This is written from Bella's POV, after Edward leaves her in the woods during New Moon.
Bella's Pain
Spinning, spiraling further and further downward. Flashes of my former life hitting me in the face, none of them important to me now. I didn't know where I was going, but anywhere seemed better than there, where anything and everything could lead me to one memory of him. And I didn't want to go near that. Too much pain.
But why is the pain still here? How long has it been? How long will I hurt? Why doesn't Edward-ouch. Edward. That was the explanation to all my suffering. Any thought of him. How much I missed him, where he is, his last words-"it will be as if I never existed"-would lead me to my pain. And I just wanted it to stop! Stop agony, pain, spinning, intense heat, sweat rolling all over me, hyperventilation. It all just needed to vanish, I just needed to die.
Edward said that to vampires time is like a sieve and that he will be easily distracted. I could be distracted too, but not so easily, were it not for all this infinite inside-fire burning me, at my heart. Isn't he in any pain?! He and I were meant to be together, at least, so I thought. So if I were to leave his life, like he did mine, wouldn't he be in any pain? He hasn't felt pain in years, so wouldn't any ounce of pain shock and scare him, especially about someone he supposedly loves? Isn't he afraid if I will be okay, well…he said I would be, with time. But maybe I won't be, maybe I shouldn't, just for him, to prove he's wrong. To show that my love for him is too strong to diminish with time or distance.
Stopped. Finally. Dizzy, but stopped-up comes something through my mouth.
Ugh, seems like I've been throwing up for hours; I'm not even sure when I last ate. Or how long it's been. Disorientation. Normal? Ugh, I don't even know what to think. It's probably been a couple of weeks, months maybe. Where am I? I see pictures that fairly resemble my childhood and me. I'm…home? I must be, where else would there be pictures over the fireplace of me? I guess Charlie's at work. It's probably been so long, and Edward is clearly not back. Otherwise, he would have seen my state and comforted and helped me as soon as possible.
And if he's not back by now…he must…not love…me. I flinched as I said that, because the words burned at my insides. I had to know what saying Edward would-OW! There was a rip in my heart that stopped any possible breathing, and made me collapse to the floor. The cool surface calmed me down and brought me back to the kitchen. Panting, I heard a car pull into the driveway. I ran out into the rain, hoping to see the familiar silver Volvo. But as the rain drenched through my thin purple shirt and I saw who it was I slowly began to cry, though you couldn't see it. Good thing too, 'cause I got the sense that Charlie, who was the one who pulled in the driveway, was getting frustrated with my heartbroken behavior. I slowly turned around and walked inside. Though quickly, I wiped the tears from my eyes and began up the stairs.
"Bella?" Charlie called before I could make it to the top.
"Yes, Dad?" I reluctantly answered, I almost made it, and I didn't want him to see me in my angst.
"How was school, B?" he smiled sweetly, but I wasn't sure how long it would last, because honestly, I didn't remember going to school that day. Just the spinning and the pain. Just the constant stabbing at my lungs, heart, and stomach.
"Uhm…good, I guess. Intense day of gym though, so I'm off to take a shower. 'Bye." I swiftly sped-up dialogue as I went into my fabricated story more. I didn't even make it to the stairs before he stopped me from escaping again.
"Really? Since when do you participate in gym?"
"Uhm, since today, when I found out I was good at…soccer." I hastily named a sport. I don't even think I've ever played soccer. When I was little, I immediately learned that I was very uncoordinated, and contributed in sports as least as possible.
"Okay, go shower…I guess…good at soccer, wow." He began to fade away, as I myself got away.
It hurt to have that conversation with him. It was like everything was okay and normal, when it really wasn't. I still had my heart being slashed to shreds by the hunter named Edwa-OW! No! Worse...than before…agh, brea-whoosh! Winded and exhausted from pain and torment, I collapsed onto my bedroom floor, this time unconscious.
