Disclaimer: Don't own anything or anyone.
Rating for language and content in future chapters. Spoilers through season 11.
Thanks for reading, hope you enjoy!
It wasn't one of those days were something ends up going wrong and you think back that it started off just like any other day. This wasn't the case for Nick Stokes. The day had started with him waking up hours before his alarm was set to go off to get him up for work with a sharp, stinging headache that didn't make any sense for him to have. It was so bad that he was unable to fall back asleep and by the time he dragged himself in to work, he was even more exhausted then he had been when he had left earlier that morning. After taking a hand full of aspirin, the pain finally started to subside a little but was instead replaced with a dull ache in his chest. His heart was beating at an irregular pace and he was actually starting to get worried that he was really sick when Catherine bounded into the break room with assignments, followed by Greg and Sara.
"Nicky," she said cheerfully, handing him a slip. "419 out in Henderson. Brass is on his way out there, he suggested to me that you not make him wait longer than you have to. I think he's cranky."
Nick smiled slightly as he took the slip from Catherine. He was already feeling better; must have just been over tired and thinking about it too much he thought to himself. "I'll get right out there. Am I on my own?"
Catherine nodded. "Busy night. Greg, you have a dead stripper found in a back alley and Sara you're with me on a double murder at Caesar's Palace. Off we go."
Nick couldn't remember exactly what had happened in between when he left the lab and to the point he was at right now, sitting in his car, waiting for Greg to answer his cell phone. All he knew for sure was that the weird feeling he had had before was now back and in full swing and he felt like he was going to pass out at any minute. He took several deep breaths to try and calm himself down.
"Sanders."
"Greg," Nick said quickly. "Did you go to your scene yet?"
"No," Greg replied. "I'm just about to leave. I had to wrap up my last case with the ADA. I'm heading over now. Why? What's up?"
Nick sighed heavily. "I need you to do me a favor, but you can't ask why and you can't say anything to anyone. I just need you to do it, okay?"
"Do you need me to help you bury a body?" Greg asked jokingly. "Because I'll only do it if it's Hodges."
Nick ignored him. "I need you to switch cases with me. I can't tell you why, please don't ask. Just come to my scene and I'll go to yours and we'll just switch, okay?"
With barely any hesitation, Greg responded "Yeah, no problem. You're okay and everything though, right?"
"Yeah, I'm fine," he lied. They exchanged the addresses of the scenes and then Nick took off for the alley back on the strip, much to Brass' utter amazement.
Not long after he had seen Nick drive off, Brass saw Greg pull up and hop out of his car, kit in hand. The younger CSI strode up to the police captain with a slightly worried expression on his face, but he made it melt away with a smile when he greeted Brass.
"Hey," he said casually. "What do we have here?"
Brass cocked an eyebrow. "Where's Nick?"
"There was a mix up," Greg offered. "Needed him back at the lab. Don't worry, I'm capable of handling this."
As Brass was greeting Greg, Nick arrived at the alley back on the strip. He still had his gloves on from the other scene and didn't realize it until he was about to get out of his car. He ripped them off and threw them on the floor of the passenger's side. He grabbed his spare kit of the the trunk, seeing as he left his other back in Henderson, and headed over to where Vartann was standing by the police tape.
"I was expecting Sanders," Vartann said with a quizzical look. Nick silently shook his head. His brain was going a million miles a minute and couldn't formulate a coherent response. "Well, nothing really mysterious here. Dead girl was found by some tourists. Found a bloody knife next to the body, and a separate blood pool to suggest the killer was injured. Called all the hospitals, one stab victim came in to Desert Palm around the confirmed TOD of nine tonight. Case almost solved itself."
"You pretty much did everything for me," Nick said, needing to offer a response to Vartann's helpfulness. "Thanks, it's a huge help. You have no idea."
