"I'm sorry, Vhenan.." He bent down and kissed her, there was so much passion, but there was sadness, it was a goodbye. She could feel him pulling the power out of her. Slowly he turned and walked away, she saw the sorrow and loneliness. Everything around them started to fade, but she never stopped watching him and just as everything was about to disappear, he looked at her over his shoulder.
Betrayed. Hurt. Lies. The voice rang in her head. Repeating over and over.
She didn't remember much. It was the last thing she remembered, and of course it was of him. It had been just over a year since the defeat of Corypheus and the realization that Solas, or Fen'Harel, had planned most of it. She stared at her hands, there
was a scar where the mark used to be. She noted how the chains had marked her skin, scabbing from the time she spent here. They all tell the same story every time she asks, though she stopped asking long ago.
She had appeared in front of the broken eluvian, hunched over and barley conscious, her left hand was bleeding immensely from where the mark used to be. When they had approached her to ask what happened, she started attacking. No warning, and no signs
of corruption. It was as though she was in a blood haze. She had killed some guards before Bull had knocked her unconscious. They had put her in her room at first, but when she awoke she began attacking again. They finally had her moved to the dungeon
and shackled her hands together.
She had been in this darkened room fora little over ayear. Her once short hair was now long and thin, it was a tangled mess that fell to the middle of her back. Her clothes were tattered and dirty. Her skin that was tanned from months being
on the road, was now pale. Once the hero of the land, now one of the most feared elves in Thedas. For monthspeoplecame to visit, and after awhile, the visits slowly became far and few between. Now it was just one of the soldiersthat
would come in to give her food.
She remembered asking one of the guards to kill her, just be done and over with it. She felt nothing anymore, there was a darkness in her that stirred. Told her to break free, destroy everything in her path, but she knew it would solve nothing, just bring
more pain and suffering, something she fought for and vowed would never happen again. The hardest was sleeping. She did not dream anymore, it was just blackness, nothing came to her dreams or nightmares. She thought about returning to the fade, but
she couldn't taint the fade that she tried so hard to mend. So instead she stayed in the darkness. Her ears twitched, she could hear footsteps coming down the hall. They were short, heavy strides. She lifted her head and turned it towards the door,
hoping to get a better angle to hear. The voice was faint, but she recognized the voice, Varric. She chuckled to herself and let her head hang again. It had been months since his last visit. With a moan, the door slowly opened, but she kept her head
down. He stepped closer, knowing how far her reach was, he stopped just short.
"Hey Sailor." She didn't meet his gaze, just sat in silence. "Still playing the tough gal?" He gave a soft chuckle. He looked over at her plate, it looked as though it hadn't been touch, letting out a soft sigh he picked up the plate and moved to her,
knowing how risky it was, but he was concerned more than anything. He sat in front of her, pushing the plate in front of her hands. "You have to eat." Finally she looked up at him, he was giving her a soft smile, she noticed that Bianca wasn't anywhere.
Meeting his gaze, sudden rage started to fill her, she moved back, hearing the rattling of the chains she realized she was shaking.
"go.." Her voice was barley a whisper, she brought her knees up to her chest and buried her head, letting her hair fall around her. "I don't want to hurt anyone….. Just go…" She sounded broken, no tears came though, they haven't since Solas walked away
from her. Hearing shuffling, she peered through and saw him sitting in front of her again, holding the plate of food.
"The fact you're not lunging at me now, shows improvement. I can see you restraining yourself." He went to reach out to her, but instinctively he brought his hand back. She watched him, a range of emotions ran across his face. From sadness, anger, to
a faint bit of happiness. The anger slowly disappeared, it lingered, but it wasn't consuming.
"I'm sorry I have not been around." Sadness crept across his face.
"No one has." She brought her gaze to the floor. "It's been months. I just see the guards now, though I haven't actually looked at them. I don't blame them. From hero to villain." she gave a chuckle.
"We've all been a villain at one point in our lives."
"where are the others?" Lifting her head she kept her gaze on her hands. This was the most someone stayed around her, the most anyone talked to her. For a long time there was always some sort of mage poking, casting spells, they were tormenting her, trying
to figure out was wrong, never getting the answer.
"Most have stayed here in Skyhold. Leliana, Josephine, Sera, Bull, Dorian and myself. Cullen is helping other soldiers who were victims to Lyrium. Cassandra is in the Hunterhorn mountains rebuilding the Seekers. Sera is travelling, not sure where she
goes but she does send letters. Vivienne now runs a college for all mages to attend, though she is very strict about who gets to get in, no magic for harm type deal." He gave her a soft smile. "The only one we rarely see is Cole, he returned to the
fade not long after, he comes around every now and again." It was the most brief answer she could have gotten from him, but she didn't blame him.
