I'm really guilty (pleased) to say that here's another NaLu fanfic.
This time it's an AU where Natsu is a monster (imagine what E.N.D. would be like) and Lucy is in a predicament.
Happy reading!
A Shadow's Love Poem
Chapter 1: The shadow
He watches her silently form the safety of the shadows. She is beautiful as always, her long golden hair underneath the sunlight, her doe-like brown eyes and her warm smile which could melt the thickest ice. He wants to touch her, wants to talk to her, wants to get to know her better, but he can't.
He can never do that.
~.~.~.~
He slumps onto the riverbank, not caring if the mud would stick to his clothing. The leaves from the branches offer much shade and the cool water running through the ground makes a calming sight. He lets out a soft sigh, one filled with longing and crushed hope.
Bending over, he observes his reflection in the water. It was an image he had saw many times and wished to change every single time he did. Why? Well, he was simply a monster. Horns sprouted from tufts of salmon hair form his head; fangs sharp and deadly; scales covering the sides of his face , his arms, legs and torso; two giant leather wings black as death fixed to his back; his nails were claws. Yet he retained somewhat human features, for example his overall body structure.
Not a entirely a human, not entirely a monster; a wanderer. He was a wanderer with no where to go, no where to fit into.
Disgusted with his own appearance and grey nature, he growled lowly, clawed at the water and stalked away. He could care less where he was going at the moment, all he knew was anger, anger, anger. His footsteps made loud thumps on the forest floor, leaves crunching under his feet. His wings were kept tightly behind him, his fists balled. Abruptly, he hit the side of a tree, vibrations causing the birds to fly quickly away as if sensing much danger.
He cursed under his breath.
~.~.~.~
He has no idea how he came to in a dense forest near the city of Magnolia. He has no recollection of his past. He has only himself, and he hated himself from the start. What was he but a savage beast which has taken on human form?
He hunts for food or steals them from homes close to the edge of the forest, drinks water from the rivers, makes a nest in a cave. He bides his time with various activities, his favourite is flying above the clouds in the sky, but he is easily bored with regular routines.
What possessed him to impulsively stay close to the edge of the dense forest to observe the humans from afar that day is also one of his great mysteries. He could have been hunted by the humans themselves, pitchforks and torches blazing, but he does not lament it for if not for that impulse, he would not have seen her. Her, whom has haunted his dreams both day and night ever since his eyes had seared her image onto his brain.
Lucy. Lucy Heatfilia was her name, a daughter to one of the richest merchants in Fiore. She took his breath away, and suddenly he knew what he was going to do for the rest of his days. Suddenly, he felt that his life had been given so that he could do more than laze around in the forest until he died. If he should die, he felt that he would not hesitate to do so for her. That was the power weilded by Lucy, the power to enchant a monster's heart.
~.~.~.~
He discovers that Lucy loves to read. She sits under an apple tree in her garden during the windy afternoons for hours on end with a book in her lap. He loves the various faces she makes when she is reading, able to define each one. She tilts her head when she seems curious, frowns making wrinkles appear between her brows, smiles softly at the text, laughs when she reaches a comedic part. And oh, the tinkling sound of her laughter melts his heart into goo.
He wonders what it would be like to read. How do humans decipher lines and lines of text endlessly, to him it seemed magical, like the power he has to ignite flames on his hands and feet. In a bid to want to know her world better, he snooped here and there around nearby villages, towns, and nicked a few books. Piling them all up in his cave, he tried his hardest to learn how to read.
Of course, it was at first to him, another mystery.
~.~.~.~
Mastering the common tongue of humans had proved difficult and trying to him, yet he was stubborn enough not to give up. Today, he could understand, speak and freely use their language however he wished. The downside was he had no one to talk to.
He began to understand the meanings of the titles printed on Lucy's books. Many of them were children's stories. Tales of good and evil, tales of caution, tales of princesses and their white knights. Most of those he had read before, he hid the books in his cave. Some of Lucy's books, he had no clue what their content may be. Titles like "Most Romantic Love Poems" for example, flew right by his head.
He wanted to know, he needed to know. All for the sake of trying to understand this human girl better. After a while, he actively began to seek for books with similar titles, going from town to town, village to village. They were never easy to come across and on several shameful occasions he had to resort to stealing from Lucy's personal collection during the night and returning them before dawn.
And on those occasions he fancied he could still feel the warmth of her hands from the pages of the book, those lines of words which contained so much meaning. He held the books close to his face and managed to inhale the sweet scent of apples, grass and strikingly Lucy.
~.~.~.~
He continues his watch over her day by day, noticing how she is growing into a splendid young lady. Yet, recently her face shows signs of stress and of worry. She is not her usual cheerful self on most days, instead there seems to be a downcast cloud hanging over her head. He wishes to be the one to take all her pain away.