Nick didn't remember processing the scene, bagging any evidence or driving back to the lab. He didn't remember anything from the conversation with Vartann up until now, sitting in his office with his head in his hands. He felt like he was going to pass out at any minute, and wished he had when Greg popped his head through the door.
"Hey man," he said softly. "I know you told me not to ask, but are you sure you're alright?"
Before Nick had a chance to respond, they both heard Catherine bark from behind Greg in the hallway, "Nick, Greg, in my office. Now."
The two men walked down the hall to their supervisor's office like kids going to the principals in middle school. They were both a little confused, but most of all worried. Nick felt very dizzy, so he sat down across from Catherine and Greg followed his lead. They sat there silently, waiting for Catherine to begin.
"Since when do we trade cases?" she asked suddenly.
Nick frowned. "Since when do you get so pissed off over nothing?"
She knew he was right; she was a little too mad over a small thing. She had had a long week, was frustrated for a lot of reasons, and finding out about this little switch sent her over the edge for whatever reason.
"When I'm not informed of it and when it just happens for the hell of it." Nick looked over at Greg, to which Catherine continued. "Don't worry, he didn't rat you out, even though he should have. Brass and David both asked me what was wrong with you, not to mention I saw Greg trying to sneak in your kit that you left at your scene. So what is it Nicky? Did you want the easier case? Didn't feel like working hard tonight?"
Nick shook his head. "No," he said softly. "It was the uh...the victim."
Catherine was a little taken back by that. She knew that if Nick had known the victim, he would have just called her and removed himself correctly. But he didn't. He went behind her back and just switched, so it was more complicated and she wanted to know exactly why he had done what he had. He should have gone to her first, but he didn't. Just like he hadn't with Ray in LA, which she was still holding against him.
"So what, did you get in a fight with him in a bar? Or did you have a one night stand with his girlfriend?" she asked.
Nick knew just how pissed she was by her harsh tone and accusations, and that told him it had a lot more to do with than just him switching cases with Greg. "Neither," he said. "Well, not really either. It's more complicated than that."
"So you slept with his girlfriend multiple times then?" she added, emphasizing how tired and annoyed she was at the moment.
"Please Catherine," Nick said calmly. "Let it go. I'm sorry, I should have called you but I didn't want to get in to why and I didn't want to have to lie. I made Greg switch with me, he was just doing me a favor. It's not his fault. But please, just yell at me or whatever, but let it go."
Catherine shook her head. "I can't. I keep letting things go with you, and you keep doing stupid things. Tell me what this is about Nick."
Nick's eyes had been glued to the floor for the last few minutes, but now he looked up and made eye contact with Catherine. "I don't want to ta-"
"I know you don't want to talk about it, but you're going to. You're not leaving here until you tell me what the hell is going on."
Nick ran his hands back and forth through his dark hair and sighed heavily. "Jeff Baker, the victim, I know him. Kind of. I've never met him before or anything, but I know him. So I can't work the case."
Catherine rolled her eyes at his broad excuse. "How do you know him?"
"We have a...uh, a mutual friend."
"You slept with his girlfriend," Catherine assumed again. "Or wife maybe?"
Nick shook his head. "She wasn't his girlfriend when I slept with her. She was my girlfriend."
Catherine was a little shocked by this. "So he's your ex-girlfriend's new boyfriend? You couldn't have just told me that? It's gotta be more complicated than that. Spill. Everything. Now."
Nick knew he wasn't going to get away without telling her the whole story, so being left with no choice, he began. "Her name is Sam Williams. We met in college, the very first weekend I think. I fell in love with her right away. We dated all through college and moved into an apartment together after school in Dallas, where she's from." He stopped abruptly.
"And what happened?" Catherine asked.
Nick sighed again. "Everything was great. We had been living together for four years, and she got pregnant when we were twenty-six. We were both so happy about it. We weren't married, but were planning on doing so eventually, especially after she got pregnant. We didn't tell our families though because we knew they'd be pissed because we weren't married. But, uh, we never ended up having to tell them." Nick dropped his eyes to the floor and his voice level fell. "Sam had a miscarriage a few weeks later."
