This is written after all the great books in the "Tomorrow Series" by John Marsden.

Disclaimer: I own the Kleenex you will need after you read this. Besides that, nothing.

Ellie's Thinking.

I sit on the edge of Tailors Stitch. Looking into Hell. A place of beauty. Of serenity, of loss. Love. Hate. I know now, many things that lots of people my age don't know, and will never know. Even after the war. I am still Ellie. He is still Homer. Corrie is still Corrie even if she buried under six feet of dirt. Chris is still Chris. Even if he made mistakes, and Robyn is still Robyn if she had died with a look of bravery on her face, instead of the uncertainty. Lee is still Lee. And Kevin is still Kevin. Fi is still Fi. Lots of things have changed us. Yet we are still the same. Maybe not in the ways we were in peace time. But the similarities that cling to us are. I am a lot of things. I have said a lot of things. Things that I should have never said, or done, or told, but I think about how my life wouldn't have changed if none of this would have happened. Would I be here. No. Would I have lied. Yes.

There is a fine line between love and love. I loved Lee. I loved Homer. Hell, I loved Corrie, and Robyn and Kevin and Fi. Maybe I didn't love Chris enough. Or the soldier that Lee and I killed in cold blood. Was that different? I couldn't tell you. I've seen a lot of people die in the last year, each of them were meaningful to someone.

Right now, the only thing I could think of was the night at the airfield. Homer drove so fast down the lane. I thought the plane was going to hit us. How did he know. I've had so many near death experiences, each of them I am grateful for. I couldn't, once again tell you why.

So live your life to whatever extreme you want. I have pushed myself to the brink of death, to love, to hate, to jealousy, to fear, to rage. I have felt everything there is. I am Ellie. I always will