time will ask, time will fly,
time will give you wings like a butterfly...
January 2nd, 2015
The snow always reminded Yosuke of Inaba. It wasn't like he was light years away, no, but something about looking out the window of his seventh story apartment, something about the clean, white sheet on the ground made him wistful. It's not like you couldn't just jump on your car and go, he thought to himself, chuckling a little. You do it every friggin' morning. Okay. So, maybe his wistfulness wasn't so much for the place. He saw enough of it to make that unnecessary. It was more for a time. A simpler time. Back in high school, when things weren't decided. Back before the murders.
He shook his head to push that thought away. More than two years had passed without incident. Sometimes he wondered if it Souji admitting that he had an accomplice was just his way of trying to make them all doubt themselves even more. Every now and then, though, he found himself thinking back to that time. There were so many things that he still wanted to know. So many answers he still wanted. Souji was in jail now; if he really wanted those answers, he could visit and get them easily.
Stop, he thought. Stop thinking about that. You were thinking about Inaba. Go back to that.
Okina was so different from Inaba. Everything there felt more drastic, more serious. More final, maybe. Can you imagine living in a big city? he asked himself. If you think Okina's different... Or maybe it was just Yosuke himself who was different. He'd lived in the city not too long ago, but back then he'd been a teenager. Everything had seemed more exciting. Now, though... now it was just a city. Just buildings and asphalt and people. Maybe it was because it was so close to Inaba. Maybe it was because he still went to Inaba every day for work. It was still nice, though, living outside of the sleepy town. Getting to leave the no-action place every day after work instead of just taking his bike back to his parents house was kind of rewarding. A symbol of his adulthood, maybe.
Two years had passed. So much had changed and so much was the same. Life, in general, felt the same. No, he didn't go to school in the morning, but now he was working full-time hours at Junes, as his dad's assistant manager. It probably would have felt like a lot more responsibility, if he didn't already do most of it before he was out of high school. The only thing that was different now was the fact that he actually wrote the schedule that people complained about.
And that was what he was doing. Or... what he should have been doing. He sat at the kitchen table, pencil in hand and eyes half on the window. Just because he had the holiday off didn't mean that he actually had the whole time to himself. Tearing his eyes away from the window and looking back at the schedule in front of him, he scribbled another couple of names in. Asuka-chan said she wanted Thursday off, so I'll trade her with Taka-kun, and then put Nozomi-kun on Saturday and Sunday.
Finally, his focus was on the task at hand, when he heard the sound of a thump on the door. Almost immediately, his attention was snapped. Not that he had a whole ton of focus to begin with. "It's open!" he called.
"Need you to come open the door for me!" an all-too-familiar voice called from the other side of the door.
Living with Jude had a lot of advantages. There was the obvious advantage of splitting the rent, but there were other advantages, too. Jude cooked and did most of the cleaning, and they carpooled to Inaba together when their schedules coincided—Jude's parents had bent more than a few rules to get him a job at Inaba Municipal as a nurse's assistant—but the biggest benefit was not living alone. Yosuke didn't really like being alone, and the only time he really was alone were the days that he had off and Jude had to work. Today was one of those days, so he was beyond glad that his roommate was home.
Yosuke had a smile on his face as he pushed his chair back and stood up. "What am I, your slave?" he asked, his tone completely jovial as he made his way to the front door of the apartment.
He heard Jude laugh from the other side of the door and his smile quirked up a little higher in response. When he pulled the door open, he saw a Junes bag in his friend's hand and tilted his head. But he didn't get too far. Yosuke stepped around him and peered into the bag.
Jude laughed again. "What are you, twelve?" he asked.
"Feast!" Yosuke said excitedly with his nose in the bag. Damn. He bought all the makings for sushi, sashimi, omlete with fried rice, ramen, tempura and curry rice... The pile of food had a very obvious reason. Yosuke knew full well what that reason was. "So, what army are you feeding?" Just because he knew the answer didn't mean he couldn't have a little fun and ask the question.
With a laugh, Jude walked to the kitchen and set the paper bag on the table. "You are an army, Yosuke." After a short pause, he shrugged. "But I'm just preparing for tomorrow."
Yosuke jutted his lip out in an exaggerated pout. "Y-you mean... all of this is for tomorrow?" he asked, pretending to be offended and disappointed.
Jude crossed his arms at his chest. "Yes. All of it." He pulled the fridge open, starting to put things away.
Standing by the bag, Yosuke frowned as he pulled a couple of things out to put away. "Really? All of it?" he asked, staring at the curry powder in Jude's hand.
