Title: Tell Me Something
Summary: Sakura, Hashirama and Karin gather for breakfast once a week to discuss their respective boyfriends—or lack there off.
Notes:
I. based on that one headcanon.
ii. Yes, I actually went there. :D
iii. SakuKarin's the new brotp. ^^

x

May those that love us, love us.
And those that don't love us,
May God turn their hearts.
And if he doesn't turn their hearts,
May he turn their ankles,
So we'll know them by their limping

x

"I'll have an Avocado toast with egg, a peanut butter banana smoothie and a fruit and yogurt parfait."

"I'll have a breakfast burrito, a half-plate of pancakes with maple syrup and butter, a side of hash browns and a strawberry-banana quinoa muffin."

As the waiter scurried off with the order, Sakura raised an eye brow, took a sip of her water and said, "So…"

Hashirama rubbed at his temples. "It's been quite a day, so far. Where's Karin, by the way?"

"I'll bet," she smirked, "and she should be here any minute."

At that moment, the wind chime on the café door chimed pleasantly and in walked Karin. Even from fifteen feet away, both Hashirama and Sakura could see her eyes glittering with menace. Both of them winced when she slammed her car keys—quite violently—on the table and slumped down in her seat.

"Now, Karin," started Hashirama, in his passive-aggressive, lets-not-be-unnecessarily-violent voice.

"Don't start with me, Gramps," she snapped, cutting him off before he could even start.

Sakura patted her hand soothingly as Hashirama abruptly shut his mouth, looking wounded. "You should order," said Sakura, motioning the waiter over.

"I'll have cinnamon crepes with nut butter, sliced banana and raspberries and a tropical breakfast smoothie," Karin snapped, with the practiced ease of a regular, and then slumped her shoulders like a puppy as the waiter skittered away, again.

"Oh, no," said Hashirama, "what's up?"

"Let's talk about it when breakfast arrives," said Karin, "and I'm sorry for snapping earlier, Gramps."

Hashirama grinned brilliantly, slight already forgiven and flipped his hair to the side. Sakura and Karin looked on longingly.

"I can't believe you have such gorgeous hair," Sakura grumbled, and reached out to test out the silky texture of Hashirama's Mane of Beauty. It was a perfect counterpart to Madara's Mane of Glory.

On her other side, Karin sniggered. "I bet Maddy luurves to run his hands through it."

Hashirama blushed a brilliant puce as he sputtered, "Karin!"

Sakura laughed. "Sasuke-kun's hair is like a rats nest most of the time, but I swear when I run my hands through it, it magically unknots. Fucking Uchiha's," she shook her head in amused admiration.

"Ha! I used to dream of that, back when," Karin drawled.

"Besides, you do realize you are an Uchiha, too Sakura," Hashirama pointed out snootily. He didn't like it when anyone laid into his boyfriend and/or his family, be it the aforementioned family itself.

"Ah, chill out Gramps." Sakura leaned back in her seat and swatted off Hashirama's sulky vibes with a flip of her hand, "You know, no one loves those dorks like I."

"But not Maddy," griped Karin. "He's creepy."

"He's no such—"

"And intense," added Sakura.

"I admire how you keep him in line, Gramps," Karin grinned and gave him a two finger salute.

Hashirama huffed, "He's a genuinely nice person. If you would just give him a cha—"

"Oh please, Gramps," Sakura leaned forward and cupped the side of her face in her hand, elbow resting on the table, "He's afflicted."

Karin snorted, "With excessive boredom and shocking arrogance."

"As if Sasuke is any better," sniped Hashirama.

Both Sakura and Karin smirked. It took a feat of remarkable manipulation to make Hashirama the Saint to turn on someone, and snarking on Madara was one of it.

At that moment, the waiter returned with their formidable breakfast order, and as all three of them started digging in, as per tradition, the gossip session of their breakfast started.

"So, every time I try to kiss Sasuke in front of Sarada, he freaks out like no one's business," said Sakura as she dug into her toast.

"Madara's been picking fights with me, more than usual lately. I know it's his way of showing affection, but sometimes, I just can't, ok?" Hashirama stabbed a knife into his pancakes a little more forcefully then required.

"Suigetsu asked me if I was over Sasuke, today," Karin sighed into her smoothie.

Hashirama and Sakura paused abruptly, their undivided attention now on Karin. Karin and Suigetsu had an…interesting relationship. They fought like cats and dogs, but at the end of the day, both of them had a soft spot for each other. Hashirama, softie that he was, had been silently shipping them from the sidelines for ages. And Sakura, hopeless romantic extraordinaire, had her heart invested right with Karin.

"I think he wants to ask me out," said Karin, cutting into her crepes, and Sakura and Hashirama held teir breath, "But can't work up the nerve."

The other occupants of the table deflated visibly.

"I mean, why do men have to be so freaking elusive?" she continued, unknowingly imitating a thirteen year old girl running to tell her friends about a boy who called her ugly. "Why can't they just say whatever the heck they're thinking and stop hiding their emotions behind vague statements that are impossible to decipher?"

