THEREAFTER

It was another hot summer night in The Hidden Leaf Village. The obsidian sky was cloudless and clear, only disrupted by the light dusting of stars that danced across it. A warm breeze traveled through the Hyuga compound and across a tear stained face, kissing it lightly.

Hinata Hyuga, who despite her great efforts, was wide awake after hours of trying to get some rest.

During the war, she longed for the day where should could return to the compound, wash the blood off her hands, and get a well-deserved night of slumber in the comfort and security of her own bed. That wasn't tonight though.

Not with Neji's funeral being in the morning.

On shaky legs, she pushed herself out of her bed and headed out of her bedroom.

"Miss hinata, is everything alright?" Asked the guard stationed outside her bedroom. Ever since the kidnapping incident when she was a toddler, there were guards constantly on patrol.

"Y-Yes, everything is fine..." She muttered.

"Can I get you anything?"

"No... thank you. I'm going to get myself a cup of tea" With that, she walked down the main corridor, past the formal dining hall, and went straight for the kitchen. Already seated at the simple cedar table was her father, who was sitting with his face in his hands. He was lost in his thoughts and although usually vigilant, he didn't even hear her walk in.

"Oh..! I'm sorry father, I'll go" she squeaked, backing out of the room.

"No...it's fine" he muttered, looking up at her with his swollen, red eyes. He motioned for her to sit down across from him. After getting a cup from the cabinet, she poured her tea and sat with the man she called father.

She felt awkward as she tried to blow on her tea in silence. Hinata loved and respected her father, but by no means did she feel close to him, or would consider him a friend. Private one on one conversation that weren't of a formal sort was frequent for him and Hanabi, who was the splendid and gifted heir of the clan. Over the long years, Lord Hiashi neglected his eldest though, and barely even knew anything about her. When she was younger, and his wife was in the picture, he had tried to have a close bond with her. Over the years, his flesh and blood, who the elders deemed unworthy, was cast aside and neglected.

"Are...are you having trouble sleeping father?" She finally mustered up the courage to ask.

He sat in silence, as if contemplating answering her at all. "...yes. I am afraid so." He sighed. "Are you having difficulties as well?"

"Yes." She replied quietly

On any normal occasion, Hinata would have ended the conversation there to protect herself. No matter how often he rejected her attempts at conversation and acted like she was a burden, it still really hurt. She could see something was different about him this time though, so she gave him the benefit of the doubt.

"...It is so strange without Neji, isn't it father?"

He sat in deep concentration, his typical fashion, before finally answering. "Yes...You know Hinata…I have long feared that the mistakes I have made in my life would eventually come back to haunt me...and the costs are far more than I can handle"

The vagueness in that statement was hard for her to grasp. "Forgive me, but I'm not exactly sure of what you are referring to...Are you blaming yourself for his death, Father?

"No, I'm not. But I am blaming myself for the quality of life that he had lived with up until that point." He shook his head as tears fell from his face and onto his lap. "He was my twin brother's only son...I don't know why I didn't move him into the main house sooner... i..." His voice trailed off when he locked eyes with his daughter. He looked at the beautiful young woman he created, and felt nothing but shame and regret.

"I could have made a better life for you too. And for that, Hinata, I am deeply sorry"

His words shook her to her core, and she was seriously starting to suspect that this was all just a dream. It had to be. Her father had never apologized to her about anything in her entire life. As it was, he rarely even acknowledged her existence. They sat in silence for an uncomfortable period, because Hinata just could not grasp the words that escaped her father's mouth.

"...its...it's ok" she finally stuttered. She wasn't sure if she truly forgave him, but saying it was worth it if it cleared the air a little.

"Either way I..." he stopped himself and shook his head. "...things will never be the same though. They can't be. Not without him"

With an air of deep sorrow, he stood up and excused himself from the table. "I'll see you at breakfast. Try to go back to sleep." He whispered, giving her shoulder a squeeze as he walked past her and exited the room.

Instead of taking the hallway back to her room, she headed in the opposite direction.

With heavy footsteps, she slowly entered Neji's room and looked around. Other than the light layer of dust collecting on his belongings, it looked like Neji was still living in it. It resembled the calm, collected young man who inhabited it, donning soft grey walls and simple, yet elegant furniture.

Next to his bed was a stack of philosophy books, a formal portrait of his parents that was taken on their wedding day, a family picture taken on his first birthday, and a more recent photograph of him and his mother.

She inhaled deeply, and sandal wood, his scent, bewitched her senses. For the tiniest moment, it was not true. She was half expecting him to be sitting at his desk, busily writing away, like she had seen him do so many times before.

The only presence among her own though was the faint echo of a life gone far too soon.

Hanging her head, she exited his room and gently closed the door behind her. When she returned to her own chamber, she looked around anxiously searching for something to ease her pain. After a moment of hesitation, she pulled her diary out from under one of the floorboards. It was her closest confidante, and she neglected it for the last few months. Grasping it in her shaking hands, she settled herself next to her window and began to write.

"You cannot come home from war.

I can't find that euphoric feeling that one imagines you'd get from a victory. I guess I can try and find some comfort in the fact that Neji didn't die in vain.

We marched home quietly. No one really had the energy to cry or to talk, We had our men and women to carry home. That took any of our remaining strength.

We entered the gates to greet whoever we had left, only to find that they seemed even more distraught than we did. The deaths were relayed to the village by messenger hawk, and were posted before we got there.

Tsunade immediately called fourth an official period of mourning. All missions were dispelled and every shinobi from our village was ordered home. Tomorrow is going to be the memorial and burial service for all who perished in the war.

The thought of Neji's body being buried and forgotten is something that makes me sick. I still cannot believe that he is gone. It's just too surreal.

I also have never felt so guilty in my entire life. While I wouldn't exactly call myself "lucky", my sadness and my burdens were nothing compared to the hardships that he endured throughout his short life. The fact that I'm here and able to enjoy mine while he is not is some sort of cruel joke.

It isn't fair.

Did he feel loved? Was he happy? Did he have dreams? Goals? It's maddening to think about. I'm happy at least Naruto is safe and sound. He has been a blessing and a great source of comfort through all of this. I don't know what I would have done if I lost him too.

I don't like to think about it.

Some of us became widows. Some became widowers. Some lost a parent, while others became orphans all together. I became...well...what do you even call someone who loses a cousin and close friend?

Trying to find some sort of inner peace through all this seems so hopeless right now."

She felt her heart breaking more and more as tears started to stain the little lavender book in her lap.

"Like I said...you can never come home from war. At least right now, it certainly feels that way."

A/N

Hey guys! I hope you liked the Intro! So this fic is my interpretation of the lives of the konoha ten after they returned from war. It disregards the last (not that i have anything against it).

Who will find love?

Who will become parents?

Who will climb the shinobi ranks higher?

Who is Neji's mother? is she alive?

What are the whereabouts of Hinata's mother?

What happened to Orochimaru?

I guess you'll have to wait and see ;) btw some of the couples in this are not cannon. For the most part though, they are (such as shikatema, naruhina and sasusaku). perhaps Choino ;)

ok, tell me what you think! :)

Also a special thank you to my beta reader SirFrederick98!