With a sigh, Jude rolled his eyes and gave a playful grin. "Except the curry, Yosuke. That's for dinner tonight." He let the wry little grin take over his face.
Honestly, Yosuke knew that. But it was still fun to play around every once in awhile. That was one of the things that he liked the most about Jude. For a short time, he would pretend to be serious about keeping secrets, but then he would break down and tell Yosuke everything. "You're the best." A beaming smile spread across his face. "But really," Yosuke said, "why'd you bring everything home early? I thought we were going shopping tomorrow morning, before everyone gets here." Not that he minded. If he didn't have to go to Junes or any other grocery store over his few days off, he would die a happy man whenever his life eventually ended.
Jude shrugged. "Rise called me earlier," he explained. "She and Teddie are getting in from Osaka tonight. They just finished filming their new season and they were going to wait until tomorrow when everyone else, but apparently Rise really can't wait to be with everyone again." He smiled. "So, they're going to stay here until the fourth, and then go back to Inaba with everyone else, to stay at Rise's grandmother's place until their press tour in March."
And that was Yosuke's favorite thing about their group of friends. No matter what happened, they always made time for each other. Since high school, they'd all gone their separate ways. Chie was training in the police academy, with the eventual goal to work under Dojima-san on the force. Yukiko was still working to take over the Amagi Inn, and she spent most of her off time at Chie's apartment a few blocks away. Although it surprised absolutely no one, the two of them "officially" revealed their relationship to the group almost a year ago. Naoto did a lot of detective work that took her all over the place; she'd garnered more respect after Souji got sent to jail. He always kind of figured that it was a bitter feeling to her, but she never really said anything about it. Unlike most of the others, she and Kanji had grown apart after high school. Kanji was still in Inaba, fresh out of high school and working with his mother in their shop. He didn't really talk a lot about the new friends he'd made, but all of the others were concerned about him regressing back to the way he'd been before they met him.
And then there were Rise and Teddie. Rise went back to work as an idol. She did the whole singing-and-dancing thing on the side, sure, but with Teddie's support, she went to try out for a new sitcom that an upstart writer put together. At the tryouts, the casting directors had loved Teddie so much that they cast him instantly, to play alongside Rise as her on-screen love interest. Honestly, it seemed like it was good for her, having Teddie close to her like he was. Having the link to home kept her grounded, and having Rise with him kept Teddie excited.
"Guess it's a good thing I washed the guest sheets, then, huh?" They'd prepared for this for weeks now. Last year, their meet-up had been at the Amagi Inn. This year, since the inn was bustling, their options were really limited to Jude and Yosuke's apartment and Chie's apartment. Since Chie's place was too small, it defaulted to them.
Jude chuckled. "I'm glad you remembered. I was going to call and remind you, but..." he trailed off.
Yosuke knew what that meant, too. He'd been on a date. Honestly, Yosuke knew that he went on dates. It had been two years since they revealed their feelings for one another, and Yosuke often cursed himself for adding that 'don't hold yourself in stasis' thing. Because of that, they'd never been single at the same time. Jude had dated a couple of guys, Yosuke had dated a couple of guys and a couple of girls... and things never really matched up. Okay, that wasn't entirely true. They did sometimes. But on the rare occasions that they did match up... well, Yosuke was just as much of a coward as he had been in high school. Sometimes, he could swear that he picked up hints of those same feelings when Jude looked at him. He knew, of course, that he still had the same feelings. But... but two years later and a little bomb drop from Souji still has you doubting everything. You really are pathetic.
And he didn't want to admit it, but there was a part of him that felt like Jude was the reason a lot of his relationships didn't work out. What was it his shadow had called it? A fixation? Two years had passed and it was still pretty damn strong. It didn't matter who he tried to date—and he had tried, really—he'd rather spend his time with Jude. He felt more comfortable, more at home with him. He wondered if Jude realized how much he was ruining other men or women for him.
Mentally shaking himself out of his thoughts, he looked at Jude. "Eiko, right?" he asked. It was his fault things were so awkward when they talked about this. He couldn't let Jude feel it, too. "He stopped in to see you after work? I was wondering why you were a little late." He pushed his hair back from his eyes. It was a little long. Maybe he'd have to cut it.
"Mmm," Jude hummed and looked down. "And then we spent about fifteen minutes arguing about how I had to cancel on him tonight because Rise and Teddie were showing up. I decided, if he can't understand that, well. You know."
