Welcome! As promised on my blog, I wrote another Puckleberry one-shot. This one focuses on the possible Puckleberry Finn drama of the Bella Notte scene in New York. With Mark's crazy awesome vocals and hot guitar playing though, I really don't care what happens. Some Puckleberry would be awesome though.
Title: Bella Notte
Pairing: Puck/Rachel, minor Finn/Rachel
Word Count: 6,455
Warnings: Foul language because of Puck's mouth
Summary: They've always had this push and pull relationship, give and take, play a few games here and there. It hurts, but he does it because he loves her. Which is also why he grabbed his accordion and played this stupid song for her and Finn.
Noah Puckerman didn't understand why he was doing this, especially for Rachel Berry of all people. He didn't think that agreeing to another one of her bat-shit crazy plans would end up with him playing the accordion while he sang that stupid song from Lady & the Tramp with Sam and Mike while Finn and Rachel walked happily in front of them, arm in arm and more in love than ever. He knew why he did it, of course, but that didn't mean that he wanted to admit that to himself, or to anyone else for that matter.
They'd only been in New York for a day when she stopped by his hotel room, flustered and clearly upset. He invited her inside with no questions asked, immediately questioning her on what was wrong and what he could do to help. So yeah, maybe he had a soft spot for Crazy Berry, but like, didn't everyone? [No.]
Rachel Berry scurried through the hallway of the Marriot Hotel in Times Square, checking the room numbers until she came upon the one she wanted. Everyone had a roommate, and she was unfortunate enough to be assigned a room with the one and only Quinn Fabray. The second the petite brunette stepped into the room, the blonde lit into her, demanding that she stay away from Finn because everything that the once power couple had had, was over and gone.
She came face to face with his door at the end of the hall, the room number in gold metal shining in the rather bright hotel light. Her hand rose to knock, her knuckles tapping lightly against the wood. She heard the groggy, half-yelled profanities from the other side of the door, but stayed in place instead of turning on the spot like she typically would have.
"What do you want, Berry?" Noah Puckerman asked as he opened the door, cracking his signature half smile at the petite girl in front of him.
"May I come in, Noah?"
He stepped to the side, motioning her into the hotel room. He shared a room with Mike Chang, who had arranged with Mercedes that she'd go sleep in Kurt's room when he wanted to get it on with the other Chang. It was confusing as hell in his opinion, but kudos to Mike for getting some ass on this trip. Seeing as his relationship with Lauren didn't work out, he was officially single, but that didn't mean he'd go have sex with anything that moved. He was a new person.
Her face was flushed; her eyes glassy with what he could tell were tears. Fuck. Rachel Berry was going to start crying, and he just didn't do well with crying chicks. Especially a crying Rachel. That shit was just wrong. When Rachel cried, she looked like someone kicked her puppy.
"What's up, Rach?" he asked, sitting on the edge of the bed and patting the spot next to him with his hand. She had a hesitant gleam in her eyes, but eventually moved to sit next to him.
"As you know, I'm sharing a room with Quinn. I expected that things would be rather rocky, but I never expected this. She just started yelling at me, telling me that whatever feelings Finn had for me are completely gone because they are together now. I never meant to hurt her, Noah; I just thought that Finn might have made a mistake. After what happened between us, I knew that Finn was hurt. That was my intent. I never thought he would run so quickly back to Quinn in the manner that he did. I simply thought that we would discuss what happened and resume our relationship in a few days. I feel terrible knowing that I'm the cause of their relationship troubles. Why can I never do anything right, Noah? I sang Finn a song in hopes that he would accept my apology, and instead, everything terrible happens." Her voice cracked, pain leaking into her words. It was clear that she felt remorseful.
"Woah, woah, woah. Slow your roll, Berry. That shit isn't your fault. Finn's a douche, even I know that. He's playing the both of you, and frankly, I'm kinda sick of watching you wander around like you don't know what to do without him." Puck took a deep breath, prepared to retaliate further. "You do things right. You just fuck up sometimes, we all do. Your song was really great, but it went over his head. Sucks for him."