During a gloomy day last week, he noticed her sitting under the apple tree without a book in hand, here eyes seeing some faraway place. He did not like seeing this Lucy who looked so miserable and hopeless, a look he knew very well. Without a single sign of warning, the girl broke down into tears, hugging herself tightly and letting the waterworks flow. His heart clenched painfully and a dread built up in his stomach, a sickening of the heart. As her cries grew louder so did the dull feeling in his chest.
He clutched the front fabric of his clothes tightly, hoping beyond all hope that he could wrap his arms around her instead; hug her until all her broken pieces are glued back together.
~.~.~.~
He did not truly comprehend it himself, why he chose to write that kind of letter in her most fragile moments. He knew he had to do something, anything, to make her snap out of her misery. If he could he would have much preferred to face her and wash all her problems away, yet he was a monster. There was no telling how she might react, how pungent he may seem to her.
So he wrote. He had no one to check it for him, using only his knowledge attained from hours of reading the books he had over and over, the ones which now line the walls of his cave. Whenever he read the short note over, he cringed in embarrassment and shame, but he steeled himself when he jumped onto her window sill that night.
This is for Lucy. I'm doing this for Lucy.
Her sleeping form always looked so peaceful, free from the clutches of the material world. That night, as the moonlight filtered in through the thin curtains, he could see her brows knitted tightly together, mouth curved downwards into a frown. Debating internally, and finally coming to a conclusion, he lightly tranced his finger across her forehead in an attempt to soothe her. Miraculously, her worried face soon disappeared, reverting back into the peaceful lull. He smiled lightly to himself as he placed the note on her desk, leaving nothing else behind.
~.~.~.~
She awakens to the usual sound of birds chirping outside her window. Still under the veil of sleep, she slowly crawls to the edge of her bed, seats herself upright and yawns. As the days go by, it was getting much harder to leave her nest of blankets behind. Most of it was due to her wanting to escape the cruel fate known as reality.
She was to wed another merchant's wealthy son in a month, all of it against her wishes. Ever since her mother died, the bond between her father and herself had been gradually thinning. Now, with this act of his that bond had been broken.
Being held in their grounds like a prisoner, not allowed to voice out her own opinions. She hated it.
If only she could be more like the characters in her books! Some of them strong-willed and powerful like Titania the fairy queen; others who were lucky enough to have their prince charming save them from the clutches of evil.
I don't need a prince right now. I need to get out of here, and I don't care if I am to be a dragon's prisoner instead. She scans her room filled to the brim with books as her only company. Anything is better than this.
She grabs the hair tie from her table to tame her long locks, when she notices a yellowed piece of paper folded neatly on her tabletop. She remembers nothing about leaving a note on her table yesterday, nor the day before that. Curious, she picked it up.
Just how can I be by your side, I wonder.
Again, this voice disappeared mid-air and didn't reach you.
The outline that I drew of your profile was beautiful.
I was stained, and I fell into the darkness.
The world is never fair,
Yet I continue to think of only you, always.
Someday we'll surely try and meet,
That's what I believe.
I had a feeling that I heard your voice,
Riding on the wind that night.
For example, how about we
Rendezvous in our dreams?
You might not notice,
Since I'm always waiting for you.
I want you to smile,
So I can smile as well.
Now, I'll gently embrace,
Even this sad fate.
"What a fool," I said, as I dance,
Together with the mischievous moon.
I noticed your profile as you sadly looked down,
You shifted away so I wasn't even able to touch you.
I don't know the reason why your tears are overflowing either.
So I guess the only thing I can do is stay here and cry with you.
If we don't meet and just stay this way forever,
Will our thoughts fade away, I wonder?
Though I've grown jealous of,
The rain that falls on your cheek.
For example, how about we
Exchange vows within our dreams?
Someday, the next time we meet,
Maybe you can be seen with me.
Someday we'll surely try and meet,
That's what I believe.
I had a feeling that I heard your voice,
Riding on the wind that night.
For example, if there is
No future in this dream,
Then I'll just wish for your happiness
From within the shadows.
If you smiled for someone,
Would I be able to smile, I wonder?
It's a sad fate, but
It's the only love that I'll sing of.
For an unfathomable reason, Lucy felt fat hot tears spilling from her eyes. Maybe it was due to the hopelessness of her situation, maybe it was due to the happiness of having such a romantic admirer. Yet she knew that it was more of a rush of relief.
Someone. There's someone out there who can help me.
Steady on for the next chapter! (Ideas and critiques are very much welcome)
*Note: The note is an english translation of the song "A Shadow's Love Song". [Try Kakihara's version, VA of Natsu]
Hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I have enjoyed writing this plot bunny into a story.
Until the next chapter!
