Disclaimer: all relations to characters are purely coincidental.
HARRY POTTER AND THE ROAD TO NOWHERE
CHAPTER 1: THE BIRTHDAY GIFTS
"Harry!" a voice shrieked through Harry's bedroom door. "Harry!"
Harry rolled over and groaned. He groped around on his bedside table for his glasses. He put them over his eyes and the blurry lines solidified. The pounding on the door continued. There was something odd about the voice, yet it wasn't his Aunt Petunia. Harry stood up, dizzy and tired, and put on his robe. He walked slowly towards the door.
"Harry!" Harry fumbled for the handle, turned it…
"Harry! Wake up, it's 11:20!" He opened the door and saw…
"Hermione! What are you doing here?" Harry's tired eyes bulged out. In his doorway, he saw one of his best friends, Hermione Granger.
"Well, Hello to you too!" Hermione said, entering the room and plopping the package in her hands onto Harry's bed. "Happy Birthday, Harry."
"Thanks…" Harry mumbled, confused. It was his 15th birthday, but Hermione was the last person he expected to be at his bedroom door. He glanced at the red-wrapped gifts on his unmade bed, which had been bewitched to blink with various colored dots, including blue, green, and yellow. "Nice - er - wrapping, Hermione… how did you er… get in?"
Hermione smiled as if Harry was unaware of the obvious. "Floo powder," she declared, continuing with her story, "although I'm afraid I gave your aunt quite a fright, plopping right through your chimney and out your fireplace, you know. She came running into the parlor screaming about 3-foot tongues… don't know what's wrong with her," Hermione kept talking and was saying all of this quite fast, "you know I think she might have gone batty, Harry… Heard anything from Ron? I've only got a few owls from him, you know… accidentally wound up next door, said 3 Privet Drive instead of 4 but went right back into that fireplace and into yours, had to mess with the memories, though… wonder if I'll get a Hogwart's letter 'bout that one… Your aunt was scared, anyway, she was stammering when I said, 'I'm Hermione, Harry's friend, is he here'? she just pointed up at your room, I knocked for at least 4 or 5 minutes… you may be wondering why I'm here? I'm here for your birthday, happy birthday, by the way, have I said that? Been to Diagon Alley already, bought our books and read them, and bought your birthday present… go on and open it, Harry!"
Harry, quite flustered after all of this, was still quite confused as to how Aunt Petunia let Hermione in, the only thing he could think of was that Aunt Petunia was frightened of Hermione; she was frightened of anything to do with Hogwart's School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
Harry turned to his present and began to tear the paper off. He balled it up, but as soon as he did, it magically spread out and neatly folded itself. The gift was a book, very characteristic of Hermione.
"Thanks, Hermione!" Harry grinned widely at Hermione, then looked back at his present. The book was dark green leather with gold embossed letters on the front. The letters read:
THE ROAD TO NOWHERE
Harry was slightly confused, for when he opened the book, all of the pages were blank.
"Is it a diary?" he asked.
"It's a 'self-writing journal'" Hermione pronounced smartly. Seeing how bewildered and confused Harry looked, she explained further. "It can show you your past, present, and even future, if you ask. You can say someone's name and it will show you what they are doing and where they are. You have to figure out the title. It will give you clues." There was a slight sparkle in Hermione's eye.
"You know something I don't." Harry grinned. The two began to laugh heartily. "Thanks. Thanks a lot," Harry said.
"Oh, guess what I heard about Cho Chang?" Hermione asked.
"What?" Harry blurted eagerly.
Hermione laughed. "Nothing. Just shows you still like her."
Harry chuckled. "Nooo…" he smiled.
"Ha! You-uh- really like her, huh?" Hermione's voice cracked and she blinked several times rather quickly. Harry looked away; he sensed something he didn't want to know. He changed the subject.
"I got a letter from Sirius the other day," he said. "I sent Hedwig back with a reply five days ago, and she's still not back…hope she's alright…"
"I'm sure she's fine." Hermione sounded falsely confident.
As they spoke, a slight 'bang' on the window. Pigwidgeon, Ron Weasley's owl, had slammed into Harry's window.
"Pig!" Hermione exclaimed, "Oh! Pig!" The two headed over to the window and opened it. "He must not have seen it there… oh, poor Pig!"
Harry picked the owl up. It seemed dazed and slightly confused, but Pigwidgeon was fine. A letter was attached to his foot. Harry removed the letter and placed Pig in Hedwig's cage.
He opened the letter. It was from Ron, of course. A small box, round and heavy, was tied to the letter. The words on the parchment read:
Harry,
Hope you have a good birthday. I know you ran out of this stuff last year, so here's some more. Happy Birthday.
Ron
The package attached was a tin of polish for flying brooms. He had really wanted some.
It was Harry's birthday, and he was happy at least someone had remembered. When he was little, no one remembered. The most he ever got was a sock.
"Hermione," he said, "I'm glad you're here."
"Thanks, Harry," she replied, "I'm glad I'm here, too. Sorry to surprise you so much…"
"No! It's fine! I'm glad to see you!" Harry said quickly. He heard a small squeak and turned to Hedwig's cage. Pigwidgeon was flying into the wire sides of the cage and flitting around madly. Pig was always extremely active and always somewhat proud of himself for delivering something correctly. Harry heard Hermione cough slightly. "Would you like something to drink?" Harry asked Hermione, turning back towards her, "Floo Powder always makes me thirsty."
"As a matter of fact," she said, clearing her throat, "That would be excellent." Harry beckoned to Hermione as he walked out the door and into the corridor. The two walked down the hall and down the stairs. The kitchen door was closed, which Harry thought quite odd.