Rachel wrung her hands in her lap before throwing her arms around him, clinging to him. He always knows exactly what to say, what to do to make her feel better. That's what she cherishes about their friendship. He's always willing to be a friend, always willing to give someone the proper support and advice. He isn't the same boy he used to be, not by a long shot.
"I must ask a favor of you, Noah. Finn asked to meet me tonight, so we could go on a walk after we see the fantastic performance of Wicked. Perhaps you and the other men of New Directions will accompany us behind under the pretense of a musical ensemble trying to make our walk romantic? I certainly don't want to be alone with Finn given by current standings with Quinn, but it would be rude not to show up on his walk that he's asked me on, correct?" She already knew what he would say. He doesn't agree with her.
If it was up to Noah Puckerman, Rachel would have left Finn Hudson behind two years ago when he wouldn't leave Quinn for her and insisted on keeping Rachel a dirty little secret. He tried telling her this, but she never listened. The petite diva always said that Finn would come around; he'd change and realize that she was what he needed. Two years later and he still didn't realize jack shit.
"Yeah, of course, Berry."
So why did he agree to it? Because as much as he didn't want to admit it, he kinda had a thing for the little brunette sitting next to him with a hopeful look perched on her face. Of course, he always had to fall for the ones that were impossible to say no to. She was a hot Jew, and she did the guilt trip almost as good as his Ma. He was fucked.
"Oh thank you, Noah!" she squealed, throwing her arms around him once more.
He hugged her back cautiously, patting her back before running his fingers through her hair once. He remembered when she used to have long hair and no bangs. That was the girl that had caught his eye in her short skirts and knee socks. It wasn't that she wasn't attractive with bangs, but it wasn't her. She looked like Finn's creation.
"When you had long hair, you looked like a hot Jewish American princess," Puck commented absentmindedly, his thoughts spurting out of his mouth before he had a chance to even think about it.
Rachel froze for a second, before pulling back with a shit-eating grin on her face. Of course she knew by now. She always knew how he felt, and for a while, he thought that maybe she felt that way too. It was like she was playing a game with his heart though, seeing just how far he was willing to go for her. Little did Rachel know that Noah Puckerman would go to the ends of the Earth for her and her happiness. She bent down to kiss his cheek, letting her lips linger against the skin.
"If this is any consolation, Noah, I always thought your mohawk was nice, but I find you more attractive without it." Her comment was nonchalant, almost as absentminded as his. It meant nothing to an innocent bystander, but so much to the two teens that were gazing at each other, waiting for the other to crack. The tension could have been cut with a knife.
"Will you teach me how to play Call of Duty?" Rachel asked after a minute, attempting to make things just a bit less awkward between them.
Each hotel room came equipped with a television and gaming system, something the boys—even in the first day of being here—had made good use of. Mike and Puck spent the majority of the morning playing various games they came across: Call of Duty, Zombie Apocalypse, God of War. You name it, they had it.
"Your ass is so going to be kicked."
So that's how he ended up in a back alley of New York City singing some ridiculous song that was sang when two dogs fucking fell in love in a Disney movie. Sam and Mike reluctantly agreed when he told him that they'd try to sneak into a club after, and he couldn't have been more thankful. After some of the stuff that Finn had already said, Rachel was lucky Puck hadn't gone all Death Star on him. Even the two boys to his right were beginning to find themselves annoyed with Finn's idiotic nature.
As if on cue, Rachel turned around slightly, just enough to look over her shoulder, so she could motion at the accordion in his arms. It was a hidden talent of his, playing the damned instrument. She had this gleam in her eye, almost begging him to play and sing. He wasn't sure if it was to add to the romance of the fucking "Finchel" moment, or if it was just because she wanted him to feel less awkward. Either way, he couldn't even dream of saying no to her.
Letting out a heavy sigh, he began to play a few notes. It was one of her favorite songs, he knew. They'd watched enough movies together in secret after her breakup with Finn to know that "Bella Notte" was her favorite song from Lady and the Tramp. Maybe even Disney movies in general.
"Oh this is the night, it's a beautiful night." His voice was soft, gentle almost.