Sakura looked at Hashirama, who looked back at her with wide eyes. Both of them shrugged and paid an inordinate amount of attention to their breakfast. Then Sakura braved the thunderstorm of Karin's anger, and said, "Maybe youshould ask him out?"

Karin glared. "As if! Why would I do that?! He can eat shit and die!"

"Hmm," Hashirama said nonchalantly. All of them pointedly ignored the light sheen of tears behind Karin's glasses.

"I'll kill him for you, if you want," said Sakura casually, with a side of menace.

Karin sniffed back the tears and held on to Sakura's hand.

They continued with the gossip session.

"Mikoto's been angling for another baby. I'm so not ready to go there," said Sakura.

"Madara scared of Naruto's wife. I think the poor darling went in shock," Hashirama sighed sadly.

"Yeah, I heard about that one," Sakura grimaced.

"Would it kill him to be nice to people," Karin glared. Hashirma opened his mouth to defend his beau, but Sakura cut him off.

"Except you, Gramps," she said. She was still bitter over the fact that Madara had tried to oppose her marriage to Sasuke.

"Ah," sighed Karin wistfully, "Reminds me of the days when the Uchiha's were powerful and notorious for their philanthropy. And the wild ways of their fucked up children.

Hashirama looked properly offended. "They still are. Except for the wild ways of–" he cut off abruptly, realizing he was just digging himself into a deeper, more notorious pit, and inhaled a calming breath. "You know what? Never mind."

Sakura and Karin smirked at him.

"Anyyywayyy," Karin continued, "That Kiba guy tried to get in my pants."

"Ugh, that beast," sniffed Hashirama disgustedly. Hashirama had had an..unfortunate incident with Kiba's distant aunt. He was not fond of the Inuzuka's.

Sakura laughed, then sobered up. "Sasuke-kun's nun-like self-denial is torture. I don't know how much longer I'll be able to keep up."

Hashirama gave her a pitying look. "I'm sure he'll come around."

"You should just jump him, you know," Karin said casually. "When he's least expecting it."

"Maybe I will," Sakura gave her smoothie a considering look, then took a dainty sip.

They ate silently for a little while. Then Hashirama said, "Madara just bought the most horrible carpet for our living room. I don't know how to tell him."

"Oh, no," said Sakura.

Karin just laughed. "Dude."

"I know," Hashirama sighed in dismay, "Have you seen him sigh? It's like a balloon deflating!"

The girls laughed at him again.

"On top of that, Tobirama saw it. I can't describe the look on his face."

"He needs to chill." Sakura laughed.

"Yeah, God forbid someone might mistake him for a seven year old boy WITHOUT a sense of derision for the world." Karin rolled her eyes, and finished off her smoothie in one, big gulp.

Hashirama daintily patted his mouth clean and chose to ignore their comments with practiced dignity. Then he steeled himself and said, "I'll tell him today."

"Way to go, Gramps."

"Just be sure to placate him with lots of lovin'," Sakura waggled her eyebrows suggestively, "You know, so he doesn't go all crazy and chemically imbalanced on us, again?"

"Count on it," Hashirama grinned, and the girl groaned their disgust.

"TMI, Gramps!"

"What? He's really loveable once you get to know him!" Hashirama lamented for the umpteenth time.

"I know," Sakura winked.

"Geez," Karin snapped disgustedly, then something outside caught her eye and she pointed, "Your Baby daddy's here."

Simultaniously, they all turned towards the window, where Sasuke was just walking down the street all suave in a casual black sweater and aviators, a five year old Sarada holding his hand.

"Yup," Sakura started gathering her things and Hashirama motioned for the bill, "That's my dork."

"I must say, fatherhood looks good on him."

Sakura's face softened with a smile, and she waved at Sasuke to come their way as he entered the café. "Sure does."

As soon as Sasuke approached their table, Karin swiped Sarada away from him. "This little beanie, baby is so cute!" she cooed in an exaggerated baby voice.

"Hey," Sarada squealed in delight and latched onto Karin.

Sasuke looked momentarily stunned and Sakura laughed at him. Blinking out of his stupor, he nodded at Hashirama and shuffled awkwardly on his feet. He was desperately awkward around him—and hadn't quite gotten over the fact that his great uncle was gay and very much in love with his own best friend's distant, x times removed, great something. Family gatherings had never been the same.

As Hashirama paid the bill, Sasuke looked anywhere but at them. So taking pity on him, Sakura started saying her goodbyes. "So, see you guys next week, then."

"Your daughter is a cutie patootie," Karin cooed in response and Sarada giggled in her arms.

"I know, babe."

"See you next week, Sakura," Hashirama beamed.

Without warning, Sasuke lifted her jacket from the back of her chair and held it out so she could slip her arms through the sleeves.

"Aw, thanks, darling." She leaned forward and quickly pecked him on the lips. Sasuke blushed furiously and looked away. "Aa."

It took them a while to pry Sarada out of Karin's arms—"Maybe you should sic Himawari on Maddy, Gramps"—and as they finally sauntered out, Karin and Hashirama looked after them with puppy eyes.

"Maybe I will ask Suigetsu out."

"That's my girl."

x

tbc