* Author Note: This is my first fanfiction so please be gentle. Having said that please feel free to tell me what you think. I apologize before hand if I missed any errors in this. Thank you for taking the time to read my little fanfiction. -007twihunger xoxo
Chapter One: The Reaping
I stare out the backdoor window as my hands hover in the air over the pristine black and white keys of the piano, until I realize what I'm doing then almost immediately I duck my head and press the keys down and try to come up with what song I should play. I end up deciding on an old song my mother use to sing to me when I was little called the Hanging Tree. The song doesn't have any sheet music to it so I have to make up my own but since I play by ear it isn't that hard. Just as I submerge myself into the song there is a sharp knock at my backdoor which makes me jerk away from the piano slightly as well as accidentally press a few wrong keys making me wince before I pull my hands into my lap then rise from the piano bench. I straighten out my new white dress. Just as I start walking towards the backdoor there is a timid knock, which makes me pick up my pace a little since I know that that last knocked belonged to Katniss while the foremost belonged to Gale.
When I reach the door I pause then pull in a much needed breath before making sure my dress and hair are presentable in the hallway mirror before I plaster on my best Capital smile. With one more breath I open the door and take it the two seam kids standing on my back porch. Katniss gives me a friendly smile while she tugs awkwardly at the end of her braid as Gale openly glares at me, his arms folded across his chest. My eyes immediately search out Katniss, I offer up as much of a real smile as I can with Gale so close and glaring at me for things I can't control. Katniss offers up the container of strawberries her and Gale bring me whenever there in season.
"Thanks" I mumble meekly taking the basket from my friends outstretched hands before placing the container of strawberries onto the counter and even swifter yanking down the jar we keep on top of the refrigerator for strawberries. With a small awkward smile I hand Katniss the coins like I do every transaction, completely ignoring Gale. But unlike normally Gale catches my eye as he states at me openly. Looking me up then down before saying "pretty dress Undersee" with a smile on his face. I smile back feeling pleasantly surprised by his comment. I look down and straighten my dress once more before looking up at him and noticing that he's not smiling at me but instead smirking. With a heavy sinking heart I just stare at him before replying in a monotone "well if I end up going to the Capital, I want to looks nice, don't I?" which makes him glare venomously at me, his arms drop then fist at his sides as he takes a small step toward me "you won't be going to the Capital," Gale says coolly as his hard gray eyes come to rest on my gold pin on the front of my dress. I fight the urge to fix my pin under his close scrutiny. "What could you have? Five entries? I had six when I was just twelve" I glare at him and open my mouth ready to retort but before I can Katniss says "that's not her fault" causing me to smile at her genuinely, silently thanking her for defending me to her best friend. "No ones fault. Just the way it is" Gale replies haughtily, making me absentmindedly close off my face and take on my Capital mayor's daughter smile as well as my role that I was taught at the tender age of three.
I offer Katniss one last genuine smile as I continue to ignoring Gale Hawthorne's existence, "good luck, Katniss" "You too" she says giving me a grimace in the place of the smile I know she tries to give me, silently apologizing to me about her best friend before they turn and trudge towards the backyard gate. I watch them for a few more seconds before closing the backdoor then placing the container of strawberries for a later snack into the refrigerator. It doesn't take me too long to pull on my black kitten heels and after that I'm rushing from my house towards the bakery.
I ignore the glances, laughs, and dirty looks pointed at me from people as I rush through town towards the bakery to see my best friend and only friend besides Katniss and his brothers. Once I reach the bakery I can't help but release a relieved sigh, seeing the practically empty bakery, save from the Mellark boys and no doubt there parents probably in the back. A goofy grin spreads across my face as I watch through the large window of the bakery as Rye tosses a handful of flour at his younger brother, making Peeta immediately retaliate by tossing a handful of what looks like either salt or sugar into Rye's shaggy blond hair. With a happy smile I walk into the bakery, causing the bell overhead to chime my greeting. All three Mellark boys look at me and grin warmly at me as I make my way up to the counter. "What can I get for you Madgie?" Peeta's bright voice asks. I stare down at the display case looking at all the yummy treats before looking back up at my best friend, giving him a smile as I do, "a three tiered chocolate cake with strawberry filling, a loaf of bread, and two apple turnovers. Please and thank you" is my sweet reply which gains a snort of laughter from both Bannock and Rye, who are adding and rearranging things in the display case as well as the few baskets and treys behind the counter.