"what about…." She couldn't say his name, at least out loud that is.
"There is no sign of him. Has no one told you or spoken to you about this?" Genuine concern laced his features.
"when people came to visit it was mostly to poke and prod. Always demanding things from me. They kept their secrets to themselves. Eventually they all stopped coming. You're the first in months. I don't blame you all though. I've turned into the thing
we fought hard against." This time he did touch her, he placed a hand on her shoulder, it gripped lightly.
"You are not Corypheus. I would strike down anyone who speaks otherwise." She gave a crooked smile.
"Then would you strike me down?" He flinched as though she had slapped him. He now gave her a slight shake.
"You. Are. Not. Corypheus." There was defiance in his voice. Releasing her, he sat back and pinched the bridge of his nose. "The elven tribes are disappearing. After a couple weeks of you being in here, suddenly the elves were disappearing, vanishing
in the night. We could only assume it's him. Very few tribes remain now. We don't know why."
"He plans to bring them all back to Arlathan. To destroy the veil. He wants to bring back his people, destroying this world in the process." She felt the pang in her heart for the first time in a long time. The feeling of abandonment, of loss. He would
destroy this world, along with her in it. He claimed he loved her while he planned to destroy her. Anger began to rise again. Betrayed. Lies. The voice rang in her ears. It was a familiar voice. She didn't know who it was, but it was making
the anger rise. She pulled on the chains bringing them to her. She looked at Varric with desperation. "run.." He didn't move. Just sat there, confused. "VARRIC RUN!" Her voiced boomed in the room. He finally stood and walked to the edge of the room,
standing there with his arms crossed. She was now seething in anger. Betrayed. Lies. Hurt. She lunged at him, the chains pulling her back, stopping her from reaching him. She was desperately trying to reach him, her arms moaning in protest.
He did not move, he didn't flinch, he just stood there, making her more angry with every passing moment.
"I've been travelling you know." He leaned against the stone wall, watching her as she kept trying to reach for him. "Been to the farthest parts of towns, cities and encampments. Trying to find some answers, anything. It was on my way back, Cole appeared
out of no where, as he usually does. Still wears that damn hat you know." He gave a soft chuckle. The anger was still there, but she was know kneeling on the ground glaring at him. "He said he had found a part of an answer. He never made much sense.
Said he searched the fade, furthest parts he could, talked to as many spirits that would talk to him. Told them about you and if they knew why. They think there's a reason you are the way you are." He pushed off the wall and headed for the door. He
didn't look back at her. "You just have to wait a little longer." With that he left.
Her body was shaking, pain and anger rang throughout her entire body. The voice kept repeating the same words over and over again. She pulled, twisted and clawed at the chains. Finally her body started to become exhausted, everything started to slow and
seem less urgent. She allowed herself to fall to her hands. There was no way to fix this, she was broken.
Broken…. Yes… Broken… Pain… Lots of pain…
-x-
The next couple weeks had passed like they normally do. The voice in her head telling her what she already knew, the guards coming and going with her food that she barley touch, and then left alone in the darkness, letting in consume her like it normally
does.
She was in the furthest corner of the room, the chains were slightly tugging at her, but she remained in the corner, knees to her chest when she heard steps, one was light, as though trying to be heard and the others where heavy and short stride, Varric
most likely. Taking a deep breath she ready herself for the two to come into the room, trying to maintain the anger the voice was trying to give her. She heard a couple of the guards raise their voice, there was a flash from under the door and loud
thuds. Now she was curious but afraid. No one had attacked the guards since she was here. Bracing herself she tucked as much as she could into the corner, as much as the chains would allow her. The door opened and held her breath, she saw the familiar
face.
"C-Cole?" Varric stood in the doorway, as though watching for other guards. He hissed at Cole in a low voice.
"Let's go fade boy, we don't have much time." He then disappeared out of the room.
Cole was in front of her, unlocking the chains but leaving the shackles on. He motioned for her to stand, when she didn't oblige he picked her up in a swift movement. He started walking towards the door, causing her to squirm in his arms, realizing for
the first time, she was afraid to go outside. His grip only tightened.
"Trust me. Please." His eyes were pleading. The anger was building, the same darkness washing over her, before she could lash out Cole touched her forehead. Her body went limp in his arms. "Wrong, I know, but for safety." He nodded as if to give himself
reassurance.
"Cole, we have to go now!" Varric was now running full speed at them with guards chasing him, swords drawn. He was beside them as Cole gave a flick of his wrist, causing green smoke to form around them, and with that, they were now at the Well of Sorrows.
