LOSING HER

AUTHOR'S NOTE/DISCLAIMER

Related to "Like Jericho, I Fall", "Quick Visit", "The Reason I Did It", and "Discovery" and takes place during "Carry Me". For this fic, Kelly and Anna are just friends and his lines of saying "Baby" and honey" will be flashbacks. Kelly's thoughts during the flashbacks are underlined. Chicago Fire belongs to Dick Wolf and NBC.

Kelly sighed. He couldn't believe Anna had signed a DNR. Why was she giving up? The sound of the machine flat-lining interrupted his train of thought.

"Anna? Anna?"

"Baby? Baby?" Kelly asked frantically. Come on, Chels…fight! he thought to himself.

"You gotta-gotta fight," he told her, caressing her head and smoothing back her hair. Come on, Anna. Come back to us, he thought. Even though they hadn't known each other long, she had become one of his best friends. He couldn't lose her. "Hey, Anna, you gotta fight," he insisted. He wasn't ready to lose her. They hadn't had enough time together. He wanted to get to know her more. As the machine's tone continued, it began ringing in his ears as his mind once more went back.

"Honey, don't go," Kelly begged, kissing Chelsea's forehead. She always loved it and it was guaranteed to wake her up. Please don't leave me baby, he thought, as the tears started to fall. "Don't go," he begged, his voice breaking as the tears continued.

"Hey guys, you gotta help her," he said, his voice catching as the tears started to fall. No…it's happening again. This can't be happening again, he thought to himself. It was just like he had lost Chelsea. Can't do this again, he mused. He just couldn't. He then started stammering as the doctors came in and pulled him back.

"Chelsea, honey? Honey?" he asked. Please…please no, he thought to himself, momentarily placing a hand over his mouth. He wasn't ready to lose her. They needed more time. They hadn't had enough time.

"You gotta-you gotta help her," he stammered. "Why-why aren't you helping her? You gotta help her."

"We can't."

"Forget the DNR! I know her! I know what she wants! Okay? Okay?" He stared in disbelief, barely registering what was going on. No, no, no, no, no! his mind screamed. "You're doctors! You're doctors! Do your job!"

"Kelly."

"She wouldn't give up."

"Kelly." Who is that? It's not Chelsea's dad. The voice is wrong, he thought to himself. He was losing her. He was losing Chelsea.

"She wouldn't-she wouldn't-will you do something?"

"It's okay," he heard the voice say and the next thing he knew, someone was holding him. "It's okay," the repeated as the hold tightened. Then it hit him: Anna's dad. This was Anna's dad. He wasn't losing his wife again. No, this time, he was losing a really good friend. And it hurt. It hurt so damn much. He couldn't do this again. As the doctors called the time of death, he began sobbing, leaning into the man's arms and hanging on to the words that he told them even though he didn't quite believe them.

THE END