Peeta narrows his eyes at me causing me to do the same, silently saying its okay for me to buy him things since he's my one true friend … well besides the silent friendship Katniss and I share, but that's only at school where we're both friendless, for two very different reasons. Katniss's being that she's as friendly as a cactus while no one wants to be friends with the likes of me because of who my father is. "What? Am I not allowed to buy food for my best friend, in the hopes I can bribe him to spend some time with me?" I question with a raised eyebrow daring him to object but knowing he won't since he buys me small things on occasion with the small monthly allowance he gets from his dad for working at the bakery. Peeta and I glare one last time at each other for good measures before Peeta grumbles out a "fine" as he starts to ring up my purchases to my families account then rather quickly placing two fresh apple turnovers into a dessert box before placing a no doubt fresh loaf of bread on the back corner of the bar behind him where things wait for delivery. "You need the cake for tonight right for after the reaping?" Bannock asks as he jots down on a small notepad. I just smile and nod my head. After Peeta hands me the dessert box with our apple turnovers in them as he turns towards his brothers "I'm going to take my break now" he says taking off his apron then placing it on an empty hook before making his way from around the corner to me.
Peeta and I sit in comfortable silence as we watch his older brothers ring up peoples purchases while we nibble at on our apple turnovers. "How are things with your mom going?" Peeta questions making me jump slightly from being startles by his sudden question. My gaze swiftly comes to rest on my best friend. Light blues eyes meet dark blue eyes. I stare at him a few seconds, trying my best to think how I should reply so I don't breakdown and cry, "the same, I guess." Is the very intellectual response I'm capable of thinking up off the top of my head. Peeta nods, not looking at me but instead at his half eaten turnover he holds. "How are things with your mom going?" I ask, throwing his own question back at him as my eyes search his face, which is for once void free of any cuts or bruises. I watch as Peeta's shoulders lift then drop "she's been all bark and no bite for the past two weeks" he states lowly for only me to hear as the bell over the door announces two new customers. It's not a surprise to anyone that Mrs. Mellark not only beats her three son's but her husband as well.
I watch as Peeta takes notice of something over my right shoulder before dropping his gaze to his now discarded apple turnover. That one look and I know. That one look of hurt that passes through Peeta's kind warm blue eyes lets me know that the two new costumers are Katniss and Gale. Thoughts of my turnover are far from my mind as I too discard my treat into the dessert box it came in that is placed in between us on the table. Not too subtly I look over my right shoulder at the two hunters, watching as they converse quietly amongst themselves as they make their way up to the counter. Katniss looks both uncomfortable and worried while Gale, who stands close at her side looks the same as always tall, dark, handsome, and silently brooding as he scowls but when he catches me staring at him, he gives me a hard gray glare filled with so much anger and 100% pure hatred that is directed solely at me. My heart drops as does my head as I turn back around. My whole face feels hot and that alone tells that my face much be red from my blush of embarrassment.
After a short beat and no doubt when Peeta notices my crestfallen face, that is still faced towards the table. He reaches over the table to grasp my hand in his own, which has me glancing up at him through my eyelashes offering up a small appreciative smile as I give his hand a thanking squeeze before moving back so my hands rest in my lap. We both try our hardest not to listen to the two seam kids at the counter only a few feet off to our left with Peeta's brothers. Because we're so close to the counter its rather hard to ignore their conversation since we hear every word spoken between the four of them. "Your supposed to come to the back" Bannock states evenly as Rye glares at Gale. Katniss shifts on her feet as her hands wring the strap of her bag "we tried, but no one came when we knocked so…" Katniss puts forth before trailing off. And even though I'm not looking at her, I see when she looks over my way, so me being friends with her makes me immediately turn to offer her a small smile but I frown as I see she has her gray eyes on Peeta's blond slightly shaggy hair, which has some flour in it from Rye's previous attack a while ago.
