Author's Note: A look into Lucius's and Narcissa's childhoods, and how their parents shaped them into the adults they would one day become. AU because in my personal head-canon, Lucius's mother died in childbirth. I don't know the true fate of Lucius's mother, but in my stories she died in childbirth.

"Toujours Pur," Abraxas Malfoy whispered in a low but deadly voice to his young son, who sat as stiff as a board in the chair facing his father's. Only a few inches separated father from son.

"Toujours Pur," Abraxas repeated. "What does that mean, Lucius?"

"Always pure," Lucius answered in a monotone voice.

"Be proud of it, Lucius," Abraxas hissed, the anger and the warning clear in his voice.

"Toujours Pur means always pure," Lucius spoke quickly, with the conviction and the firmness that he knew his father liked.

"And what does 'always pure' mean?"

"It means that our blood is pure, and that our blood should always be kept pure," Lucius explained in the mature voice of someone delivering a lecture that he knew by heart. "We are Pureblood wizards. We are better than everyone else, especially those Mudbloods that taint the Wizarding Society. Mudbloods should not be allowed to practice magic. Only Purebloods should be allowed to practice magic. Only Purebloods are worthy enough to practice magic."

"And what is our duty as Purebloods?"

"To purify the Wizarding Society. To eradicate from our society those that are unworthy to practice magic."

"And what creatures are unworthy to practice magic?"

"Mudbloods."

"Good boy, Lucius," Abraxas smiled, but the smile did not reach his eyes. "You are learning your lessons well. The Dark Lord will be so pleased with you. Now, tell me, Lucius, what is your duty to the Dark Lord?"

"To help him purify the Wizarding Society."

"And what does that mean, Lucius?"

"Torturing and killing Mudbloods and Muggles."

"And are you ready to do that, Lucius?"

Lucius hesitated. It was true that he hated Mudbloods and Muggles, and it was true that he believed that Mudbloods should not be allowed to practice magic. His father had taught him well.

But to torture and kill them.

Lucius suddenly felt himself being blasted out of his chair and onto the floor, followed by agonizing pain. He felt as if his body was slowly being torn apart.

He felt like he was slowly dying.

A part of him wished that he would die.

"You are such a disappointment, Lucius," Abraxas breathed dangerously as he continued to hold the Cruciatus Curse on his son. "Why can't you be a good boy? Do you want to disappoint the Dark Lord? Are you a Muggle sympathizer? Are you a Blood Traitor? Answer me!"

Lucius, however, couldn't speak. All he could do was scream.


"Toujours Pur," Druella Black spoke to her three daughters. "What does that mean?"

"Always pure," two of the three Black girls spoke in unison.

Bellatrix spoke the words with gleeful pride.

Narcissa spoke the words with the same pride as Bellatrix, but her voice was so naturally quiet that her mother barely head it.

Not that Druella really noticed her youngest daughter's quiet voice. Druella was too focused on what Andromeda had not done.

Andromeda had not spoken the words at all.

Both Druella and Andromeda looked at each other with such an iron determination that Narcissa swore that the table where they were all sitting was shaking.

Bellatrix looked as gleeful as ever. Bellatrix loved confrontation.

"You aren't being a good girl, Andromeda," Druella hissed.

"It's worse than that, Mother," Bellatrix laughed. "Andromeda is on the path of becoming a Blood Traitor."

Druella's eyes narrowed dangerously.

Bellatrix was practically hopping in her chair with joy.

Narcissa just wanted to leave the room and go hide somewhere.

"Cygnus!" Druella screamed.

Now Narcissa wanted to leave the manor entirely.

Bellatrix was feeling the complete opposite, and it reflected in her slightly crazed eyes.

Cygnus Black walked into the room, his eyes cold as they landed on Andromeda. To Andromeda's credit, she managed to meet her father's stare for several moments before she was forced to look away.

Cygnus glanced at his wife to confirm that it was Andromeda that was being the problem. Druella nodded her head in confirmation. Cygnus turned his attention back to his rebellious daughter.

"Your room, Andromeda, now," Cygnus whispered in a voice that would not allow any argument. Even Bellatrix seemed to be subdued by her father's voice.

Andromeda left the room as quickly as she could while still maintaining her dignity.

"I'm glad you two are good girls," Cygnus spoke to Bellatrix and Narcissa.

"Always, Father," the two remaining Black girls responded in unison, with Bellatrix's voice being much louder than Narcissa's.

Cygnus, however, didn't spare Narcissa more than a glance.

Bellatrix suddenly stood up and looked father straight in the eyes.

"And I can't wait to show how much of a good girl I am," she spoke. "Unlike Andromeda, I know and embrace my duty. I will never disappoint you or mother. Toujours Pur."

"Toujours Pur," Cygnus echoed, smiling at Bellatrix. He didn't look at Narcissa at all.

Narcissa wanted to say something, anything, to make her father and her mother as proud of her as they were of Bellatrix; but Narcissa knew there was no way she could express her devotion to blood purity with the same conviction as Bellatrix. Narcissa believed in blood purity as much as Bellatrix did, but Narcissa had never had Bellatrix's strong personality.

Even Andromeda, despite being on the path of becoming a Blood Traitor, had a stronger personality than Narcissa.

Cygnus then left the room, still not paying Narcissa any attention. Druella quickly followed him, also not noticing Narcissa.

Bellatrix glanced at Narcissa. "You may be a good girl as well, Cissy," she sneered, "but you are so spineless. I swear you are as spineless as that Lucius Malfoy."

Narcissa stood up so quickly that she knocked her chair over. "Don't speak about Lucius like that, Bella. Just because Lucius notices me doesn't make him spineless."