Puck watched the way Rachel walked arm and arm with Finn, a smile perched on her full lips. Finn had that goofy grin on his face as if to say that he won. He won nothing. If Puck thought Quinn would believe him, he'd actually go tell Quinn that her boyfriend was trying to hop on the Berry Crazy Train. It wasn't fair to Quinn, and it sure as hell wasn't fair to Rachel.
It should have been him, walking next to her while holding her hand. It could have been him, if only he stopped fucking around when he originally thought he should have. Yeah, when he thought about it, he really did like Rachel. She was kind and sweet, genuine and stunning. She believed in him when no one else did, cared about his well being when everyone else seemed to forget he existed. Even when he hurt her, she still desired to be his friend. Rachel put herself out there, only to be turned away every single time.
He had his chance, but he let it go.
"And we call it Bella Notte. Look at the skies; they have stars in their eyes, on this lovely Bella Notte."
Sam hummed next to him while Mike walked alongside Sam, watching the scene unfold. There was a hint of jealousy on Puck's face, possibly even regret. Although Sam hadn't been at McKinley when Rachel and Puck had dated, he was informed regularly that they were a thing for a while, and apparently the feelings hadn't completely dispersed yet. Even he thought Rachel and Puck could be good together, but he just kept his mouth shut and continued to hum.
"Side by side with your loved one, you'll find enchantment here." At the words that Puck sung, Finn gazed down at Rachel, a blush coloring his cheeks. It took all Puck had not to throw the accordion at the back of Finn's head.
Rachel returned the loving look, but she almost looked uncomfortable, pausing to look back towards the three boys trailing behind. "Don't worry about them, Rach," Finn whispered, squeezing her hand reassuringly. "They won't tell."
Puck immediately scowled, sending a glare in Sam's direction. There was a mutual understanding that they'd be talking to Quinn later about what a serious douchebag her boyfriend was, and how he was totally playing her for a fool. It wasn't working, because everyone saw right through it.
"The night will weave its magic spell, when the one you love is near." The words feel heavy in Puck's mouth as he watched the couple in front of him. They seem so in love even though he knows that's not the case. It makes him sick to his stomach, but he has to do this for Rachel. He has to prove that he can be there for her no matter what the cost. A friend, a lover. It doesn't matter.
Once again, Finn gazed down at Rachel, leaning closer to her as if to kiss her. Subtly, she moved away, shaking her head slightly while mouthing "not here." It pissed him off. If they didn't kiss in front of them, he knew he'd spend the night wondering what they were doing, feeling more and more betrayed. He had no claim over Rachel, fuck, they hadn't had anything exclusive since their little… whatever it was they had, but yet he still felt betrayed. She knew how he felt, she had to, but she was subjecting him to this type of cruel and unusual torture of watching her happy with some other guy. It made his heart hurt.
He watched the jolly clumsy giant just nod and smile wider, thinking that he was going to get something from the petite brunette. All Puck wanted to do was throw something at the back of Finn's head, but if this was what Rachel wanted, he'd do this for her and let her be happy. Her happiness was the main concern.
"Oh this is the night, and the heavens are right! On this lovely Bella Notte!" The song finished just as Finn stopped walking. The boys turned and rested against the wall, within hearing distance, but if either of the two lovebirds turned back, they'd think they were just waiting out of courtesy.
"I'm sorry, Rachel," Finn said, reaching out to cup her cheek in his hand. "I made a mistake. You hurt me… but… I forgive you. I miss you and I want you back."
Those were the words she'd wanted to hear from Finn, the ones she wanted him to say when he finally admitted that he missed her and wanted her back. Now that she was hearing those words though, they only felt wrong. Her reply sat in her throat, unsure of what to say. Finn took this as a sign to keep talking, the last thing she wanted him to do.
"I mean, I know you made a mistake and that's okay because I'm ready to forgive you. You're that tether to me, Rach. I miss your voice, and your controllist ways. I don't want to be without you. Just promise me you won't do that to me again, especially with Puck." But she couldn't promise that. She couldn't promise that it wouldn't go back to the boy with the mohawk like it always had. Every single time it went back to him, and how could she promise that this time would be any different?