Just as I'm about to let Peeta know about Katniss staring at him my eyes meet gray ones that belong to my friend, which she drops to the ground quickly. "Can we trade or what?" Gale snaps, his eyes not looking away from the glare Rye sends him but instead Gale glare right back until Katniss releases an annoyed sigh. "Can you please wait outside Gale" she whispers, gaining Gale to drop his glare at Rye in favor of looking at his best friend and hunting partner that we all know he is in love with, well everyone besides Katniss herself. Gale doesn't say anything in reply to Katniss before he scowls then storms out of the bakery, leaving Katniss to tend to the trade like always. "I got two squirrels and a pretty plump rabbit" Katniss offers up awkwardly, her hands immediately go to the end of her braid to pull at it like she does at school when she's nervous. Her eyes look from Rye then to Bannock before settling on the latter of them, since Rye's still visibly fuming. Its not that Rye doesn't like people form the seam, its just that he doesn't like Gale. He says its because Gale's a hypocritical prejudice asshole who has made it almost impossible for Peeta to even talk to the girl he's loved since he was five. But the way Rye's eyes cloud over with such hate I think there's more to it than he tells me or even lets up.
"Sure thing Everdeen" Bannock grins wiping his flour covered hands on his apron before gesturing towards the back of the shop "I'm pretty busy making a cake order for the mayor or I could help you, and Rye's on his break. My mom and dad are in town taking some orders out, so you can either trade with Peeta or try coming back later when its not so busy. " Bannock adds on, "of course there moms not here" I think as I realize that they wouldn't have been playing around while at work let alone throwing ingredients at each other. Rye, Peeta, and I are floored by Bannock's words, never once has Ban tried to intervene with either of his younger brothers love lives so its way more than a shock that he's doing this for Peeta. Katniss hesitantly as well as rather shyly looks over at Peeta, silently asking him if that's okay with him but he remains too shock to offer up a reply so I do. "Peeta would love to help you Kat. Besides I have to go anyway" I tell Katniss then address Peeta with the last part of my statement, trying my hardest to not grin like a fool at my best friend like he's already doing to me. "You're the best Madgie!" Peeta mumbles lowly causing me to smile and roll my eye in return.
Peeta and I both get up from the table at the same time. I watch with a small smile as Peeta leads Katniss to the back of the shop to trade. Just as I start to make my way towards the shops front door Rye calls my name "Madge!" I turn and look at him with a raised eyebrow as I try to hide my smile at seeing his bright and hopeful face, "didn't you her Ban? I'm on my break … want to come upstairs?" Rye asks shyly rubbing the back of his neck as his smile slowly vanishes from his face. It takes me a minute before I realized I haven't answered his question and instead have been staring at him for god knows how long with a goofy smile on my face. I drop my gaze to my black kitten heels, my eyes tracing over the buckle on the top of my feet as I try to hide the no doubt bright red blush I know is tinted to my cheeks. Rye chuckles then lean over the counter so he's resting on his arms, still waiting for my reply. With a bite of my lip I finally look up then offer Rye a shy nod, that gets me large smile from him. Rye jerks his head into a nod as he takes off his apron and hangs it up next to Peeta's, not taking his eyes off me "Okay cool. I'll just clean up my station then meet you out back" he states. I nod in agreement before quickly leaning over the counter and placing a small chaste kiss to his lip then even quicker taking off for the door at a fast speed walk, not looking back at either of the Mellark boys that are still behind the counter.
