I Could Touch Your Heart
By Spunky0ne
(An Aizen/Ichigo New Year's Eve story for Sariniste! I had the misfortune of coming down with the flu just before New Years, so I am quarantined from my family, although my husband will probably still risk kissing me on the stroke of midnight. Here's to all of the lovers out there, about to ring in the new year. Make it a good one, all of you! Love, Spunky)
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Ichigo stood near the edge of the lovely gardens in Kuchiki Manor, marveling quietly at how quickly the place had been restored. Ground that, only a few weeks ago had been darkened and overturned was smoothed and covered in a carpet of thick green grass. The hedges were young, but already growing steadily, and all manner of sweet flowers and blossoming trees lined the tranquil walking trails.
And it's not just here, he mused quietly, All around the Seireitei, people are getting ready to ring in the new year. It feels especially important to do that, since we're just coming out of a war. So, everywhere, people are erasing the signs of what happened and making things fresh and new.
I wish I could do that.
But things still feel pretty close. Our physical wounds have healed...most of them. And good things are happening to dim the bad ones that happened recently. I guess it's like Byakuya told me. It will just take time.
He looked out onto the dance floor that had been set out in the gardens, where Byakuya danced slowly with a blissfully smiling Renji, and a short distance away, the lovely Tetsuya Kuchiki was held warmly in the arms of Ichigo's handsome cousin, Kurushimi. Ikkaku and Yumichika moved more suggestively and Rukia and Orihime giggled over some shared joke as they moved together. Ichigo grinned at the sight of the quincy Bazz-B and the feisty Grimmjow laughing and engaging in a drinking contest, while Shunsui and the recovering Ukitake rested near the edge of the dance floor, sipping at what was likely spiked punch.
It seems like everyone has someone...
It was a happy thought, but it carried a less happy undertone.
It's not like there's anyone in particular I was attracted to and I didn't go for it, Ichigo reasoned, I've just...never connected with someone like they have. Byakuya and Renji fell in love a long time ago, I think. But it wasn't until the quincy war, when they almost lost each other, that either worked up the nerve to admit what they both felt. Kuri fell in love with Byakuya's cousin, Tetsuya, at first sight at the Winter Solstice party. So, it does happen. Shunsui and Ukitake, I don't know how long they've been in love, but it's been maybe over a hundred years. Then, there's Orihime and Rukia, who both thought they loved me, then realized they had more they liked about each other. Cute...
He slipped out of the gardens and started along the dark, quiet path, catching a few last words as he went.
"Has there been any sign of Sosuke Aizen since the peace treaty was signed?" Ukitake asked.
"No," Shunsui sighed, "He hasn't been seen or heard from. I think he knew that even though he was helpful in the war, Central 46 would never release him, even without the hogyoku. I'm fine with him going his own way."
"And us going ours," Ukitake agreed, taking a deep swallow of the punch, then sharing a long kiss with his longtime love.
Ichigo continued along the tree lined trail, his mind now turned to the former traitor of Soul Society.
He was helpful in the war, but it was probably because he knew he'd have a chance to escape. And it even seems that, because he didn't have the hogyoku anymore, Shunsui didn't mind letting him go. I do wonder what he's up to now.
He might be the only other person feeling like I do tonight.
I wonder where he is...
Ichigo slowed and his eyes widened as he reached the end of the trail, but instead of finding the cliff and waterfall that should have been there, he found an illuminated blue staircase that led upward into swirls of thick mist.
Weird, he mused, I wonder if Byakuya had this put in for the party.
Seeing no sign of the area being off limits, he began to climb the stairs. The mist grew thicker with every step, until he could barely see at all. He started to turn back, but froze and stared in surprise as he found that, as he had climbed up, the stairs behind him had disappeared and were replaced by a wall that kept him from going back.
What the hell?
I guess there's no choice but to go forward.
He continued to climb with the mist tickling his exposed flesh. Then, soft voices sounded in the cool air around him, just whispers teasing him.
Are you lonely, Ichigo?
Are you looking for someone?
Someone is looking for you too.
"Who is that?" Ichigo called out, "Show yourself!"
If I do that, the whispers went on, Who do you think you would see? Who do you want to see?
"I've had enough of your games," Ichigo said impatiently, "Who are you? Tell me!"
"Such impatience," Aizen's deep voice said suddenly from behind him.
He turned to look, but found that the Aizen shaped shadow behind him disappeared as soon as he touched it.
"What do you want?" Ichigo demanded, "Why did you lure me here? What are you up to? Come on out. Stop hiding!"
The mist ahead of him cleared slightly and Aizen appeared, dressed in dazzling white and smiling warmly.
"Why Ichigo, I am so flattered you've come to see me," he greeted the shocked youth.