She knew she had feelings for Puck when she went to him when she wanted to lose her virginity. She could have gone to anyone, anyone at all, but she chose to go to him because she trusted him. Then he told her that he wouldn't hurt Finn like that again, but she knew he was saying that he wouldn't do that to her because she deserved more. She just knew that's what Noah was saying.
Rachel couldn't deny her feelings. Finn was part of her dreams of course, since they started dating it was him that she pictured standing next to her in New York while she gave her first Tony Award acceptance speech. Dreams change, and so do people. The tall, brave man she saw two years ago wasn't the same man that stood in front of her now. In front of her stood a scared boy, a cheater, a manipulator. It was always her fault, never his.
Her dreams revolved around Broadway now, with a slightly shorter man standing in the background cheering her on, pushing her to accomplish everything he knew she could. This man had a mohawk and a smirk on his face, his eyes glinting with just a slight hint of mischief. He yelled out her nickname as she took her bow on stage. That was her dream.
Noah Puckerman was a part of her dream.
Finn leaned closer, lifting her chin to look her in the eyes. "No one has to know," he whispered, clearly implying that he was going to kiss her.
No one ever had to know. That was the problem. It was as though he was embarrassed to be seen with her, embarrassed to date her. He claimed to love her, claimed to want her back, yet no one had to know. Is that how things would always be? No one knowing that they were together while he kept up his relationship with Quinn for appearances? That certainly wasn't how Rachel deserved to be treated, and certainly wasn't how she'd allow herself to be treated, especially by Finn!
It was now or never. She could either do what was best for her, or stay in front of him and pretend to love him. Pretend to love a man that pretended to love her. She turned away from him, a sad and sympathetic look in her chocolate eyes.
"I'm sorry, Finn. I need… I need to go."
She turned on her heel, rushing down the dark alley way as tears fell silently down her cheeks. She dashed past Puck, past her friends, and away from the horrid memories of being with Finn, away from Finn himself. It hurt, to finally break that tether she knew they never had to begin with. Their relationship was built on nothing but a fantasy, a fantasy that was hurting her more and more every day. Was there a part of her that wished she had stayed as she ran down the street? Yes, there was, but she knew it was for the best.
She made a right turn at the intersection, pulling her coat tighter around her lithe frame, the spring New York chill nipping at her nose. Her kitten heels clicked against the ground, setting a rhythm that sounded a lot like the beat to music. It was music, although there were no words. The hurried sound of her footsteps seemed to be the song of her life, always one step ahead of everyone else, always hurrying to make her dreams come true. She never slowed down except for Finn. She slowed down so much that her music and song stopped playing, so much that her dreams were forgotten in the dust. Her life revolved around him, something she promised herself would never happen. It was unacceptable.
Finally she slowed, leaning against the wall, breathing in deeply. No one had followed her, and she hadn't expected them to. She gazed up at the sky, the orange glow of the neon New York lights filling the sky, replacing the stars that had been so familiar in Lima. Tears streaked and stained her cheeks as she finally let herself surrender to being upset. It seemed odd that she was upset over ending this, but she had put her entire high school career so far into a relationship that wasn't built to last.
The brick of the wall she was leaning against felt cold even through the fabric of her jacket, hard against her back. She leaned her head back against the red, rust colored brick and closed her eyes, willing everything to go away. She wished someone would come and hold her like her fathers would have, tell her that everything would be okay. Everything would be fine as long as she was surrounded by the bright lights of the city she longed to be in.
She wished Noah would come comfort her.
Puck stood still, staring after Rachel as she took off down the street. He heard her tell Finn that she had to go, which was basically her way of telling him that she couldn't do what he wanted her to. Even he, who everyone thought was dim, knew that Finn wanted his cake and he wanted to eat it too. Granted, if Berry was his piece of cake, he'd want to have her and eat her too, but when you were talking about having Quinn and having Rachel just totally wasn't right.
"Go after her," Sam whispered, motioning in the direction that the petite girl ran in.
Finn just stood in the middle of the road, watching the way that Rachel went. He looked confused, as if he didn't understand that he'd upset her and done something wrong. He never knew when he did something wrong.