Almost immediately my arms cross over my chest and my hands rub almost absentmindedly up my arms then down them before repeating the process over and over again, from the crisp morning air blowing through the district. I walk slowly towards the back of the bakery knowing Rye won't be done for a few minutes, since he has to not only clean up his station in the back but the large mess he and Peeta had made with the flour and sugar. My eyes peer to the sky, taking in the dark glooming sky that has an eerie feeling to it, like something is off today. And I guess in a way it is since today's the reaping for the seventy-fourth hunger games and two kids that go to my school will be chosen to fight to the death in the games.
Once I reach the back of the shops I easily find the one that belongs to the bakery then stand awkwardly, trying my best to not get any coal dust on my new dress. My blond curls blow around my shoulders making me have to tighten the pink ribbon I have tied to hold my hair back from my face, twice. "What are you doing back here princess?" the very familiar annoyed voice of Gale sneers from my left. It only takes me a few seconds before I spot him leaning against one of the shops walls, hidden away by the shadow of the roof, which easily stops the sun from streaming into the back alley of the shops on days like today. My face scrunches up as I try to make out his face that is still slightly concealed in the shadows, "none of your damn business Hawthorne" I reply with just as much annoyance lacing my voice. I feel proud of myself for being able to reply so quickly as I turn my gaze towards the backdoor of the bakery, wishing more than anything that Rye would hurry the hell up and save me from getting a tongue lashing from the jerk I helplessly have a rather large crush on. It surprisingly makes my crush grow bigger with every rude thing Gale says to me. Not because I like being treated like trash but because at least he has the courage to say what he feels to my face instead of whisper it behind my back like everyone else seems to do, they hate me but then will pretend that we're best friends if they want something. That's something I came to learn when I was younger, when the kids in my class pretended to be my friends because I had things they wanted but that sure as hell didn't stop them from pushing me down, pulling my hair or calling me rude names two minutes later.
Oh would you look at that, the townie can cuss" Gale teases, if these words were spoken to me from Peeta or one of his brothers I would probably laugh and swat at them for teasing me but since its Gale saying it I don't, and that's because I know without a doubt he detests me as well as doesn't mean it the playful teasing way friends do but the way a lot of people look at the other social class in the district, like there better. No matter if it's the seam or town, that doesn't stop from the rather large and ugly prejudice that seems to plague not only district twelve but the other districts of Panem. I turn on my heels to glare at Gale, letting my arms drop to my side as I clench my hands into fists trying to keep myself from lunging and punching Gale in the face repeatedly. A small smile pulls at the corner of my lips as I think about actually being able to punch him, the idea is more than a little appealing but then I think of the consequences. Of Peacekeepers getting involved because, of who my father is. Of Gale getting angry to the point of him to froth at the mouth, as he continues to shoot bigoted slurs one after the other at me. Probably all the things he keeps himself from saying to me on any other day. I deflate almost immediately as I take in the anger on Gale's face, telling me he doesn't care who he's arguing with. He just wants to target his anger somewhere so he can vent his frustrations probably on how hard his life is and how shitty town folks like myself are or maybe that Katniss is so clueless to not only Gale's feeling for her as well as the ones Peeta so obviously has himself. I open my mouth to ask if he's okay and if he maybe might want to talk about whatever's bugging him but before I can utter a single word the backdoor of the bakery swings open and out walks Rye with a large smile on his face that almost immediately vanishes once he takes sight of Gale a few feet away from me, then he glares and quickly bounds down the few steps that lead up to the bakeries backdoor. "Madge come on" Rye says as he reaches me then intertwines our fingers together before pulling towards the back of the bakery that has a flight of stairs that lead up to where the Mellark's live, above the bakery.
