning, I am certain that she would not be able to harm us anymore because He is the victor.

I look around the cave to assess our situation and to see if everyone is alright... and my heart almost stops. Peter is standing there, in front of the White Witch, not doing anything, just staring at her. I can guess what she is doing, having experienced it first-hand. I'm aware of her powers of temptation, but it seems as if Peter is not and can't resist her.

Whatever he may say, he now needs me more than ever. When he is weak, I can be strong, and when he falls, I can help him up again. I once read somewhere, "Bear ye one another's burdens", and it seems to fit to the situation at hand. It really sounds like something Aslan would say, and I suddenly know what I have to do.

I run up the stairs to the dais, around the columns to the back of the icewall. It shimmers faintly and looks quite serene, as if it was not in the least bit evil, but I know the truth. When you've fallen to temptation once, you will be able to recognise it much better the next time. And I thank Aslan on my knees that he saved me, so that I can now be there for Peter and fight for him.

I raise my sword and plunge it straight into the ice, through her back.

A wave of power ripples over me, a silent scream echoes through my mind, and in my soul I hear a faint roar. A feeling of warmth and love envelops me, and then the ice cracks and shatters to the ground.

I see Peter, sword lowered to the ground, staring up at me in abject shock and terror. I look into his eyes, and suddenly it's as if a veil is drawn back. For the first time in a year I can see what's inside of him. There is so much insecurity and longing and sorrow and guilt and helplessness and fear that it is almost painful to watch, but I won't turn away now because I at least begin to understand.

There are finally the first inklings of the true reasons why my Peter diappeared a year ago. A spark of hope starts to glimmer in my heart, perhaps there is a chance for reconciliation, given time and patience.

We are still staring at each other, but then his face crumbles a bit, a tell-tale sign that he's holding back tears, and I know I have to get out for now. The whole situation is somewhat overwhelming, and I really am not in the mood to make a scene here in front of everyone. That's something between me and Peter alone, and we have to sort this out in private. I mumble something, I'm not even sure what. I know my mind is good at improvising, I've probably just repeated a phrase someone has said in the last few days and that has stuck in my mind.

Then I leave the chamber, retreating to my small cave again. Who would have thought that thirty minutes can give you a completely new outlook? I can feel a smile creeping up on my face. Now we just have to win this war, and then I'll sit Peter down for a good long talk. He will tell me what was going on, what truly made him behave like he did, even if I have to bind him to one of the many columns here to get him to stay still.

After seeing what I just did in him, I'll not back down anymore. Now that I can hope once more, I will move heaven and earth if I have to, to finally get my Peter back.

TBC

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So, I hope you liked it. Please let me know what you think about the story.