"Nicky," Catherine said softly, tears showing in her eyes. "I'm so sorry," she whispered, immediately regretting the way she had just treated him.
"We went to the doctor to try and figure out what happened. They ran all kinds of tests and sent us the results in the mail. Sam was still recovering so she was asleep when I got the letter. It said that she had hormonal problems or something, and that's what caused it and gave us a bunch of papers on what we could do about it. She already blamed herself enough for what happened, and it wasn't her fault. She didn't do it on purpose, obviously, so I lied to her. I told her the tests came back and said it happened because I smoked. I don't remember exactly what I said, but she believed me. I knew she wouldn't blame me, and I didn't want her blaming herself, so I lied."
"She found out, didn't she," Greg said, speaking for the first time since they had gotten in to the room.
Nick nodded. "She found the letter and all the papers about it. She was more upset that I had lied to her than the results. She thought I lied because I blamed her, but I didn't. I don't. Anyway, everything went downhill from there. We couldn't stop fighting and she couldn't be around me anymore because it just reminded her that I had lied about what had happened. She left one night to go stay at a friend's, and I left too. But I came here and didn't go back. I haven't seen or spoken to her since."
Catherine's jaw dropped. "You just left?" Nick nodded silently. "And you haven't talked to her in, what, ten years?"
"Fourteen," Nick corrected her. "Sam still talks to my sister Jess all the time, they were really close. That's how I knew who Jeff Baker was. They met a few years ago and moved to Riverside, but I guess they live in Vegas now. I don't know. All I know is I can't work the case because I'd eventually have to talk to her and I can't. I'm sorry Catherine."
He stood to leave, but Catherine stopped him. "I'm sorry for what I said Nicky," she said quietly. "I'm just frustrated and...I shouldn't have taken it out on you. But you could have told me this, you can tell me anything. I know you didn't want to talk about it, but sometimes it helps."
Nick smiled weakly. "Yeah, I know." He turned and left Catherine's office, leaving her and Greg sitting there in stunned silence. Halfway back to his office, he got the feeling he was being followed, but didn't turn around. His suspicions were confirmed when he got into his office and sat down at his desk when Greg took one step through the door, then stopped.
"We can kick the case to days if you want," the younger CSI said gently. "If you don't want me to end up talking to her or anything."
Nick turned and look at Greg. "I asked you to switch with me because I knew eventually, I would have had to go talk to her and I can't do that. She'd probably kill me. But if someone has to go talk to her, I want it to be you. Catherine and Sara would be too subjective and try to get her to talk to me or something, try to fix what happened. It can't be fixed, and I know you won't mess with it. If anyone has to talk to her, I want it to be you."
Greg nodded slightly. "Okay, I'll get back to work then." He left without another word, knowing Nick had said everything he had wanted to say and didn't want to talk about it anymore than he had already been forced to. He knew Nick wanted to be by himself, so he left him alone in his office, closing the door behind him.
As soon as the door clicked shut, Nick felt his chest tighten. Explaining what had happened to Catherine was emotionally tolling; he had never told anyone in Vegas about Sam. Not even Warrick knew. It was a part of his life that he had completely messed up and had left in his past, back in Texas. He tried to tell himself that it had nothing to do with what and who he was now, but he knew that wasn't true. It had been fourteen years since he had seen Sam, and now she was closer to him than she had been since that night she had left. But he couldn't see her; it wasn't fair to either one of them.
Still, somehow, Nick knew that as complicated as things had been in Texas, they were only going to get worse.
Next chapter will be up soon, thanks for reading the beginning. =)
The part with the miscarriage is based on something that happened to my aunt with the letter and reasons for why it happened and is the only information I used for this part. Sorry if it's inaccurate or whatnot, no research, just based on personal experience.