I let Rye tow me along close behind him, not wanting to start anymore problems between Gale and Rye but before we make it up the three steps of the back porch Gale's humorless voice calls after us "I didn't know you were a dog Undersee." I clench my jaw and tighten my hand around Rye's as I feel him start to turn so he can defend me but just as he turns I step in front of him, not letting him have a clear view of the over six foot seam kid he's hated for ever. "Just let it go Rye, he's not worth it. Just let it go" I breath resting my free hand on the side of Rye's face, making him look at me. With a clenched jaw and some hesitation Rye nods in agreement before letting go of my hand then walking a little ways in front of me. I can't help but glance back at Gale and frown seeing his hard eyes still fixed on us, before he lets out a low aggravated growl then turns and stomps off and just as I'm about to shut the bakeries backdoor behind me, I hear the almost undetectable murmur of "I didn't know you were such a slut Undersee. I wonder what the mayor would think if he found out?" come from Gale who isn't that far down the alleyway. My heart plummets into my stomach and turns sickly before I'm filled from head to toe with the normal numbness that always follows after the very few things Gale manages to say that actually hurt me.
I follow Rye up the backstairs towards his house with my head turned downwards as I worry my bottom lip, trying everything I can think of to not think about Gale's words that seem to play on repeat in my head. Was I a slut? I mean the only guy I've ever kissed has been Rye and that started no latter than three days ago. Rye was walking me home after I had spent the day over at the bakery, helping the Mellark's make cookies and cakes since those were the only things I could actually manage to make. It was cold that night so we walked more closely together than we normally would. We had got to my house and just as I turned to wish Rye a save trip back home as well as goodnight, my lips are quickly met with Rye's lips and I'm rendered speechless as I stare wide eyed at a boy who I've know my whole life feeling awkward as well as not knowing what to do or even what to say. Rye had pulled back and just stared at me for a few seconds with this small smile on his face that made him look like a kid on Christmas so I had just kept quiet half hoping he would just mumble an apology before quickly heading home but instead he asks "can I kiss you again?" His question hangs in the air in an almost unbearable eerie silence, us just staring at each other. My stomach is in knots and I'm in uncharted waters. No guy from town or seam has ever tired to peruse me let alone try and kiss me, I let my eyes drop to my white flats that have coal dust smeared on them from the small trek to the edge of town I made with Peeta earlier in the day on a delivery.
Only when I'm able to stand Rye's intense gaze do I venture looking back up at my friend. My eyes meet uncertain icy blue eyes that hold nothing but warmth for me, "okay" I manage to get out as I realize that maybe Rye will be the only guy to ever like me. He smiles brightly at me and I feel my face turn red from a blush as he continues to look at me like I'm the most beautiful thing he's ever seen, I would have to disagree with that notion but the look on his face tells me he wouldn't. I meet Rye halfway in a small chaste kiss that leaves me feeling slightly different than just a few minutes ago. "Did you hear a word I said to Madge?" Rye asks waving his hand in front of my face as I come out of my own thoughts, I frown at him and slowly shake my head no, which makes him groan playfully at me before giving me a wink as I follow Rye down the small hallway then into the last door in the back which is the room Rye and Peeta share. Rye waits for us to be in his room with the door shut as we sit on the edge of his bed before he repeats whatever he had told me earlier when I was trapped in my own thoughts. "I said someone needs to teach that piece of shit seam rat his place. Your always too lenient with him. Your fathers the mayor, he could put Gale into the stocks for a few hours to get it through his tiny brain who he can and can't disrespect like that" Rye seethes glaring at his work shoes that are slightly sprinkled with flour. I watch as Rye yanks off one then the next shoe before throwing it rather hard at the ground making them bounce with a low thug on the ground from the force. I don't know what I'm supposed to say as I sit here next to Rye. I'm at a loss of words so I do the only thing I can think of that will keep him from storming over to the Justice Building to complain about Gale's disregard of the respect that the mayor and his family should receive from the people of district twelve, I kiss him. my lips slam into his and for a few seconds he just sits there staring at me as I press my lips harder to his then the next thing I know he's pulling back from me and staring at me with furrowed eyebrows, silently questioning my assault. "I don't want to waste my breath talking about some seam boy" I say with as much annoyance and distain as I can force into my voice even though it makes me feel physically ill. A smile slowly makes its way onto Rye's face before I'm met with his lips and slowly forced to lay back on his bed.