Instead of saying something to Finn, he turned around and bolted in the way that the brunette went, softly calling her name as he searched around in the darkness for her. Of course he was worried about her. A girl her age and size was an easy target for all sorts of terrible things on the streets of Manhattan. He knew he'd yell at her when he found her… if he found her.
"Berry?" he called gently, turning at the same intersection she did.
Walking down the street gave him time to think. Think about how he felt, what he would say, how he would pass off his concern for her wellbeing. He always knew that he thought she was cute, and since they became friends, he felt that maybe they could be good together. He wouldn't treat her the way Finn did. He couldn't.
Back on the bleachers two years ago, he was actually upset when Rachel ended things. She was the longest relationship he had with a girl without cheating. There was something about her that just made him want to be a better man, something that made him want to be there for her. He didn't mean what he said about them not being friends before. Of course, they weren't friends, but he still wanted to be her friend. Yet, it hurt too much. It hurt too much to see her happy with some other guy.
Finn Hudson always got everything. He got the Quarterback position in football, he was co-captain of the Glee Club, he had Quinn, and then he had Rachel in the same week. It was tiring to see Finn treat everyone around him like dirt, and they always kept going back to him because his fake words of love were sweet to hear. Every girl wanted to be treated like a princess, and Finn gave that to them. He would never be as smooth as Finn in that aspect. He'd never be Finn Hudson.
It sucked, losing everything to Finn. It was like having a big brother that stole everything from you. Friends, girlfriends, sports, music. Puck felt that around Finn at school, he didn't have anything that was his anymore. That was the way Finn Hudson was. He stole things right out from under you, only to discard them and leave them lost and forgotten.
He felt something for her, he knew that. It was different from that of what he felt for Quinn, for Santana, even for Lauren. With them, he wanted a piece of ass, and in Quinn's case, wanted to be a part of his daughter's life. In Rachel's case, he wanted to make her smile, to hear her whisper that she loved him and only wanted him. He desired to be the man that supported her dreams and didn't tear her down. That's what he wanted to be for Rachel.
There was something different about Rachel. She pushed him to be a better man, pushed him to be what she knew he could be. She was one of the best friends he'd ever had, and she constantly insisted that he was good enough for her.
Over the summer they shared such nice moments, moments where he questioned what they truly were, only to go back to school and have it fall apart. He missed the way they would lay together on his bed, for the first time no longer scared about what they were. They were Puck and Rachel, Rachel and Puck. It didn't matter to them. They just enjoyed the company, enjoyed being together because being with each other just felt right. Then they would go back to school, thrust back into the social standards and life as a WMHS student. It wasn't fair, but that was the way things were. He was Noah Puckerman, Lima Loser extraordinaire. She was Rachel Berry, aspiring Broadway performer and Finn Hudson's latest playtoy.
The one day that stands out in his mind, was the day that it fell apart. Everything had been so good, only to crumble into a thousand pieces, leaving them both hurt and searching for something that they both knew existed, but was too far out of reach.
Puck lied back against the pillows, pulling the petite brunette closer to his chest in his arms. In a matter of days they would go back to school and forget this ever happened. This is how they spent their summers, wrapped in each others' arms, just letting themselves feel what they wanted to feel. It was their agreement, that they could do this and go back to school as if nothing happened.
Puck made Rachel happy, happier than she ever felt with Finn. For once, she didn't care about anything except the man she was laying against, his strong encircling her small body. She didn't care about Finn or being the power couple, if Quinn saw or if Santana wanted to steal her boyfriend. Technically she and Finn weren't dating, but it was as good as a sealed deal between them. It was as though she was a completely different person with Puck than she was with Finn. She was herself, a girl who wasn't afraid of how she looked, how she acted, who she was. Finn kept her hidden, a secret that no one knew about, like he was ashamed.
Puck never treated her like that. He'd give her piggyback rides down the street, holding her tan calves in his calloused hands, thanking Allah or someone out there that he just got to touch her even a tiny bit. They could walk hand in hand, and sometimes he'd even skip with her. He'd tell Mike and Matt that he couldn't hang because she was coming over. He'd tell Santana to get lost because Rachel took priority over getting laid.
