Hello, my little dungeon-rats! Happy Wacky One-Shot Wednesday! :) Who's ready for another Isaac oneshot? :D I sure am! So let's get the show on the road!
Obtained Item: Disclaimers!
The Binding of Isaac, including all related characters and items (c) Edmund McMillen, because he's awesome.
Original story of 'the binding of Isaac' (c) Genesis 22, not that it applies.
...Monster Manuel...Deck of Cards...Bum Friend...
Isaac's hand shook as he tossed his dice yet again. His showdown with Mom was looming, and he had little more than some rotten meat, a rusty coat hanger, and a few mushrooms to face her with. He could hear her breathing in the walls, feel her footsteps shake the floors, feel his heart stop whenever her shrieking "I~SAAC" rattled through the depths.
He needed something more, ANYTHING more. But all of his attempts were foiled by the cruel mistress of random chance. They hinged on the power of an enchanted dice, which glowed a bright red after three rooms of death and destruction fueled it.
...Kamikaze...Panties...Mr. Boom...
Finally, the moment he feared arrived; there were no monsters left to fight, no blood to sacrifice to his dice. And still, he lacked the power to defeat her.
Finally realizing the hopelessness of the impending battle, Isaac fell to the ground, pulling up the fabric of his hat in an attempt to dry his eternally-wet eyes. It wasn't much of a fashion statement; it looked more like the black wrap the ladies of the church wore, really. But for only seven cents in a shop a few floors ago, Isaac picked it up in hopes of keeping his bald head warm.
Ow! The runaway winced as he accidentally poked himself in the eye. He should've known better than to try so hard to clean his face.
As he looked down and his eyesight returned, he gasped. The dice was refilled with another glow, even without the proper charging. The shopkeep gave a laugh when Isaac picked up the headwrap. He called it a nun's habit and said it would turn him into an item martyr. Is this what he meant?
Desperate for any stroke of dumb luck he could get, Isaac tossed the dice again. Razor Blade. Useless. He made the mistake of using that item once before; the extra power was a nice punch, but not at the cost of hurting-
WAIT.
Shaking worse than ever, Isaac clamored into his purse and pulled out a shiny new bomb. He fought to hold onto the match as he stoked it against the dirt floor and held the tiny flame to its wick. Instead of dropping it and running for his life, though, as was his usual bomb-strategy, he held it close, holding his breath and bracing himself as the wick ran low.
BOOM! The runaway sobbed as the burn of the explosion melted his skin, turning his chest and arms black as a crisp. But it worked; the dice lit up in another glow.
Every hurt gave him another glow. Every glow meant another chance at the one item he needed to save his life.
...Mom's Bra...Magnet...Wiggle Worm...Dead Sea Scrolls...
His face and chest numb from all of the burns and explosions, Isaac only felt another ache when he reached back and discovered another heartbreak; he was out of bombs.
He needed to hurt himself again. Just one more, that's all he needed! The next item would surely be the one, the thing he needed to save his life!
Rushing out the door, he was quickly stared down by a set of gruesome, jagged spikes. Normally, the spike-traps were the bane of his existence; they stuck into his feet and never let go, and made running backwards in a room almost impossible. Flies were usually the most-harmless of the creatures Isaac found, but not when he had to avoid them in a chasm of spikes.
This time, though, they were a blessing in disguise. Isaac ran out of the gilded treasure room and towards the circle of spikes. His feet reflexively tried to stop, but when muscles and brain came to a head, the resulting trip sent Isaac face-first into their sharpened edges. He bit his tongue, doing everything in his power not to wail out in agony as the metal spines dug into his naked skin wherever they could and tore out bloody pieces of flesh when he got up and returned to the treasure room.
Every hurt gave him another glow. Every glow meant another chance at the one item he needed to save his life.
...Spelunker's Hat...Poop...Guppy's Hairball...Telepathy for Dummies...Blood Rights...
Finally, his entire body aching and drenched with sweat and blood, Isaac smiled as the item on the pedestal flickered into a burning red contact. MOM'S contact, to be precise. Perhaps not the deadliest item, but a single glance from Mom's glaring eyes would stop any creature dead in its tracks.
He jammed the lens into his eye, finally letting out a scream as he dug it in as far as it would go. Once it was in place, he blinked the blood from his eyes, then limped towards the skull-laden arch where his mother would surely be hiding. This was the moment. All of the ache and agony, all of the wasted bombs and spilled blood, all of it would pay off in this moment. Finally, justice would prevail, and he would defeat her. He would earn his freedom.
THUD. Exhausted and weak from the blood that still drained from the numerous spike wounds, Isaac fell flat on his back in the center of the battlefield.
CRACK. He saw Mom's shiny red heel from a mile away.
BAM. He never stood a chance.
I can't be the only person who never has good rerolls anymore, right? XD Anyway, thought this one made kind of an interesting oneshot. Hope you guys enjoyed! Thanks for reading!
§ Tucker's Mayflower, signing off! §