"What is this about?" Ichigo snapped angrily, "Why did you trap me here? What are you up to? Tell me now!"
Aizen laughed softly.
"I see you haven't changed at all," he mused, turning back to a table behind him and picking up two champagne glasses, "You aren't trapped here. In fact, the only reason you were allowed to enter is because you were thinking of me...wondering where I am. And wondering about my fate made you feel lonely too, didn't it?"
"I don't know what you're talking about," Ichigo said, staying where he was and crossing his arms, "How would you know what I was thinking?"
Aizen's smile became even more charming.
"How do I know what you're thinking?" he repeated, approaching Ichigo in slow steps, "I know what you're thinking, because I know you. I've always known you. I told you that before. Don't you remember, Ichigo?"
Ichigo stiffened, trying to think of how to answer, but no words came to him. Aizen continued his unhurried approach, holding out one of the champagne filled glasses.
"Here, why don't we ring in the new year together? We both have cause to celebrate, don't we?"
Ichigo gazed back at him in silence.
"Once again, you are Soul Society's savior...while I have gained my freedom. Those are substantial blessings, aren't they?"
He paused in front of the frozen Shiba heir, touching the glass to his fingertips and watching as Ichigo's fingers hesitated, then wrapped around the glass.
"I guess they are," Ichigo said finally.
"Things have ended well," Aizen observed, "While the loss of life that Ywach imposed is regrettable, even more lives were saved, weren't they?"
"What do you care about saving lives?" Ichigo asked, frowning down at the amber liquid in his glass, "Didn't you want to do what Ywach did?"
Aizen shook his head gently.
"No. I did not want to destroy the worlds and rebuild them my way," he answered, "You heard what I said. I wanted to stand at the top. There were reasons for that. You saw him, didn't you? The former king? It was your strike that ended him. Tell me something, Ichigo. One of your powers is to be able to connect with the heart of your opponent. You did this when you fought Zaraki, and discovered his love of a good fight. You did it when you fought Renji, and you learned of his deep desire to protect Rukia. Against Byakuya, you learned that he, too, wanted to protect his sister, but was trapped. And in your battle with me, you learned of my loneliness. But...what did you feel when you connected with the dying king? What did he leave you with?"
Ichigo stared back at Aizen, one hand wrapped around the champagne glass and the other reaching up to touch his heart.
"It's okay," Aizen said, leaning forward and bringing his lips to Ichigo's blushing earlobe, "I already know. I saw him too...a long time ago. I felt the emptiness in his heart and I wanted to stop it."
Ichigo remained frozen as he continued.
"You know why now, don't you?"
"He was a prisoner," Ichigo answered, blinking slowly as he confessed what he hadn't been able to tell another living soul, "The soul king was a prisoner."
"He was," Aizen agreed, "And when I saw him, he spoke to me. He asked me to free him."
Ichigo's eyes widened and looked up into Aizen's questioningly.
"He...?"
Aizen nodded and brushed a warm palm against Ichigo's cheek.
"He knew it would be a great sacrifice for me to become a monster, just so that I could free him."
"But you didn't free him," Ichigo said, frowning.
"Of course I did," Aizen chided him gently, "I made you, didn't I?"
"You...made me?" Ichigo asked, staring even harder, "You made me to kill him?"
"Think, Ichigo," Aizen said calmly, "He was a prisoner, up in that palace. He saw me, and he looked into my possible futures. He saw that I could free him...if I took the steps that led to making you. He asked me, and I agreed...even knowing that I had to become a traitor to do it. Do you want to know why?"
Ichigo's heart pounded warningly.
"Why? Why would you throw away everything to kill him? You were imprisoned for your crimes. You might not have gotten free."
"Oh, he assured me that I would be freed. And he promised me something else."
Voices in the distance began to count down backwards from ten to one as Aizen purred a last few words into Ichigo's ear.
"He promised me that the one I made to free him would be the one to free me. Do you know what that means, Ichigo?"
Ichigo gazed back at him uncertainly for a moment, but as the counting voices reached zero and the bells and sounds of celebration began, he touched his glass to Aizen's and both drank, before bringing their lips together. The mist around them thickened as they kissed once, twice, then three times, with increasing intensity.
Ichigo felt a sensation like falling, but he landed softly on his back with Aizen on top of him, holding his face in warm, affectionate hands and kissing him more deeply. He felt Aizen's tongue slide across his lips and opened his mouth to welcome a more intense exploration. He couldn't make himself move as Aizen's probing tongue dipped into his mouth, sliding along his and teasing the soft and smooth surfaces. And as they kissed, the older man's brown eyes gazed down so hungrily into his, it made his heart skip and flutter in reaction. He felt Aizen's hands tugging at his clothing, and his own hands moved to help. They undressed each other slowly as the mist around them swirled and brushed against their exposed flesh teasingly, adding to their rising arousal and making both men long for completion.