It was hard to stop the little grin that Yosuke felt spreading across his face, and he found himself incredibly grateful that his back was turned. Okay. It was probably wrong to be excited about things not working out for Jude, but the little feeling of victory—or maybe relief?—that he felt bubbling up in his chest was hard to ignore. A little protective part of him was certain that none of the people Jude dated were good enough for him, anyway. "That's a shame." He sounded convincing, right?
Jude closed the refrigerator and took out a few pots and pans, getting ready to make dinner. "I guess. I mean, it's disappointing, but if he can't understand that I was excited to see my friends who only come into town once a year?" He paused and laughed. "You know, I still don't think he believes that I know Rise. One of those 'just because you lived in Inaba doesn't mean you knew her' things, I think. Forget that he knows that my parents' clinic is right down the street from her grandmother's tofu shop." He sounded more than a little bit annoyed.
With a chuckle, Yosuke shrugged. "And forget that she mentioned all of us in that one interview." He reached into the refrigerator and pulled out two bottles of soda, cracking one open and setting it in front of Jude. He sat on a stool, his back facing the counter and his eyes on Jude. "So, do you know when Rise and Ted will be here?"
Shrugging, Jude stepped over to the rice cooker and started it. "Rise called me when they left this morning, and it'll take them about nine hours to get here from Osaka. But I'm willing to bet that Rise got distracted shopping and Teddie just indulged her." He chuckled softly, starting the stove to mix the curry sauce together.
"Those two are a dangerous pair," Yosuke said, sipping from his soda bottle and then resting his elbows on the table behind him.
Jude smirked. "No more dangerous than Chie and Yukiko when they put their minds to it." He paused, thinking for a second, and then shook his head no. "Okay, that's totally a lie, but you can't blame me for trying to stick up for them, can you?" He turned his back from the stove and leaned against the counter, facing Yosuke and smirking.
The smirk made Yosuke's own mouth quirk upward, and his stomach knot. "I could, but I don't," he said seriously. "Not wise to blame the hand that feeds you, right?" He winked and ran a hand through his hair.
"Especially not one who has medical knowledge and knows what you're allergic to." Jude wagged his eyebrows playfully, and if he was even slightly menacing, Yosuke might have been afraid. But Jude wasn't scary. Not in the conventional ways.
Yosuke chuckled. "Unless that particular medically knowledgeable, allergy-knowing person is the type of person who always feels guilty when he has to kill a spider or gets all up-in-arms at certain episodes of certain crime dramas," he teased, giving Jude a significant look. There was about as much risk of Jude hurting him as there was the earth collapsing into a black hole. You know that. So why... his brain teased him. He knew why. Or at least you think you know that. Still... he wondered if Jude still thought of back in the day, when they almost got together. Or if he did think of it, how he felt about it.
"Raincloud." Jude's voice permeated the silence, and made Yosuke's eyes snap up from where they'd fallen on the floor.
With a chuckle, Yosuke shook his head no. "Not a raincloud, no. More like... a strong breeze. I was thinking." He pushed a hand through his hair. I really need to cut you, he thought to his hair.
Without missing a beat, Jude said, "I thought you looked sick." His voice was teasing. "What were you thinking about?" he asked.
Having him this comfortable around Yosuke was a real night and day change from how he'd been when they first met. Two years ago, when they were still tiptoeing around each other like thieves sneaking around at night, Jude never would have made a joke at Yosuke's expense. And he never would have asked outright what Yosuke was thinking about. Hearing the question was nice, though. He definitely didn't mind. Maybe... he thought, maybe it's okay to tell him.
But as soon as he opened his mouth to speak, there was a rhythmic knock on the door. "Hell-ooo!" a familiar voice came clearly from the other side of the door. "It's so quiet out here in this hallway! I'm bear-ly clinging to sanity out here!" Two years, and Teddie still hadn't let go of those bear puns.
"Teddie!" Rise laughed a little bit. "Your jokes are going to make them leave us out here in the cold. Jude-kun, Yosuke-kun, you in there? I think I heard you!" she called into the apartment.
Yosuke looked at Jude, both lamenting and decidedly not lamenting the end of the prior conversation. "Rain check?" he asked.
Jude half-smiled. "What is it with us and talking about rain?" he asked, in lieu of an affirmative or negative response. Like he knew that the rain check was indefinite, without even knowing what Yosuke was going to say. It was astounding how well he knew Yosuke sometimes. He turned back toward the stove wordlessly, and started working on the curry sauce.
The smile on his face faltered for a second. If the situation wasn't so fucked up; if he wasn't so fucked up... they really could be great together.
