A/N: All right friends, one last thing to throw at you. This is based off an idea I had a while ago about something from Starscream's and Skyfire's past popping up to invade their new lives. It's G1, and hopefully funny, a little raunchy, scary and all get out. I resist labels!

I know vampires are kind of old hat now, but if you can get past any prejudice, I might surprise you. This will become Starscream x Skyfire x Oc eventually, but it's mostly about the seeker. And it could become M later. I hope you enjoy it, and if you have any questions, please let me know. Please read and review!


"Is the seal secure?"

"Yes, for the fourth time, it is secure. Nothing is going to break that door."

The explorers heard a deep, faint groan, and they exchanged nervous glances.

"Maybe I'll check it again."

Skyfire stopped welding the console and got up, ambling over to the corridor. Starscream followed behind his fellow explorer to check the door as well. They had only been traveling for a few megacycles when they had been lured to a planet that was giving off anomalous readings. Skyfire bent down by the door, doing a diagnostic of the door seal while the nervous seeker looked over his shoulder. The scans beeped in response, indicating there was a complete vacuum.

The shuttle then turned his head around to look at his partner. "I'm still not sure we are doing the right thing. Why don't we just go to Cybertronian command and let them deal with it?"

"Skyfire, we go back, we're never going to be able on this mission again. Do you want to go through all that lobbying to get an approved trip, again?"

Skyfire looked crestfallen. "But Starscream, he's a sentient being-"

The red and white seeker shook his head. "It only has one thing in mind. Even its very cells are hostile to our programming... And since we can't kill him, this is our only option."

Skyfire looked horrified. "Kill him? What do you mean? You mean... you didn't try, did you?"

Starscream glowered back. "It was self-defense. And I was trying to protect you, not like you were any help. Our E.M.P. bursts have no real affect, and its cells regenerate if they are destroyed by anything other than ultra-violet rays. I'm not going to murder him, but we can't let him loose, either. It'd be tantamount to murdering our own planet."

Skyfire still wasn't convinced. "Maybe we could reason with him-"

He was cut off by a clashing knock at the door. The door pinged, showing that it was completely solid despite the deafening crashes at the door.

Skyfire backed away slowly, and bumped into the seeker who nearly jumped out of his frame. Their optics were trained on the door, praying to Primus that it held.

"Guess my null-ray wore off."

Then there was a scratching, and a high-pitched wail that sounded so otherworldly that both of them threw their hands over their audios. The screech carried through the door and reverberated down the corridor, bouncing off the console room and returning back to them on the other side. The shuttle and seeker shuddered.

"Let's go," Skyfire mouthed. Starscream nodded, and they left the facility alone for millions of years.


Starscream scowled as he walked across the sandy plain. It would have been so much easier to fly to the ruins, but it just had to happen that there was a sandstorm brewing just beyond the ridge. He knew from experience that even fine granules of silicone slagging hurt when they got in your joints. It was like trying to move your arm, but there were microscopic needles poking the nerves in you shoulder and elbow. As they scraped the inside of your nerves, you were dimly aware of the pain coursing through that side of your body but you were more focused on your screaming vocalizer. The best way to avoid it was transforming before the flying sands blew and hoping that all of the baffles and sealers were in operation.

What brought him to this sandy planet was not curiosity or pleasure. Those two often went hand in hand for the scientist Cybertronian, but these days he was more often doing anything but science, and therefore not any pleasantness that went with his former profession. Megatron was not good with utilizing his resources. And even when he did, he always used them...incorrectly.

He frowned. Megatron is what was forcing him into this anyway. It was slagging Megatron that had put him on another "exile asteroid," and basically said, "Good luck getting back, moron. You might have trouble because I took out your navigational positioning with that last punch to the helm, but that is why I'm such a sadistic tyrant." In reality, Megatron had said, "Imbecile." And left.

Granted, it had been just a typical day in the Decepticon ranks, including the standard infighting and a suspiciously placed mine tile in Megatron's path set only to detonate when Megatron's exact weight pressed on it as he walked by. Who knew that a carousing bunch of cassettes, when combined together in a conglomerate of punches and yelling, weighed the same as Megatron? They set off the tile, blowing up a decent fifth of the base, but somehow managing to survive the blast. Starscream had pulled up in the throne room and had gone and started his victory speech about their dearly departed commander.

Until a fusion cannon blast ripped through his right wing. The said gunformer was right behind him.

So Starscream had sat there on the asteroid for orns tying to figure out which way Earth was and how he should go about getting there. He started by repairing his wing- a shoddy job to be certain, considering he couldn't work on his own back. Still, he was functional if not a little peeved that his pristine coat of paint was marred by his own repair attempt. He flexed his wing joints appraisingly. When he didn't gasp for pain he figured it would have to do.

Next: navigation. Unfortunately for Megatron, Starscream always knew where he was because of a detailed map of the galaxy that he had helped compile. Years of exploring had to be good for something. In fact, he doubted there was a Cybertronian map that didn't have his or the shuttle's name on it. So, whether on purpose or not, taking out Starscream's positioning array might not have had the desired effect of leaving the seeker stranded for long. He looked to the stars and counted them, looking up their arrangement to his internal databanks to find out where the Pit he was.

His red optics narrowed. There was an oddly familiar binary system very close to his position. In essence, two blue giants had formed rather close to one another and were now locked in a deadly dance, spinning around one another at a slow and fixed pace. They both were exerting the same amount of internal pull and so pulled on one another to continue the dance for eons. Eventually, the spin would be thrown off balance by something, and one of them would crash into the other.

He smiled. Even he, terror of the skies, was not immune to a perfectly drawn metaphor. He tilted his helm and imagined that one of stars had a reddish tint and the other was a duller gray. Now all he had to do was somehow cause one to fall into the other... and only one would survive, cannibalizing its neighbor.

It was then that his smile faded. That binary system had been discovered by he and that shuttle millions of years ago. That means that he was on the path that he and Skyfire had traveled. That also meant he knew exactly where he was.

He stopped for moment when an idea hit him. If he was on the path, then that means he was close to that. Oh...how perfect.

Cue his transformation and flying off in the direction of a small orange-red planet near the binary.

And so he continued to skulk on the sandy plain, furtively looking back at the looming storm that threatened to do wonders to his paint. But he was already here and he had a plan that would certainly surprise Megatron.

In the past, Starscream had always taken a more solo approach to defeating Megatron, with the occasional help that he created. He had tried to manipulate the Autobots, aliens, humans and other beings to no success of helping him to his goal of a lifeless gray Decepticon general. So for the last few attempts, he had tried inventions meant to take Megatron's spark that held no pretentious aspirations other than their main objective. He had cut down on the frivolous excess.

The result had been less fun, and less successful. Plus, Megatron mocked him for his change in tactics relentlessly so it only made the aftermath harder to bear. Overly complex and agonizingly simple produced the same effect. Fusion cannon. Repair. Laughing stock. Bristled and pissed seeker.

But not again. No. This time, this slagging time would be different. He was going to get help.

He came to a huge boulder that was worn from thousands of years of sand erosion, but still was three times the size of the Nemesis. Huge maybe didn't cover it. Maybe mammoth, but Starscream was not a fan of using Earth terms, even if the derivative of the word did predate the sentient humans he had come to despise. This boulder was one of three or four partially covered behemoths (a better term... maybe) that stood hackneyed and akimbo of one another arranged in a seemingly random fashion.

But boulders arranged randomly? It was not the fragging sand that had placed them here. In fact, the rocks formed the Cybtertronian symbol for disease.