She tried to speak, but nothing was moving. Cole noticing put another finger to her forehead.
"Can talk but not move. Move head, yes. Body no." Cole placed her against a tree.
"What's going on? H-how…" It was then she noticed shadows coming out from behind the rocks. Panic set in until she recognized the faces of her fellow companions. Cassandra, Cullen, Dorian, Iron Bull, Josephine, Leliana, Sera and Vivienne. They gave her
soft concerned smiles as they approached. She noticed for the first time, the voice had quieted and was now a tugging thought in the back of her mind, anger still lingered, but for the first time in almost 2 years she was her.
"By the maker, I didn't think you would be able to do it Varric." Cassandra stood with her arms crossed, staring at him.
"Thanks for the vote of confidence Seeker." He sneered at her.
"We don't have much time, they will suspect who took her." Leliana walked to her, placing a hand on her shoulder before turning to the others. "We need to go through as soon as possible. Cole, how long will it take to get the Eluvian working?"
"Night. Won't be around, but will open. Need time to not be interrupted." Cole pointed to a rock.
"Very well, should we put her back to sleep until we are ready?" Leliana gave her an apologetic look.
"No. Spell casted. Can't move body but can talk. Will be safe. Voice dulled. Well helping like said it would." With a quick nod he headed to the rock where he sat crossed legged and began softly chanting causing the eluvian to give off a soft light.
They all got comfy, bringing out there packs. Setting up a small camp. She watched them all, it was as if they were on another mission, as though nothing was different. It was Dorian who sat next to her, leaning against the tree.
"Must have a lot of question eh love?" He smiled at her. Giving her a soft nudge to the shoulder. "Ask away." Bull and Cassandra joined them. Bull sitting while Cassandra stood.
"Why?" Her voice was but a whisper but Dorian heard her.
"Why what?"
"After all this time?" She looked up at them, tears forming but not falling. "You all stopped coming. Allowed them to, to, to experiment on me, let me believe I was truly alone, especially after…." Her voice trailed off.
"It wasn't what we wanted." Bull stared at her. He was never one to look away. "The conclave was always watching us. We did fight in the beginning against them. Begged them really, which is something I don't do." He made a face of disproval.
"After what happened, they didn't want to take any chances and deemed that you were now tainted after everything. They still believed you were attached to the Anchor." Cassandra spoke, she always did sound as though she was insulting you, even when she
didn't mean to. She noticed that her hair was a little longer, it was in a small pony tail, but wisps of hair were around her face. "So instead, we let them believe we had given up, in that process we had to let you believe to." She looked at the
ground kicking the dirt.
"Believe us love. It is not at all what we tended, after everything you have done for Thedas, for us and our families." Dorian played with blades of grass as he continued. "It took longer than we wanted. But after 9 months or so, we managed to get in
contact with Cole. Cole had been searching the fade for answers. It was about 2 months ago when he finally got one."
"What answers are you looking for?" She was confused. They had all let her believe they didn't want her anymore, that they had given up and allowed her to be consumed by the darkness that swelled inside her. Allowed the voice to continue to tell her how
broken she was. "What does this place have anything to do with me?"
"Cole had asked around in the fade to all kinds of spirits what could have happened to make you, lash out, as you did. For awhile he said none would talk to him. Finally they slowly started coming forward, saying that a lone wolf was telling them to help."
He smiled at her and quirked an eyebrow. "Seems as though you left a bigger mark on him than we all thought." He and Bull have a soft chuckle while Cassandra rolled her eyes.
"Why would he help after all this time? He's the one who made me like this!" Anger began to rise, and for the first time, it was her anger.
"We don't know why now. All we know is he gave us the answer. Loosely explained, when he took the Anchor, he didn't realize he was taking apart of your soul with it, and in that process, one of the corrupted managed to squeeze in. So in a way, this corrupted
has been attached to you since you came through."
"How wouldn't he have known? He was there, right there! He would've felt it." Her anger kept rising.
"We don't know." He gave her a sad smile, as though he apologized for not having that answer. Closing her eyes she breathed in, attempting to calm herself.
"What does the Eluvian have to do with any of this?" She nodded her head towards the mirror.
"According to Cole and Solas, going back to the Ruins to the spot it happened, we should be able to pull the corrupted out."
"That's all fine, but wouldn't another one just take it's place?" He gave her a mischievous smile.
"That's where Solas comes into play." He breathed caught in her throat. "He said that we should all go through, place you where you saw him last then wait in the corridor. We're assuming he would like to see you alone." He gave a soft chuckled and waved
his eyebrows at her. She let a small smile play across, he always found the odd things charming. But the smile faded as sadness washed over her, her eyes slowly watering causing Dorian to stop. "I'm sorry love, I thought you would be happy." He reached
over and wiped her tears.