That's how it always was with them, a mutual trust and likeness that made them great friends. She said jump, he begged to know how high. He asked for help, she'd try her best to give him advice. They were just like that, trying to be there for each other as best they could. At times, they were all that each other had, the only friend, the only lover.
She shifted in his arms, looking up at him as she bit her bottom lip, a sad and regretful look in her eyes. He knew what was coming, the conversation he had dreaded all summer. It was time they separate, a week before returning to their normal lives, the lives that didn't include each other.
"We're going back to school next week, Noah," she whispered.
"Yeah, I know." His reply was short. He couldn't let her see how hurt he was; even though he knew that this was coming. His heart was on the line, but this was what she wanted so he went along with it.
"I wish this didn't have to come to an end, Noah, truly I don't, but you and I both know that I have to go back to Finn and you have to go back to Quinn." The statement was supposed to clarify things, make them easier.
It didn't.
"You don't have to," he snapped, anger seeping into his voice.
"Don't do this, Noah." Her voice was pleading. He could almost hear the onset of tears in her voice.
"Why the fuck not, Rach? You come over here every day and act like we're fucking good together. You let me touch your boobs. You trust me. Then you tell me that you have to go back to Finn I'm-A-Douchebag Hudson? What the fuck am I supposed to do? Twiddle my fucking thumbs until next summer when you come running back like we both know you will?" His voice rose, finally surrendering to the frustration of the situation.
"You knew that this would happen at the beginning of the summer! You knew and you were perfectly fine with our arrangement! If you weren't, you should have told me and this could have been stopped long before now! However, you never once mentioned not being okay with this. Therefore, don't you dare make me feel guilty! You knew this would happen. You knew this would have to end."
A tear slipped down her cheek and she struggled to free herself from his arms, sitting up so she could look at him. Of course he knew that this would happen, but it didn't make things any easier. Not when they both had feelings, real, genuine feelings.
"Why do you have to end this? Fucking why? You don't have to go back to Finn. We're good together, Berry. We're really fucking good together." There was a hint of pleading in his tone, curiosity.
"He told me he loved me! I can't pretend that I don't feel something for Finn when I do. I feel something for both of you, and I'm tired of my emotions playing a mental game of tug-of-war!"
The words he so badly wanted to say sat on the tip of his tongue, threatening to fall past his chapped lips. He wanted to tell her that he loved her. Would that make a difference? He truly did love her, but he couldn't bear to keep going with this when she told him to stop. He just wanted her to stop crying.
"Am I not good enough?" he asked softly, looking out the window instead of directly at her.
Rachel's eyebrows rose of their own accord, a shocked look appearing on her face. He just asked the one question she hoped he would never ask, because it brought up her biggest fear for him, that he would think he was no good like his father. He was anything but his father. He was more than good enough for her, too good at times.
"Noah, don't you ever think that. You were always good enough, more than enough, too good for me. Sometimes I ask myself if I'm good enough for you. You're sweet, kind, caring, compassionate, a leader. I see a different side of you every time you walk through my front door. You aren't who you appear to be at school, you're a different person to me. Don't ever think you aren't good enough because that's certainly not the case."
"Then why can't you just be with me and forget Hudson?"
"Noah, do you remember what you said about standing up and being a man with Quinn all those months ago? Being a responsible person?"
"I don't think I could fucking forget that time in my life if I tried," he chuckled, trying to throw a bit of humor into a serious conversation.
"I have to be the responsible person for Finn. Although many would argue that he doesn't deserve me, I agreed that Finn and I would resume a relationship in the fall. I can't simply walk out on it because I'm confused about what I feel. This isn't the end of us, I can sense that, but right now, I have to pick the safe choice for me and protect myself. You'll never be the safe choice for me, Noah, and right now I need to rebuild what's been broken by other men," she explained, taking his hand, hoping that he understood.