"Careful, Cissy," Bellatrix laughed cruelly, "one would almost think you actually care about Lucius. You want to be a good girl, don't you? Well, being a good girl means putting your duty to blood purity above everyone else. It would not do at all for a good girl such as yourself to put something such as love over 'Toujours Pur.' You know, Cissy, it is at times like these that I think you are more like Andromeda than is wise. Do you want to be like Andromeda? Do you want to be a Blood Traitor? Do you want to be as bad as a Mudblood? Do you want to be like a Muggle? Do you want Father and Mother to hate you? Do you want to be nothing?"

"No, of course not." Narcissa was now crying. "Please, Bella, stop. I am a good girl. I am. I swear I am."

Bellatrix gave her youngest sister a twisted smile of pride. "Good girl, Cissy," she cooed. "Good girl."


"How did it come to this, Lucius?" Narcissa asked her husband many years later in a desperate voice. "Haven't we always done what is right? Haven't we always done our duty? Haven't you always been a good boy and I a good girl? How did it come to this?"

Lucius looked at Narcissa with weary eyes that were still haunted by the time he had spent in Azkaban, eyes made even more haunted by the fact that the Dark Lord had taken over their manor.

"It's because of me, Narcissa, not you," Lucius answered in a soft, slightly choked voice. "I didn't do my duty well enough."

"Don't blame yourself, Lucius," Narcissa spoke firmly but gently, laying her hand on Lucius's arm. "Don't you dare blame yourself. You have always been everything a proper Pureblood is supposed to be."

Lucius looked at his wife for several long moments before saying, "Then, why do I feel so lost, Narcissa? Why do I feel so chained?"

"I don't know," Narcissa whispered, "but I feel chained as well."

Lucius and Narcissa felt the Dark Lord before they saw him. Out of instinct, Lucius placed himself in front of his wife, but he did so subtlety so that the Dark Lord wouldn't notice. The less the Dark Lord noticed Narcissa, the safer she would be.

Not that Narcissa was truly safe as long as the Dark Lord was there, but at least she wouldn't be in immediate danger.

It was much too late for Lucius to have any feelings of safety. It was much too late for the Dark Lord not to notice Lucius.

"I would think that you two would be happier," the Dark Lord said with a twisted smile that failed to reach his eyes.

"We are happy, my Lord," Lucius spoke quickly, but his voice was as hallow as his eyes.

"You don't sound very happy, Lucius."

"Only because I have disappointed you, my Lord."

"I pity your father. Surely he is rolling in his grave in disappointment. He did everything right in raising you, Lucius, but it would seem you took after your weak, pathetic mother. Didn't she die in childbirth?"

Lucius stiffened and there was a noticeable flash of anger in his eyes. Narcissa, knowing that Lucius's mother was a sore subject for him, gently touched his arm in warning.

Don't get angry. Don't give the Dark Lord any more reason to be angry at you.

The Dark Lord did not notice Narcissa, as he was enjoying himself too much with tormenting Lucius.

At least some things never change, Narcissa thought both bitterly and gratefully. Bitter because she was tired of not being noticed. Grateful because she most likely was not about to be punished because of the fact that she wasn't being noticed.

Lucius lowered his head in defiance to the Dark Lord.

"That's a good boy, Lucius," the Dark Lord laughed. He then turned serious. "The other Death Eaters will soon be arriving. I expect you and Draco to be present in the drawing room."

"Yes, my Lord," Lucius replied.

The Dark Lord gave Lucius one last disdainful look before walking past both Lucius and Narcissa, sparing Narcissa only the briefest of glances.

Neither Lucius nor Narcissa dared breathed until the Dark Lord had disappeared from sight.

"I'm so sorry, Narcissa," Lucius breathed.

Narcissa looked at her husband in surprise. He was not one to apologize often. And even though Narcissa had seen Lucius in several of his weakest moments (especially when he had been a child telling her about his father), Narcissa was still more used to seeing Lucius as strong and confident.

"I wish I could fix all this," Lucius continued, "but I don't know how. I cannot find a solution in anything that I have been taught. What should I do, Narcissa? What should I do?"

Narcissa was more used to this. Lucius often asked her opinion on important matters.

And there weren't many things more important than this.

But still, Narcissa would have never expected her or any of her family to be in the situation that they were currently in.

"Don't give the Dark Lord any more reason to be angry at you," Narcissa finally answered.

"So basically, do whatever he says," Lucius responded in a voice both snarky and broken.

Narcissa couldn't help but smile slightly. It was at times like this that she truly appreciated Lucius's tendency to have a snarky approach towards the world.

"Exactly," Narcissa grinned.

The brief moment free of fear and desperation did not last for long.

"I better go to the drawing room," Lucius spoke suddenly.

"I'm coming with you," Narcissa said quickly, taking Lucius's hand.

Lucius looked at his wife in surprise. "But the Dark Lord did not request your presence. I would feel better, Narcissa, if you were as far away from him as possible. It's bad enough that he wishes for Draco to be there."

"You are my husband, Lucius," Narcissa said. "My place is by your side. You have been alone for too long. Besides, I am afraid of what might happen if I am not there. You are full of so many conflicting emotions right now, Lucius."

"You're afraid I might do something foolish?"

"You were about ready to throttle the Dark Lord when he mentioned your mother."

"Maybe you better come with me then," Lucius muttered, "even though I wish it could be otherwise."

"Let's go get Draco," Narcissa spoke with as much strength as she could muster, even though she knew that in the inside she was starting to fall apart just as much as her husband.

Narcissa suddenly couldn't help but think once again, How had it come to this? They had always been perfect Purebloods. They had always been the good boy and the good girl. How had it come to this?