"He broke me, he made me like this. It doesn't matter if he fixes me, I will still always be broken in some way." Dorian brought her into his arms. It was the first time she had someone hold her in so long. It seemed foreign but it was comforting to know
her friends had not given up on her. They sat in silence, he continued to hold her as the others prepared. She didn't cry, and he didn't ask her to, they just sat there with his arms around her. Waves of emotions kept going over her. She didn't know
what to feel as she didn't let herself feel anything but anger. He kept playing with her hair, it was a simple but calming motion. Out of all of them though, Dorian was the only one to feel like family. Like an older protective brother. He pushed
her when she needed it, but was always there to comfort her when things got bad, never faltering his loyalty to her. "Why didn't you visit?" Her voice was soft, filled with hurt and angst. She felt him flinch.
"If I had, I would have fought my way out of there with you in tow." He lifted her chin, so she was looking at him, he had tears in his eyes. "You were the one person who accepted me for who I was for the first time in my life without asking questions.
Just like that, you were ok with it. You defending me when others would try to take me down. You became my family. True family." He brought her into a tighter hug. "I hated every day I did not see you. Knowing what they were doing, which is why I
fought so hard to get you here now." It was now she wished she could move. She wanted desperately to hug him back. "I am letting you know now, that when I do see him, I will be knocking his handsome little ass out." This made her laugh, for the first
time in a long time.
"Not before I do." They laughed together, causing the others to shake their heads at them. They sat like that until the sun went down. With a burst of light, the Eluvian came to life once again. Cole now stood, gracefully jumping off the rock and walking
towards them.
"Ready. Must be fast, this side won't last long." He bent down to lift her, only to have her shake her head. "Can't let walk. Not until in ruins."
"Is it ok if Dorian carries me?" She didn't want to leave the comfort that she hadn't had in so long. Cole nodded his head.
"Must hurry." Dorian stood, giving his staff to Cole to hold onto. He knelt down, turning slightly to the side putting her arms around his neck, and fully turning so his back was facing her, slowly he stood, reaching around and hoisting her legs around
his waist. She rested her head on his shoulder. She watched as her friends slowly disappeared through the mirror until it was just Dorian, herself and Cole. Cole gave them a smile as Dorian stepped through the mirror.
She blinked away the bright spots in her vision as she watched the ruins come into focus around her. It was just as breathtaking as it was the first time she came. As run down, and broken they were, she could only imagine how beautiful they were before.
Behind them, Cole stepped through. They all walked in a brisk pace, following Cole through the maze of ruins, going through the Eluvians as she did before. A sudden fear washed over her. She had no idea what to feel or say when she saw him again.
As though reading her thoughts, Dorian spoke.
"Just say what's on your mind. Don't worry about his feelings. Scream at him if you want. If you can't bring yourself to do anything, I'll march over and punch that smug elvish face of his." He turned his head and gave a giant smile causing her to give
a small laugh.
They were now in front of the last mirror. The mirror to where she saw him turn the Quinari into stone. Where he took everything from her. She wasn't prepared for this, she never thought she would see him again.
"Rest stay here. We go through." Cole placed a finger on her forehead again. "Can move again." He brought out the key from his pockets and unlocked the shackles, a sense of relief washed over her wrists. They were bruised and scarred from how long they
stayed on. Fresh scabs were still present, but it was nice to move without constraints. She gave Dorian a squeeze as the 3 of them walked through. It looked the same as before. Statues of stone around and off to the right was a small archway that
overlooked the ruins. Slowly she slid off Dorians back, holding onto him until she was sure she could walk on her own.
"We must go now. Will be waiting on other side." Cole gave a brief nod before disappearing through the mirror.
"I will be right there. If anything happens, you shout and I will be at your side." She gave him a hug, before letting him go. He gave her a smile and he disappeared. Leaving her alone.
It was funny how no matter what happens, at some point she is left alone. Sighing to herself, she slowly made her way up to the arch, moving around the statues. She looked around, it was truly beautiful here. She understood why he wanted to restore it.
She just didn't understand why he wanted to destroy everything to bring it back. There had to be another way. In the midst of her thoughts she miss-stepped, causing her to lose footing on the steps. She braced herself for impact, but she felt a pair
hands catch her instead. They lifted her slowly, turning her around but she kept her eyes down, staring at the ground. The hands released her, it was then she realized she was holding her breath. It was when he spoke her anger rose.