He did understand, more than he was willing to admit. He knew that she had felt like she had to pick the guy who seemed safer, the guy who didn't have a track-record of using girls and tossing them away. Still, knowing this didn't make it any easier to hear, knowing that she didn't trust him enough with her heart, especially when she unknowingly had his, and had had his for months now.
"So this is it?"
"Yes."
He doesn't expect to see her leaning against the brick wall as he turns the corner onto another back alley. Her face is dimly lit by the streetlights, shadows playing on her cheeks. He takes a moment to admire how truly beautiful she is, how breathtaking she appears to be. The tears on her cheeks catch the light, proving what he feared. She ran off and cried, shed tears over a guy who was nothing but a douchebag.
"Rach," he called, jogging over to her small frame, immediately taking her in his arms.
The second he pulled her close, she let the tears fall, quietly sobbing into his chest. He rubbed circles on her back, trying to soothe her. Her hands gripped his leather jacket, her knuckles going white due to the strength she was using to hold on. It was like if she let go he would disappear, and she didn't want that at all.
"I'm so sorry, Noah, so, so, sorry." She was apologizing for everything, for hurting him, for walking away, for ignoring him, for not realizing what they had sooner. It was her fault they weren't together, but all she could do now was apologize, promise that there would be a bright future for them. Together.
"Shh… calm down, Baby. I know you're sorry. Stop crying so we can talk, Rach."
And like that, her tears stopped. Just knowing that he could still call her "baby" after all she put him through, just knowing that he didn't hate her made the tears cease. They could still have a chance. Rachel lifted her head to look at him, bringing her hand to her face to wipe the tears from her eyes. Her eyes asked silent questions, wanting to know if this could be repaired.
"I'm sorry, Noah. All I've put you through, all of these games I've played because I wanted you, yet couldn't have you. I lead you on to believe that maybe something would be possible between us because that's what I desired, but the second Finn returned into the picture, my heart betrayed me and I went back to him. I pined after him until I was no longer myself and instead an image of whom he wanted me to be. I stopped talking to you because he told me to, used you to cheat on him and make him jealous. I just used you and I can never fully express how sorry I am, how I hope you can forgive me because I'm realizing things I wish I realized before. I'm so sorry, Noah," she murmured, her voice hoarse.
Just hearing her apologize made his heart do something funny, a girlish flutter. The way those words made him feel almost made him look down his shirt to make sure he hadn't sprouted boobs and then unbuckle his belt and make sure he didn't grow a vagina.
"Don't apologize, Rach. We both fucked up. I should have fought harder for you, but I liked having whatever I could get. You were confused, I get that. I don't think of you any less. You're still the girl I wish I could be with, don't ever doubt that. Yeah, it sucked major balls to see you with Finn, but looks like you're finally realizing that Finn's a douche." Puck smiled when he heard Rachel's laughter, a sound he hadn't heard in a long time. "I never had anything to forgive."
Without warning, she flung her arms around his neck, pressing her lips to his in a heated, passionate kiss. So many emotions seeped through as tongues danced and clashed: regret, hurt, remorse, guilt, happiness, love. It was the moment they both waited for for so long, when they finally got what they thought was lost.
They broke apart moments later, gazing into each others' eyes, unspoken words pulsing in the air.
"You always had me, Noah. Always, even when I didn't know it."
"Just like you always fucking had me, and damn I was stupid for not realizing it sooner."
Puck pulled her back into his arms, running his fingers through her hair. He finally let her know how he felt with words; let her know that he wanted her. Yeah, he was pretty convinced that he loved her even if he couldn't actually say it yet. She was the girl that made him want to be better, that made him strive to be better. He finally had the girl he always wanted, the girl he always had but didn't know it.
"You're my girl now, okay?" he asked, pulling away to look down at her.
"Forever and always.
That moment, Finn turned away with an ache in his chest. He followed Puck hoping he could make things right with Rachel, hoped he could get the love of his life back, only to find them wrapped in each others' arms, whispering gentle words of commitment in love. He wanted it so badly to be him comforting the petite brunette, wiping her tears from her face as he told her how much he loved her.
It always went back to Puck.
With a final glance in their direction, he walked away, his head hung low as the rose he was holding fell onto the damp New York street.
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