"I think somethings wrong with me" I silently pounder to myself as I move my lips in time with Rye's, I should feel something when I kiss Rye, right? I mean there should be some type of spark like there is in books. "Maybe your just thinking too much into it instead of just enjoying the nice numbness that flows through you when you lose yourself in kisses with Rye Mellark" a small voice in the back of my mind says and for once I take its advice and close my eyes and focus on the bliss of nothingness Rye gives me as I let my arms hang loosely around his neck and continue to kiss him.
I head home to retouch up my appearance after awkwardly leaving the Mellark's house after Mrs. Mellark walked in on her second oldest son pressing my small frame into his mattresses as his hands started to wander towards the end of my dress and not too surprising I feel thankful for her intrusion knowing I'm not ready to move forward in whatever we're doing. The walk home doesn't take as long as the journey to the bakery, probably because I'm sprinting the whole way so I can get further away from Rye's wandering hands and his delighted mothers look she gave me once she found us. I frown thinking about how my dad would probably have had a conniption if he had found us like that in my room. With a low groan in my throat I quickly rush up the front steps of my porch then into my house, shutting the door louder than I mean to behind me. "Margaret is that you?" my father calls from his office, from down the back hall near the basement door. I suck in a sharp shaky breath as I quickly straighten out my slightly creased dress before replying sweetly "yes father. Did you want to speak to me?" as I stand in the hallway staring at his open office door. I'm not allowed anywhere near my fathers office, this one or the one at the Justice Building probably because he get Capital mail about the other districts and what not. "Yes Pearl I need to talk to you" is my fathers reply which I honestly expected. What I didn't expect was the slight panic in his voice.
I don't know how long I stand in the hallway just staring at the mahogany door of my fathers office, but it feels like hours instead of how ever long it actually takes. But when I start making my way towards my fathers office, its with small frail steps and a heavy lump in my throat that leaves me forgetting how to speak. I feel like I did when I was little and I would have to go to my fathers office for a punishment that was tapped for the Presidents sick pleasure, to make sure that the officials that Snow picked to be in power around the districts would be on their best behavior all the time not to mention have us following his every word. I stop just in front of the threshold of the door, just staring at my father who has his face in his hands then with a shaky inhale I school my features and make my way into his office with more speed and respect as I'm supposed to.
I sit in the brown leather chair in front of my fathers desk, running my fingers over the stich work on the arm of the chair as I wait for my father to address whatever he needs to speak to me about. When my father finally looks up from his hands at me I notice that his normal kind warm eyes are sorrow filled. "The President called me today" he started, not revealing anything in his detached voice or his eyes that seem to stare at me like I'm a little girl again, instead of the sixteen year old girl or rather young lady I am today. I want to ask what Snow said, to get my father talking faster instead of saying something only to cut off and stare at me for a few moments before he averts his eyes and begins again. "He's going to be attending your birthday ball along with a 'friend' who he would very much like you to meet as well as show around our lovely district" I stare at my father feeling empty and numb. I find myself thinking "I'm going to get set up by some disgusting monster to one of his disgusting friends who are no doubt as horrible as him." Its not a secret amongst me and my family and all the ones like mine that are appointed the opportunity of getting their future like myself picked out for them since nothing will change besides the fact that we will, no doubt still be living in the houses we grew up in our whole lives and will raise the children we're forced to have with some man or woman we don't know as well as be made into the beautiful yet quiet mayors wife or husband. "Daddy…" I whisper then trail off not knowing what more to say. My eyes swell with tears and my throat feels heavy with emotion, my father just looks at me sorrowfully "you have until then to get one of those Mellark boys to propose to you … Or Darius, he is a nice boy. I'm sure he would love to be with you Pearl" "if I find someone before my birthday and manage to get engaged … will I … will I still be forced to marry whoever President Snow want me to?" I ask in a detached voice, my eyes staring into my fathers green eyes unseeingly as I think my question through "surely he couldn't if I was already spoken for" I think nodding absentmindedly to myself before looking back at my father with large eyes. Once I feel his hands reach out and grasp my much smaller hand in his I glance up at him. "Its worth a try" he states lowly, almost too lowly for me to hear but then that means the bugs wired all throughout my house most likely won't pick it up. I give my father a reassuring nod before getting to my feet "I should freshen up, the reaping is in an hour" I say with a nod of my head sending my curls into my face and swishing wildly around my shoulders "we'll talk more tonight. We haven't been on a walk in a while" my father says almost like an afterthought but I hear his hidden meaning behind it. 'We'll talk later where the President can't hear us' his eyes say and all I can do is nod them give him a small smile before pressing a kiss to his cheek then retreat out of his office and towards my room to fix my windswept hair and creased dress.