"Ma Vhenan.." There was a loud noise. She felt her hand sting, looking at him she saw a faint red mark on his face. She had just slapped him. He didn't reach for his face, or back away, he just looked at her, sadness in his eyes. She felt the darkness
crawl back in, her anger making her shake. The voice rang through her head, but this time is rang clear.
He betrayed you! He made you hurt! He left you behind, broken, in pain. Don't forgive him, kill him! She lunged at him, but he gracefully side stepped and grabbed her wrists, pinning them both behind her. She tried to break free, but his grip
just held on tighter, causing her to hiss in pain. Hearing that his grip loosened just enough for her to push him away. Turning to him again. He wasn't looking at her, but at her wrists, shock played across his face. Kill him! She lunged at
him again, this time, he kept her facing him, holding her arms in the air. Staring at her wrists. It was as if she had no strength at all the way he was holding her still. She decided to try and kick him, only making him twist and kick her feet out
from underneath her. Causing her to fall on her back with him kneeling above her, still holding her arms. She bucked and struggled, but it seemed not to faze him. He stared at her wrists a little longer, he gave a sigh and looked at her, his voice
booming making her shrink into the stone beneath her.
"Enough." She stared at him his eyes were glowing a soft blue, causing her to stop moving. Anger seething in every fiber. "Calm yourself Vhenan."
"I am not your Vhenan." She spat the words with hatred and venom. He gave a slight flinch but didn't move.
"You are angry, I understand-" She started to struggle, twisting and moving every which way she could while screaming at him.
"NO YOU DON'T!" He tightened his legs, causing hers to stop moving. He gripped her arms tighter, careful not to touch her wrists. "You don't get to say you understand!" She watched him, his face now unmoving of any emotion. "You can't fix me Fen'Harel."
She watched as a faint of anger came and went on him. She snickered which caused him to glare at her, this time though, she didn't flinch, she met his glare with her hatred one, she could feel herself give into the corrupted inside. It washed over
her, finally, she let it have control. "The mighty wolf. Ha! You claim we make mistakes that are wicked, and maybe some are, but not as big as wiping your entire race. Condemning them to a mortal life as slaves for others." It was though she was watching
through someone else's eyes. She saw the pain and agony play across his eyes. The corrupted kept talking, pretending to be her. Apart of her wanted to reach out, but she didn't know how. She just wanted everything to be over. It wouldn't matter if
she was angry or sad, he wouldn't hear her. "You even condemned a fellow elf by the darkness you brought. You left her to rot in a cell, alone. Who was there for her? Have they told you what they did?"
"ENOUGH!" His voice rang loud, but it didn't faze the corrupted. Instead it laughed. Causing Solas to grip harder, she could see the anger in him, his eyes were now a full blue haze, he was bearing his teeth which now had fangs. There was black smoke
swirling around him. It didn't stop the corrupted though.
"They locked her in a dungeon, no light to be seen. They experimented on her with everything their little incompentent minds could think of. Lyrium, spells, even a few devices. Which reminds me, you should see the scars she has." It laughed again as Solas
growled at her. She then realized his hand was on her throat. "She ate enough just for her to pass by the days. She would pull at the chains, and after awhile, she stopped fighting." His hand tightened around her throat, she watched as slowly ears
began to form. "She's not afraid to die, she welcomes death. It's a better fate than what you gave her." Solas faltered. Giving the corrupted enough time to get her arm free and punch him, causing him to fall away from her. She scrambled and realized
where she was moving to. The cliff under the arch, turning she was facing him. The black smoke was violently whirling around him. He now had a tail which was wipping back and forth. Slowly he stood, turning to face her. Anger and fear laced his now
wolf features. "Say goodbye dear wolf." She felt herself slowly fall back. She watched as he disappeared and reappeared in front of her, holding her by the throat. He was baring his teeth as he growled at her. Fear washed over her, realizing it was
coming from the corrupted inside as well as her own.
Feeling her chance, she slowly brought her hands up to the one around her throat. He brought her closer, mere inches away from her, his breathing was heavy, he was grinding his teeth. He narrowed his eyes at her. Slowly the black smoke was surrounding
him. She knew she was seeing him, his true form of Fen'Harel. She saw how broken he was, how alone he had been all these years, all the pain and anger he had. With his other hand, he placed it on her chest. She felt something tugging at her. No! No! This isn't how it was suppose to happen! She
could feel the corrupted clawing at her, trying to stay. After a quick movement of his hand it was suddenly gone. He held her there though, she could feel his hand tightening and loosening as if unsure what to do next. His dark form and blue eyes
staring at her, the black smoke surrounding both of them. It was then she closed her eyes.
