A/N This is a companion piece to Reticent, he awaits the silence. It's not necessary to read that fic, but it'd probably be more fun if you did. Then again, I struggle to decide what I want for breakfast, and I probably have no right to be making decisions, let alone give orders, so you do what you want. :) ~Sammy


He was a brute, a fiend, my brother

He doesn't know how to say it.

How to explain that- I'm not broken, Dean. I'm just a monster.

Because, congratulations, Dean Winchester. You wasted your entire lifetime bringing up the dirty little beast that's busy going around destroying everything in sight with his freaky mind-powers. Now go collect your prize- a faithless angel with no orders to follow, and a little brother you thought you could trust but obviously can't because he's a lying behemoth.

He doesn't know when his inner monologue got so sassy. Probably around the time he had Meg riding around in his brain just for kicks and she'd been whispering sass at him for two weeks straight. Or maybe it was when Dean kept dying over and over and over again and he was forced to find the hilarity in his brother's death. Or maybe it was when Dean was gone and he'd had to fill the deafeningly loud silences with snarky little comments so he didn't go crazy from the isolation.

And he did such a fantastic job on not going crazy.

Because only crazy people would willingly drink demon blood in a suicidal attempt to get their brother back from the fiery pits of hell.

Well, he wasn't exactly the sanest person before, either, but whatever. Not the point.

Savages don't get the luxury of being mentally-stable.

They also don't get to ask for forgiveness.

But then, he never was one to follow norms, even if he did try for normal. Might as well give it a shot.

And if he was actually shot in the process, well. That wouldn't be the first time he'd had to dig a bullet out.

Now he just has to figure out how to get an apology out without Dean shutting him down with a 'doesn't matter Sam' or a 'I don't want to hear it Sam' or a 'too late to apologize Sam' or a 'you should've listened to me Sam' because he knows. He knows that Dean's right and he's messed up but that's not what he wants, not what he needs. Right now, he needs to find the right words to say sorry with.

Hey, Dean? I'm sorry I broke the world and let the devil out of his box. You think we could possibly hug and make up now?

Yeah.

That'd work.

He'd better get the first aid kit ready.

He was definitely getting shot.


A/N Uh. That was weird. Let me know what you thought in a review? :) ~Sammy