As I pass my mothers room I stop seeing her door is cracked open. My bottom lip becomes ensnared between my teeth as I search first up the hall then down the hall with my large blue eyes, making sure I won't get yelled at for bothering my mother from her rest. With one last glance down both sides of the hallway I hesitantly make my way into my mothers room only to stop as I see her perched up against the headboard and already smiling warmly at me, her clouded blue eyes brimmed with tears. "May? Oh Maysilee I thought you died. Oh than god it was only a dream" my mothers airy voice says as a watery smile takes place on her thin chapped lips making me feel as if a dagger or five stabs at my heart. I just stare at the shell of the woman who use to garden with me, who use to sneak into my bedroom from ages three to five so we could have a small birthday party with just her, dad, and me without all the Capital guest acting as if they cared even a sliver about some mayors daughter of the poorest district in Panem. "Yes Madeline I'm fine. What have I told you about watching those horrid games before bed?" I chastise lightly as I make my way over to my mothers bed then gently sit down on the edge of the bed as I try to not jostle my mother too much. I give her a genuine smile as I gently start running my fingers through her hair, "just try to go back to sleep Maddie" I whisper, trying to keep my fingers from shaking from the hurt and anger I feel about my own mother who is too sick to realize I'm her sixteen year old daughter who is still alive and needs her very much instead of the long dead aunt I've never met. "Maybe she knows I'm me and instead just chooses to act like I'm May" I think then instantly disregard my thought knowing she would never do that to me. "That would be too cruel" I think helping ease my mother so she's laying down before I pull her comforter up to her shoulders before I return to running my long slender fingers through her thin pale blond hair. "I love you May" I hear my mother sleepily whisper and I can't help the tears that leak out of my eyes and down my cheeks, absorbing into the collar of my dress. "I love you too mom" I breath only slight above a whisper as I lean down then place a kiss on my mothers forehead lightly, not wanting to press too hard since she looks so frail. Like she might burst into dust if she is so much touched, without anything other than care.
I quickly clean my face then reapply my makeup since my crying had streaked my mascara and eyeliner. I only have to re-iron my new dress as well as run a brush through my hair once before I'm presentable for reaping. Before too long its one and I'm walking alone towards the square to get signed in before the reaping starts. Instead of watching the people around me and taking in the too festive looking decorations that are set up every year for reaping, I find myself being entirely too engrossed with the light coat of coal dust smeared to the small silver on the buckles of the straps of my black kitten heels. I get into the first line I see and don't even flinch as an ungodly orange woman I've never seen before jerks my hand towards her then pricks my finger without care. "Name and age?" the orange woman rasp, not looking up from the compute in front of her that has a recent picture of me smiling "oh come on" I think before swallowing down my anger from her lack of manors, intellect, and respect. "Margaret Maysilee Undersee and I'm sixteen" I say with forced sweetness that makes me sound like the bubbly naive girl the mayors daughter is supposed to be. The woman just gives me an annoyed jerky nod telling me to find my section before she calls for the next person in line.
