Jack was staring down into the bowels of the ship, mostly just killing time. She'd finished cleaning up from her trip to Horizon about a hour ago and now was just waiting for most of the cheer squad to give Shepard a breath before stomping up to him and slugging him in the arm for a job well done. She still generally didn't give a shit about letting people know they'd done well. For her, she assumed they knew if she didn't blow their head off at the end of the day, well... that's about as good as things got with her.
Still, she'd noticed that Shepard had started to come down after a mission nearly every time they went out. He said he was just relaxing and avoiding the bunch, Tali, Miranda, Kelly, even that new Goto girl, all of whom would try to "ooh" and "ah" over every moment of a retelling as Shepard tried to get by with the barest level of commitment or detail. Finally after a week of him hoping down after missions, always rushing down to Jack's hole to breath undisturbed she finally decided she should give this who "humanity" thing a chance, seeing as Shepard seemed to sweat the stuff and he was about the only one bad ass enough to not be called a pussy for it. So as he came down the stairs in to her hidey-hole, Jack grabbed a nearby pad and pitched it at his head.
As Shepard was mostly observing the near invisible stairs as he descended into the beast's belly, he didn't notice the pad until it had rebounded off his left ear and made him miss a step, mostly sliding down the last 3 steps in a heap.
"What the fuck, Jack!" Seeing him fall, she surprisingly had a moment of discord at seeing him get hurt, which she quickly shoved in a corner to bitch and moan so she could begin laughing her ass off at the famed spectre with all the pride and nobility of a high school-er having dropped his books in the middle of the hall.
Seeing the convict huddled in a ball on her bed cackling at his pain, it kinda reminded him of his sister as she'd drag their mother back to his room hoping to get him caught with a girl, or her spreading across the net movies of his head above a shower curtain as he belted out poor renditions of pop songs while he was "supposedly" alone. Sneaky bitch. Still, the sight of her curled over her knees staring at him as tears of amusement began to leak was pretty disconcerting. John had grown to appreciate Jack's beauty in what he personally felt was the only way possible, silently and without comment. Seeing her teeth in a manner other than a snarl or telling him to fuck off was always a treat, and he wasn't stupid enough to point it out for the galaxy, no,no, he rather liked his head staying attached.
"Jack, please tell me you consider April Fool's Day beneath you." Shepard said, lifting his eyebrows at the end. Jack paused for a moment, before cocking her head with a smirk,"There's fools everywhere we go, dumbass, why wait for one day." "Because it's the only day I let the crew get away with murder.' replied Shepard before pausing himself,"figuratively speaking." he corrected.
Seeing him actually start to want to talk was almost a transformative shift as Shepard's eyes finally widened from the perpetual facade of boredom Jack had seen him wear in literally every vid that'd spread like wildfire across the nets since his death. Telling off the Council; check, bored and irritated; calmly walking up and stabbing some random mechanic in the back, like he was filling out tax claim forms. While Jack still had questions concerning that whole Lazarus story, and she'd never trust the Cerberus whore to speak the truth without..encouragement, she figured him for a open book and was surprised at the change.
Jack seemed to take his attempt at socializing almost as a game, first looking him over as though a holo-interface was floating behind his head flashing "TEMPTING!" For a second, Shepard was pulled back to his first encounter with Aria, she'd had similar looks, but had quickly lost interest when both Tali and Miranda pitched a tantrum and almost got them thrown off the station. While slightly amused with Tali, he couldn't exactly just punish the new comer with aspirations of ingratiating herself in Shepard's inner circle without reprimanding his almost-kid sister. So, after 3 hours of cleaning the inner cooling rods for the drive core for Miranda, and 2 days without net access for Tali, the lesson was taught thoroughly.
Still, from Jack, it wasn't completely. totally creepy like the sisterhood hunting Shepard's pants. "Well, let's hear your great story, I'm totally psyched to hear about you mooning some merc before popping him.' The way she pitched her voice when she said psyched forced a snort from her audience, bringing her smile back for a moment before quickly tucking itself into a little lift of the right side of her mouth.
"Well, there was the party wherein Joker ended up puking on Wrex, Wrex in a haze declared his undying love for all asari before collapsing on Jeff and breaking his right arm...huh, same place I did, anyways, and of course, where Tali mooned the council." Jack looked at him during his litany of absurd, her eyes seeming to pop out at the last. "What the hell, seriously, your fucking with me, seriously?!" Shepard paused for effect, "Serious."
Jack paused for a second, jilted for a moment. Some people, she'd believe nothing but that they'd eventually screw her over, and thus was fully justified in a preemptive screwing. Shepard on the other hand, had lied directly to the Council and C-Sec and every other institution since she'd come aboard, creating a new identity for her as a rescued covert operative and giving her a out to anywhere in the galaxy, all in addition to handing her full access to the ship's databases as soon as she'd walked in. So he deserved a little faith, but..
"Apparently some devious fiend, surely driven manic after weeks confined with soldiers and professional killers in a tiny boat at the mercy of plots and conspiracies of galactic concern, decided to spike the punch. After careful research, they'd likely realized that the only safe addition to he pot would be Batarian Fire Piss." Shepard waited while Jack seemed to stare at his forehead. "Yeah, and.." Jack hinted.
"Oh, yeah, you might not know, sorry. About nine years ago there was a incident on a mining colony where the liquid reclamation tanks leaked most of the colony's supplies before it was sealed. The whole place was communal resourced, so when everyone was given their share, the non-humans and humans alike shared in the few bottles of spirits while waiting for resupply. While some had unintended and admittedly horrific consequences in the case of the Asari and tequila, it was discovered the all species could safely tolerate the drink, even Turians and Quarians as the active components that might trigger a response was killed off in the initial casking process. If it also didn't lead to horrible cramps and," Shepard quirked his nose,"other less pleasant aftereffects in the non-Batarian drinkers, it'd probably be served on the Citadel instead being outlawed in three-quarters of the citadel governments. "
Jack just stared at him, again. Taking a moment to relax slightly against the bulkhead, he stared to let his eyes wander over her cubbyhole. 'Hey, quit spacing!" Snapping his eyes back, he was slightly shocked by her enraged look. "That how you treat your friends, people who bled for you." Snapping up, she started to walk up to him, stopping as he quickly put his hand up."Hey, hang on now, I'll admit, not funny from that side, but you didn't see what they did to me."
AN: And away we go.. Got any good ideas for how they tossed Shepard? Oh, and it's just Shepard for now. It might be explained later if I get deep into character dev.
