Chapter 1

Dani took the key out of her pocket and slipped it into the front door of Nico's apartment. She turned it quietly and let herself in, thankful that he had given her the key, that he trusted her in his sanctuary. She left the door slightly ajar thinking her stay here wouldn't be that long. Walking across the polished wood floor she dropped the key onto the small wooden table, and rested her handbag against its carved leg. Slowly she made her way into the lounge room. She stopped in the centre of the room and turned about in an unhurried circle. While she couldn't see Onyx, she knew the cat was here somewhere, hiding most likely ready to pounce on her from above. That did seem to be its favourite pastime. After flicking her eyes towards the staircase, she let them settle on the floor, in front of the open fireplace and Nico's white plush rug. She kicked off her stiletto shoes and stepped onto the mat, letting her feet sink into the five centimetre long pile. She crouched down and ran her hand over the top of the rug, remembering how soft it had been the night they had made love on it. She straightened and walked out of the lounge, up the stairs and into Nico's bedroom. She loved that his bedroom hovered over his entire apartment and had a commanding view of the floor to ceiling glass windows that formed one wall of his lower floor. For a brief instant she thought she saw his body asleep under the covers as she entered. She blinked, and it was gone. She felt the lump in her throat tighten. I knew this was a bad idea, she thought.

It had been almost four weeks since Nico had disappeared, dropped down some Nico rabbit hole without a word. And as angry as she was that he had gone and disappeared, again, she missed him. She had not been to his office or his apartment since that day. Coming here, she knew would upset her, but when everything else had failed to comfort her, she returned hoping his space would offer her a reminder of him. It did. She was overwhelmed with images, memories, objects he had touched. She walked into his bathroom, and saw his aftershave on the counter. Opening the bottle she breathed the smell in deeply. Tears welled in her eyes. She tried to swallow them, blink them away, but her distress, her sorrow, controlled until now, threatened to show itself. The bottle slipped from her hand and fell to the floor. Fortunately it didn't break, but the contents began to pour onto the floor. Dani grabbed the bottle, and picked it up, saving only a small amount of the liquid. She began to cry gently as the spilled aftershave disappeared through the drain in the centre of the tiled floor. Now she had lost his scent. While it was strong at the moment, she knew it would soon evaporate, and she would have nothing left to physically remind her of him. His aftershave had been supposed to do that. She could always buy more, but it wouldn't be the same.

Every room held a certain memory, but it wasn't the same as a physical reminder. Every item evoked even more memories. Dani found it increasingly difficult to control herself, her composure threatening to crumble. She held onto the rim of the basin until her fingers hurt, her knuckles turned white with exertion, her head down.

Her tears began to fall more profusely, wetting the white tiles on the bathroom

floor. Dani fought to suppress the sobs that were erupting from deep within her. Her

chest hurt, her eyes blurred with tears, her legs gave out from under her. She collapsed

onto the bathroom floor. 'I didn't even get to say goodbye.' she sobbed, remembering he had text to tell her he needed to see her, and that she had been with a patient. He hadn't text or called her again after that. He hadn't answered any of her texts or calls either. 'How could you leave me,' she cried, her voice strained. 'You promised you'd always be there for me. We'd always have each other.'

Dani stood up, in an effort to compose herself once more. She went from the

bathroom, back into the bedroom. She saw his black satin robe. She remembered how deliciously Nico sexy he always looked in it, as he woke her, coffee in hand the morning after they had spent an incredible night together. Her tears started again. She walked over and buried her head in the robe as it hung from the door. The voice of reason in the back of her mind told her that she had been busy that day, but emotion drowned it out, she blamed herself. 'I'm sorry. I let you down.' She whispered into it. 'I never told you enough how I really felt. I didn't know…' Her crying increased, and she couldn't speak, her body shaking with the impact of each sob. She pulled the robe from the door and took it with her to the bed. She collapsed down onto the covers and held the robe tightly to her. After a moment she managed to stem the flow of tears. She smiled thinking of how Nico would laugh if he saw her like this. How he'd threaten to go away more often, just to have her pine after him. Her tears started again, running slowly down over her cheeks. He may never come back, she thought. There was a chance that she may never again would she feel his touch, see his smile. She wouldn't hear him laugh, see him pace the room contemplating something or someone, or have him pull her to him, in a stolen intimate moment at work. She tried to picture his face. His deep brown eyes, his dark, almost black hair, but as the picture began to form, her tears clouded over it. She wrapped her arms, and the robe about her body, trying to emulate Nico's loving embrace. An embrace she had taken for granted, and never fully appreciated. And now it was gone. He was gone. Maybe forever. She had nothing.

Dani fell into an exhausted sleep, her dreams proving to be just as torturous as reality. They reminded her of memories she had forgotten. They showed her Nico, within reaching distance, and then they snatched him away, leaving her alone in even her dreams. Tears ran down her cheeks as she slept.

TBC...