The further I get the tighter it gets and the harder it is to move through the crowd of people until I come to stop in the sixteen year old girl section. "Hey Madge" Delilah Cartwright aka Delly calls as she gently and meekly makes her way through the tight crowd until she is standing next to me quietly. Delly is the daughter of the only shoe maker in our district, so like me she doesn't have too may friends and I instantly feel guilt bubbling up inside as I think about how I didn't count her as my friend when I thought about the very few friends I have. Its kind of sad to think I'm such a loser, I mean you'd think at least some of the town kids would want to be my friend with the mayors daughter since I'm one of them in many ways but no. the only people who actually are friendly with me are Peeta, Katniss, Rye, Bannock, Delly, Darius, and our drunk victor Haymitch Abernathy who happens to be my godfather so maybe he doesn't count. But if he doesn't count then neither does Darius or Delly since I'm pretty sure they only talk to me let alone hang out with me on very slim occasions like when I'm shopping in town, because they feel bad for me and maybe so does Katniss. "Hi Delly" I grin, not wanting to spend too much time thinking about my awful life because then I start feeling guilty and ridiculous about all the people who have it a hundred times worse than I do. "How have you been doing?" I ask acting like we're in one of the shops buying things instead of waiting here like cattle, patiently waiting to see who's being sent off to be slaughtered. I watch as Delly turns towards me more beamingly before she jumps into a lengthy story about how she's secretly dating a seam boy named Thom and that her parents would kill her if they knew. I play my part to a tee smiling, squealing with delight, and swooning right when I'm supposed to. I frown realizing how easy it is to act like the perfect mayors daughter, that I don't have to pay any attention to the thing around me any longer.
Just as Delly starts gushing over the date Thom took her on last night Katniss walks up to my side and offers up a sympathetic smile that I return genuinely. Katniss and Delly trade hellos as I watch my father along with our district escort Effie Trinket, and my drunk godfather Haymitch Abernathy make their way out onto the stage. Haymitch stumbles over to an empty seat as Effie looks on at him with disgust as she takes the seat furthest from him as my father starts off the reaping just like every year. I could probably recite his speech asleep from the age of ten and I guess that's good since I'm either gong to be the next mayor or my future husband will be.
My eyes fall then lock on my shoes, taking in the fine stitching that Mr. Cartwright has done as I tune out the noise around me until I hear the one noise I haven't been able to tune out for the last sixteen years, Effie Trinket, "Happy Hunger Games! And may the odds be ever in your favor!" her overly cheery voice rings out around us as we all watch her, silently praying our names won't be called but knowing two of them will, but which two? Effie's pink wig shifts slightly as she walks over to the large reaping bowls, one for the boys and one for the girls. "Ladies first!" her shrill voice states as she dips her hand into the large bowl, that contains everyone girl from the age of twelve to eighteen names in it from our district. My name is in that bowl five times and maybe its not as much as Katniss or Gale but it is still a lot. "My aunt only had five when she was chosen" I think, feeling an uncomfortable knot form in my stomach "your not her" I think. Everything happens so fast that I'm pretty sure its in slow-motion. First thing being that Effie has finally pulled some unlucky girls name form the bow, second being that every one around me steps back and stares at me like I'm even more of a leaper than they normally do, and thirdly the name she calls out is mine.
"Margaret Undersee" Effie repeats as I stand stalk still thinking I might have misheard her but the look on Katniss and Delly's face tell me other wise, so immediately I turn into the small scared little girl that every woman has secretly hiding inside of them and look to my father hoping somehow he can save me but the pure heart wrenching sadness and fear I see in his wide eyes tells me otherwise.
"Come on my dear no need to be shy" Effie's sickly too sweet voice croons as she gives me a bright smile and I realize how I'm making myself look, I look weak. I quickly plaster a sheepish smile on my face then at a moderate pace that I usually walk at, make my way up to the stage. Every step I take closer to the stage feels like another and another nail in my coffin, "I wonder if they'll tell my mother that I'm dead or just act like I never exsisted like they try to do with my aunt" I can't help but think as I come to stand before my district, feeling every bit the small scared girl everyone here thinks I am.