Ichigo's smaller hands followed the muscular curves of Aizen's shoulders, then slid down his slender torso and caressed his naked bottom. Aizen's sultry voice purred his name again, then he trailed hot kisses along the younger man's fine collarbone. He brushed his face against a muscular breast and raked his tongue across an unsuspecting nipple, making Ichigo groan and raise his hips wantonly in response. Very slowly, he worked his way downward, over the younger man's soft belly and following the trail of bright ginger hairs into the 'v' shaped area, where Ichigo's flushed and alert privates awaited his attentions.
"W-wait, what are you going to...?" Ichigo panted, stopping as Aizen's hands pushed his thighs wide and the man's mouth began to provide unspeakable pleasure.
Ichigo's objections disappeared into a haze of heavy panting sounds and sharp gasps as Soul Society's greatest villain treated him to something the likes of which his youthful body had never experienced before.
I never felt a longing to be held and touched sexually, Ichigo mused, his head spinning sweetly with delight at Aizen's erotic offerings, I thought there was something wrong with me...but if what he's saying is true, then it's just that I was never near the one I was meant to love.
But how could I be meant to love a wicked man like him?
Or is he really wicked?
Sosuke Aizen was a lonely man with powers that exceeded most of those around him. He found that power was a kind of prison that separated him from everyone. Then, somehow, he encountered the soul king, and he learned that the one who balanced our worlds, the guardian over everything, was just a prisoner too.
Both of them needed a miracle.
So, the king put him on the path to creating the hogyoku, and with the hogyoku, Aizen made 'White,' who chose to infect my mother, who with my dad made me. A lot of bad things happened when he took that path. But maybe it's like Byakuya said, when he told me how Captain Commander Kyoraku brought Aizen out to help in the war. Maybe sometimes we have to use one evil thing to fight another. So, evil has its place, just like good does.
It's all in a balance.
And maybe that's what we are. Maybe the darkness in him is balanced by the light in me. And if that's true, I don't think it's a bad thing. It doesn't feel bad, being with him.
The sensations that Aizen's ministrations were causing in Ichigo's piqued loins made the younger man pant and moan hungrily as Aizen's fingers slowly prepared him. When he was ready, Aizen positioned himself for entry and looked down into Ichigo's widened eyes.
"I told you I could touch your heart," he whispered, making Ichigo's lips smile, "Do you feel me there now?"
Ichigo's mouth opened to answer, then stopped and opened even wider into an erotic sound of bliss as his body was breached and he was touched in a way he never had been before. And as their bodies joined, he felt the balance they both needed, Aizen's darkness braced against his light
Ichigo's back arched and his body ground hungrily against Aizen's, seeking a kind of pleasure he had never known before. He sensed it just beyond his reach, and was teased towards it in a flurry of powerful thrusts and by Aizen's hand that caressed him relentlessly. And while his own pleasure was growing, he could hear his more wicked lover's sounds of approval and growing rapture. He felt Aizen's powerful body stiffen and shudder, then melting heat flooded him inside and he surrendered readily to the heady throbs and hard pulses of release.
Aizen's mouth clamped down almost painfully hard onto his, invading roughly, then breaking away to offer sounds of breathless gratitude. They laid together in a post-coital daze, still locked together and breathing hard. Ichigo closed his eyes and smiled widely at the unexpected beauty and promise on the first moments of the new year.
"I love you, Ichigo."
"You did touch my heart," Ichigo whispered back, "and I love you too."
He drifted off to sleep in Sosuke Aizen's arms, floating aimlessly in the blue mist and still hearing the bells ringing in the new year.
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"Ichigo!" Rukia's voice called urgently, "Ichigo, wake up!"
Ichigo felt himself being shaken roughly, and opened his brown eyes to glare up at the offender doing the shaking.
"Rukia, what the hell?" he complained, sitting up and looking around questioningly.
He found himself lying in the meadow beneath the cliff and waterfall on Byakuya's family estate, fully dressed and with Aizen nowhere around. Rukia stood over him and in the background, Byakuya stood holding Renji's hand, while Kurushimi had an arm around a worried looking Tetsuya.
"Is he all right?" Byakuya asked in a concerned tone.
"He looks a little goofy, but he seems fine," Rukia said, shaking her head, "You idiot, wandering off and falling asleep like that! You missed the stroke of midnight!"
"I didn't miss anything," Ichigo chuckled, climbing to his feet and joining his friends, "I just rang in the new year a different way."
"Whatever," Rukia huffed, kissing him on the cheek, "Happy New Year, Ichigo!"
"You too," he answered, his eye straying up to where a little blue mist still played around the bright moon.