"So, how's you holiday been, Harry? Mine's been-" Hermione stopped talking as Harry placed his finger upon his lips, shushing her. Muffled voices could be heard through the door; it was Harry's Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon. Vernon was speaking to Petunia quite loudly now, so Harry and Hermione could hear what he was saying quite clearly.
"Why did you let that-that witch into our house?" He demanded.
"I-I didn't know what else to-to doooo," Aunt Petunia sobbed, sniffling loudly.
"Well, that wasn't the right thing to do! I'll bet they're up there doing magic, as we speak."
Aunt Petunia squealed. "We should never have him go to that school! But-then again- there wasn't much we could do with that-that giant freak of a man threatening us and giving our baby a piggy tail!"
"I know, dear, I know. And what with the crazy things they teach them in that horrid school…" Uncle Vernon continued talking as Harry looked at Hermione angrily. They were still outside the door, ears pressed against the wood. The two recognized one word as Aunt Petunia spoke - Dumbledore.
"That- that kook! Dumbledore! He had no business dropping Harry on our stoop like that without asking, you know! And now look- a wizard and a witch in our house! Excellent!" There was a hateful sarcasm in her voice as she muttered angrily, "I don't even know why that - that girl, if you can call her that… why she's here anyway."
Hermione looked extremely spiteful as she narrowed her eyes and pursed her lips. She burst through the door. "I'm here because today is Harry's birthday. Didn't you know that?"
Harry could barely keep back his laughter as he saw the looks of horror on Aunt Petunia, Uncle Vernon, and Harry's cousin Dudley's faces.
"That's just as I thought. He's 15, you know. Today. I brought his birthday present." Hermione had her hands on her hips and her head cocked to the side. Harry entered the room slowly, and all heads in the room turned to him.
"Ha-Ha-Ha," Dudley stuttered breathlessly at Harry.
"What?" Harry pondered.
"Happy B-B-Birthday?"
"Is that a question, Dudley?" Harry couldn't help smiling. It was the first time Dudley had ever said Happy Birthday to him.
"No… Happy… Happy…" It was as if he couldn't say it.
"Thanks." Harry walked towards the refrigerator to get fizzies for himself and Hermione. He paused, deciding to have a little fun.
"So, Hermione," He said, winking at her with his back towards the Dursleys. "What spells have you done over the holiday?"
"Oh…" Hermione replied airily, casually taking a sip of her Coca-Cola. "I've done an oculus totalus, a largo hairius, and even a - a…" she paused dramatically. "A… Trifilus Totalus."
"No!"
Harry gasped. He didn't know what any of those spells were, but as Hermione was extremely book smart, he doubted any of them had been made up. Harry glanced back at the Dursleys. Aunt Petunia had her hand clasped over her mouth, Dudley looked as though he were about to cry, and Uncle Vernon's left eye was twitching. "Well…" Harry said to the Dursleys, very theatrically, "We're going to go examine our Transfiguration books. You know our teacher, Professor McGonagall, is very strict. She turns into a cat a lot you know. And anyway, for homework we have to turn a- uh, er - a clothes hanger, into a tortoise before the start of term."The Dursleys looked more frightened than ever. As Hermione and Harry headed up through the doors, up the stairs and down the corridor silently, Harry heard Hermione snigger. When they reached his bedroom, Harry slammed the door. Hermione doubled over in laughter, and Harry laughed so uproariously that tears streamed down his face. After about 10 minutes, as their laughter subsided, Harry was extremely pleased to see a familiar sight in the distance through his window.
"Hermione! Hedwig's returned!" As his beautiful snowy owl floated gracefully through Harry's window, Hermione smiled. Harry hadn't noticed how much better Hermione looked now. Her hair, which had been slightly frizzy and bushy, was now sleek and straight. Harry ripped his eyes away from her only as Hedwig began to nip his shoulder impatiently.
"Oh! A letter from Sirius!" Harry exclaimed, happily taking the letter from Hedwig's leg. He unrolled the parchment on his desk, and, with Hermione peering over his shoulder, began to read the letter, which read:
Dear Harry,
Happy 15th birthday, Harry! Your gift from me is too large to send with an owl; you will get it from me when you reach Hogwart's. You will be pleased to find (or at least I hope you will be pleased) to find that your new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher is me. Albus Dumbledore sought me out, I am sure, after examining many other teachers. The job is most undesirable by almost all except Snape, and of course, he teaches potions, so… anyway, I wanted to be at Hogwart's because I need to keep an eye on something. You'll find out later. Tell Hermione and Ron I said hello. Sorry I didn't send Hedwig back sooner, but I needed her for something. Happy Birthday, again.
Sirius
Harry was quite confused. Sirius, a teacher? And what did he need to keep an eye on? What did he need Hedwig for?
"Harry…" Harry snapped back into reality as Hermione touched his shoulder. "I'd better go now… Mum said to be back by luncheon."
"Oh… yes… thanks for coming, Hermione! And thanks for the book!"
"You're welcome, Harry! Happy Birthday!" Hermione headed out the door, and a moment later, he heard Aunt Petunia scream, and he knew Hermione had used the Floo Powder to walk into the flames in the fireplace and to get back home.
That night, as Harry removed his glasses and climbed into bed, he thought about the day. The rest of it, at least after Hermione had left, was somewhat uneventful. Harry kept thinking about the letter from Sirius, and also Hermione's gift. What did she know about it? What did Harry have to figure out? Was what he needed to find at Hogwart's? Was it just a puzzle? Harry's head was flooded with questions, and he lay there in his bed for hours pondering them, until he finally drifted off to sleep.
