A/N: original prompt from queerstalgems on tumblr: in canonverse, the exact moment pearl realizes she's ass deep in love w amethyst). the awesome cover art is also by queerstalgems, used with permission.


Pearl has read about the human six stages of grief. Each dot connecting to a line that ends with acceptance written in looped script.

She hates them.


Her first thought: no. Absolutely not, cannot do, no can do! It was impossible, because she's baked three pies over the stress of what to tell her when she comes back. Amethyst, I care for you very deeply, you have to know that– Amethyst you're like a (insert human relationship type here?) (no, no) to me– Amethyst, I love you, but I'm still in love–

Pie number four is going to be chocolate. Steven loves chocolate.


There was a part of her that despised the fact that humans supplied her with the words to describe how she felt about Rose. Ic lufie þe. Is breá liom tú. Je t'aime. Te quiero. I love you. I'm in love with you.

Rose loved humans and loved their words and loved Pearl, but loved Greg–

She chose him, even if it's not that simple. She knows Rose's reasons and watches her saying them when she needs to remember certain touches and certain kisses to brows that weren't nothing, weren't for nothing, and yet–

She can't want this. She's not allowed. There will be a day when Amethyst understands, understands that she–this is a bad decision.

But there are many ways she could betray Rose's memory, and she knows loving– being in love with Amethyst isn't one of them.

That doesn't stop her from baking a fifth pie.


It's been three days, and Amethyst hasn't come back.

Pearl is too worried to even think about words like love and grief and can't.


Four days and five pies later, there she is.

Pearl can feel the words wanting to escape, anger for the worry, and something else, something too tender and too soon, so she puts both hands over her mouth to stop them.

Amethyst scratches the back of her neck and gives a cautious, "Hey, P."

Pearl steps forward and wants to say something, anything, but then she's reaching forward and Amethyst is reaching forward and they're hugging, her head tucked under Pearl's, and she's remembering, with a clarity her gem projection can never give her, the vibrancy of love without mourning, and maybe, maybe, maybe. Maybe.