A/N: Yea.. I know it's late, but I DID write this at the time of St. Patrick's Day, but since I had to way two days for to actually let me post stories, I had doubts whether or not I should post this... but I did!... 2 months later...

:))


Yep! It's that time of year again ladies and gents. Irish or not, it's Saint Patrick's Day, and we show no mercy to those who aren't wearing green. Get your claws, real nails, fake nails, whatever-the-fuck-your-using-to-pinch-people-with out, because it's time to get pinch-y….?

There goes that Hermione Granger again, heading over to the most cliché place that she can go to. The library.

She picks out this huge book, that I bet she's read a bazillion times already, and—Whoa! Is it just me, or do I spot a bit of ferret in the library, as well? Boy, are things about to get int-er-est-ing…

"What do you want Malfoy?"

"My, oh my, aren't we crabby today? Got a case of PMS or something, Granger?"

"Actually, I was due three weeks ago so, no I don't have a case of PMS, what about you, Malfoy? I saw you get snappy with Parkinson last evening. I hear a nice, hot bath reduces the cramps before the cycle."

DANG! Did anyone else see that oh-so-pureblood smirk that little Miss I-am-proud-to-be-muggleborn just throw?

Painfully ignoring the wasp stinging comeback, our favorite ferret said, "Hmmm, I don't see any green attached to your body, I guess you'll have to settle for a pinch, Granger."

"Not so fast, you see, I am wearing some thing green."

"Is that so?"

"Yes, 'is that so', my bra is green."

"… Your what?"

"You heard me ferret, my bra is green. Not just any green, but that same green as your tie, actually."

"Prove it."

"Fine."

"Holy shit, that's sexy."

"…Thanks?"

"Shut up and—"

I, the annoying narrator, think it's a good place to stop before this horrid piece of fanfiction turns into one of those citrus fruits.

Anyways, this story ends in Draco Malfoy and Hermione Granger marrying each other, producing some twins called Constellation 1 and Constellation 2, Constellation 1 marries a Weasley, Constellation 2 marries a Potter, and they live happily ever after.

Just kidding.

Let's just say that Hermione didn't get pinched that St. Patrick's Day…